Thursday, November 07, 2013

PEAM #172-11/6/13: Gossip Girl Avon: Ultimas Semanas!!!

Recap By Pablo


Delia doesn't care about luuuurve!

This is the second time Delia set Rogelio and Patricia apart. The first time only Jesús noticed a silent cry on her face but now the whole IMSS hospital are witnesses of her pain and suffering. ''We need Ane and Dr Osorio in the reception area, Dr. Osorio please bring Ane Sthesia to the reception area''. Sorry Pato, you can keep swimming, but this pichón is going back to his cage... now with less marbles and no legs!!

Hi, I am Susana, I am a woman just like you, only older

Avon soy yo! And if you think I look good, you'll look way better! Guaranteed or your money back! Jéssica is living proof that Avon products enhance your appearance, unless you cry, then you will look like a raccoon.


This ''girls'' are such Pranksters

Pánfilo is probably crying with his one good eye after seeing Susana on the catwalk. This episode presented by the shapes ''sphere'' and ''cylinder''. ''Sphere'', ''cylinder''...
His loss. In the crowd, Ricardo shamelessly looks like nothing happened, after all the damage he did... bad monkey!
Diego Armando Manriquez, the male version of Tracy Rodríguez, who is now chasing Alma, in an effort to extend this TN until its breaking point, falls victim of the gossip girls, who in revenge, cut him some slack, literally, leaving him almost naked. Who would have thought these girls would have such a sense of humor? If they could only work half as hard as they have fun!!
Jesús is not the first male secretary, he shouldn't be so redundant, unless this has a hidden sexist meaning. Or, a self affirmation. I was a secretari-o, yes, I didn't make a mistake, it has an ''o'', ''o''. Juárever! Vivan las secretarias! Enough already!
Group hug! We miss the old grumpy man, because Jesús, when he scolds the Gossip Girls after the prank to that obnoxious Argentinian, sound fake. Alma comes to his rescue and all giggle and laugh! Secretly, they wish this nightmare was over! Aren't we all?

Patricia cries more than the baby

Is it me, or does Luisita looks way smaller than Fernandote. Maybe little Fer inherited his father's bobblehead looks.
Chatita tries her best to explain to Patricia, that now that her pichón está enjaulado, she needs to dry her eyes and push forward, like she did when Chato and her son left looking for new horizons in the United States to never come back. She kept going forward. In her own world, where nothing bad ever happened again, but forward, because backwards, as Cristina always says, not even to gain momentum!

Whatever happened to baby Roge?

The red one (I am guessing Uri) has left Rogelio worse than a Mostro. Even Mostro is shocked after seeing him in a wheelchair. Did he leave you crippled too? -No, I am fine, I just don't feel like walking, but between you and me, the red one disconnected part A and B of my brain and now, temporarily, I can not use anything from my waist down.
Whaaaaat? Careful with that soap mister! Better ask Patricia to bring Avon's soap on a rope on her next visit!
And if there is a worse side to all this, now that Roger is confined to that wheeled vehicle, he  is easy prey for the bullies, like the self proclaimed Bully, Calavera, Darwin, and an endless list of felons (and guards that stand there having fun letting anything happen) who now crowd his not so private space.
And there is a worse than worse scenario, wait until Uri gets out of solitary confinement, then we will see who survives!
Maybe the only light side to all this was that thanks to Fernando, who became Mostro's friend, Rogelio is now being somehow protected, or at least has someone on his side.
From all the kisses and miscellaneous (remember in the beginning all those soft core scenes with Rogelio and Patricia?), Rogelio's flashbacks are very poor, since they only include the birdy proposal. Ewww!

Playing soccer was something Rogelio liked to do, but now that he is the ball, there's something risky about it, specially when he just had surgery and his brain is not completely joined yet. There's still some neurons unattached like marbles in a cigar box.
The guards, even those who bet to Rogelio's team, had to stop the game, because we can not play ball with a broken ball, right?

Falling chandelier ACME brand (with a Fisher-Price set up button)

Vero has a new plan, so she calls Jacinto to help her out. The plan is that during Luisita's baptism, the huge and heavy candelabra lamp should fall killing everybody including father Sunday. Everybody who likes Jesús, must die!! After she finishes off everybody in Monterrey, her next scheduled trip is to Chicago! Vero must find that guy who conveniently ''found'' Vale on the virtual network.
The plan with the chandelier, unlike all the others she has implemented, will not fail, it is fail proof. When she touches the big red McDonalds Happy meal toy button, even with a soft feathery caress, the chandelier will fall with ceiling, beams, sheetrock and all to end such miserable lives of all her enemies!

If Chatita chats, Quico kicks and Chucho shoes?

Thanks to technology, which is now available to kids as young as 7 years old (and parents that allow that), Chatita will start chatting, and then why not, sexting, casual! Meanwhile, Valentina can update her ''Иetwork'' page and share with the world every little step and thing they're doing, that way her mother, Verónica, can better monitor them and attack them and kill them and download their pictures and print them!! No wall should have pictures of ugly people.
There's something wrong with Valentina's eyes, I guess, since she is holding her iPhone way too close to her face, but anyway, she took Patricia and Fernandito's picture holding, and kissing, and squeezing and loving, and wishing and hoping!

Leche lala presents back to the past 

I am no longer interested in following this TN timelines, so when Chatita claims she was 2 years old when the first TV transmission took place in México I roll my eyes. Chatita, the character, was born in 1948, because in 1950 the President Miguel Alemán Valdés, aired a speech that was live and in black and white. She ''remembers'' color came in 1968, just in time for the Olympic Games. I wish she could remember that the inventor was a Mexican guy who could never sell his patent in México and came and sold it in the USA. Well, back to Chatis, we all can dream. I just sigh and pretend I ''believe her''. I think she was already dating but who cares, here girls date as young as 7... no biggie!
All this during the update to the ''Иetwork'', Remember that Chatita is prior to MySpace time, where she learnt new words (she will soon forget them, but juárever), like ''website'', ''post'', ''update'', ''download'' and so on...
I am sure Valentina is not ready yet to go to bed, because after that huge glass of milk, the right thing to do is brush your teeth, not cover your feet!

Red buckets, red roses, red candles, oh my!

Avon is a wonderful place (I agree, I wish I could ''work'' there) and is full of memories. Right there is where Jesús and Alma met and sealed their destiny, so now they will enjoy a superb cena romántica. The best in Monterrey, tallarines y bombones de chocolate. Yes! Fetuccini, kiwi/strawberry salad, artisan bread and chocolate covered marshmallows in the fondue caquelon.
Right in her office, Alma has been very happy (Jéssica was happier, I remember), she became more fulfilled as a woman and gained a whole lotta friends, in this year and a half or so. I have to disagree, because Alma is not all that. She is bluffing. The place could be magical but I doubt it has changed their lives in the way they want to make us believe.
''My mission is to take care of you, my mission is to get you to love me when you are awake, asleep, and to see me as your love, because I have never felt this way before, because when someone loves somebody truly...'' (yawn)

Serves as a background while the happy couple (still not yet out of the woods because Verónica is developing new revenge plans every hour and every day, for as long as everybody allows her to and not report her to the police), eat their pasta and chocolate full of calories that hopefully they will burn tonight when the house is sound asleep and they start their own private party under the sheets.  

Cut to commercials

Did they pixelate Fernandito's privates? If so, they're so big they still showed up! 
Next day, during the changing diapers commercial, Alma tells Patricia she knows so much of this because she spent 2 months reading while she was resting her pregnancy by doctor's orders. Then Jesús shows up ready to go to take Vale to school. Ignoring Patricia's presence, Alma and Jesús start counting the money before the poor ones. Kiss, kiss, muá, muá...  Of course Patricia, whose heart still pumps blood through her body feels like she needs some sugar too, and Alma, faster than a speeding bullet makes clear that this Jesús is unique (besides tocayo in heaven) and is hers. So don't even think about it...

-No honey, I think she didn't mean kisses from me, but from Rogelio, I hope...
-By the way Licenciado,
-Tell me Licenciada.
-Licenciada.
-Nooo, not me, tell me what you were going to say!
-Oh, sorry, I love Chespirito! (wink to the camera)

Alma is congratulating him because of the success of the campaign, but Jesús wants that payment ''in kind'' later in the bedroom. Speaking about paying with body instead of money, I don't know if it's true or Alma's feverish mind is hallucinating, but she told Patricia that DAM dared to invite her to the nude beach!! Whaaattttt? C'mon Alma, you're not the last Coke in the desert.
Meanwhile Diego Armando, who also has a ''Network'' account, found Mighty Aphrodite  and is having wet dreams about her. I am starting to think that for him, she IS the last Coke in the desert.  
What I'd like to know is where is the line that coworkers shouldn't cross to avoid sexual harassment lawsuits. If Diego Armando keeps pushing, he might find himself keeping Rogelio company in the cage. Talk about two birds with one stone!

Which brings me to the visit of Jesús to Rogelio. No, not that Jesús, but the one from down here, who wants to do the same his tocayo from up there did 2013 years ago in Jerusalém. This Jesús, García, went to tell Rogelio to have faith. Faith is all you need brother, oh! and let me take Fernandito to be circumcised on Sunday. Oops, baptized! Sorry!

-Without me?
-Of course without you, or what? Do you think you can ask for a weekend pass?
-I don't think so, and I am very afraid that Ury will kill me when he is out of the solitary confinement area.
-You mean to tell me that you can not get a safe cell, after all, you're a VIP...
-Very Important People?
-No, Very vulnerable prisoner!!!

Anyway, if you can not get out, bring Patricia over here and marry her! 
Rogelio's eyes show his surprise because he thinks this is as good an idea as the one with the feathery proposal.

The re-launching of the revenge games begin!

As heartless as Vero can be, she still thinks of her daughter. Not only because thanks to her, she keeps updated with her internet page, but because she doesn't want any harm for her. After seeing the picture of the holding and kissing, she breaks the tablet and swears revenge separating Patricia from the bebé. After all, she thinks she rightfully owns him. Yes! The one she sold! I didn't read the fine print on the return policy, so I am sure Patricia, even when Rogelio is absent, will not yield that poor creature to the crazy witch! Her furious rage invades her heart when she read that Valentina calls Patricia her ''auntie'', and her mind back flashes to when Patricia slapped her silly in the restroom... You're so paying for this Zorrilla!!
What brings us to Patricia, who is already at Avon after changing Fernandito's diapers admiring her exquisite ring #2...

The elevator door opens and here he is, the almost   demi-God introducing himself to Partricia, who hadn't had the pleasure to meet him. The pleasure is all yours, he said, my name is Diego Armando Manríquez and I don't remember seeing you here last time. Where is the blonde one with the horse laugh? Careful, I am Alma's amigui!

After telling Alma that DAM is on his way, Patricia receives Verónica's phone call, and things get nasty when both of them start fighting over poor Fernandito.

When in doubt, meet in a crowded place or one more pearl on the pectoral and it would be excessive

Alma meets DAM in the very center of the secretarial lobby. She is unusually (and poor acted) aggressive and I am sure that is very uncomfortable for him, because the Gossip League intervene every time they hear something that they think is funny. After being gossipy, they are now also meddling, or sticking their spoon in Alma's pot, and you know, too many spoons in one pot spoils it and make it rot. So, Alma is angry because she actually wanted to go to the nude beach but now she has a boyfriend and a baby that stop her from doing what she likes. Bummer!

-I don't know what I hate most, your body lotion or that last night you wanted to show off with my boyfriend's work!
-But, but, all these women humiliated me!

Well... they're women and they have rights. After a silly chase around the office, Marisela pushes a chair in his way and makes him fall, so in return, he calls them ugly. Childish. End scene.

Love thy inept policeman

Jesús, who just minutes ago was all preachy and lovey with Rogelio, holds a grouch with the policeman who never believde him and let Alma of his heart spend only-God-knows-how-many-days in prison. Cough (barely one day and a half!)!!

Sealed with a kiss!

After gossiping about DAM in the henhouse Avon has become, Alma walks speaking to Jesús on the phone about some Camera of Commerce issue, when suddenly Diego Armando jumps on her from behind a concrete column just at the right moment that super Jesús arrives to see the whole scene! Talk about timing!!
DAM is all over Alma, Jesús runs to give him a taste of his knuckle sandwich and then send him straight to Argentina on the first flight avaliable, or sooner if he had wings. She thanks him for saving her, he wishes she would thank him later in bed, they kiss, he leaves to see Luisita and she finds an envelope in her car. I hope it is not from Verónica telling her she is being watched and that she has a sniper rifle and is not afraid to use it.

Phew! Jesús! You're SO UNPREDICTABLE my love!! So this is why the printers keep running out of ink!! Jesús has been printing counterfeit money from the ''Bank of Love'' to pay Alma the ''favors'' she will do to him at night!! Vaya, vaya!! Some kind of sexy business is indeed happening among married and/or engaged couples. The things we have to see these days! She kisses the ''20 besos'' bill and sighs. Now she will only get 19...

Rogelio swings both ways

Is what Mostro thinks when he catches Rogelio scanning Patricia's picture to store that image in his brand new brain.

-Boss, did she come to see you? You look very happy!
-No, today I saw Jesús!
-Hey, did the Mormons visit you?
-No, not that Jesús, Jesús García, a friend that I love very much!
-Don't scare me, do you swing both ways? You have seen me naked! I will sleep in another cell tonight!
-Noooo, he is now my friend but he was my archenemy! He stole my girlfriend! (like she was his property, right?)
-This one, the one in the picture?
-Noooo, this one was my lover!!
-Golly, Licenciado, you definitely are my role model!! If I get out of here, I'd like to have a lover too, or two!

Good news, bad news

Jesús, still with his fist in pain after Diego Armando ran into it, runs to tell Patricia about her wedding with Rogelio, ruining the surprise. On the other side, Patricia has decided give Fernandito back to his mother tonight at 8, 7 central.

Before I forget, I'd like to note that despite all those phone calls where Verónica confesses and threatens, 1) nobody mind her and 2) nobody cares if she is serious and/or will strike at anytime. Really? I would have had that phone tapped a long time ago! This is not an ''your word against mine'' issue anymore...

-I hope you don't send anybody to try to kill me again!
-NO! Next time I will do it myself
Juárever! (your days are numbered PEAM)

Hi, I am Luisita and I have ruined the myth that girls don't poop!

Between the gossip and taking care of Luisita, the Gossip Girls can not get to do any work. Why am I not surprised?
That's stink! Even more than Luisita's poop!

Tomorrow: You're all going to die! The christening of an innocent girl will be the scenery of the most hideous crime! Everybody attending Luisita's baptism will end up in the Hospital!  Tune in tomorrow, same Jesutime, same Jesuchannel! Different recapper!

Labels:


Comments:
Pablo:

This recap is divine! Full of lots of humor and snark and way better than the epi itself. Thank you!

I did like all the secretaries messing with DAM. It was actually funny. I did like DAM's Argentinian accent.

Killeronica needs to go. What is going to stop her???? I hope Suarez finds out or better yet Jacinto turns her in. She is definitely going to hell by trying to kill innocent people and innocent bebes and Padre Domingo too, in a church no less. Ya basta!

I can't believe Pato is giving up Fernandito! No way! I hope someone stops her. Killeronica does not deserve to have that bebe or Vale. Jamas!

I felt bad for Rog being back in that prison, but at least Ury is in solitary. Hopefully Rog gets transferred before Ury gets out.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrows epi. I don't want anyone else hurt by Killeronica. I hope she gets caught or that thing blows up in her face!
 

I knew that reading your recap would be better than watching last night, and I was right. This was great! Love how you pointed out the adolescent antics of this group. Still amazed AVON has their name attached to this TN.

Every time I see Alma having all her secretaries taking care of the baby, I start thinking how horribly that would go over in a real US office. Baby visits, love them, everyone's job being to work and babysit? Boy, would HR be busy. Ah well...to be rich and privileged I guess?

The Love Notes---I don't know whether to be nauseous or...well you get it. Gees what is with this pair and their arts and crafts. Children shouldn't be watching this mess anyway, so who are they trying to impress? I get the chills thinking about the cardboard, paper and markers that will come into play at the end of this thing.

Please Pati...don't do it. If Alma gets to bring her baby to work, can't they make sure Pati has the help she needs and assure little Ferny's safety? And I agree...why is no one on the alert about Virus?

Daisynjay
 

Another work of humorous genius, Pablo, thank you . We are in the ultimas but we still don't have an end date. Why??
Your recap was more entertaining then the actual silly episode.
I'm glad the DamAnnoying is gone. What a pointless plot.
Oh boy, onto the christening.
 

I actually enjoyed almost all of the episode but ended up enjoying your recap way more. Pablo, You even were quite musical in this one with "the chandelier will fall with ceiling, sheetrock and all". Fernando being "the broken ball" was a example of very dark but good humor. Thanks for the laughs! Btw, phone tapping would be a logical step. Law enforcement outside or inside the jail always seems to be at least ten steps behind and never logical.

I loved Paty squawking at her pichoncito Fernandito. But then the one thing that really bothered me was Patricia's sudden decision to give Fernandito to Veronica that seemed to come out of nowhere. First she loves her pichoncito and without consulting Fernando decides to give the baby up???? Is she planning on hurting her pichon more than he has been hurt by Ury and the gang at the jail? She surely still can't be planning on marrying her pichon if she goes through with handing over the baby to a murderer.
Just when you think the episode was A okay they throw a wrench in to spoil it.

Jarifa

 

Tablet Jefa, I just got my TV Guide for the next two weeks.
According to them, the last episode of PEAM is Wed. 11/20 which is one night later if they do single episodes to the end than I had counted. Thursday are the Latin Grammies and Friday has Corazon Indomable listed in the PEAM time slot. Maybe a double episode of CI?? BTW, on Friday 11/22 "Lo que la vida me robo" is listed in place of La Tempestad whose last episode must be its listing on 11/20. Things have to get clearer soon, right?
We are just two weeks out and Uni hasn't been clear on the programming of the finales or the following shows.

Jarifa
 

Thanks y'all!
Mow I have to Thank Univisión for splitting that episode in two and making us reshuffle our longly elaborated schedule for recapping it.

If it fall on a wednesday, I wouldn't like to be the only one ''having fun'', so, even if it is a single episode, could we still split it? Thanks!
 

Looks like TV Guide made one mistake already. According to Univision itself "Lo que la vida me robó" has its gran estreno on Monday 11/18. So take the rest of the info I gave you for what it is.

Jarifa
 

Jarifa: seemed to be some funky editing in that scene where Pato tells Vero she can have Fernandito. I think scenes where cut.

Nanette
 

They have to be careful. First they want to make us believe Patricia IS DEFINITELY DECIDED to give away the baby and then show scenes from ''saturday'' where we can see BOTH BABIES being baptized, LOL!

Octavio, quit the mushrooms, man!
 

UNLESS... they kept talking off camera after Osorio yelled ''cut'', and they change the delivery time to AFTER the baptism... who knows?
 

That was very funny, Pablo. Thank you. "Avon is a wonderful place (I agree, I wish I could ''work'' there). Chatita will start chatting, and then why not, sexting, casual! Better ask Patricia to bring Avon's soap on a rope on her next visit! C'mon Alma, you're not the last Coke in the desert. She kisses the ''20 besos'' bill and sighs. Now she will only get 19..."

I like Soto's horse laugh. It's very throaty. And I am really liking Rogelio. Does that make me fickle? shallow? disloyal?
 

Pablo- Another funny recap. I missed the show again last night.

I can't believe Pati is thinking about giving the baby to Vero. This is someone's strange fantasy, right? I also don't understand why this group of people hasn't hounded the police into watching Vero day and night, hired a PI to do it, hired bodyguards, or put recording devices on all their phones and in their houses for when she comes by to make her usual threats and admissions.
 

I was really thrown by Paty telling Virulent she would give her Fernandito. At first I thought she was laying a trap. But the tear running down her face didn't convey deceptive strategy. Why 11pm in the penthouse? She could never relinquish that pichoncito, could she?
No. She's a fighter, casual.

 

I am sure that Pato has no intention of giving the baby to Veronica. Yes the tear threw me -- but I'm sure it's a trap of some kind.

I agree with you all hat it is crazy that private detectives or the police aren't o Veronica's tail every moment/.

Güera
 

I am still thinking about what Pato is going to do with Fernandito. She did leave the desk to talk to Xochi. I am hoping Xochi told her something good to do as far as Killeronica goes. I really can't see Pato giving little Fernandito to that beyotch!
 

Mads: I'm with you. It seems strange that Pato would give Vero the baby, unless she's forced to by law or something. I don't recall Vero mentioning a lawyer teling her she could get custody since Rog was in jail.
 

"Diego Armando Manriquez, the male version of Tracy Rodríguez, who is now chasing Alma, in an effort to extend this TN until its breaking point..."

I watched a few minutes of this last night, Pablo, to see what Diego was all about. But a few minutes was all I could stand! Your statement that the tn is being extended to its breaking point is so true.

Thanks for having the endurance, the humor and the loyalty to stick with this until that longed for end.

You started loathing this before I did, but we're both in the same leaky boat now!

Still, we all appreciate your ironic and often irritated humor and your tips on culture. Just know you've made an unbearable story a treat in many ways for your readers.
 

Thanks, I guess it's good to be bad!

The thing is that I started enjoying the TN as much as they allowed me to, but then it started changing, and changing, and changing and I don't like changes. Or at least not so obvious and desperate.

Now I try to find the funny side of something that lacks of it.
 

Pablo thanks for the recap. The only comfort I can give you is at least this tn is an as bad as CI.
 

Thanks, Pablo. They aren't giving you much to work with, but you and the other recappers always make it so entertaining anyway. It's alchemy!

I think Octavio has gone on vacay and now he can't even be bothered to write his usual monkey nonsense. There seemed to be even more filler than usual last night. Alma and Chucho with their loaf of bread, jug of wine, and a thousand murmured sweet nothings...in the office...and endless loooong but not hot kissing scenes.

That desfile had potential, but was dull. If not for the pantsing, it would have been completely pointless. So...Avon's new campaign is a few secretarias who awkwardly stroll the runway and then stand there like they don't know what to do with themselves. Brilliant kreative work, Chucho. Now I want your shampoo and eyeliner.

I hope Pati is asking Xochi for help with both clever scheming and self-defense skills.
 

Remember when Xochi used to be kind of awesome, aside from her hopeless lack of relationship skills? Like when she would drop Fernando to the floor with no effort when he tried to attack her, or when she figured out how to get a paparazzo to get pictures of Rog and Pati? She could have been a really cool character. Why is she still so whiny? Why don't they have that photog following Vero?
 

Thanks, Pablo. I haven't read through all of this yet (just came back from a "field trip" to the Boston Museum of Science, wheee!) and am trying to catch up.

I was very confused about Paty suddenly telling Vero to come pick up Fernandito. Assuming she doesn't really plan to relinquish the baby, I wonder if she is planning to kick Vero's ass, and the talk with Xochi was to ask if she and Fernando would babysit tonight. (And maybe for the next 30 years if Paty is obligated to kill Vero tonight, but we know won't happen since we saw Vero at the bautismo in the avances.)
 

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