Caray, Caray!

F: You say that because you are so used to the high-end/royalty lifestyle (burgues/burguesa).
L: You say that because you have always envied me… because lets be serious, if the ultimate bad taste lived in this house, it would definitely live in this one room!! (don’t let Jose hear that, dear Leo, if you appreciate your nose in one piece.)

AS: I knew I had more Gin around somewhere. Thank you God, for this little miracle (continues to booze herself silly) Then she asks MA if they are detained at immigration/customs in this mazmorra. She wants MA to go bribe someone so they can leave asap. MA insists they all get some rest, he is exhausted. AS says she could be a bit ‘tone-less’. But in the remote case she were drunk, but she is not… (they have to hold her from falling backwards)… she is not crazy. She is going to go to sleep (bends over and looks at the bean bag..) in this little bean… I won’t sleep sitting there, better dead than simple (simple lifestyle). MA gives up and tells her to do whatever she wants. Leo asks him why don’t you call Mini and she can let us stay at her pent-house. MA says Mini broke up with him. We are not getting married anymore. And I Don’t want to talk about it now. He insists they rest. AS: thanks the virgin (Madonna) because that ho won’t be her daughter in law, don’t like her… let alone the one that was going to be his mother in law… that’s what I call a N.A.C.A. Here in Rome you will find a beautiful woman you can marry and have many banbinitos with. I toast for MA to marry a fine young Italian girl… MA insists time to rest… but the rest keep arguing and he looks away totally discouraged.

In the other bedroom, Don Chuy is lecturing his family…
DC: I know you are not thrilled that these folks are spending the night here… but what we do in this house is always!???
Chorus: To help those in most dire need.
DC: That’s it! Feel my heat! (pounding his chest) And don’t forget there is always someone worse off than us. And that is why we are all in this world. To help each other.
JT and Lupita are still not convinced that the RP’s are pennyless as they say… Don Chuy insists… Lupita repeats she just does not trust those folks.
DC: lets see, I want to see who will put the bell on the cat… eh… who is the brave one who will tell those folks that they can’t spend the night here. Who will tell them to get the heck outa dodge with all their ‘kiliches’ (crap).


Morning comes, MA wakes up first… DaVinci comes to say good morning… is only other one awake. MA mumbles… all this is my fault. Then he hears some strange noises, it is his mother’s snoring/breathing.

Wendy is done with her master work on Carmelita, even high heels… She shows Carmelita on a hand mirror. Here’s the new Carmelita!! She is wordless, then she says ‘Ay dear holy Christ! What did you do to me, Wendy?’ I just wanted you to look better so you can conquer Don CHuy. Carmelita asks ‘and what do I get for him noticing a woman who does not look remotely like me?? I appreciate the intention but you went way overboard… Wendy angry, forget the dress… you are good looking. Give me another half hour and I will show you. Carmelita gives in. Wendy very happy.

MA calls Saul, Saul tells him I was right, there were cops watching my house. They just left.
MA asks Saul to come pick them up at the Menchaca’s place. Saul in disbelief.

At Mini’s apt, A-hole arrives, giving her more compliments to her looks than ever. And she does not miss a beat, asks him whats in his mind. He keeps insisting he can’t stop thinking about her. She brushes it off ‘ay por favor!’ You surely tell all the girls that. He insists he only gave his heart to HER. He is definitely on an agenda, and does not waste time to propose to her to marry him. She just looks at him in disbelief and then sighs… He has to poke for a response from her. Isela comes and asks him if the RP-R financial issues don’t extend to him, right? Alejo assures her not. Isela says ok dear, now you can respond to Alejo the right way… All you have to say is Si!! Yes!! Or Oui!! Any which way, but already!! A-hole asks Isela not to pressure Mini.. He asks Mini to think about it but not too long, he could change his mind. (Isela escorts him out the door, Mini is yanking her engagement ring off her finger) Then Isela berates Mini.. You are so selfish, you only think of yourself!

AS finally wakes up at Menchaca’s. She is so sore it is difficult to get up after spending the night on a bean bag. She is in disbelief and wakes up Leo and Frida. Wake up!.. we have been kinapped! I knew our millions would awaken the envy of organized Crime!! Frida tells her like it is… we are broke. AS wants more explanations. Leo tells her we lost everything, we are newly poor… as poor as the people you help with your foundation. As poor as those who use the phrase ‘the intention is what matters’. MA comes in. AS grabs him and asks him if he made up the whole prank of being broke to give the whole family a lesson. Like in that movie we saw But... The lesson is learned. Lets go to the real Italy now, please! MA tells her precisely we are in Italy but not the one you think. We are in Italy street, in Nopalera colony/community. You heard what I said but you did not believe me. You thought we were heading to Italy the country, not the street.. AS anxiously asks him to explain to her why they are all poor., what happened? Its impossible, a fortune like outs could not evaporate even after 3 generations! MA has ot explain that he was accused of fraud, and now I am a runaway, we lost everything, houses, properties, land, bank accounts… AS asks what are we doing here, in this stinking donkey barn. That smells like spoiled caviar? MA says this place belongs to us… It belonged to grandpa and is in the name of grandma Mati, but it is in a legal mess right now. AS quotes the bible mentioning the camel going through the eye of the needle before a rich person, but don’t punish me like this… we can’t be poor! Anything but that! Not Poor!! (breaks down crying)

MA explains that if he turns himself in, it will be much harder to prove he had nothing to do with the fraud. I have to stay hidden until I get a better idea of what I have to do. Leo gets accusive, it is all your fault? AS says she won’t be able to withstand it. I wanted to visit the ruins in Italy. But Now we are ruined in Italy Street. What a cruel fate! MA assures them he will be able to prove his innocence and they will recover everything.

Don Chuy comes in… Good morning! … AS scared, thinks Don Chuy will harm them. She specially begs Don CHuy not to harm her bambino (DaVinci). Frida mentions to her that Don Chuy is known as the son of Sumatra but it is because he is a pro wrestler. Don Chuy explains he only came to tell them that breakfast is ready. He leaves. AS says she would first commit suicide before she consumes anything Don Chuy prepared… She repeats her questioning God for punishing her in such a cruel merciless way.

Back to Mini’s she is getting lecture by her mom. Mini questions again A-hole’s intentions in proposing. Isela reminds Mini A-hole has been after her bones for over 10 years. Or do you need decades of relationship like with Chiqui, who in the end turned out to be a vile felon?(long nails). Mini concerned what people will say if she accepts A-hole right after she broke up with MA.

Back at fonda, everyone is so sore sitting for breakfast… MA has to grab not one but two paper napkins to unfold them and put them down on his lap. Don CHuy brings out his spicy chilaquiles. He offers the recipe to AS. She says I don’t use to eat these things. I usually drink orange juice with champagne, eggs benedict, fruit, etc. Do you have any of those? … well no. Ok, do you have anything for the hangover?
Leo comments to Frida that she is picking up their slang quickly from living with these people. Perla comes and brings an entire bag of tamales and requests they don’t toss any trash around. AS says surely these tamales are not gourmet.
Apparently the chilaquiles are really spicy, MA is losing his breath thanking Don Chuy for them. Frida asks Leo to try the tamalitos, he says he is allergic to homemade food, he has a REALLY strict diet, 0 fat, 0 carbo, 0 tamales!… In comes Emiliano. He asks why they are in our house??

Wendy’s second pass is ready for the reviews… The mirror is handed to Carmelita, and this time she does look like a made over Carmelita in very good taste appropriate for her age, but still with Carmelita's personality… pretty blue dress and a cute no-bangs even length bob, very simple but with the simple makeup she does look very pretty. Carmelita agrees, ‘Wendy! This one is really me! But I look improved! As if you had taken 10 years away’ Wendy responds ‘no, maybe 5!’ Carmelita settles for halfway ‘7 and a half!’ they both laugh’. Carmelita is very thankful. Wendy keeps coaching her to tell Don Chuy to tell him how she feels for him. Even put a wrestling hold on him, so much silence harms you, and you are still young enough to deserve some. Carmelita looks glowing with confidence ‘you think?’ ‘Oh Yes!’ I guess Carmelita caught herself a bit thinking things she was not used to and suddenly got serious, bumping Wendy on shoulder. LOL

Saul arrives at the Fonda and AS grabs her purse and runs to him to save her, she is the princess in demise…’Saul! Santa Maddona! So glad you are here!’ AS and Leonardo walk right by Saul and out the door, like not wanting to spend one more second there… MA is still sitting down, a bit slow minded this morning or maybe still with the effect of the chiles… Meanwhile Frida thanks Don Chuy. Don Chuy says ‘at your service’. (Have to confess at first I thought he said stte of ‘you are very nice… for a rich girl’. Lol, had to listen again to make sure) MA finally is gathered together to stand up and wants to talk business since Saul is his lawyer, he wants to talk about the property(house). Lupita won’t talk until her lawyer is there. She asks Perla to call Tomas. Perla says he is not available, Lupita tells them to come back at noon. Lupita reminds MA to get his ‘tiliches’ out too, won’t give him even one more day. MA puts a clueless face for a second then realizes ‘tiliches’ is ‘things’. Alright, we will come later to talk about it, then. On their way out Perla plays like she expects them to kiss her hand, MA walks by, Saul shakes it a sec before exiting. Don Chuy rants at her ‘enough, Perla Ivette(?)’

Outside Saul tells MA it won’t be so easy to get the Ms outathere(he is playing mechanic on the RP SUV while MA just watches). MA says won’t leave them on street, just want them to pay me for it and I can resolve the situation with that money, at least for a couple months. Saul points that he hopes they never find out you are running from the law because then it would be much easier for them to keep the place. Saul will check the papers to see if anything comes about him. MA seems more worried about the car getting fixed.. is it ready? Yeah. MA asks AS to turn it on, since the hood is still open the noise jolts MA. AS rushes her two older kids to get in, she is in a hurry to leave this miserable place (with several denigrating names/adjectives, she even says ‘la nopalera’ is too po-boy, one more minute here and we will get assaulted).

This time it is Mini visiting A-hole, he is surprised she is at his door, she tackles him with a kiss, dressed to impress him, he asks her if that means a yes, she says of course! She loves all the nice things he told her the day before, she wants to eat him (bites his lip), but makes the mistake of calling him ‘mi chi-qui’ which is same way she called MA.. A-hole takes a step back ‘’Stop!’ (in english!), asks her not to call him the same way as her ex’, at least look for a nickname that matches his personality more, like tiger, lion! She claims that is how she calls all her men, which have not been that many, by the way (4 tops, including you). He does not believe her, says there have been maybe 100s, even tries to spoon feed that she plans to marry pure. He is in disbelief that she and MA never had intimacy, then laughs himself that this one he REALLY would never believe. She tries to reassure him it is true, that she is more old-fashioned that most people think, and that MA and her were just dating ‘de manita sudada’ (sweaty hands, like only holding hands? LOL!) She even swears it on her dad’s memory (makes the sign of the cross). The idiot A-hole is giving her the benefit of the doubt. He is glad he will be her first (M: more like The first in the last five minutes… ok, no seriously… but I guess since there is a chance in his mind, then they truly never slept together).

Back to the Nopalera, MA tells his siblings (minus DaVinci) that he will stay behind, since the cops are looking for him. But promises he will keep in touch. AS says don’t worry/bother, I am in charge. She will talk to one of her close friends and they will be happy to host them… Genoveba or Chavelita… Leo protests that they also need money. MA hands him all that he has left in his wallet (have to say AS was paying attention to MA’s wallet to see if there was more money than he was handing out LOL! But Frida has a sad face like feeling sorry for taking whatever MA has left and leaving him behind), three bills, Leo compares them and asks why one is smaller (denomination? Nah.. I was giving him more IQ than he deserves, he was referring to size of the paper bill, seems some of them are US and some are Mexican … someone clarify/confirm?) than the others… MA reminds them that if they are asked they should say they have not seen him, that he is overseas as far as they know. Frida asks where is he going to be, MA says don’t know but I promise I will keep in touch and that I will settle this problem very soon. Leo (calls MA mickey) keeps annoying saying be careful (but not thinking of MA) because you should not muddy us with your ‘fraud waves’ (LOL!). Frida asks him to shut up. Don’t you see that MA is doing all he can? AS breaks the argument, tells them to keep arguing in the car… she is in a hurry to leave, she asks MA to take care and gives him her blessing… MA stays standing there very worried about them and about what’s to come but none of them seem to see that except Frida. Suddenly he remembers something, turns to Saul and says ‘my mom has never driven [a car]!’ Saul has a brow lift like ‘say what??!!’. They both look out the way the car left by.

Inside, Jose and Perla are cleaning up/setting up for the business. Don Chuy is trying to cheer Lupita that hopefully today they will get a lot of customers. Nepo has made his way in, noticing the broken door while Don Chuy tells Lupita a story she probably heard hundreds of times because she says the last line at unison with him. She is irritated that the RPs made her late for the things she has to do to open the fonda and its their fault. Nepo heard the last line so he asks if the RPs are the ones fighting them for the place. Yes. Perla adds that they now want to take it away from them(Men). Nepo asks Lupita why she never told him. Nepo would have faced them for her. He also offers to give her the money to pay them off. Lupe again turns him down, it is OUR problem, the Menchacas. He offers again, he has the money. Take it and end this dispute. Lupita again turns him down. It is not your problem. In comes Carmelita with her new makeover. Don Chuy at first is admiring her looks, but then turns it to ‘why do you come so late??’ then heads to the shower (is he trying to get himself looking better for her? I think not). The rest of them give Carmelita compliments on her makeover.

The RP’s are back outside their home (wow! How did they get there safe and sound is beyond my imagination)… the children ask why they are back there, there is not even a maid. AS claims she is looking for her cellular phone, she has her friends phone numbers there… Frida asks her if she never memorized her friends phone numbers after all these years. She gives the Einstein response (in this age no one memorizes them, that is why you have them in your cell), don’t bother me more or I will get green (angry). Frida says no worries, I just wonder why we are here at the house which will be taken over by government any moment. All we would need is for the cops to find us here and arrest us for housebreaking. AS says that would not be a bad idea for them to arrest you so you can learn to respect. I thought the incident with the bulls would have been a lesson. I even asked the police commander for favors. Frida shocked… then you were the one that told on me?? You are a monster, mother!! Inhuman (desnaturalizada)! (AS looks away like she didn’t do anything wrong and is offended by Frida’s words.) A bad mother! .. Leo jumps in to defend AS, saying AS acted in Frida’s best interest. And you are ungrateful and a troublemaker. We are sick of your prole (perfect/untainted) posings. Frida has had enough of these two(three?). She says good luck. I am going with my boyfriend Kato, he loves me and will house me.Take care. Bye. AS thanks Leo for riddance of Frida. If she can’t stand us, I can stand her even less! Lets go, Bambino! (Leo thinks she is referring to him but).. no, I am talking to DaVinci. You bring up the bags. (loser, he agrees to do it, then complains about having to use his pianist hands for it). Then he stacks the bags and brings them up the steps (either he is Superman or these bags are not filled to capacity).

Poor AS, she better not count on Geno and Chavelita… Isela is bringing them up to speed on the RP’s days of doom. The RP are ruined and MA is running from the police. ‘And to think that my baby was about to marry that white collar thug!’ Geno is questioning what she is saying, she has not seen anything on the news/papers. Isela assures her it will be in the news in no time. RPs must be trying to keep it under covers. Chavelita assumes Mini is devastated with that. Isela lies saying Mini has been crying a river, she is so fragile. Geno rolls her eyes, she must know Mini a bit better than that. Isela continues ‘we almost became relatives with the thug MA. Scary. But the one that has behaved like an angel with us is A-hole! What a charming man! Chavelita comments that she used to despise him. Isela says now he is like a redemptor/savior to me. Geno points to Isela that Alejo is a major league gigolo, with a long list of ‘been there, done that’ women names. (Chavelita agrees nodding). Isela says that is why my daughter never responded to him. He was after him, we knew about his ‘Don Juan’ fame. But it is never late to right your way. He confessed to me that he was with many women but he never got serious with any of them because his dream was always to conquer the innocence of Mini. Geno rolls her eyes, Chavelita recognizes that A-hole is very attractive. She herself would go after him if it were not that her tools are a bit old…(ya se me alboroto lo Viejo). He is really a cutie! Isela says that was the gossip. Now that AS is not among us, will you let me play bridge with you? (Chavelita looks at Geno who looks down like not wanting to even imagine that happening even less agree to that). Someone has to replace our friend fallen out of grace. And who better than me? I am decent, with values and practicing catholic. What do you say girls? Will you welcome me into your selective circle of friends?? ‘Ay Please!!’

MA at Saul’s place. He is paranoic that the cops are following Saul trying to locate him. Saul tells him the cops seem to have believed that he left the country. And you could hide here. MA does not want to involve him and if he is accused of accomplice he could not help MA. Saul asks then where? MA says he has thought the best place where no one would look for him if they realized he is still in the country… (Saul interested in hearing the punchline) In Calle Italia, the Nopalera neighborhood… specifically at Menchaca’s place(Saul in disbelief).

Frida arrives at her boyfriend’s door. She gets the key in the plant next to door. She will give him a great surprise. (gets in the apt and goes straight to bedroom… clothes lying around in living room should give her a clue).. there is someone in the bed with covers over everything. She lies in the bed and hugs that ‘form’ saying ‘my love!...’ (to her surprise a girl comes from under the covers yelling at her. What are you doing here?! Yells Tato coming out of bathroom. She shouts to him she left many text messages, she was going through her worst experience yet and he was rolling in bed with this ‘little burguess’. He tries to explain his way out of it but the girl in the bed says it like it is ‘this is ‘like a freebie’, just sex, nothing else. Don’t whip yourself’. Frida is upset. Turns to Tato and slaps him. You are an idiot! Know what? Move to Communist China! Don’t want to see you ever again! (runs out) Tato wonders why all the rattle… ‘surely she is in one of those days’.

Back to Saul’s… hands MA a drink. He can’t see MA living with them. Are you sure you want to live there? MA says am I sure? of course not, and I don’t want to either. But can you think anywhere better? No one knows me there and I seriously doubt any of our acquaintances will go there anytime soon. Did you even know of a neighborhood called ‘La Nopalera’? No, of course not. But do you think the Menchacas let you live there? They have no choice. Aside from the agreement we will get to about the title, I have to hide as long as I can, until we find some way to prove my innocence. Saul asks what reason for your stay are you going to give them? Are you going to tell them you are running from justice? MA will just tell them the half truth about being part owner of the place and is ruined. But the other part of the truth he will keep from them. Saul wonders what will happen when they find out, they will lynch you and put you to the fire. MA says he will manage a way to win them over, he is a great negotiator. He will play the cards of gentleman, courtesy, maybe the victim when necessary… I will have to be helpful with them. Saul notes that MA has never negotiated anything with the humble folks. The poor here are not like in London. If you play anything twisted to the poor here, the one that will end twisted is you. Cocky deaf MA says poor are poor everywhere. Will soon win over the Menchacas. He knows his capabilities. MA’s phone rings. It is Frida with her new tragic event. He asks her to calm down, they will go pick her up.

At Fonda Lupita is talking to Tomas. You think we will win? He assures her that for the time they have lived there they should win, even without the deed. Lupita gets a big sigh of relief. The whole family is very thankful. When Perlita thanks Tomas, he says just drinking a soda with her, he feels compensated. Jose says he did not believe Tomas could help them but now he can take his sister out and he will even pay for the movie! Perla gets up to protest and taps Jose on head. Don CHuy tells Tomas he took a big weight off their shoulders. See? Dios aprieta pero no ahorca (God tests you but won’t forsake you) Lupita says she was turning red of worry. Now all they have to wait is for the RP to come get their things out. Tomas gets alarmed… Lupita explains they stayed a night and left their things for a few days. Tomas is alarmed more, that changes the whole picture. If the RP came and left their things and you all let them, it is like they claimed the property as theirs and you acknowledged it. (very true, I think) All of a sudden from celebration it goes to silent mourning everyone looking at each other.

MA and Saul pick up Frida, they are at a park bench… she tells him the story, Tato betrayed her with another girl from the group. jShe can’t take it anymore, first her friends turn on her, her brother Leo bothers her all the time, and her mother despises her. She loves Leo more than me. Take me with you. You are the only one that understands me. MA says he has nothing to offer her at the moment. All she wants is to be with him. Saul looks worried. MA says you can count on me for anything. I hope you don’t mind but we have to go back to the Menchaca’s. We will stay there.

Suddenly we are transported in time, the Ms and MA with respective lawyers who have a cordial greeting (or so it seems) at the fonda. MA begins to say he does not plan to get them out of here. All the ones under 20 get altered (round 1!)and Don Chuy has to calm everyone down. Saul says everyone has to calm down, we have to deal with this as civilized people. Lupita notes that civilized people don’t take advantage of others. Don Chuy reminds MA he gave his word that in exchange of storing his ‘trickes’ you would not cause trouble.
Tomas tries to state that the Ms have been here for over 20 yrs so they have rights to it. Saul brings up what Tomas had just warned the family as the stand of MA. Perla and Frida get into an argument again (round 2!) about Don Chuy letting them leave their things as a favor (from his good heart) and his kids having to ‘go along’. Jose starts the mess again(round 3!)… Don Chuy and MA have to calm the spirits/pride hormones. Lupita asks MA what is behind your ‘deal’? MA proposes he will sell them the place, but since they can’t pay cash he will propose…  Lupita cuts him off and reminds him she had proposed that very deal but he did not accept (by now Frida has stepped between MA and Lupita and MA gently pushes her out of the way. ) Lupita says they have made many payments. Shows the receipts to Saul, he says the receipts have no legal value. (more than round 4, the place turns chaotic instantly)

Prev: Geno tells AS on phone about the gossip she heard (from Isela)… and apparently AS and Leo have to play disguised to not get in trouble. Meanwhile the ‘war’ continues at Menchaca’s about MA and his motives to stay there.

Labels: pobres