Caray, Caray!

Diego tells Irene about how he really felt like Rodrigo was there, listening to him, and how much he misses him.  *drink*  He's hoping this is a sign that he's recovering.  Irene encourages him not to get his hopes up.  They change the subject to the need for a DNA test on Diana's baby and start researching on the Internet.

Brigitte gets Natalia's work number from Carmen and calls to ask for an appointment with Irene.  Natalia tells her it's way too early for that--they don't even know if they're going to go forward with the clothing line yet.  Brigitte complains to Carmen that Natalia's just being selfish.  She's determined to get a job at Caprico (hence the title).

Irma the nurse would totally be putting the moves on Rodrigo if he were conscious.  She settles for putting him through some passive stretches.

Irene and Diego start calling labs to ask what exactly a DNA test entails and how long it takes.  The first lab tells Diego it takes a week and he flips.

Diana is feeling so sick that there's no food that appeals to her.  Lala encourages her to try something, so Diana asks for fruit.  Diego and Irene get home and Diego tells the staff to pack Diana's bags right away.  "Get out or I'll tell everybody what you did!"  Diana goes running to Vicente to complain and Diego starts to drag her out of the room, but he stops to tell Vicente that Diana's been cheating on him with Oliverio.  Diana swears up and down that it's not true, but Vicente takes his grandson's side (!) and tells her to get out or he'll kick her out himself.  Diego gets her out of the room and thanks his grandfather for his support.

Diana goes to her old room to shriek at the maids not to touch her stuff.  Diego gets in there and starts helping them pack.

Eleazar and an enormous bouquet of red roses plan their romantic assault on Carmen.  The Garcia boys are heading out of the building and joke with Eleazar about pretending to be Lupita's dad and now he's bringing Carmen flowers.  El says they're for HIS mom, not theirs.

Alonso calls to talk to Irene, but she's in the middle of witnessing Diana's messy ousting.  Diana and three suitcases (is that all she had?) are left outside the front gate.

Eleazar took the flowers to Luz.  And not that she doesn't deserve them, but I'd still like to smack him upside the head.  Carmen comes over to visit Luz and get a recipe from her.  Carmen fills Luz in on what a good job Eleazar did with the presentation this morning.

Diana stands outside the house and swears revenge.  Yawn.  A conveniently passing taxi, conveniently driven by Andres, shows up.  He loads her bags in the trunk and they make their way…to Karina's?

Alonso drives himself nuts thinking about what Irene not taking his call means.

Vicente is upset after all the drama and refuses the food Lala brings him.  This family really doesn't do "low stress."  Lala runs downstairs to tell Diego and Irene that Vicente's not doing well.

Luz is sure that Eleazar would make a great dad.  She and Carmen start in on how it had better not be to Kimberly's children, because THAT woman….  Eleazar makes a run for it.  Carmen asks Luz for a rice recipe that Eleazar particularly likes, so she can make it to thank him for doing Lupita a solid.

Vicente swears he's been taking his meds, he's just upset about what happened is all.  "I was so excited about having a great-grandchild."  Irene makes a "well maybe if my baby hadn't died" face.

Diego calls Alonso to come over, since Vicente doesn't want him to call the cardiologist.

Diana calls Karina from the taxi to complain about how Diego heartlessly threw her out of the house without even caring that she's pregnant by the lover he now has evidence of.  The nerve!  Karina is, understandably, not thrilled at the prospect of having Diana move in with her, but when Diana demands that Karina wait at the door of the building for her and bring money to pay for the taxi, well…Karina perks right up, realizing that only a true friend would demand cash from you when you've just been fired .  Yeah, this'll be like an endless sleepover.  Yay.

Brigitte complains to Natalia about not getting her an appointment.  Natalia tells her again that it's not the right time, but Brigitte's bratty whining and insistence that it's better to get in early on new projects wins her over.  They start looking over some sketches and Natalia makes edits.  She thinks one dress would look good with just one shoulder…"That's called an asymmetric neckline, or a 'Diana.'"  Eff that!  Natalia ditches the change and says to leave it strapless.

Diana doesn't even make it out of the cab before she's telling Karina what an idiot Diego is and how this is all Natalia's fault.  Andres' ears perk up.  Karina pays him and then tells Diana to quit blaming everybody else…it's her fault for screwing around with Oliverio.

Alonso checks Vicente out and says he's fine.  "Told you so!"  He says it was just a bit of a shock finding out his daughter-in-law was being all ho-ish.  He asks the boys to leave and turn the lights out.

Diana complains about what a crappy job Diego did of packing her bag.  She demands hangers and closet space, but Karina doesn't have either.  "You can have the second drawer."  "I can't believe you know what I'm going through and you're not helping me!"  "I'm letting you move in.  What more do you want?  I did just get fired, remember!"  Diana complains about there being no food in the house except cereal and milk.  She decides to call their friend, Sofia, whose divorce lawyer is supposed to be a total beast.  "Le sacó hasta la risa a su ex-marido!"  (He even took the laughter out of her ex!)  Karina gets her the number.

Andres thinks it would be too much of a coincidence that her Natalia is his Natalia, but then again…she mentioned Caprico and that's where Natalia works.  "Oh, no, Natalia!  Not a married man!  Not you!"  Excuse me?  You heard that pathetic excuse for a human being's phone conversation and you're going to believe HER?!  And you don't own Natalia, got it?  I don't care how long you've known her, there is no "calling dibs"!  Don't make me send you back out to sea, Andres, 'cause I'll do it!

Alonso gets the details about Diana's expulsion from the house.  Diego tells Alonso about visiting Rodrigo.  *drink*  Alonso, like Irene, tells him not to get his hopes up.  Irene comes into the study and apologizes to Alonso for not being able to talk to him earlier.  Diego leaves so they can talk.  "I just wanted to tell you that I can't be your therapist anymore."  Cara de desilusión de Irene.  Alonso says he's not the right person for the job because he has too much affection for her.  He says the argument they had earlier about Tad really opened his eyes to that.  Irene asks him to please not push her away because of an argument.  Alonso moans that he knew this would happen and this is why you're not supposed to accept your friends as patients.  He says he'll recommend her to someone else.  Irene says she's made so much progress with him and asks him to please think it over.  Alonso says he has.  Irene agrees to see another therapist, as long as she gets to keep him as a friend.  "You're the only friend I have and I can't live without that."

Diego tells Lala to get rid of EVERYTHING of Diana's.  Throw it out.  Throw out the towels, the sheets, everything.  Lala rushes to carry out his orders as Diego rushes to beat himself up for not knowing what was going on.

Irene keeps pleading her case for whey they should keep being friends and refuses to believe it was all just transference.  "You know what?  Now that I think about it, I don't want you to be my doctor, either.  I'd rather you be my friend."  A warm, squishy, friendly hug with the possibility of turning into something more is interrupted by Diego.  Hey, man, just because your name comes first in the credits doesn’t mean you get to ruin it for everybody else!

Carmen looks at her baby daddy pictures and says that even if she combined them all, she couldn't get one good man out of them.  "That's my luck.  If only one of them could have been like Eleazar."  But none of them were good enough.  She realizes the tickets from the movies are gone.  "He must have taken them when he got the luggage tags!  No way!  That's an invasion of privacy!"  Uh-oh!  I don't know what she thinks she's going to do about it at this time of night, but she means business!

Eleazar is having a nightmare about bills.  I've been there, man.  I've been there.  Then Lupita asks him for ice cream, Brigitte asks him to tell Paolo to give back her cell phone, Natalia comes home and says Diego stood her up again, both the boys ask him for money, and Carmen serves him two twin boys with his scruffy face on a silver platter.  He wakes up screaming.  You should be so lucky, El.

Karina can't sleep with Diana snoring and flailing about and stealing the covers…and kicking her out of the bed.  Karina grabs a blanket and heads for the couch.

Eleazar tries to get back to sleep, but he can't quit thinking about his nightmare.  "Aw, heck…for her, I'd support a dozen kids."  Carmen calls him and asks him about the tickets.  "Me?  What tickets?  What are you talking about?"  He asks her why they were in her box of treasured keepsakes.  "Um, because…I really liked the movie.  What else could it be?"  "Forget it."  Carmen apologizes for calling him so late and invites him to dinner.  Eleazar pulls the tickets out of a drawer and says they're better off with him.  "They mean something to me, not just a horror movie."  Yeah, man, you just cuddle those tickets, why don’t'cha.  If you don't get a move on that's all you'll be cuddling!

The next morning, the lawyer comes over to see Diana.  She's treating Karina like a servant in her own house, but whatever.  Diana tells the lawyer about the divorce.  She admits to being pregnant and the lawyer says that's great.  "He made a big mistake throwing you out.  I think we can take advantage of that.  I'll tell you up front that I get 30% of whatever we get out of him."

Rosa comes back to the house.  She and Irene are glad to see each other.  Rosa tells Irene that she just can't resist Vicente's offer.  Irene is thrilled that Rosa will be keeping an eye on her dad.  "You know me.  I'll take care of my boss even if he doesn't want it!"

Andres shows up outside Caprico to accuse Natalia of dating a married man.  Diego drives up and tries to defend Natalia from Andres, and Andres invokes the specter of "what you did to her," causing Natalia to drag Andres off to have words with him.  *drink*  Diego now assumes Natalia's "seeing him again."  Will someone please line up all the men on this show so I can more easily kick them in the shins?  Andres demands to know why Natalia never told him that Diego wasn't dead.  "How was I supposed to know where to find you?!"  Andres reminds her that they both fled Tuxpan because of him.  "And now I come back and find out you're rolling around in the hay with him!" ("revolcando" rolling).  Natalia denies having anything to do with Diego, but since Andres puts more faith in what he overheard Diana saying last night, Natalia has to explain that Diego kicked his wife out because she was cheating on him.

Vicente is happy to have Rosa back on board at Caprico.  She's going to head to the office and get right to work.  Vicente gives her a list of things to do.  ROSA carries a pad and a pen, unlike SOME people!  Irene makes a "not so much work!" face at Rosa, so Rosa claims she needs to ease back in slowly and has enough of a list already.  Rosa and Irene head downstairs and Irene offers Rosa a ride to Caprico, since she's going to meet with Diego anyway.

Natalia then has to explain how much Diego has done for the family.  She says Diego lost his memory, so he has no idea what he did and he's never treated her that way again.  Andres thinks that's bull, or Diego wouldn't have remembered him or been angry with him.  "You met him before!  And he thought you and I ran off together, so of course he was angry."  Andres isn't buying her reasoning.  He calls her naïve and accuses her of being in love with him.  "Ok, fine.  I am."

Diego fumes about how Natalia lied to him and is still seeing Andres.  Alberto brings over the new divorce papers and reminds Diego that Diana has to have the DNA test done before he files them.  "Well, I don't know when I'm going to get to ask her to do that since I kicked her out of the house last night."  Alberto tells him that was a stupid move.  Whatever, Diego's too busy being pissy about the assumed relationship between Natalia and Andres.  Alberto tells him to quit torturing himself and just ask her about it.  "Well, she didn't want to tell me anything."  Alberto says just because Diana's a despicable human being doesn't mean ALL women are.  Diego calms down…slightly…and says he's upset right now, so he'll talk to Natalia later.  They don't have any good ideas about how to force Diana to (a) take the DNA test and (b) get honest results.  Alberto will try to meet with her and see what he can do.

Natalia says she won't do anything while he's still married, but once he's divorced all bets are off.  Andres keeps whining and complaining about how she's not the girl she used to be.  Natalia asks him to please just stay out of her business and reminds him for the millionth time that she is NOT interested in him as anything but a friend.  That reminder's probably worth a *drink*.

Monday: Andres is back, and he's ready to play; Diana is on the warpath; and who cares, because...Carmen-Eleazar smoochies!

Labels: te-quiero