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Ah the joys of villana-imposed parenthood! |
At a glance
-- When lies, blackmail, guilt and murder all fail to heal heartache and lovesickness, one must turn to Lala’s delightful range of dairy delectables for comfort! Because a gassy stomach will always distract you from a broken heart!
A closer look
Cristina crosses paths with Óscar, her abusive ex-hubby, at the shopping mall. He is going up the stairless escalator, rocking his signature salt-n-pepper quirky quiff. She is coming down the stairless escalator, slaying that nude-colored dress whose plasticky fabric hugged, nay, suffocated, her pneumatic curves. She sees Óscar’s face clearly (we don’t), recognizes him immediately and runs after him. When she finally catches up to him, it turns out he is some other dude. Two questions boggle and perplex the viewers at this point:
1) Doesn’t this cheap TV ploy work only if the chaser sees the chasee from behind and mistakes him/her for someone else, as opposed to seeing the person’s face and recognizing it without the shadow of a doubt? Maybe the supremely-tight dress is cutting off oxygen supply to Cristina’s brain and causing hallucinations?
2) Are there that many guys in Mexico City who willingly put a dead skunk on top of their head and walk around with it in broad daylight, as if nothing?
At Casa Alegría, Detective Gilberto Rentería takes Ricardo’s statement and expresses his bewilderment at the assassination attempt the ex-Interpol agent has just escaped. Using a poisonous amphibian as murder weapon? It seems almost like a joke, says Rentería. Ricardo doesn’t see the humor in this. Instead of giving the detective his full cooperation, he gives him attitude: “Do something instead of writing stuff down!” Bah! What do you know about good police work, you supreme loser?
Cristina visits Nueva Luz to vent to Irene about her encounter with Óscar’s doppelgänger at the mall. She feels that she is losing her mind without her daughter. Had she known things would come to this, she would never have reported Óscar to the police for aggravated assault. Irene tries to calm Cristina down, because her squeaky voice becomes squeakier when she gets animated and Irene is ready to start wincing any second now.
Salma tries to reconcile with Kiko but he is playing hard to get. She confesses that she came to visit him at his physiotherapy session because she didn’t want to lose him. She lies beside him on the mat where he does his exercises. He tells her that chasing what you don’t want to lose can get tiring, eventually. He sees her like a purple butterfly: Too pretty, too fluttery, too volatile, too slutty. Salma admits he is right in his analogy but she assures him that, no matter where and how long she flutters away, she will always come back to him and, someday, she might even remain still. She just needs time, that’s all. “Let us allow things to flow between us and see what happens”, she suggests. I wish I were making this up, but Kiko gives her a lascivious look and licks his chops. It’s the kind of look you’d give a roasted ham after you’ve been stranded on a deserted island for 2 months, with nothing to eat but bugs and leaves. Estrella, Margarita and Erasmo are sitting nearby, admiring the lovebirds (tórtolos). Margarita declares that love is the most wonderful thing in this life! “If you are no use at loving, you are no use at living”. Erasmo enquires whether Margarita is in love nowadays. Yes, indeedio, and madly so, with the love of her life: Her Bigotitos, her mustached beau,... who is now a stay-at-home gigolo! Seriously, when was the last time we saw Félix del Pozo meander around the halls of Instituto Palacios, on his golden hoverboard?
Back at Casa Alegría, Ricardo recounts all the kraciness that Kracy committed ever since they broke up, including the latest two attempted murders. Rentería is convinced that Kracy will try to kill Ricardo again.
Sure enough, Kracy is pacing her hotel room and repeating obsessively that she will kill Ricardo soon. “I will kill you! I want you dead!”, she threatens as she points her gun at an imaginary target.
Salma wants Kiko to take things slowly, especially considering the current state of their respective healths. He has a grueling physiotherapy schedule to complete and she has an unwanted bun in the oven to deliver; so they can’t be alone right now, even if they wanted to (Alone for what? Eh? For what?). Kiko asks what she intends to do with the baby. Salma says she’ll have to notify Adrián first, but she “decided” to give birth to the poor little bastard then give him/her up for adoption. Margarita, one of the people who bullied Salma into making this “decision”, felt bound to interject that they’ll ask around for the best orphanage (casa hogar) to receive the baby. Poor kid! “What if you grow fond of (encariñarse con) the child after he/she is born?” wonders Kiko. Salma is lost in thought.
At the constructora, Luca briefs his dad about the baby situation. Luca doesn’t trust Anastasia one bit: She could’ve easily invented this whole masquerade. He texts her to let her know that they have an appointment tomorrow afternoon at the lab for the DNA test. Ernesto spots Pato’s engagement and fidelity rings on Luca’s desk. Luca informs his father that his two children have broken off their engagement. They idealized each other too much, that’s why their romance fizzled.
At Casa Guerrero, Pato cries in her mother’s arms and admits: “You were right, Mapa! I idealized him! He is not a superhero!” You don't say! “We don’t know each other very well”, says Luca to his dad. “We don’t know each other at all!”, says Pato to her mom. “I love her so much but I understand her. She is going through the toughest time in her life”, concedes Luca. “I love him but it’s better this way”, sighs Pato. Split screen of the split-up PatoLuca pair. Sadfaces all around, accompanied by the sad violin version of the PatoLuca love theme.
The next morning, Viviana consoles Luca while Eufrosina, the housekeeper, serves him his favorite snack (antojo): Something green topped with a slab of pan-seared halloumi-like Lala cheese. The packaging is conveniently placed in the center of the table, in case any of you are interested in purchasing this delicious-looking dairy delight. Nothing cures love pains like Eufro’s cuisine and Lala cheese! Luca and Vivi take a bite and savor it with an exaggerated Hmmm!
At Instituto Palacios, Esperanza informs her pupils that she is going on leave. They act like she has just announced that she’s moving to Kuala Lumpur. Esperanza also notifies them that Cristina will be subbing for her over the next two weeks. The kids call Cristina La Bruja/The Witch but Esperanza defends her. Can we move past this bruja nonsense, already?
At her brand-new office, in her brand-new job, Cristina yells hysterically over the phone at the private eye she hired to find her lost kid. Something tells me he's not doing a good job. Ricardo hears a hysterical woman screeching alone in a room, so he does what any man in his right mind would do: He barges in on her and asks what’s up. Ricardo says he knows what it feels like to suffer for one’s kids. Cristina’s desperation and bombalicious assets moved him deeply and he wants to help her. He is well aware that the two of them started on the wrong foot but he insists they have a do-over. He would like her to let him help her. Help meee help youuu! Rico Suave murmurs softly: “Sometimes all we need is a hug, to realize that we are not alone”. He then shoots her his sexy revolver look that gets every unsuspecting woman right between the eyes, thus impeding her from seeing his true pathetic nature. Their feet shuffle slowly towards each other. They get closer and closer. I swear whoever is directing this show has a foot fetish! Not that there is anything wrong with that. First the feet-on-the-bed routine and the knee-bumping foreplay in Acapulco, then this! Cristina and Ricardo hug in slo-mo. When she breaks off the hug and sees his smile, she takes it for mockery. He assures her that it was just a friendly smile. He doesn't know what happened to her but he knows it’s got to do with her daughter, Abril. He is happy to help her in any way he can. He tells her about his ex-wife kidnapping his kids and how out of control and desperate he felt during that ordeal. Cristina is so desperate to locate her missing daughter that she, once again, rejects the help of someone who could get her to the daughter she so longs to find. She tells Ricardo thanks but no thanks: “I don’t need anything from you!”
Esperanza’s pupils are still making a big deal of her going on a two-week vacation. “You won’t go away forever, will you?”, asks Salma. “You brighten our days”, says Virgilio. Their words bring tears to Esperanza’s eyes. I understand her emotional response but the kids' reaction is over-the-top.
Pato informs Aranza that she canceled her engagement. She laments that Luca didn’t do anything to prevent it. He allowed her to take off her rings, he didn’t chase her, he didn’t contact her later, he didn’t beg her to come back to him... Don’t you love it when self-centered people pull these kinds of stunts, as a desperate cry for attention, and nobody gives them the time of day? Tee hee hee. Aranza points out that Pato’s behavior is also partly responsible for her current predicament.
At the constructora, Anastasia shows up with baby Luca, who they have atrociously dubbed Luquita. Naming such an adorable baby boy Luquita has got to count as child abuse! Anastasia says she needs to take the baby to the pediatrician, whose appointment just happens to be scheduled at the same time as the DNA test. She assures Luca that the kid is his and that she gave birth to him at the Roman Hospital in Italy. How very specific, indeed! She spots Pato’s engagement rings and grabs them without Luca noticing. She pretends she is going to the ladies’ room (tocador). She hands the wee tot to Luca and mentions that she bought the baby a pacifier (chupón), in case he starts crying. Toodles!
Back at Instituto Palacios, Ricardo bumps into Esperanza and quizzes her about her leave of absence. Is she off starting tomorrow? Is she traveling with Ernesto? How long will she be gone? Yes, yes and two weeks are Esperanza’s answers to Ricardo jealous questions. Ricardo sarcastically wishes her a good trip and says that it’ll do him good to not have to see her for two whole weeks. Esperanza is hurt by his mean comment but she feels that it is better to have him think she and Ernesto are going together on a romantic getaway. That way he can forget her and move on faster. You poor deluded woman! He’s gotten over you before he could even grow a decent 5-day stubble! He didn’t spend a minute in sweatpants over the pain of losing you, Esperancita! He didn’t drink a single shot of any liquor, he didn’t eat a single slice of greasy pepperoni pizza and he didn’t shove a single spoonful of ice-cream down his piehole over your breakup!
Ernesto instructs Murillo to whack Kracy and make it look like a suicide. Murillo refuses. Ernesto manhandles him. Murillo agrees.
Ricardo teaches his class and reminisces about the hug he shared with Cristina earlier. As if his fantasy invoked her, she walks in to evaluate his teaching. She sits at the back of the class, but Pamela had put a whoopee cushion on her chair. Cristina is outraged at the lack of discipline and feels that she has seen enough to deliver her assessment of Ricardo’s work. She storms off in a huff. Ricardo reprimands Pamela for getting him into trouble. A bad evaluation from Cristina will surely get him fired. Pamela apologizes and promises to fix things.
Margarita uses Kristel’s mini-hunger strike to emotionally blackmail Pedro: “I don’t want to blackmail you but Kristel hasn’t eaten in 3 days!” I don't care, lady! Come back when she hasn’t eaten in 40!
In Cristina’s office, Esperanza and Cristina agree over the curriculum that will need to be covered during Esperanza’s absence. Cristina points out that Esperanza’s request for a leave of absence is odd considering her impeccable attendance record. Is this how you reward her professionalism and near-perfect attendance? By guilt-tripping her about the one paid vacation she has in nearly two decades? Pamela enters and pleads Ricardo’s case, because he is “the best teacher in the world”! Pfff!
Margarita continues her attempt to guilt-trip Pedro. She is worried about her Kristel, whose love for Pedro is making her ill. Yeah, right! She's Saint Kristel, martyr of love. Here's hoping she croaks soon so we can promptly apply for her canonization! Pfff!
At the constructora, Luca is overwhelmed by work and baby Luca. Begoña tells him that the hospital in Italy won’t give confidential information about its patients without their prior consent, and understandably so. At long last, Luca notices that Pato’s rings are missing from his desk.
Anastasia shows up at Pato’s house wearing Pato’s rings. Pato flips out. Esperanza tries to calm her daughter down. “She is wearing my rings! MY rings!”, screeches an enraged Pato. Well, technically, “you gave them back to Luca yesterday”, points out Esperanza. Pato is so furious, she announces that she doesn't want anything to do with Luca, Anastasia, Luquita et al.
Ricardo visits Cristina’s office to reiterate his offer to help her find her missing daughter. He informs her that he is an ex-police officer, of the incompetent super-agent kind. This gets her attention. Didn’t she already know this detail when Irene suggested she enlist Ricardo’s help to encounter Abril? Did she think she was getting punk’d by Irene? Anyhoo. Ricardo tells Cristina, once again, how much he loves his kids, for whom he is a devoted father. He also emphasizes how much he enjoys carrying them in his bulging strong arms to play spaceship. He mentions that he rescued them from their crazy mother, who is totally out of the picture, by the way. Cristina invites him to a cup of coffee and he’ll surely put forth his breakfast-making skills as they drink it. She leaves the office to get the coffee. Ricardo takes a photo of Abril with his phone. I bet you anything that photo is getting sent to Baxter at the first opportunity, along with a request for yet another “favor”.
Back at the constructora, Luca is juggling the baby, the phone calls, the meetings and the nosiness of his subordinates (Bego and Mario), who want to know all about the baby and the breakup.
At Casa Guerrero, Pato apologizes for being so self-centered when she should be worried about her mom’s operation. She is hurt that she lost Luca. Esperanza thinks it’s too premature to talk about losing him. Pato enumerates all the things “he did”: his ex published a sex video of them (not his fault), she showed up with a baby she alleges is his (not his fault), she put on the engagement rings that Pato herself discarded (not his fault). Erasmo of the stellar timing, phones right at this moment. Pato answers rudely, thinking it’s La Nacha calling to gloat, but her tone softens when she finds out it's Erasmo. Esperanza looks on disapprovingly.
Still in Cristina’s office, that same forced love-hate crapola carries on. Ricardo's line: “You haven’t replied: Will you accept my help?” Cristina's line: “I love my kid more than anything. Do you think I’ll reject help, no matter from whom it comes?” Ricardo's lines. Cristina's lines. Why won’t you let me help you? What do you want in return? Do people who help you always demand something in return? I don’t like asking people for favors. Do you feel I have something perverse in mind just because I offered to help you? Well, you’re a man and men always pursue some perverse endgame. Not all men are like that. Sorry, but I had a bad experience with a man once. Cristina starts insulting Ricardo again, for no reason whatsoever: “I know what I dislike about you! It’s your air of self-sufficiency!” Cristina feels Ricardo is condescending. She claims he speaks to her like he speaks to his kids. Except that Cristina has never met Rodrigo, she has only been introduced to Selena in the hallway a few minutes earlier and she has never seen Ricardo interact with his kids to have any idea of how he speaks to them. Anyhoo. Ricardo assures her that he tries to use the most neutral tone possible when addressing her. He sighs as he says this, exhausted from having to work so hard at convincing someone he barely knows of letting him do her a favor. Instead of analyzing tones and things she dislikes about him, Ricardo suggests they talk about Abril. He wants to help Cristina find her daughter. “There goes that tone again!”, complains squeaky Cristina. Girl, byeee! Ricardo doesn’t run away from this psycho, like any sane person would: “I want to find Abril because I too have kids and because I have dedicated my life to doing justice”. He offers Cristina his unconditional help. Take it or leave it.
Pato tells Erasmo she is green, purple, black and every other color from pure rage. Erasmo says: “Let me guess: You fought with Luca!” “What do you eat that makes you such a good guesser?” she jokes (¿qué comes que adivinas?). He’s been orbiting you for weeks and you’ve been running your mouth about your intimate problems to him and anyone who would listen, any chance you get! That's what he eats! Erasmo offers to come to her house at night with tacos, quesadillas and a shoulder to cry on and/or punch.
Cristina briefs Ricardo about her kid. Her name is Abril Sousa Vélez, 6 years old, daughter of Óscar Sousa Villaurrutia, who kidnapped her a year ago. These are the new-ish details. The anonymous notes sent by Cristina’s ex-husband, the drowned girl in Aguascalientes, the recent phone call allegedly made by Abril and Cristina’s anguish over her daughter's safety, we already now. The same goes for Ricardo’s problems with Kracy, which have been rehashed to death in this episode. Moving on.
Anastasia returns to the constructora. Luca mildly reprimands her for stealing Pato's rings from his desk. Suddenly, as they argue over the baby, Luca has a Eureka moment. What if the baby is Ernesto’s and not his, since Anastasia was boinking father and son at the same time?
At Casa Manzanares, Salma gushes over Kiko to her father. Mario likes the Gallo boys; he could’ve had two sons-in-law from that family. He receives a text from Viviana. Salma says she is glad to see that her dad is happy in his new relationship. He kisses her goodbye to go get ready for his date, singing on his way to the shower. Silvana was spying and making faces during this father-daughter conversation.
Ernesto gives Murillo a suitcase filled with cash to help ease his conscience. He orders him to murder Kracy after forcing her to write her suicide note herself. Ernesto is sexy even when he orders a whacking: “Kracy must die tonight!” Dun-dun-duuun!
A quote from the capítulo
“Si no sirves para amar, no sirves para vivir.”*
*Margarita states that love is the most wonderful thing in this life: “If you are no use at loving, you are no use at living.”
Your viewing vocabulario
(these definitions are context-specific, unless otherwise indicated)
tórtolos = lovebirds.
casa hogar = an orphanage.
encariñarse con algo/alguien = to grow fond of, to take a liking to, to attach oneself to something/someone.
antojo = craving, food craving, snack. “Antojitos” are Mexican street food snacks.
el tocador = the ladies’ room, the powder room.
chupón = a baby pacifier.
¿qué comes que adivinas? = Lit. “What do you eat that makes you guess?”, i.e. how did you guess? How did you know?
Thank you for the pleasure of your company. Please join us again for the next capítulo. We’ll be saving you a seat!
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