Tuesday, January 13, 2015

La Gata #95 1/13/15 A Rainbow of Stupid

1. Many thanks to Eli, Diva and Anon for the inspiration
2. The only action getting recapped is whatever fits into the theme. We can all clarify and add in the comments.

Seeing Red
Garabato is pissed. His parents were murdered and he was left a dumpster baby. It's all La Gata's fault. Her parents must die....or her parents must be left without a child. We've all said it before-La Gata was a baby. How is it her fault?

Little White Lies
More like big whoppers, but I'm working an angle here.
Augie conveniently gets back his ability to talk and tells Esme and Pablo that Lorenza is lying about her illness just so Eseme will care for him. Later Augie is back to thought bubbling so I'm particularly annoyed by this. Proof positive that the writers just do whatever the hell they want. Logic, story and quality be damned.

Later in the episode Lo tells another lie. She spills the beans to Esme about the paternity suit (stretched over two scenes...it took forever.) Lo says Pablo came to her full of doubt thanks to this latest event. Could it be that the children aren't Pablo's?


The Devil in a Blue Dress
More like a bad magenta hair tint but whatever.
Gisela swears to Esme that she is sorry for all the harm she's done. Esme doesn't believe her and assumes it's a ruse to try and get her guard down. Smart. Gi swears she's not faking. (This is a classic mean girl trap.) Gi tells Esme she's taking Pabobo's paintings to Europe and will sell them all. Esme feels bad for Europe. Gi will do a lot of damage.

Don't believe Gi for a minute. She and Lo talked on the phone later and were tickled pink over the paternity suit.

Greenbacks
Someone is paying Juan Garza a lot of money. Again, we just get man-hands and a white phone. Juan Garza assures the Man-hand that he knows what he's doing. He's got a personal reason for doing this as well. And he said something about double checking some things with the "hermandad" (siblinghood or brotherhood or sisterhood) QTH? Juan also asks the Man-hand if everything is taken care of to prove he's the father.

Red Light District
Jarocha decides to be a detective of ill-repute and visit Juan Garza to see if she remembers him from the barrio. While she's there, she has a memory of an early episode when Tilico escaped and she tried to keep Esme and Centavito safely hidden. Back at Fer's she is inexplicably unable to recall exactly who he is. *eyeroll* Why do I watch this shit?

Little Black Book
Technically it was maroon. Angle people. I'm workin' it like Maite works them eyes.
While at Juan Garza's Jarocha finds and swipes a little maroon book. She takes it back to Fer and the detective. It's full of code names and stuff. The detective decides Juan Garza is a con man. In the same notebook they find Juan Garza's notes about the MN family.

Yellow-dog Contract
Mariano has gotten Pablo out of the contract. He tells Pablo to not sign anything any more. High fives and bro hugs.

Lady Sings the Blues
Augie rambles about Blanca and how much he loved her. Everyone loved her. I admittedly didn't pay close attention so maybe I missed why Esme got so angry, but she was pissed. Augie can't talk about her momma!

Little Gray Cells
Juan Garza and his lawyer call a meeting with Pablo and Mariano. No, they still aren't calling or telling Esme. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Juan Garza has brought the DNA results. Because that's completely above board and there is NO way those are tampered with or fake. It will totally hold up in a court of law. Pablo looks like he's really straining his brain trying to read them.

Previous: Episode 94
Next: Episode 96

Labels:


Comments:
Wow. I actually kind of enjoyed writing this recap. My deepest thanks again to Eli, Kat and Anon (and really everyone on the patio.)
 

Thanks so much Sara! I loved the titles and the headings.

It's a miracle! Augie can speak!

What happened to Pablo? He was there when Augie spoke. Then we went to a commercial break. When we returned to the show Pablo was gone. Huh?

Too bad Esme isn't believing Augie when he tells her that Lorenza is faking.

Esme was pissed with Augie because he made it seemed that Blanca would throw herself at every man and enjoyed doing so.

Well, at least now Esme knows what is going on. It's about time she found out about it.

I hope Jarocha can recognize who Juan Garza really is. Perhaps she needs to hear him whistle to jog her memory.

Now we have a fake DNA test...sigh!

 

Girl, work them colors! Gracias, Sara!

What a load of WTF!

I was actually excited to see what kind of fit Gi would throw once she found out she can't take Pablo's paintings anywhere. I snorted at the way she was talking about taking the paintings to Europe and not come back until she sold them all...like she was going to go knocking on doors saying, "Pardonnez moi! Voulez vouz de crappy painting?"

I totally missed the deets of Juan's phone conversation. Maybe I'll go back and listen again. Having the English captions on, actually makes things worse for my comprehension--I spend more time fussing that that isn't how *I* would have translated it and how things aren't spelled correctly and how slow it's running. That's my excuse for not paying attention, anyway.
 

And don't you know that the fake DNA test that wasn't verified by anyone is going to be treated like the gospel truth?

Ughsofrustrating.
 

Diva I am dying laughing with your French scenario!
 

Right? Just because the guy has a piece of paper and the test was done by a reputable lab doesn't mean that...

-The "Juan" standing in front of them is the person whose DNA was submitted.
-The babies his DNA allegedly matches are actually Esme's babies.

But they all act like it's ironclad. Frankly, I don't think the judge would accept these results without his (because it's never a woman) own office/personnel/chosen lab supervising the process. In the absence of that, the paper is meaningless.
 

Thank you Sara!

Damn. Just damn.
 

Thanks, Sara and brilliant commenters.

I wouldn't have minded hearing a few more details about Mariano's victory with the contract. What, exactly, made it possible for him to get Pabobo free? What did Gi overlook? No, Mariano just sticks in his thumb, pulls out a plum, and says "What a good boy am I!"

I was enjoying the mute version of Augie. As noted, too bad they wouldn't believe him when he told them "da truth."

Augie was insulting to Blanca in describing her as a slutty manipulator of men. Esme was justified at being angry. Too bad she didn't think through that it was a ploy on Augie's part.

Is Gi doing product placement for a glasses frame manufacturer? Why aren't we told a brand name so we can look as fabulous as she does? On her trip to France, maybe people will turn down the paintings, but say they would love to know where she bought her glasses?

So will Tilico/Juan have a mother/child reunion with Rita? (He is Rita's son, isn't he?} I wish I cared enough about Garabato to cheer for his future.
 

Sara, Technicolor from a black & white, zenith, portable TV

"Gi swears she's not faking. (This is a classic mean girl trap.)"

So. I'm in Lowes at the self check out and got a can of real shinny gold spray paint (not the stuff that is baby poop brown/green) for a little crafty thingie to occupy my time. I scan the can and before I can put it in the bag some alarm goes off. A young woman comes up and asks me if I'm over 18, huh? Seems they are afraid I may tag some building or huff the stuff to get high and they want to make sure I'm 18 before I do it. Well, where I'm going with this is, we likely are getting a story about a wanna be street artist, rich kid, and a dumpster waif high on paint, tripping, she be a princess. The writers, having no experience in either street art or gettin high are trying to come up with as close an approximation to both for the uninitiated. No, I'm not high on paint.
 

You know, I have really low standards when it comes to Telenovelas. I'll watch almost anything. I'm not picky. But this is bad. Sparse sets. Ridiculous dialogue. Non-existent plot. No romance. Crappy shoes. Boring wardrobe.
 

I think they paid both Danny and Maite way too much and had little budget left. Also think when one of the lesser players deliver stellar performances they remove them or write weird into them. The only characters seemly left untouched are Virginia, Carlos and Jarocha, Jarocha being my favorite by a mile. Look what they did to Mariano, to Damien. Now a front and center character, Juan, looks like a ferret. This thing has the look and feel of a very bad B movie.
 

I'm a big chicken when it comes to thinking that I can even come close to the stellar performances of our highly gifted recappers and I SOOO admire the talent and stick-to-it-ness they have demonstrated with this one. Having said that, I believe I could have been a recrapper (not RECAPPER) on this tn these last (more than few) episodes by simply using one word: HUHHHH?????
 

Yes!!! There have been plenty of episodes where I've just wanted to say "Nothing made sense. Discuss."


 

PS: You are probably a fantastic recapper, Anon11:24. You never know until you try. And Caray is a great crowd.
 

Thank you for continuing to give us brilliant recaps in these dark times!

I've started watching Amorcito Corazon online and about 30+ episodes in. If Daniel Arenas brought just 25% of Willy's charm and 50% of his doofiness to Pablo, I could understand his bad choices and Esme's continued love for him. Plus, it would be 100 times more enjoyable to watch.
 

And dammit, Willy dressed better.

I'm so tired of Pablo's wardrobe and those dopey tennis shoes.


 

Thanks, Sara. Love the way you keep on keeping on, and in such style, too. I can see you poor recappers manning the walls at the Alamo, or operating a machine gun on Wake Island, or....

I've come up with a four step program for getting over watching one of these episodes:

Drink 4 double shots of tequila.

Take 3 aspirin.

Watch 2 hours of the science channel.

Take 1 hot shower.

David
 

Thank you one more time Sara--I mean it, thank you.

Having said that, now to say this.
I'm loosing it. I mean that I really liked the beginning when sweet loveable Gata was growing up in the dump, and finding young Pablo as her childhood friend. Mean momma Rita making her work and all that, what was then going on. But now??? Like all of you I can't keep up with all of this nonsense. She's moving in, she's moving out. She loves him, she's not so sure. She's married, not anymore. Pablo's the father, no he isn't. I'll forgive everyone once, twice three times--no, let's go for four times. OMG!!! In
CI, I could stretch it, really stretch it but here, I've stretched it so far that it's already broken.

Sorry to disappoint you David. I will go way/much farther than most but even the gringo has his limits.

The painting contract was mentioned. I too would like to know how Mariano got Pablo out of
it. Where was the loophole?

La Diva---Yes we are pretty angry over this one but we can still have fun together. As to my question from yesterday---why does everyone hate Esme, she's kind and loving to everyone, even to those who don't like her? Your answer of inhaling too much Eau de
Protagonista was a riot
the gringo
 

That was Rainbow Brite Sara. Thank you!

Exactly how did Juan Garza get a hold of the twins' DNA for testing purposes? No court order, no access to the twins. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
 

Yeah. I'm really wondering why this one is so stunningly bad.

I'm showing CCEA in class and the kids are eating it up. It is the edited DVD version, but I can stil tell a little more thought went into sets and dialogue (we are only on the first of 3 discs and things might still go south.)

CI was bad for what, the last month? La Gata feels like it's been dragging since Gi arrived. They could have told this tale in 80 episodes. We all know that the day of the 80 TN is over. Hell, the day of the 100 episode TN is over.

Like folks said yesterday. This is like rice. Boring. Even when they try to be dramatic, it's just stupid and so obvious that they are just dragging things out for the sake of dragging it out.
 

Damn. LN, I hadn't even thought of that. And of course, Mariano and Pablo are not going to bring up the fact that the babies didn't submit to any tests.

stupid.stupid.stupid.
 

David-I like your 4 step program!

gringo-If you are growing weary, then things are really bad on the patio.

Shall we plan the party for the FIN?

David, can you provide the booze?

I think I'll put in a big order of nerfazos(™). I bet we'll need them. So help me if that wedding dress is ugly...
 

Can't we just have the Televisa menagerie (snakes, monkeys, junkyard dogs, wolves and fat rats) sneak into LaToodl-oo's office and chew up the rest of the script? Then have the cast ad-lib the rest of the show ... couldn't hurt. Principe can direct.
 

That's a brilliant idea.
 

Re: the stupid contract. The process for getting out of that sounds as twisted as what Juan Ferret is doing now. Mariano makes it sound like he went to a judge and said "Dude...this contract is bogus!" and the judge said "Huh. Let me look at it and I'll get back to you." And then he calls Mariano days or weeks later and says "Dude, this contract is totally bogus! You're right! Tell your bro he can ignore it." No contact with Gi, no trial, no hearings. Just like this ridiculous paternity fight...Esme's the only parent of those babies, but naw, we don't need to talk to her. Sure, Don Fernando, you can agree to take responsibility on her behalf, even though she's an adult, that's cool. And if there is a "trial" it's going to look like Fernando and Augie's trial, with people screaming at each other, impassioned speeches standing in for actual evidence, and a grumpy judge who will make the decision based on all that hoopla, without bothering to request any actual evidence.

tofie, just don't inhale!

Thank you for the treatment advice, David! Did you submit that to the Journal of Telenovela Medicine? I hear that have an upcoming issue on viewer maladies. It's sponsored by Televisa, so there's only room for about a page and a half of actual journal and the rest will be ad content. The cover photo will be a rude hand gesture by Latoodle herself.

pobre de gringo! Mr. 5ft asked me last night "Do we even know why this guy hates Esmeralda?" I told him that he hasn't said why out loud, but even when he does, it's not going to be a reason that makes any sense. I think having her grow up in the dump screwed them up--they couldn't use the convenient excuse of "She has everything I want/should have!" Girl had nothing! Almost makes me want to see the original version so I'll know what it is they're messing with.
 

Lol, Carvivlie, at least Willie was a lovable dope! I could forgive Esme a lot more if she were being all stupid over Willie Boy. Pablo has no personality.
 

Oh eff it, my next recap will be only one word "Huuuuh", like Tina from Bobs Burgers!

Thank you for the recap, thanks to it I don't have to watch the episode, are you ladies.gents still watching? I just read the recaps because there's no way I'm sitting through this unless I really have to.
 

Diva-Word. To all of it. Especially "Do we even know why this guy hates Esmeralda?" ... it's not going to be a reason that makes any sense. And that's what makes me so frustrated. I understand that when I'm watching a TN a have to suspend a certain amount of disbelief, but they can't even come up with a plausible reason why everyone hates Esme with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.
 

Eli-And we would all understand if you did that!

I swear this is the hardest show I've ever recapped (and I haven't recapped a lot, so maybe I don't know real pain.)


 

Diva- you hit the nail on the head, Pablo has no personality, and neither does Esmeralda. Who in their right mind would willingly help the man that sent her father to jail for 20 years and who was responsible for her mother going cray? What the hell you guys, what the hell?!
 

You know the blasts of air in a can that you can buy to blast the dirt and dust off of equipment and various different things? Well I can bring to the patio party several cases of blast off to help blast this thing up to the
stratosphere. Hopefully high enough so that it never (sorry Maite) comes back again.
the gringo
 

Sara-this is real pain!
 

I will still watch Maite. But I will NEVER watch a Latoodle show again.
 

PS: I'm pretty sure I will never watch Dan again, either.

Eli-And I can't even figure out why it is so hard to recap. I enjoy recapping, but there is no joy in this show. Soooo keeping my fingers crossed for the next show.

Diva-you asked earlier, but I think you are right about promos. When I first started watching Uni (STuD), they were promoing TdA at least 4 weeks before. We haven't seen or heard anything about what's next. I guess they will wait until the last minute.

I actually wonder if they will move QTPD to the Gata slot if they don't like the ratings (like they did with MPV.) They can't edit because it's airing here first.
 

Sara, I think we have so much trouble with this novela because all the issues could be resolved with just a little bit of work and instead they make mountains out of molehills and there's really no one for us to cheer for or hate. I don't hate the Lorenza character or Agustin, they are just evil, grumpy people. Give me an Isadora any day!
 

Suspension of disbelief can only get you so far. Even when a show/movie takes place in an alternate universe or on another planet or in some setting that's very different from "the real world" it's STILL not as difficult to believe as some of this schlock. It's just very lazy, very sloppy...I can feel the contempt for the viewer seeping through and it makes me cranky.

Maybe I can write Maite's next show. In it, she'll be a feisty actress out for revenge on the producer who keeps trying to tank her career. Of course, I'll write myself into it as well, as her sidekick who infiltrates the writers' room and scribbles cryptic but brilliant plot ideas on the whiteboard, edits their stale dialogue, and completely erases the electronic copies of the worst scripts. I'll be posing as Maite's "assistant" and her leading man will totally have the hots for me, but I'll resist because I can't respect a guy who has built his entire career on playing a total assclown. The dramatic climax will come when Maite shows up at a board meeting and reveals that she was behind the success of the latest show and has been slowly buying up controlling interest in the studio. She'll fire The Evil Producer and her husband and usher in a new golden age of telenovelas. When they flash "Fin" on the screen, the final shot will be Maite in a kick-ass business suit, feet up on the conference table, showing a tasteful, but still tantalizing, amount of leg.
 

"...and there's really no one for us to cheer for or hate.

OMG yes. I am so "meh" on all of it. I like a show that makes me talk to the television. All I want to do when this is on is play Candy Crush. Blergh. Boring.

Diva-You come up with so many amazing stories. I'm still wishing they would make a detective show with Lupita and Marcelo. Now I'll add Maite's new show to the list.
 

I won't watch anything with Dan in it again. Maite hasn't won me over, neither, so she's on probation.

Notice, when they play the theme song with the montage, for the last month or so, twice it shows Pablo feeding Esmeralda when at first it didn't, nor did we see him attempt till he tried to sit her down at table and Lorenza ran her out. Somebody must have heard bitching.
 

It looked like a little picnic lunch on the hill pre-makeover. Did that actually happen and I just blocked it out?
 

I don't think it happened
 

Maybe it's a future shot. Then end up without enough money for hair products, but they've finally learned to share sammiches.
 

Diva---It's a fabulous script. I'd have a front row seat on the couch to watch it. 100% better than La Gata.
the gringo

 

Hi and my greetings to everybody!! :-)

Just wanted to drop a line to say how much I'm loving (as always) the wit, snark, and sparkle from all you recappers and commenters on here. Alas, I am-and-have-been unable to contribute much of anything myself because I'm back in Nicaragua now and they're on a TOTALLY different schedule than everybody up there, and I can't post anything as I don't want to inadvertently (probably as a result of a mixture of frustration and rage.. yes, I'm with you all there) reveal any spoilers.

As it stands down here, now, 'La Gata' (at 2 PM) is having it's last episode tomorrow (we had 'The Road to the Gran Final' today), and it's spot on Monday is going to be taken by 'Yo No Creo En Los Hombres'), which I'm excited about. Immediately following 'La Gata' (at 3 pm), we had 'El Color de la Pasion' (terrific, BTW!), which had IT'S last episode TODAY, and it's place is going to be taken TOMORROW by 'La Mujer en el Espejo' (for reasons which no one seems to know). Now, I don't know if this could help any of you all try and figure out what they've got in store for you in the near future but, well, there it is...
 

Another thing I have to say is that you all have my DEEPEST condolences- you're not NEARLY through with this one yet, and I shudder to think of what lay ahead for you all. Interestingly, however, is the fact that down here in Nicaragua 'La Gata' is by far and away everybody's favorite (who was it that said that one can never go wrong by appealing to the lowest common denominator??) Seriously though, any and every business here on the island that had a t.v. was tuned in to 'La Gata' today, and that's what ALL employees and passers-by were engaged in. Likewise, the bars on the main drag here were as full of customers wanting to catch the Gata action today ('action' being, of course, a euphemism in the extreme) as they are for any big football/soccer game.

My only fear is that somehow the Telenovela Powers That Be will become aware of this sort of display, perhaps if (God forbid) feelings towards 'La Gata' are similarly high in other countries whose TV waves it is presently sullying... as I think that we can all agree on (God knows) is that the LAST thing that we want to do is to have LaToodly-Doo feel encouraged to go at it again...

Anyways, my best wishes to you all, and thanks again for providing me wish some wit, wisdom, smiles, and even the odd belly laugh. :-)
 

Thanks, Stevey! I hoping we get more hints soon about what's coming next. That's interesting to hear about how it's doing in Nicaragua. It must be speaking to them in some way I don't get :)
 

Post a Comment



<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older

© Caray, Caray! 2006-2022. Duplication of this material for use on any other site is strictly prohibited.

Protected by Copyscape Online Plagiarism Finder