Caray, Caray!

"GUERRERO ":

Darcy: You're doing the recap of today's episode ?

Steve Boudreaux
 

Guerrero

No Steve, sorry, I will not be recapping today's episode. I have not had a chance to watch it yet and I have no time to recap today. Also, I am having a yard sale all weekend, starting first thing tomorrow morning and all day Saturday and Sunday so I will probably not be online much over the weekend! I will read and respond to O.S.'s recap of Friday's episode as soon as I can! Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!
 

Corazón Guerrero - Capítulo 95 - Part 1 of 3

Our show begins with Conchita and d. Abel planning for their wedding tomorrow. Conchita is worried Jesús will bring Carloca. The groom-to-be says neither Chucho nor Valero will be attending. Mica’s been so worried about the latter that she’s lost weight(!). The lovebirds debate where they will live. It’s unsettled.

Fede received pictures of his wife and his nephew…in a serious lip lock!

Conchita is prattling on, but Guada-lovelorn is miles away. She’s worried about her rushed marriage decision. Conchita knows what’s on her mind, and Lupe actually regurgitates Augi’s disgusting sales pitch from earlier. Later as she prays, he shows up saying he’s an idiot. Nobody on screen or the patio challenges this. She says go home to your wife. He asks, my perfect wife, and shares the pic of the cheaters. He (actually) says he deserves it for the way he’s treated Lupe. She shushes him and says she’s getting married. He begs her not to. She shuts him down and shuts the door!

Damián is tired of waiting for Jesús to come clean about his & Elisa’s pasts. He needs to know more and calls a hacker friend (probably not Peste). Together they go to work on hacking into Jesús’s laptop.

A pitiful Augi arrives home. Mica asks for the day off to attend the weddings because she knows Vic will turn her down flat. Augi grants permission then orders her to prepare the guest bedroom for him. From now on, that’s his new home. Mica rightfully assumes this marriage is over. She muses it’s funny how one marriage ends and 2 others start…

Lupe is walking down an aisle - looking divine and muy dream sequence-y. She approaches the altar and finds Augi. True love is declared. She jolts out of bed in a cold sweat. She tries to convince herself that tomorrow she’ll marry Ol’ Words Aplenty, and she’ll be happy!

It’s the next day! Fede is by himself at an undisclosed location. Augi shows up and asks if he wants to know why they’re there. Augi wants to talk alone without interruptions…or witnesses! Smack (with the left hand)!!! Fede is knocked to the ground. Augi knows that his nephew and wife are knocking boots. Augi is in full tantrum/vengeance mode.

Mica brings Vic her morning coffee. Vic wants to know why Augi hasn’t come home. He has. Mica explains their new sleeping arrangement.

Holy smokes! Lupe & Mari are glammed to the hilt. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop the dead horse dialogue from stinking up the action. First love. True love. Illusions. Blah. Villalba is looking very dapper, but we’re all tired of hearing Cyrano quotes and the rest of his palabrería!!! Augusto gave us that gem the other day, and it’s the most eloquent thing he’s provided all series.
 

Corazón Guerrero - Capítulo 95 - Part 2 of 3

Augi has proof, and Fede should know exactly what happens to those who betray him. Fede will say NOTHING, continue being Vic’s lover, and find out what her attorney is up to OR he will die. Fede can only stare at the gun Augi has pointed in his face.

Rodrigo wants his car and is being a jerk to the family guard who won’t budge. He calls his mommy and finds out he’s grounded for doing the right thing with Gus. She has no time for him and hangs up in his face. Who knew being a jerk is genetic? His friends turn on him and tell him he’s ruined the whole party. Whomp. Whomp. …but like Renata, one can hardly feel sorry (or interested) for the plight of these snots.

Valero and d. Abel work on his defense. They will show that Valero never touched the money found in his bag.

Mica is looking like she’s going to 7 wakes instead of 2 weddings (Conchita’s words - LOL). Mica says it will be her wake when Vic finds out her box is missing. Conchita says they’ll work with Elisa and assures Mica that Elisa is a good woman. Meanwhile, Elisa is looking for Santiago all over town.

Augi wants Fede on the lookout for Elisa. Fede informs him that his horse has been brought from the farm. Augi wants the weddings’ address. It’s pretty clear where Augi will be riding.

Woah! Damián & Samu have read the info from Jesús’ laptop (offscreen). Why didn’t he tell them?!? He turns the tables and says they’ve already tried and convicted their own mother. Why would he share any more info? The report claims Elisa is the murderer because she left a baby there (scene of the crime?). Sam says he was the baby! Jesús says they need to hear her side of the story. Damián and Jesús both feel her nearby but they can’t explain it. Jesús says they must stay united and find Elisa. He tells his younger brothers to keep an open mind.

We get the flashback of Elisa talking to Victoriano and him urging her to find the clues in the heirloom box (like she told Vic in yesterday’s episode). Augi comes in with a precious toddler (Sam) and tells Elisa to think of what could have been if she’d chosen him instead of Octavio(!). She begs him to let Sam go. He can’t live with the uncertainty and here he makes the threat. If she doesn’t leave right now, her sons will be killed. Present Day Elisa opens the box.

Mari & Lupe agree to move forward and make the best of a marriage to Talker Maximus. Valero’s Reyna del Plumero con Peinado de Ídem enters. I almost didn’t recognize her. Wow! Mica has her hair down for the wedding! She looks delightful and spills the frijoles about the Ruíz Montalvos’ sleeping single in double beds. She all but hands Lupe a fork to stick in that marriage.

Elisa finds a cryptic letter! “He protects it. Not because it’s weak, but because it holds the truth. You will find it with its history and the power of its ancestors” Ok. Did Villalba write this gobbledygook? Neither Elisa nor this patio member know what the hell this clue means. She sobs and longs for Santiago.
 

Corazón Guerrero - Capítulo 95 - Part 3 of 3

Jesùs and d. Abel have a heart-to-whatever-is-in-Chucho’s-chest talk about him missing the wedding. They both know everybody is safer if he stays home with Carloca. They talk about Fede & their donation cover story. Then they discuss finding everlasting love and peace. This makes me real nervous.

A lone Rod is sulking by a tree at the Cherry Lawn School for Rich Nitwits. Emma and Renata and their posse happen upon him. Renata says jerk things. Emma is concerned.

The dance contest is in one hour. Adrian can’t believe he and Emma haven’t resolved their issues. He will go to Cherry Lawn, talk to Emma, and they’ll get back to where they once belonged. Belén says it’s a win-win. They get along better; they dance better. ONE HOUR!

Emma approaches Rod. He pours his heart and reveals the true source of all his jackassery. He’s lonely and only wants his parents to be proud of him. Emma goes all Villalba on him with teen and self-love soundbytes. He asks her to teach him how to be good. She agrees. His first assignment is to apologize to Renata for being a big, fat meanie.

Patricio is dreamy in his blue wedding suit. He and Mari should be standing on top of a cake. They are both beautiful. Their song swells, and bless her heart. She insists on keeping him in the Friend Zone. Nonetheless, they are happy and anxious for the nuptials.

Mica visits Valero in the clink, and they disturb all the other inmates with their loud declarations of his innocence. LOL. He says whenever he’s feeling down, he thinks of her pretty face….and then he turns around and has to look at his inmates. Egad! LOL. Inmates are not amused. She’s on the way to the wedding. She’s still worried about the missing box. She’s Elisa’s accomplice. Valero reacts to that name. She urges him to keep quiet.

Rod is now big man on campus - walking tall sandwiched between Emma and Renata. Guess what happens next! Adrián appears and whines about how easily he’s been replaced. A blistering run of teeny bopper dead horses ensues. Neither trusts the other. Their song swells as Emma decides it’s best if they break up for the 75th time. She exits stage left; Rod and Renata follow. Adrián and his stoopid earring are left standing alone.

Vic has tied one on and is passed out. Augi enters the room and looks across at the train wreck. We hear wedding speak (voiceover) about the true meaning of love.

The weddings continue with traditional wedding words. Villalba is visibly jealous that someone else got to deliver a paragraph of coherent dialog without interruption. Conchita and d. Abel are married first. Guada-listless is nervous; Villalba finally gets some words in and gives her an exit plan. Now it’s their turn. Out of nowhere Augi enters on horseback in full Zorro drag. He scoops Lupe up and rides off. Villalba screams then chases after them.

FIN
 

Guerrero
That ending is disturbing and weird. How am I supposed to feel sorry for Lupe when she plays that recording of I love Augusto but I shouldn't on a loop? Is this some kind of warning about being unhealthily in love with liars and cheaters?
I'm sick of Emma and Adrian. They could have hired better writers for this telenovela because it feels like watching a comdy that pretends not to be a comedy.
 

Guerrero. Yep, it's hard to believe that Guadalupe is still attracted to the evil Augi. "Guada-lovelorn"--love it! Also: "being a jerk is genetic.", "Talker Maximus," "School for Rich Nitwits." You are definitely in fine form today, O.S. Man, Fede gets a lot of physical (and well-deserved) abuse! We still don't know for sure that Santiago s dead. There have been miraculous "resurrections" before in telenovelas. Yep, Augi is dressed like Zorro. If I didn't know better, I'd say this novela was a parody (maybe just some writers who don't really believe in the genre?). I agree, Waterlily, it seems to be a comedy that pretends not to be a comedy.
 

Corazón Guerrero - Capítulo 96 - Part 1 of 2

Our show begins with Vic being a drunken mess. Fede is trying to intervene. On horseback, Zorro/Augi is declaring his love. Lupe is shocked when she pulls off his mask and finds out it’s Augusto (LOL). Villalba shows up at the manse to reclaim his love. He tells Vic that Augi stole his bride, and he has no right!

Augi and Lupe are at the finca(?), and he blames his kidnapping/Zorro drag on being a man truly in love. He blames his tomcatting on never replacing the true love of his life. He admits to many errors, and then Lupe finally plays her ace: how could he threaten an unborn child.

Vic laments and babbles and confesses (to Villalba) that Augi does what he does because he has a child with Lupe(!!!). He writes it off to drunken nonsense. She goes full Maury Povich and declares that Mari is Augi’s offspring. She even uses Carloca’s term of endearment ajolote in calling her out. It’s her wedding gift.

Augi blames his premarital threats on insecurity. Lupe isn’t so sure; she’s heard things about him…like he’s killed folks amongst other things. He blames haterz. She cites Vic’s accusation of inheritance thievery. He plays the “Everything I’ve done has been for my family” card. Long dead horses ensue.

Doménica and Mari are back at Casa Las García and talk about everything but the wedding debacle. Mari asks about her relationships with Samu & Damián. She’s harta with all their cover-ups. Mari reveals she and Jesús were about to get married when Carloca announced she was knocked up. A tsunami of dysfunction ensues. Jesús is working on the nursery, and Mari wishes her daddy had be been more present.

While working on the nursery, Jesús finds some cut up(?) baby clothes. Ruh oh. Carloca says it’s his fault for pissing her off. He wisely tries to get her to take her meds. He’s gently probing about her manic episodes. She’s looking forward to Iker Jr.’s movement and kicks.

Fede asks a cruda Vic why Villalba came over. She informs him of Augi’s Zorro antics. She’s hungover and incensed by all these humiliations. She want OUT before she goes crazy. As ordered. Fede slinks into her confidence so he can find out what she and her attorney are up to.

Augi tries to take Lupe down the finca memory lane. Her memories aren’t so sweet, and besides, he’s married. She almost blurts out she got pregnant by him, but recovers. He says he will give it all up for her. The absurdity peaks when he offers her 48 hours to think about it. She points out that her loved ones must be dying for updates on her whereabouts. He clutches her face and begs her to stay until she’s made a decision.
 

Corazón Guerrero - Capítulo 96 - Part 2 of 2

Televisa declares an all-out war on HIPAA with the next sequence. Jesús bursts into Dra. Vega’s colleague’s office. She proceeds to share full patient diagnoses, symptoms, and history. The doctor confirms Carloca could be a danger to her child; moreover, Augi and Cafloca are well aware of this!

Speaking of absurdity, Newly Single Emma and Olympic Vomiter Renata decide to do a switcheroo for a dance contest that was 1-hour overdue just one episode ago. Despite all Emma’s recent Mother Theresa-ness, Renata plans to sabotage the dance contest. I refuse to type any more of this contrived nonsense. It’s an insult to the patio.

Fede leaves Selena’s. An inexplicably dapper Samu follows suit. He follows him all the way to the club where Selena now has residency. The bouncer asks Sam to come back later yet early so he doesn’t miss the show.

Conchita prays for her daughter’s safety. Lupe calls and assures her that she is safe.

Fede visits Selena at the club and wants to canoodle. She shuts him down and announces it’s over. Fede gets too frisky, and her new partners come to her rescue. Feds is bounced but still menaces Selena on his way out.

Villalba enters Casa García and uncharacteristically succinctly asks Conchifa if Lupe and Augi have a kid.

Emma. Rod. Refuse.To.Type. Cliche. Overload. Nobody. Cares. The Less You Know….

Belén and Sergio are cut from the dance competition for having an incomplete crew.

Villalba stuns Conchita with a remarkable 6OO-word monologue with a -1% chance of making any sense. He concedes. Conchita asks him to wait. He promises to keep the secret.

FIN
 

Guerrero

O.S. Thank you thank you thank you for doing recaps for both Thursday and Friday!!! I am so happy to say we have your wit for two days in a row! :) I do not have time right now to respond to the episodes as I have to go get my yard sale set up but I willl be back later to discuss all the goings on on our crazy show! It was an eventful week complete with a zorro wedding interruption~ lol how fun!!! :)
 

Happy to see, not happy to say....LOL
 

Guerrero
I'm convinced the writers got very drunk while writing these last episodes. It's the only way I can accept the stupidity I had to endure while watching this episode. Ema just can't oh she can't keep her promise because she is sad oh so sad. What rubish. How someone dared take money for this I have no idea. Lupe is just going to give in. She needs therapy because she can't seem to get this love isn't healthy. Augusto just didn't mean it...How nice. Maybe Lupe drank something before the ceremony too because this is a bit too crazy.
 

Guerrero. Excellent recap as usual, O.S. But wait! Guadalupe was kidnapped by a Zorro look-alike in front of a bunch of wedding guests, nearly all of whom must have been equipped with cellphones and no one called the police? Unbelievable! Though even before any revelations everyone seems to have known that Zorro was Augi. And Mariluz and Dominica sitting around chatting about other things after what happened and before knowing that Guadalupe was safe? Incredible! The writers weren't even phoning it in.
 

Guerrero

Okay, yard sale over for the day!

O.S. I wish I had the energy to copy/paste and comment on all the witty lines from your recaps that cracked me up but sadly it's not to be this week. Just know that you are appreciated as always!

Why was Emma at the wedding? This really stuck out to me....Emma felt out of place at the wedding. She isn't close to Lupe or Conchita as far as we've seen. She wasn't close to Vila or d. Abel and no Guerrero's were there. Domi wasn't even shown there as far as I saw, although I'm guessing she was since she was with Mari afterwards. But why would Emma be there?

It also stuck out to me that Sam was oddly daper in that scene looking for Selena, what was he dressed up for? I'm glad he's still searching for her and not giving up. Even if she's on better footing with the club guys, she still needs a true friend. Plus, she could end up being the one to tell the guys about the real Fede...

I was surprised that Augi let Fede live, but I guess he doesn't really care about Vicky and Fede's useful as a spy.

Vila's grand entry into Augi's house was ridiculous but entertaining, I like how drunk Vicky said 'oh it's you, I thought it was Don Quixote'! LOL

I think Lupe will give in too but I don't really care because I don't like Lupe. If I thought she was a truly innocent and good guy I would be more insulted by her falling for Augi. I did think it was interesting finding out that Lupe only overhear Augi say he would kill the child if he had a bastard. I also assumed he was talking TO Lupe when he said that! I wonder now, who else was potentially pregnant with his child??? Was there another pregnant woman?