Caray, Caray!

HIJAS #73 JUANA VICTORIA GOES TO THE HOOSEGOW

Part 1

Yep, definitely Ultimos Capitulos because all Hell is breaking loose. Dario continues to chew up the scenery with his fatherly grief; Leonora rises to the occasion and tries to protect Juana Victoria; and Sebastian plays detective in an effort to save his beloved.

Honestly, I could stop right there and you'd know all you need to know about this episode. And in only 3 lines! But I'll soldier on, just in case you want more.

Mauricio and his dad have some very heavy drama scenes as they conclude that Steffi is dead and her body must be somewhere in the environs. There's lots of screaming, clenched fists, raised voices, and desperate hugs. Sum total, Dario is so distraught at his daughter's presumed death, he wants to die himself. But first vengeance! After a lot of emoting, he decides to pack a gun and drive around town. When he spots Juana Victoria strolling along in her zombie state, he jumps out, confronts her and prepares to shoot. Once again, we get an unfortunate closeup of Michelle's huge teeth and gums as she screams to high heaven. The cops who were following her close in and save her from death. Much to Dario's ire. But what can ya do? She's the heroine. You know she'll be with us until el fin. Dario's not happy though. We get a head shot (no more, thank goodness) of him in the shower later, muttering "malditos infelices" [damned bastards]

In the meantime, the sexy, high-heeled inspector is playing it tough, interrogating Sebastian as to why he married a woman with severe mental problems. And why he's hiding the fact that he and Juana Victoria are not related, but are having a love affair. Mighty suspicious!

Also suspicious is Adela's stated "I came back because I was missing my family soooo much!" Turns out, thanks to Leonora's clever method of getting her to talk [tirar de la lengua] she spills the beans that she was SENT back, having been picked up by ICE. And dumped in Mexico without a penny in her pocket or even lunch! So she hightailed it to Mazatlán hoping to find shelter with husband Todoelmundo. Later though, she solidifies her position with TeM by offering to babysit Mundito while Dad attends Juana Barbara's latest boxing match. The latter, by the way, is officially Fernando's novia, thanks to a "cursi" [sentimental, gushy] painting which says WILL YOU BE MY NOVIA? in great big adorable letters. "Claro!! [of course!] Lots of hugs and kisses. (These two kiss well, by the way. Some actors just combine effectively, and I must say these two unlikely partners are clicking when it comes to the make-out scenes.)

Juana Barbara dispatches her opponent handily with a knockout punch and is so chuffed, she's ready to take on the national champion of Mexico. Bring 'er on! But first some more hot kisses with new novio Fernando.

Back at the Blue House, the police have arrived with an order to bring in Juana Victoria to get fingerprints. Leonora amazes everybody by stationing herself at the door, pearls and all, declaring "Take her in!?...Over my dead body!!!
 

HIJAS #73 JUANA VICTORIA GOES TO THE HOOSEGOW

Part 2

Leo's not kidding. She threatens to give the officer the old One Two Punch her boxing coach taught her, if they mistreat "her" Juana Victoria. The police are rather unmoved by this threat, and take Vicky off to the police station over the protests of all assembled.

Vicky continues to resist giving her fingerprints because after all, she'll swear on her mother's life that she's innocent! Again the police are unimpressed and proceed with getting her prints and returning her to the main office. The sexy inspector decides to interrogate the lovers together. "I know you're not half-sibs and that you're in love. You got together [ coludieron..verb "coludir"] to bump off Estefania, right? Seb looks thoughtfully worried. Juana Victoria looks dopey. But Sebastian goes on to explain how his family fell into debt after the hurricane and how that led eventually to signing the pre-nup with Dario to marry his daughter, in exchange for a million dollars. At that point an officer comes in with the results of the fingerprints on the kitchen knife found under the carpet in Steffi's car. Vicky looks hopeful. Until she learns the fingerprints are HERS!!! Then she promptly faints. "Quit faking", snaps the inspector. "We'll hold you in jail for 48 hours while we investigate further. But I'm sure you killed Estefania, and Sebastian is the 'autor intellectual' (the brains behind the crime)."

Maybe so, but Seb is still free as a bird and he vows to participate in the search for Steffi's body. First we see him wandering around the underbrush with the police; then when they suspend that search he goes to the Newlywed House, breaks the crime tape and goes in to search for evidence. And finds it. In a toilet tank. But don't ask me what it is. Looks like some kind of tubing.

Anyway, he hightails it back to the police station, confronts the lady inspector and shouts "Estefania is alive!

And that's "el fin".

Now there were some other random scenes. The Juanas fretting together about whether or not Juana Victoria could be guilty. Juana Inés visiting Mauricio at the mansion to
console him and getting yelled at by Dario. Teresa advising Todoelmundo to go slow on confronting Adela concerning her lies about her reasons for returning. And a tender scene where we see the latter curled up asleep with Mundito in his wee bed.

But y'know, basically you had what you needed in the first three lines. Sometimes Reader's Digest is the best way to go.
 

HIJAS

JudyB- thank you! I've only watched the first half so far and your assessment is spot on. Three sentences cover it.

Dario is guilty of overacting, His "distraught" scenes were so campy that I laughed. Really. Felt like I was watching Dateline.

Leo was my favorite today. I love that blue dress.

So the DNA of the blood in Stef's car was hers, she must have cut herself pretty good to do that. She is loco anyway and probably didn't feel a thing.
 

HIJAS

Judy, I'm beginning to think you have mystical powers. Once again you've revived and rejuvenated "dead" dialog with cleverness and wit. As I've mentioned before - this subject matter does not merit your talent.

Are any of these characters warm and fuzzy? It seems the dear, departed Petunia was but the rest? Nopis.

"getting her to talk [tirar de la lengua", "chuffed" and "'autor intellectual'" were my favorites.

"We get a head shot (no more, thank goodness) of him in the shower later, muttering "malditos infelices" [damned bastards]"had me smiling and relieved I was spared seeing that!

Well the end is near and I'm happy for you, doris and Anita. True champions. All.

Diana
 

HIJAS

" And (Seb) finds it. In a toilet tank. But don't ask me what it is. Looks like some kind of tubing.
Anyway, he hightails it back to the police station, confronts the lady inspector and shouts "Estefania is alive!"

Maybe it was her curling iron? ;-) Must see TV.
 

HIJAS

I need to get a life. Have been wracking my brain since yesterday over what Sebastian pulled out of the toilet tank. LOL It's a sad day in telenovelalandia when I look forward to a episode of HIJAS. 🙄. Any other theories?
 

HIJAS

DORIS...Just give thanks that "for once! you're looking forward to an episode!"

I thought the tubing looked like the kind you use for oxygen. Actually what I can't figure out, if the blood in the car was Steffi's, and the cops said nobody could lose that much blood and still live...then how could she still be alive? Because clearly she is. So....

Anyway, this is keeping us off the streets and out of trouble with the law. All good.
And I'm so very, very grateful for your help on this. You've been and are a godsend.

DIANA...Thanks for always checking in and making us recappers feel that "we're not a voice crying in the wilderness". And not just talking to ourselves either (although I do that now.)
 

HIJAS

JudyB this was so fun. Thann uoh much.
Leo is funnier than ever now that she had fallen in love with the Jaunas.
I can just amagine the look o her funny face declaring full body protect
-ion of her jaunas, but she needs to come clean about debs paternity. It'll
Be a blow, but think of the happiness
After? Right?

I knew would set her up when I saw her put that knife on the baggy in her bag
Purse thingy. I wonder where she's hiding.

Popa Dario has created a princita monster. And he is probly kicking his
Self too. He'll get his.

Thanks JudyB. On to the next Juana
Adventure.
 

HIJAS

Good to hear from you Ms. NINA. Gets a bit lonely in these here parts. But I agree, Leonora is great fun now that she's made her peace with the Juanas. And good thing, because she's going to need some good will when her own little sidestep comes to light.
 

HIJAS #74 -- STEFY IS ALIVE!

Another condensed version with what you need to know. I’m traveling light, as Rick Steves would say. I don't think I left out any important stuff. The Adela plot got resolved and took up a fair amount of this episode. (I call plot "filler"!!!)

Bring on the Por Fin! Scenes & some plot themes are condensed.

So, obvio I did not watch the 2nd half of yesterday’s show. NOT a curling iron. Gah. Turns out the tubing is some sort of catheter for extracting blood. Well I don't look when donating blood to the Red Cross, but it looked authentic to me. Seb shows it to the detective who says he could have bought that thing anywhere. Besides, they found 3 liters of blood; nobody survives that. (seriously, that did not look like 3 liters of blood in the back of Stefy’s car, but, whatevs.)

Mundito ditched playing soccer with Adela to accompany TEM to Teresa’s house. At Tere’s, Mundito asks her if it is wrong that he loves her more than he loves Adela. Awww, this whole plot thing seems like a nice PSA on good parenting on the part of TEM and Tere.

TEM returns from Tere’s sans Mundito and Adela has a hissy fit. She goes all Lifetime on him about her rights, etc. (she doesn’t think she gave those up nine years ago???)
TEM points out to the hussy that SHE is the one who left 9 years ago and now she talks about her parental rights? And the only reason she has come back is because her boyfriend in the U.S. put the horns to her, she was deported, she does not love him (TEM), and she is flat broke with nowhere to go.
(Yes!!! TEM tells it like it is)
Adela asks TEM to help her, she doesn’t have a penny to her name. ( Gotta give the girl credit for staying the course.)

Later, Teresa tells TEM he really should help her out. Human kindness and all that.

Adela’s scumbag boyfriend calls her and asks her to come back. He apologizes for his adulterous affair. He’ll even send her money for a coyote (I think that’s what he said). IDK but seems like it’s more difficult to cross the border these days without a passport, but what do I know? Next thing we know, she is all packed with her 13-Gal Kitchen trash bag and mucho crying, saying good bye to Mundito.

Near the end of the episode --- After Adela departs for Chicago, Mundito asks TEM why did his mom come, just to turn around and leave so soon after? TEM asks him ‘would he rather to have not seem her at all?’ Mundito says he is glad he got to know her but he will miss her. A nice scene, good parenting. Yay TEM!

And he is still married to that hussy. Maybe he'll never be able to marry Teresa.

( Lots of talk in today's episode about Victoria going to jail. Soon. Right after the judge finds her guilty. Like it's a done deal.
Laws must be different in Mexico, or else Telenovelaland?
We had a local woman disappear, they found her car (but no blood anywhere) and never found a body. Ever. I don't think her husband ever spent time in jail, or much time. Ten years later they had the trial and he was convicted. You can search "Janet March" in Wikipedia for the deets. Wow, I can't believe the trial was 14 years ago. Seems like yesterday. Anyway, seems like Victoria is being railroaded into jail without enough time to prove she is guilty. I reeeally need to find my telenovela beanie hat.)
 

HIJAS --- #74 STEFY IS ALIVE! (Part 2 of 2)

Sebastian goes to visit Victoria in jail. The usual schmoopy schmoopy crapola ensues, and what takes the cake is when Vic says to him “Eres mi Héroe, bombón.” Ew. Spare us. I could have left this part out of the recrap, but everyone needs a good eye roll. Again.

Leo goes to visit Victoria at the jail, they’re acting all palsy-walsy. Our ever-compassionate Vic asks Leo to please go check Dario. He must be a wreck over the news his daughter is dead. Leo’s not sure that is a good idea, but our compassionate Vic insists. Leo does, later in the episode. She tells Dario they believe Stefy faked her death. More OTT bad acting by Dario in his grief.

Dario gives Richardo (the henchman) some cash to bribe any prisoner in the jail to kill Victoria once she arrives in the jail. Nice guy.

Juan hires a very expensive lawyer to defend Juana Victoria. Juan muses about how Dario might react if he knew his (Dario’s) money was being spent to defend the woman accused of killing his daughter.

Sol has another vision, the big snake wrapped around the shoulders of the hooded stranger, except this time the hood is removed and it is Stefy. Screaming ensues. GBT (great brain trust) Sebastian says this is proof Stefy is alive. Um…. okaaayyyyy?

Sol shows Leo pics of Stefy as she was getting dressed for the wedding. In the background, Leo spots a book she recognizes. She had lent it to Stefy. It’s a novel about a woman who frames her husband for murder by drawing bits of blood over time so there is too much for anyone to survive if it had all been taken out at once. This proves Stefy is alive! (now these people are making some sense)

Juan-O and Sebastian go looking for Stefy. In one major telenovela beanie hat scene, they show a picture of Stefy to the guy at the front desk. Nope, he has not seen her. Sebastian says, well, she has a scar on her cheek. Oh! Right! says the clerk, I remember her! (I mean, really? How dumb does Televisa thing their viewers are? Oops, do not answer that question. I'm actually watching this thing so I have no defense.)

They finally track Stefy down to a small hotel in the small town. Sebastian confirms she has checked into a room. Juan’s back pain has been getting worse as the day goes on, and they are right outside her window, down on the sidewalk. She knows they’re close!
Sebastian tricks the desk clerk and sees which room she is in. He goes up there, door is wide open (and that makes no sense). Stefy is hiding in the closet. Sebastian walks over to look at her phone and Stefy whacks him unconscious with a metal bucket.


The End. Y'all have a good weekend!

VOCABULARIO – because it is STILL all about learning Spanish. Punto.

“desabrida” --- tasteless, insipid, bland. As in “Adela’s boyfriend threw her over for some gringa ‘desabrida”.
 

HIJAS

doris, the episode sounds like a juvenile game of hide and seek.

The recap however had me laughing away. "She goes all Lifetime on him" was my favorite followed by "The usual schmoopy schmoopy crapola ensues".

So Steffi is alive. Do I dare ask if anyone cares?? Is she redeemable? I've seen many far fetched instances where last minute salvation has occurred but even a beanie wouldn't help me believe it in this case. Hell, I'm not even watching this! :)

Sounds like Leo will come out of this - detestable Dario, not so much.

As in “Adela’s boyfriend threw her over for some gringa ‘desabrida”. What a way to end doris. I always enjoy your recaps, fast, funny and fabulous.

Diana
 

UPCOMING SHOWS

Looking ahead on my cable TV guide, there is no telenovela immediately following HIJAS. The guide does not look at the following week, yet.
 

HIJAS

DORIS! thanks so much, not only for subbing, but for writing a recap that was so much fun to read. Loved "traveling light" for your abridged version of the events, and always love "goes all Lifetime on....." That is the perfect funny from our pal NINA, and it cracks me up anytime someone uses it.

Another fave was:

I could have left this part out of the recrap, but everyone needs a good eyeroll. Again.

Also GBT (Great Brain Trust) Sebastian. That's right up there with ANDY's Babyface for our galan.

And most of all, because it really really is all about the Spanish for me, thanks for introducing me to a new word "desabrida". For some reason I just assumed it meant crazy. But no, it means "bland, boring". Good thing I never used it in coversation!

Hoping you're right and we get a week's vacation before the next telenovela. I think we're all due for some deep rest from this stuff.
 

HIJAS

JudyB, I must apologize...I think. I could have sworn I have posted a comment to thank you for your recap, but when I scroll back, I cannot find it! Maybe the cyber monster ate it? Anywhoo, thank you for being such a courageous and determined soldier and treating us to such a delightful Thursday recap. ITA that your first three lines pretty much summoned up the inane episode, but I do appreciate the added details filled with your unique snark.

Doris, thanks for subbing for JudyB. Your recaps are just as delightful as Judy's and I always look forward to reading them.

My favs--

"GBT (great brain trust) Sebastian says this is proof Stefy is alive. Um…. okaaayyyyy?" My reaction exactly!

"She goes all Lifetime on him about her rights, etc. (she doesn’t think she gave those up nine years ago???) DITO!! I too enjoy the Lifetime reference initiated by Nina..it should be in the Caray Thesaurus :-)

"More OTT bad acting by Dario in his grief." I keep looking for tears, there a none!

OT- I wrote the recrap for "Ringo" last night and was very tempted to title it " The Spinning Wheels on 'Hijas' Have Arrived!" Such an annoying waste of air time, but it was the first..and hopeofully the last!

 

HIJAS

Doris, I checked my guide too and found the same--no TN, just a double dose of "Como Dice el Dicho."
 

Doris, a fun read. This was suppose to
Be comedy or drama? Ah, a dramedy. It
Is more funny than dramatic.

I would love to see what's become of our litte cactus flower. More cactus than flower. She would fit in really good in lifetime movies,she has really
Flipped out to the tenth power(stefi).

What's going on with jaun's back pain?
That don't sound good. At all.

Is this the last week?
I vote that they bring a petunia 2.
Maybe petunia 1 had a sister who is also willing to let a weird human lady
Dress her in silly lookin hats and talk about what's going on her human life. In the laundry room.

Ok it's the weekend, and I'm binge watching The first new 2 episodes of Grey's anatomy. If you can call just 2
Episodes "binge watching". Lol:-) it's
Good to laugh at yourself sometimes.
And sometimes I crack me up. Well it's the dead of winter gotta do something
To keep the bordem down to slow lol.

Enjoy the weekend guys. Thanks Doris.
 

Is "COMO Dice el DICHO" THE SAME AS
"THE ROSE OF GUADALUPE"?
 

HIJAS

NiNa, you are hilarious. Yes, it’s good to laugh at yourself and we are so lucky to have you here because you always make us laugh too. You have a very unique and wonderful sense of humor...just love it!

“Como Dice el Dicho” and “La Rosa de Guadalupe” are both considered dramas but are not the same. In “Como Dice el Dicho,” each episode tells a story that represents a specific Spanish saying. In contrast, “La Rosa de Guadalupe” is a show where real life stories of people who have experienced a miracle after praying to the Virgen of Guadalupe are re-enacted.
 

You mean those are true stories on the
Rose of Guadalupe? Some of those can give lifetime a run for their money. There are some crazy people in those stories. And they actually did that crazy stuff. It's good they pray. Wow.

I'm glad I can make you guys smile and
Laugh. You're welcome:-) but y'all are good too. These are some of the funniest recaps I have ever read.
Keep em comin.