This episode sponsored by EL POLLO LOCO (Martha's secret recipe) Cheap and healthy!
Buaaahhhh! Mi pichón operado del cerebro!!
Jesús in the hospital ✓
Chatita in the hospital ✓
Patricia in the hospital ✓
Pánfilo in the hospital ✓
Marcia in the Sanitarium ✓
Verónica in the hospital ✓
Bárbara in the hospital ✓
Don Sebas in the hospital ✓
Sansón skipped the hospital, he just died (poor boy, he couldn't take it anymore)
Hernán skipped the hospital, he died at home waiting for a wife that never came to help him... yes! she killed him! Sort of.
Osorio: Oh my God, I have been so busy writing a stupid underage romance subplot for my son, that I was forgetting Rogelio, send him to the hospital ASAP! And don't forget than in the 11 episodes left, we still have to squeeze in Valentina, Minerva and Domitila, all to the Hospital, ok?
Octavio: working on it! Do you want me to make the coffee maker explode? I could send half of Avon's staff at the same time!
Ury mistook Rogelio for a mop, mopped the jail floors with his hair and now poor Rog is suffering, with the two sides of his brain split apart. Joining them will take time and effort. Of course Patricia is ''desvastada'' while Alma and Fer try to hold her. Have you seen a grown up man cry? Cantú is also very sad. Losing a boss like Rogelio is unbearable...
The news has reached Gossip Radio Hall at Avon, and Jesús is telling only one person, to make sure the whole building knows in a few minutes. Well... to speed things up since he is a superhero, he also tells Xóchitl... And since we are in the ''cebollazos'' time, they praise each other's ability in the parenthood area, pretending it is not a big deal, but highlighting that becoming a parent is the most wonderful thing in the world. He knows because the first time he was robbed of that experience, but this time he is making up for it. Imagine feeling that FIVE TIMES!! Yes, Xóch will have FIVE BABIES!! Her sonogram was in CinemaScope!! Here they are, three girls and two boys. Their names will be Cempalzúchitl, Chinampina, Iztaccihuátl, Temalpopoca y Guadalupe.
Verónica in storms unexpectedly wanting to see her daughter
She calls Minerva a traitor, pushes her to the side and walks in confronting Chatita, who is not so sure today is one of her visitation days, but says no anyway.
-Bruja Escaldufa, go home! You will not see Valentina today!
- She is mine and I see her when I please! I have the receipt! Wait, oh no, that is for Fernandito. Anyway, what is this fleabag doing here? And this poor girl from a lower class? I have clearly forbidden that MY daughter be near her! Why isn't anybody doing what I demand in a house that is not mine? Please explain, you have five minutes!! I have some killings to do!! I mean, my shoes are killing me!
Now I get it... in the fairy tale Valentina is told every night before going to sleep, Verónica is the evil witch! Talk about reinforcing stereotypes.
Valentina, who knows her mother better than anyone else, is the only one who can control her and takes her to the couch for a session, I mean, a briefing on juárever is going on so she can re-arrange the wall of death...
Take your baby to re-launching campaign day
Jesús calls a more calm Alma, after Patricia's hysterical crying, to tell her that there's an e-mail in her computer from Pancho López, to let them know that Diego Armando Manríquez, producer, will be coming to ''Monterrey'' to work with them in the re-launching of the campaign. Of course they will... After all this mess and nobody working and the few working doing everything wrong, Who is buying Avon products? Nobody! Even Chatita has forgotten she was a door to door sales lady. With Bárbara dead, her other only customer, Genoveva, was not worth the trip across Monterrey on foot. Now if she only had a motorized scooter, the story would be quite different. She would keep tipping over like a punching doll!!
Jesús can handle two phones and leave work as he sees fit
Well, while he is on the phone with Alma speaking about Rogelio still in the ER getting his brains sliced and then put back together, Minerva calls, and since Verónica in the house it is something he CAN NOT allow, he has to go over there immediately!! Rain or shine!
-Patricia, I know Rogelio's life depends on my being here doing the ''mannequin'' he likes so much , but I GOTTA GO HOME right now!! Verónica is there and this is not her visitation day! OMG, this is chaos! When will she learn? Gotta go, keep my seat warm ok? Won't delay!
Back at Avon, Jesús takes the baby and the diaper bag and tells the League he has to leave and leave everything in Julio's hands. Aída, Jéssica, Marisela, Susana, and even Don Sebas, that I don't know what is he doing (or not doing) there, listens carefully while they get the instructions. Please, go check Alma's mail, and don't be curious and snoop nothing you shouldn't be checking, ok? Just go to the computer and do a background check on DAM, the producer Pancho is sending this way.
Being on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu
Marisela and Aída check out DAM (and he surely is DAM fine, for all I can hear), because they tell each other not to be too obvious, since they both have boyfriends... 'Inga su! Looking at him doesn't mean we're being unfaithful, right?
Mommy dearest, here so you can plan your next move
Six eyes on her while she talks to Vale makes Verónica uncomfortable. But it is worth the upsetting, because now she knows there's a baptism coming this Sunday, and father Saturday will be there. Wait, did I say that wrong? Juárever, keep reading...
I guess the hospital is closer than Avon, because Alma, despite being notified last, gets home first. Too late anyway, Valentina has spilled the beans.
-Valentina, please go to your room and play with Raimunda, while Chatita and Minerva keep an eye on you, because I have to talk to your mother!
-Valentina, don't go! I am your mother and I say go to your room and play with Chatita while Minerva watches you, but Raimunda has to go back to the dirty neighborhood where she came from!
-No! Raimunda goes to the room and plays with Minerva, while Valentina goes to the backyard to play with Chatita!
-Juárever!
Then they both threaten each other, remind each other they could do this and that but they didn't do it for this or that reason, (fistknuckle-bitchslap-bitchslap-hairpulling) both get into a cat fight that I was sure from the beginning was happening only in Alma's head (she wished she could do that but she is so lame)... here makes more time before we go to commercial, blah, blah, I hate you, I hate you more... stop! you're hurting me! That's what I intend to do!
...and then Jesús appears from a cloud.
Sorry, wrong Bible chapter...
Anyway, when Jesús gets there he is welcomed with the poison leftover in Vero's threats. When he tells her to get out of his house, she rubs in his face that THIS IS NOT his house, but Alma's. You lived in a very low class neighborhood, tick and flea infested, don't forget it. Well, they are not yet technically married, are they? But they still live under the same roof and share the same bed. If I remember correctly there was no wedding! Anyway, he kicks Vero out of HIS HOUSE, and reminds her that she will see Valentina on schedule, in a public place under his supervision. See, that word only makes him a superhero. He has super vision!
So good he got there on time, otherwise, Alma could have lost control. The remote control of the TV, what else?
Everything will be over soon. Since Delia is more trustworthy than Astudillo, Jesús will see how they can they send Verónica to jail so she can pay for her crimes.
Beam me up to Avon, Scottie!
Jesús, who is in your heart and in every place, gets to Avon just when all the League is playing with the baby. Didn't he take the baby with him? Juárever! The computer screen reads PRODUCTIVITY, something seldom seen here, but hey, it makes a nice screensaver!!
Then, seeing all the women holding and playing with Luisita, he gets the light bulb over his head to light on!
I get it, Eureka! The re-launching campaign will be about being yourselves. All women should be themselves, not anybody else!
Mr Osorio, Mr Osorio, you're needed in production, stop playing doctor with the nurses!
Faster than a barefoot jack rabbit on the Nevada desert in summer, Alma is back to the hospital to see if Rogelio came out of his coma. Yeah right. She couldn't care less, she only wanted to tell Patricia about the ''almost'' encounter she had with Vero three minutes ago. And just when she was the most excited telling her, I almost did this and I almost did that, out comes Cantú with the good news: Rogelio is out of the ER but has to wait at least 24 hours to see if the crazy glue will hold both sides of the brain and there won't be any more internal bleeding. I can only hope he doesn't suffer a bigger damage than what he already had before the fight.
The campaign ''I am Avon, and you?'' is going well...
Julio likes Jesús ideas (or he won't get his paycheck) and Jesús is not even paying attention because his mind is on the Christening of Luisita. Julio thinks everything is great but, where are the models?
Jesús takes out his ''secret weapon'', a storyboard for the campaign ''A woman like you'' with the faces of the League (yes! add ''drawing artist'' to the list of his attributes). I noticed that in some words, he makes the letter ''N'' like the cyrillic ''I'' (too much ego maybe?), with the middle stroke counterclockwise (И). Could that mean something, like trying to be the center of attention? Is there a graphologist in the house? Please, I want to know if this has something to do with Elías' departure to ИY!!
Patricia gets into room 228 while the policeman checks her butt...
Well, we are all humans, after all, aren't we?
Pichón amado, pichón with the broken eggshell... I can't see myself without you... In these few days since Elías left I have grown to need you more than the air I breathe... pichón... wakey wakey...
All together now, all together now!
Back in the house, VIVA LA FAMILIA a todo lo que da! (full throttle)
Like in a Norman Rockwell picture, the perfect family, with Jesús holding a baby in his arms, Alma with another baby (I hope she has enough breast milk for two, where one can eat, two can too, right?), Pop Sebas and Mom Chatis are caught by ''surprise'' when Vale comes down the stairs with Minerva trying to have the perfect family picture to upload to her social network page. They forget sad things for a minute (like Verónica doesn't exist and lives every second of her life to plot to kill people) and pose while Minerva snaps the shot! Soon Vero's innards will churn with rage when she sees it, and will start plotting even eviler plans to kill them all! Oh, if only the wall of death was like a slide puzzle! (I am sure there's an app for that!)
-By the way my love, I spoke to Father Saturday about the baptism on Sunday!
-Could we do that to Fernandito too?
-No, he's not Jewish, besides, don't you think HIS PARENTS should do that for him? Sorry, I always forget you like to meddle in everybody's lives... go ahead dear!
-Nooooo Bombo, it's just that this way is easier, like killing two birds with a stone! Remember that I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!
If Patricia had heard about the birds and the stones, she could have started crying inconsolably... Pichón! Buaaahhhh, with a stone!! Double buaaahhhh!
How to kill a bird with a stone, I mean, a few more minutes with a completely unnecessary scene
Cárdenas and Jéssica are dining in the only restaurant in Monterrey, when the waiter comes and takes their order, asking if the old man's daughter will have wine too... Whaaattt? (like in the Jack in the Box commercial) Me, Old? Never! She is my wife and this and that... totally random! Fast forward!
Here I am guessing it is another day, unless Alma goes back and forth to the hospital between breast feedings...
Alma wants to go to the hospital again to check on Patricia (I thought Rogelio was the one sick, juárever), but before that she inquires if the campaign is ready. Isn't motherhood all about multitasking?
Jesús answers that he got everything under control, the campaign will be aimed to all women, like you, like me, I mean, like every body. You know, the models could be every day women, like the ones we have in the Avon's Gossip League, that way we would avoid the stereotypes. Yeah right, and that's why we could have, the old one, the short one, the black one, the nerd one and the simple one... am I not a genius? Yes my love, you are... kissy, kissy, mua, mua!
It is indeed another day, and Xóchitl slept in her husband's lap. She woke up thinking it was raining, but it was that Fernando was crying. Turns out Roger is still not conscious. Too bad crying will never solve anything...
DAM is here and guess what? He fell in love with Alma!!!
Yes, this will be Tracy Rodríguez all over again, seen from the opposite perspective (subplot written by guest writer Octavia, brown spider monkey and Octavio's girlfriend. Shhh! Don't even dare to criticize this subplot, she is very emotional since she learnt she is an endangered species).
How much time did they kill with the Tracey storyline? OK, subtract one or two days in this one because I don't think DAM has a son that doesn't want to speak to him... or a mother that escaped Perón emigrating to Monterrey, of all places!
Anyway, Alma looks shocked, and more when Jesús gets in and she sees the difference, THE BIG DIFFERENCE!
I am sure she is thinking, God he is cute! How did I end up with this toy Xoloitzcuintli? But all women are allowed to have fantasies, right? Well, either it is that or juárever, the case is that Diego Armando (like Maradona because he is Argentinian) doesn't click with Jesús. And Alma, and everybody else. You know, on the outside, he looks good, but as soon as he opens his mouth he spoils everything. Remember, he is from Argentina, the ''belly button of the world''. The land that thinks that when there's a lightning storm, GOD is taking pictures of them!!
Little did DAM know about the relationship between Alma and Jesús, so he tries to make him go outside and see if it's raining, but touching one of Jesús arms, wrapped like sausage in a suit one size too small, gets that the strong man is not moving, He better think of something else. Jesma (Jesús+Alma) want this cat and mouse game to go on forever, so they tell Diego how many things Jesús is in charge at Avon, but fail to tell him the story of the red bucket, meaning that she is not available.
Finally, Jesús tells him that Alma is his girlfriend and that the baby on the desk is theirs. Yes, in México people can have babies before they marry too, like in Argentina, so don't act so surprised. Sorry, you're wearing mascara, go on.
No, I am surprised to see this beautiful and gorgeous woman WITH YOU!! Yes, you with the elevator shoes!!
Jesús, jokingly but seriously, pulls Diego by the arm to his office, so Alma won't have to see that handsome producer anymore. Well, Diego have a little flaw, and when he walks by the league, makes a offensive remark (like the one Jesús made in episode 1) and they all throw shoes at him. I am from México and I don't understand this. Why not throw staplers, pencil holders, paper weights and other office items? Besides Verónica's, are shoes is that lethal?
Diego Armando, besides not liking that people call him by only one name, doesn't like Mexican coffee either. He wants mate, but he is forgetting he is not in Argentina anymore, so, being more obnoxious than gorgeous, responds to Jesús with prepotence and arrogance. He says that he met Pancho playing golf in the Patagonia. To make things worse, after checking the papers from the campaign he utters the infamous words: THIS IS WORTHLESS!
And Jesús, used to having his will, bleeds through his gastric ulcer and makes faces #3 through 11, challenging Diego Armando to come up with something better. Better than this improvisation and with those secretaries? Never! I am almost as good as God, but not that good! (Elías could have been able to do all this, but he decided to leave to ИY, pity -oh, sorry, with Elías, this subplot couldn't have happened, ok, go on...). Jesús is hurt in his self esteem and more now that he knows that DAM likes ''the mother of his child''.
-I need to talk to Alma, something like this can not be done overnight!
-Well, Jesús and I are one single being and if he said you have to, you will... Besides, Pancho approved the idea and so did I. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to breast feed my baby.
-Could Luisita invite me to dinner? Sorry. Can at least watch her eat?
What the sneaky Argentinian wanted was to go out with Alma to eat a good ''bife'' and good chilean wine. Here we'll start the pushing and pulling that will yield for another 6 episodes or so. Never mind this stupid subplot. FF!
Second miracle of love (well, half a miracle)
Is not yet 24 hours and Rogelio is starting to wake up. The first thing he sees is Patricia's face. Well, he actually saw the ceiling, but that is so NOT ROMANTIC!
I don't know why the first thing he wants to do is move his legs, but he is scared, since he can not move them. Patricia would like for him to hear that he missed her, or that he doesn't remember what happened, or how he got there, or where he is, but no, he only cares for his legs!
Patricia gets out of the room when the policeman is not watching and calls Alma. Amigui, Rogelio is desperate, he wants to start dancing right away! What is he going to do without his legs? His career as a ballet dancer is over!!
When Fernando finally is allowed to see him, Rogelio is still crying with his good eye and saying that Ury Petrovsky is to blame for all this. Fernando, who can walk, has a wife who loves him and 5 kids on their way, sees things on the brighter side so maybe with a little rehab Rogelio could walk again, but Roger doubts prison will give him the rehab he needs. See? That's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist. Remember when our father gave me horse sh*t for my birthday? I spent the whole day looking for the horse!!
Verónica cares for the Brazilian trees
That's why she doesn't buy the newspaper anymore. Now she checks the news in her tablet, Jefa.
Right in the middle of her thoughts the officer rings the bell and is invited in. After a cup of java he says they haven't found Cynthia yet, but they have a warrant to search the house. Not right now because that would kill the suspense, maybe some time next week, after she has cleared the house of evidence, they will come and search. This is just a warning, so be prepared, ok? In other words, hide the killing gallery woman! And the knives and such!
Oh, and before I forget, let me update YOU about the most recent findings. This is Jacinto Yáñez, and besides a long criminal record, we know he is linked to Martha's murder. DO YOU KNOW HIM?
Why should I? I am a model and a former mother... sorry, a motherly role model...
How to kill a cop and bury him in three minutes, I mean, how to kill a few more minutes with another completely unnecessary scene, part II
Oliverio walks in the office like a peacock, swinging his hips and calling his ''mahogany doll'' to come closer and see if she can guess what's new with him. She can't, no doubt love is blind. Here I discovered that even when they both work at the same place, don't leave the house together, because this morning, after she left, he shaved his moustache and beard, to look younger, you know... They don't care for the Brazilian trees, otherwise they would be carpooling.
She then says that she liked him even more with a beard and he starts pouting (like moustaches never grow back), just to end the sketch saying that she likes him with or without the beard and with or without CLOTHES!! Everybody stops working to make big noise. Wait, were they working? Ja!
Then they tell each other sweet things like, my chocolate lollipop, my little beardless bald man, and so on...
Jump to one week later without Cerro de la Silla sighting (or a spinning clock)
Astudillo, the lieutenant and two more officers are searching Verónicas house. LOOK BEHIND THE PICTURE! Look on the backside of the picture! Do you think I was that stupid? Ha! (it's actually under the mattress)
-Excuse me lieutenant, Cynthia told me that she had problems with Astudillo, maybe he killed her!
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
Much later on, almost around bedtime, Quico shows up this time with the second track of his debut album as background music: Gallito feliz. It must be June because he has his rainbow t-short and an umbrella made with origami. He asks for beaufitul Valentina, remarking the word beautiful. I am sure Jesús is covered in cold sweat, but he pretends it is just his coolness.
Once inside the house, Quico tells Vale to open the umbrella, and it was actually a love note that reads:
''To love is not just to love, but to understand'' Both Alma and Valentina melt like those hens from the cartoon when Sinatra was the crooner (remember Prissy?)... Vale never could put the umbrella back after reading it... instead they went out for a shake.
Me? I think this is getting out of hand. Verónica? She could have killed Quico right there skipping the picture on the wall. Sharing shakes is like sharing bacteria and other bugs! Quico shared the same shake with Vale using two straws and then kissed her hand. He thinks he can protect her from Verónica, poor boy, you will die innocent!
Jesús is like me, shocked, but Alma, who sees everything through the pink lens of love, remains calm.
Why do I have to witness all these trips to the future?
Jesús' mind travels to 2022 again and guess what? In a Monterrey crowded with flying cars, turns out Quico was actually a boy!! He is kissing Valentina's neck and asking why they can not be together alone. He has a sensor that beeps when Jesús is near and they're caught in the act. Alma snaps him out of it!
Jesús loses his temper again!
When the day of the shoot arrives (after the dark Monterrey postcard that elapses into daylight) Diego Armando is shouting so he can get more light and the ''models'' specially the ''classic model'' are nervous. Jesús, who is now their acting couch tells them how to memorize their lines and say them to the camera. You go Jesús! Good for you!
Then, right in the middle of the lesson on how to make face # 17, Susana tells him that the newest gossip at Avon is that Diego Armando has the hots for Alma. Speaking of the devil she appears, Diego runs to her, Jesús runs after him and shakes him to see if ''le cae el 20'' and leaves Alma alone once and for all. Susana doesn't run because that could ruin her makeup, but the point here is that nobody touches Alma, nobody!!