Caray, Caray!

Beto looks as though he's going to collapse beneath the weight of all those roses. The snooty friends tell Ahole that Mini and Mom haven't been to the cloob all day. Enraged, Ahole tells Beto to throw the roses in the trash. No, Beto's not allowed to give them to his girlfriend - he must throw them out! He gets in a golf cart for a ride to the refuse area, but I bet those roses never quite make it into the trash...

At the market, Carmela and Guendy catch up on the Nepo/Lupita gossip, such as it is, and then Chilaquiler (Chila-Killer?) starts flirting with Carmela. He's reallllly looking forward to seeing her at his godson's wedding this weekend. Carmelita doesn't seem to hate the attention, but she's not comfortable with it either. She's even more uncomfortable with Guendy's enthusiasm, because in case you haven't noticed, Guendy is on a mission to get everybody in La Nopalera hooked up with someone! Chila-Killer is a very sloppy eater, too.

Speaking of slobs, JT is rubbing his armpits with his hands and sniffing them. (Didn't someone around here mention Mary Katherine Gallagher recently?) Frida claims to be horrified, but that doesn't explain why she continues to hang around and taunt him if he's truly as unbearably stinky as she claims. He puts his smelly hands on her face, and she just stands there complaining instead of running away to disinfect herself, so I still say it's love. Or at least pheromones, baby!

Mini is having trouble finding MA, and she can't get through to his cell. She calls Frida for help; Frida tells her to use the GPS to go wherever he said to meet her, and just wait and surely he'll show up. Bye, bourgeoise!

Guendy hears Frida's side of the conversation and tries to find out if this aforementioned "little hamburger" is Mike's novia. Frida has no comment, and Carmelita tries to get Guendy to butt out of everyone's business. But Lupita walks in just as Guendy is complaining that she can't figure out why Lupita encouraged her to pursue Mike when Mike already has a girlfriend. She rants and raves until Lupita tells her to shut it.

Guendy goes back to her hair salon, or should I say her cosmetology palace, and Carmelita tries to assure Lupita that Guendy doesn't know what she's talking about. Lupita scoffs and says she doesn't care anyway. She's not very convincing!

In spite of MA's advice to be inconspicuous, Mini is dressed to kill in that red non-maternity outfit. We're at the Shanghai Cafe, where MA usually meets Saul. Mini promises to help MA any way she can, but she hasn't found any evidence yet. There's a laptop that Ahole keeps in a safe, but she can't get to it. He says if she can copy anything from the laptop, or find any information regarding foreign bank accounts or records of any financial transactions, that would help. He squirms while she undresses him with her eyes and mentally ravishes him.

Ahole calls. She rejects the call. Mini thinks this place is gross. She mistakes a fig for a cockroach. She doesn't like the way MA smells, and sprays him with perfume. She tries to reminisce about the good times they shared in London; he tells her to leave that in the past. She's married to Ahole now.

MA needs to get back to work. He tells Mini he's got things to do. "You're going back to the hotel to see your mother, right?" she asks. That stops MA in his tracks. Oh yeah, she knows all about AS and Leo and the much-vaunted Countess staying at the most expensive hotel in the city. She wants to take him there, but he says he can't afford for them to be seen together. She wants to know where he and Frida are staying. "Not in that super hotel, that's for sure!" he answers. All he wants is her promise to look for that evidence. She promises all of that and "much more." She loooooooves him and wants to see him again. He takes off and she is stuck with the bill.

Leo and AS tell Countess Macarena that they wish she could stay for weeks or months, but they realize she has to go back to Spain to plan the wedding. She excuses herself to make a phone call; she says she needs to confirm her flight home. Hmm. Why does she need privacy for that? I think we know why. But this gives Leo and AS some privacy too, to be approached by a hotel clerk asking them to pay up. They shoo him away, but he'll probably come back with reinforcements; AS tells Leo to take note of the emergency exits, just in case.

Lupe denies that she's moping over MA. "I was born at night, but not last night!" Carmelita scoffs. "You're jealous!" She accuses Lupe of using her lame relationship with Nepo as an excuse to pretend that she doesn't feel something for MA.

Mini is just leaving the restaurant as her phone rings. This time she takes Ahole's call; he's still at home, but she doesn't know that. She tells him, "I'm at the cloob with Mommy and friends, where else? Kisses, see you tonight, bye!" She prances away from the restaurant before the waiter can give her her change.

Ahole seethes and tells himself that if she's cheating on him, he'll kill her - after the baby is born. Just then, Isela comes home with many full shopping bags. She is surprised to find Ahole at home, but innocently tells him that she went shopping by herself. If Mini's not home, then surely she's out with friends.

She hurriedly excuses herself to use the "pipisroom." She calls Mini to warn that her cover's been blown, but the phone is out of range - I wonder if MA knows that that restaurant is a dead zone for Unefon cell signals. Hmm, maybe they should all switch to another carrier! But I digress.

Back at the market, MA can't reach his mother, but at least Saul is still taking his calls. MA apologizes for being such a heel earlier and brings Saul up to speed: he can't find those missing papers, and he's letting Mini look for evidence. Saul warns him to be careful and wishes him luck. Apparently MA had some kind of epiphany in between episodes where he realized that when your world is at rock-bottom, you have to apply yourself and rebuild, which I guess is why he took his old job back at the market.

Haha! Mini's home. Ahole is waiting for her on their doorstep. He asks what she and Mami did at the cloob today. She rattles off a whole list of things they supposedly did there, when Mami comes outside to join them and Mini trails off, frantically trying to come up with a better story. Isela says they really did go to the club, in the spa, but she was suddenly possessed with a devilish urge to shop and then abandoned Minerva with no explanation. She's ever so sorry for ditching Mini like that. Ahole doesn't buy it, but Isela insists that her daughter is incapable of lying.

MA and Trofeo have finished their work. Nepo tells them to go home - but MA wants an advance on his paycheck so he can buy some things. Nepo replies, "Do I look like a bank? You haven't even worked a full pay period yet." MA offers to stay a little longer to help Nepo around the office, but Nepo wants him OUT. Trofeo has to drag MA away.

Ahole orders Isela away so that he can talk to Minerva alone. Mini berates him for speaking so harshly to his mami-suegra. (Funny how they are always so united against Ahole, but at one another's throats behind his back!) He angrily asks if she was with another man. Unable to compose a convincing denial, she swoons in his arms.

Chilly-Killa (I want to call him CK) is at the fonda now, supposedly to see Lupita about the plans for the wedding, but I'm sure he didn't drag a comb full of spittle through his hair just for that. Sure enough, a moment later he is urging Carmelita to call him by his real name, "Gumercindo." (Well, all righty, I'll call you Gomer, if you insist!) Or she can call him whatever she wants. This time, she seems to really enjoy the attention - but maybe that's because Chuy is watching. Chuy gets very irritated and tells Gomer/CK to stop bugging her. "Lupita is over this way," Chuy says, directing his friend into the other room. "Don't you have anything to do?" he scolds Carmelita.

Ahole is a nervous wreck over Mini's convenient fainting spell, but she revives abruptly with some strange pregnancy-induced muscle spasm that causes her to slap him when he calls her "gordis." She whines that she was overwhelmed by his angry eyes and she didn't understand where all those questions were coming from. (Mami is watching from the little porthole above.) He says it's because he remembers she fooled around with him a little bit when she was with MA. (Yum, irony!) He apologizes for his jealousy. She reminds him not to cause any stress to the baby.

A very chilly Lupita is suspicious to see MA home so early. She questions him about his "new novia." He says she's the only novia around here, and she's Nepo's. She doesn't want to talk about it! If he wants to hang around, he can help her prepare the order (or was it the budget) for the wedding. He tries to joke around with her, moving to the other side of the counter, supposedly to get a view of "the sea." She scoffs at him, but then turns her back and smirks.

Diego has returned to futbal practice, but the coach notices that he's distracted and not doing well. Maybe it's something to do with that illness he had that caused him to miss practice before? Yeah, Diego says, that's it. But it's getting better, really. Nepo shows up and the coach says the same thing - distracted and not doing a good job. Nepo says, well, can you believe it, my boy was thinking of giving up all this for some kind of book-learnin' career. Instead of this - the best career imaginable! The coach says that's something that Diego and Nepo will have to hash out on their own.

Diego is unhappy with Nepo for treating him like a little kid in front of the coach. Nepo starts to lose his temper, too. It's been a horrible day. But they get over it and leave the soccer field in a better mood.

The Countess gets all choked up saying goodbye to her gracious hosts. They're getting a bit choked up, too. Then inspiration hits: she says there's still time to cancel her flight. Then she could stay a little longer! But Leo says no no, you've got to go home and plan our wedding! He proposes a toast: to our pure and not-at-all-opportunistic love!

Lupe and MA talk about his plans to renovate the penthouse. She says they'll be much safer after the renovation when people are chucking fireworks onto the roof. She's only teasing him, but suddenly they realize that their faces are very close. They pull away hurriedly.

MA says Nepo refused to give him an advance on his paycheck, and does she have any idea why he might be in a bad mood? She says Nepo is a nice guy. "He's nice to you, because he's in love with you," MA says. He needs the money to hire someone to do the renovation. "Why don't you do it yourself?" Lupe asks. (Probably because it would be embarrassing for the hammer and the nails.) He is stunned by the suggestion, but Lupita says Chuy built the whole house. MA is still stunned. I guess he thinks houses are built by robots or elves.

Isela scolds Mini for the whole disaster of today. Mini feels that she is the queen of lies, so there's no risk. Still, she'll double up on the precautions. She wants MA baaaaad! Isela says Mini must get her sex obsession from Dad's side of the family.

Mini thinks Isela can help her with Ahole's laptop because somehow, being an avid Internet shopper makes her a computer expert. Isela is as confused by this connection as I am. She says sure she can shop, but she doesn't know the advanced computer stuff, like The Facebook and The Twister. She doesn't even know how to send an email. Mini tells her to learn.

Mini can't find her cell phone. I have a bad feeling about this.

MA warms up to the idea of doing his own construction. He can learn it all with Internet videos. Lupita says that since he's helping her with the wedding, she'll help him with the construction. She makes up a list of materials he'll need. He's profoundly confused by the whole concept of buying an entire wall or roof.

And now Sharky is here. He wants money!

Yeah, Ahole's got Mini's phone. Only one thing catches his attention: a caller named Tato. He mentally connects all the wrong dots and concludes that Tato is Mini's boyfriend. He calls the number, and Tato spouts a lot of incriminating stuff before waiting to hear Mini's voice. Ahole hangs up in a cold rage. Maybe he'll kill her now after all.

Next time: Lupita is relieved to hear that Mike doesn't have a novia - but his ex is worth a thousand novias! Also: Will Mini consider faking a suicide attempt to distract Ahole? Or is she planning to dope him up? Either way, he's a dope!

Labels: pobres