Caray, Caray!

México, D.F. (Not to be confused with Los Angeles, California, EEUU)

Complete idiot's guide to elusive thief catching FOR DUMMIES!

Dark is the night and visibility is low in this kind of costumes, so The Shady shadow knocks Ricardo down like a piñata. Before he runs away, he says something like, ''Sorry Ricardo, me duele la panza'' (it's hard to understand with that mask on). Of course the first thought that comes to Ricardo's mind is his ''beloved'' Esperanza, and the chase is on. People running in a black costume out of halloween season is probably something you see every day in Mexico, since nobody seems to pay attention.

  

Nearby, muy oronda, unbeknown to her of the danger she is in, Esperanza nibbles on a croissant before getting home. The day was long and she is hungry, so why wait? The smell of freshly baked bread takes her to the streets of Paris and suddenly Ricky Le mime shows up right in front of her yielding a gun. He almost runs her over and both face what he thinks is his nemesis, but turns out is only a dummy. They fell in the trap, because in one of the apartments on the second floor, The shady villain have all the time in the world to take the perfect picture with his gigantic zoom lens. Where does he keep it? Is he renting that place? Isn't easier to carry the Samsung Galaxy S6 and get the same high quality in low light and even moving pics?? He is so bad I am sure part of his vendetta against Ricardo is to post them on Kracy's Facelook wall, just to see the sucking lemon face she does.

After this incident with the mannequin and the gun, Esperanza is perplex and Ricardo is forced to confess part of his secret a cuentagotas (in dribs and drabs). Even when she has been begging since the beginning that she need explanations, she doesn't get the whole enchilada. Ricardo only does what he does best, promises, promises...

Al país que fueres haz lo que vieres
You're in México now, so speak mexican! When in a restaurant in Mexico, don't eat pizza with your fingers. Show you are from the first world and use utensils and Valentina picante sauce. Little Roddy needs some cheese for his whine though, because that citrus punch is too tangy. He hates Mexico and everything mexican. That's why, when Ricardo calls Kracy to see if the shadow has not kidnapped them yet, he cries and says he want to go back to ''eley''. Sombrita is more interested in Esperanza (who is not, right? To the back of the line please! Right after Félix!) than in the crazy gringa and the brats so everything is fine on this end. Pass the peas! Thanks little virgin!

Grandmere Marguerite has decorated Krista's room with vintage posters of MDO, Flans and Spice girls. Pedro is there confessing the red headed girl that he actually likes Ara. Esperanza, who appeared very cool during the whole dummy thing, now, right about opening the door, shakes like a leaf and almost drops her keys. To make her more scared, Pedro jumps by her side out of nowhere. Probably thanks to Ricardo's love advice, Pedro has found love with Arachnida and just told Kris. Ara is Pato's best friend. Cool, now all 6 of them can swing. From the web! He is so happy that doesn't quite understand his mother nervousness. 

Inside, Luca asks Pato if she would be able to follow him to Hard bar. Wait a minute, wait a minute! She could be both extrovert and traditional, a teenager and a woman, with doubts and solutions, with mistakes and virtues, soft as a seagull but aggressive as a lioness, quiet and peaceful but at the same time irreverent and revolutionary, happy and sad, idealistic and dreamer, submissive by gender but independent by choice, but you still need to put a ring on it. Hello? 

And right in the middle of the transaction still showing Luca the finger, for the ring, that is, Esperanza and son show up and not knowing what to do, Esperanza offers everybody something to eat. They were going to eat mustard sandwiches, but since Luca is staying and he is accustomed to the finest cold cuts, they will add bologna. 

She is so nervous that she could sprinkle sugar on churros, but then she is assaulted by a black and white flashback reminding her that Ricardo is hiding something very big from her. No, is not his burrito. Is something he has been promising to tell her for the last 15 episodes and we still don't see clear.

Since they don't smoke yet, there's nothing like like a chat about romance between brothers after dinner. Luca gives advice to Pedro, who shouldn't be misleading Ara if he is really not that interested, women are not objects, you know.

It's friday and the Guerrero women watch a movie while Pedro bends his beak and falls asleep. Not that the movie is not good, it is that he is exhausted and later on will have to go to work. For a midnight snack, Esperanza has prepared for him, pollo asado in a tupper.

We are the champions my friend

After Ricardo takes Rodrigo to bed gives him a walkie talkie so he can call him in case the shadow shows up in his dreams, in real life, or both. He needs to sleep tight, like the champion he is for coming to Mexico. Father and son make a pact of taking care of each other. Suddenly, Ricardo receives a text  message from Triana Fonseca. Everything is secured on the perimeter. Ricardo make even more promises to help him speak better spanish with Esperanza, even if she hasn't agreed to do it yet. Virgen de la Paz ampáranos.

Guaranteed ot your money back

Viviana plays Celestina, bringing Ana Esthesia Limantour (chozna of la nena Limantour from EHDLS) to entrap Luca again, even when she betrayed him in the past. Viviana, who think everybody is a piece of her human chess game, asked her to come over, and she even payed her, to help her take Patricia out of the way. After all, what is an ugly duckling compared to someone educated, refined and cultivated? And who has been IN ITALY, for God's sake!! For Ana, this is a challenge worth trying and gives Vivian her money back just to prove how ''in love'' she is of the marionette puppet face superboy we know as Luca and that she will do him, I mean, it for free. Are you sure? Keep the money and buy yourself a white bra, please.
When Ernesto gets home, he is surprised to see them together and don't like it.
Right after the transaction, Viviana flashbacks to the time her son and this woman were an item and faints, causing Ernesto to blame it on the artichoke pills she is using to lose weight. Please don't ventilate my personal things when we have company, dear...

If Ricardo is the best agent, how would the others be?

Due to the great amount of failures, Ricardo is scolded by his boss Sr. BuenosBancos. If he continues to endanger everybody in the pursue of La sombra, he could lose his job or even be taken to court. Showing your gun and not using it deserves a severe punishment. We all want to know whats going on with Reecherd, don't we?

It's friday and Adrian has finished homework, so it's time to turn the Xbox 360 on and kill some dragons in first person. That until his father shows up all angry because I am your father and I say so, but the boy gets saved by the bell when a phone call proves more important than getting to know and understand your son. Anyway, if something goes wrong with him, you can always blame it on the videogames, right?

Seems like Adrián just can't catch a break, and after father leaves, Luca comes in. No se puede chiflar y comer pinole, so they try to talk during playtime but can not do any of the two things right.
We don't know who called Ernie, but is somebody from Eley...

Naborita, both the grandmother of Krista and the penguin, I mean, Salma, offers her a ride to 

a) make sure her granddaughter arrives to work safely, 

b) make sure the club is all that and 

c) make sure there are cute male specimens to have a ''taco de ojo'' (eye candy). 

She puts on her green gloves and like Penelope Glamour (looking more like muttley) gives Krista the pink helmet and off they go in the motorcycle with sidecar driving at 20 mph, who cares, there's more time than life... They will get there, eventually.

And when they finally do, saber-tooth cougar granny start licking her lips first when she sees Erasmo, and then everybody else there. Wait until she sees Erasmo taking his birdbaths at the construction site!! Her dentures will drop!!

Attack of the clones

Meanwhile, below the Interpol headquarters, where I am sure la Sombra (with his huge skull ring) has his hideout and NOBODY WILL EVER NOTICE!, an army of shadow clones work overtime to process all the pics they took from Esperanza and Ricardo. If they put them together and flip them, they could make a movie! I am sure they were hired because they can also type 90 words a minute, with boxing gloves!! No wonder even the FBI can not catch up with them!

In the three stooges house, lit by numerous candles, Adán watches a video they made on the beach while Nacho gets ready for a date with Begonia. Suddenly, they hear a scream. Could it be a Manatí pariendo (sea cow giving birth)? No! Puerquirio has fleas and they jump to Nacho too. Bummer! If only Nacho had credit on his cell phone, but alas, he has none. They all need help pronto! Quick, lets all run and bother Esperanza (she never has anything important to do anyway) and ask for her phone and some flea medicine! Mujer prevenida vale por dos, she had both the Trifexis and the little rag. Now Nacho's heart  won't have worms, right? 

Moe, Shemp, Larry and LarryCardo
Ricardo should be in the stooges team, in case Larry has to be replaced.
Begonia, bloated with red wine and bread, can not wait a minute longer and when he finally calls to apologize is too late! He has lost HIS LAST CHANCE and she leaves, apparently, without paying and/or leaving tip.

These trío of useless morons got to Esperanza's house right when she was about to know the real truth from Ricardo's lips. Talk about timing! This was ''La hora de la verdad'' and now we will never know what's going on for another 10 good episodes (if we're lucky). She was calling him ''professional liar'' and told him that Kracy might not be too crazy after all, because she warned her about some spying thing. Esperanza confesses too, saying that he ''le movió el tapete'', but now is all over, because she feels betrayed one more time. Secrets and confessions are cut short with the three dumb men. Now they call him ''puerquirio'' and not ''porquirio''.

The woman who knew too little
Seeing the parallels between Nacho's prickly relationship and theirs, Esperanza starts throwing some ''hints'' (indirectas) so Ricardo knows what she's thinking. The obnoxious trío make fun of them, so Esperanza tells them that the theme today is ''disappointment''.

Once Esperanza and Ricardo are alone again, naturally, they resume their chain of apologies and once the trust is restored, Ricardo tells her that he has drawings made in a piece of paper with the letterhead (papel membretado) of Palacios Institute, so being Pamela the main suspect, Isaac Rey, her father, aka Maximiliano Izaguirre, could be the famous sombra. But once the fear is gone and with all the information that could get her killed, Esperanza offers Ricardo coffee, tea, and he takes the first. Right after the first sip and still without being able to add sugar, Ricardo gets a call from Rodrigo, who is having nightmares. Go see him, Esperanza urges him, after all he is your son and I have been waiting for you only 20 years!
-Don't worry, he's been having those nightmares very often through the past year, since la sombra tried to kill me! -Oh, no! Not another of your stories! Ok, you can tell me all about it later...

If this is the best club, i cannot imagine how the rest would be!
Back in the antro the same ten people we see every time, dance and pretend they have a good time with the horrific music. As you can see, Pedro got this job on his looks only, because when he is not blacking out, he is kissing Ara or asking for drinks. Dating is forbidden here and everywhere else, but they do it anyway so Krista, granny and the manager can see them! Krista, more subtle, communicates with Erasmo via gestures, so people think she's drinking kiwi  extrasour martini.

At the same time, we see Ernesto sending somebody a plane so he can come visit. Uyy! Mystery!
In the same house, but in another room, Luca,who is still here and not in Hard-Bar, have a meeting with Ana. He rejects her, she insists, it's all push-n-pull (estira y afloja).

After Ricardo leaves, Mapa finds Pato in her room thinking about Luca's proposition while browsing his pictures on Socialbook, that now is Facelook. I wonder if Tweeter is now cheaper and snapshot is just nachos. Anyway she got a text message through the ''distance mazinger'' from daddy who insists on getting closer. Mapa and Pato enjoy a salty ice cream while she cries her eyes out claiming that she doesn't know Ricardo anymore.

Meanwhile, in the house of the Joy, all is sadness because Rodrigo had a quesadilla, you mean pesadilla? Nooo, I ate a quesadilla before going to bed! OK, that was a bad joke. To make him feel safer, his little sister and Dad stay with him for the night. Alegría hug! Isn't Roddy too young to have a deadpool doll in the bookcase?

Finally, we get to see Mr Rey's house. Paulo Rey tells his faher that giganta (his sister nickname I suppose), or Pamela's teacher, Ricardo, along with his teacher Esperanza, are ''dying'' to meet him. Good, they certainly will! I will take care of that with pleasure, Juar juar!!

After such a long friday (and we only got the last hours of it) is finally Saturday morning and is breakfast time for everybody!

In the Guerrero household we see the women teasing Pedro with Matterhorn style pancakes (pancakes stacked with banana slices between them and the whole can of whipped cream on top), while the poor boy has to settle with a green juice with oats and probably soy milk 1.5%. Let's see who gets the last laugh when all of them start going blind or feeling prickly down there...

The Alegrías keep the tradition with crepes suzettes and Kracy isolated eating by herself, while Viviana enjoys another green juice that beautifies her already glowing skin and trims her hips, Green eggs and Ham for Silvana, and bolillos with butter for the Gallos. What a surprise, I was hoping they would eat bran!

Anyhow, In one of the longest breakfasts on television, it is Monday and they're sitting at the table still eating!!...

Viviana suffocates Adrián with kisses and hugs while Luca gets none. Nothing for you, because you look like an old monkey. Maybe you're not sleeping well... do you need a little of anaesthesia? She asks for a silver tray to look at herself while complaining that Ernesto is suffering the 40's crisis. No wonder this woman thinks she is wrinkled! The only thing this tray do is distort her image. Nevertheless, she still thinks she looks like a MILF.
-Eww! Mom!! -It's true! I do!! I am a militant islamic of the liberation front! What did you think you dirty boys?

La distancia entre los dos es cada vez mas grande
Since the warriors didn't have time to eat, they are already on the bus going to school. Pedro is dozing while Esperanza and Pato try to outdo each other with their love stories. I tell you, I don't know Ricardo anymore... Really? well, I don't know Luca anymore more tan you don't know Ricardo anymore!

Speaking of the devil, the Alebrijes get to school too, so do Krista and her granny, who is just returning from her year long vacation (año sabático) and after lecturing Krista about jealousy and how well she spot it, as soon as she sees Félix, her eyes turn into heart emoticons and says: Ken, here's your Barbie doll! Donde pongo el ojo pongo la bala (eyes on the target).

Inside the Palacios Institute, aka from cradle to grave for whole families, it's Kracy's first day of school, and she is instructed to handle in a ''very special'' way Esperanza's kids, because she will be their teacher. I don't know how they count the grades, but Pedro can not be in 6° and Pato in 5°. Sixth grade of what? There should be three levels split in 6, 3 and 3, so if Pedro is in ''Prepa'' is this his last year? How can Pato be on 5th grade of ''secundaria? AARGGGH! Damn Osorio messing up my beautiful mind! I give up!

Ay nanita, que miedo
Surprise! Esperanza gets her death orchid and she exclaims, Virgen santa, Ricardos friend Amelio, from Prepa, is sending me black orchids too? What did he accomplish now? Oh, y ahora, quien podrá defenderme! Yo, SuperLuca!

Surprise #2: Ernesto gets in the car with the mysterious man who he just flew in, and that I think is a sicario, to kill Ricardo of course. In the most painful way possible!!