Caray, Caray!

Paz emerges in her wedding getup and everyone oohs and aahs. Lupe gives her a pair of earrings for "something borrowed." For "something new," Sam hands her a drawing of an inexplicably blonde bride. Where's she supposed to put that? The camera pans to her deep cleavage. Okay, sure; plenty of room in there.

At the church, Sandro spooks when Nandy comes over to greet Kenzo. He bolts through the crowd, crashing into Mireya and upending her huge basket of flower petals. Humberto materializes to help her scoop them up, giving her significant appreciative looks. Well, it's about time. Good thing he's looking at her from the front, though, because that freakish ponytail is truly terrifying.

Now Esteban is pacing nervously. Paz is late! Where is she? We're probably supposed to worry, but we know there's a dozen more episodes and they need her for all of them. A throaty tenor launches into the Ave Maria and...it's Monito! He has to get through several iterations before the bride shows up, but by the end I'm still in awe. Is there anything this kid can't do? 

It's a nice wedding, even with no horses. There's only the slightest tension as the priest asks if anyone objects (no one does), then the suegras do the lazo, the happy couple recite some cooking-themed vows, and Esteban picks up Paz and her dress and carries them out of the church. There's a little too much Tom-Cruise-on-the-couch style shouting about love, but all in all, a remarkably drama-free interlude. 

After the ceremony, Sam and Monito write gratitude letters and read them aloud to Baby Jesus before leaving them on the altar. 

Meanwhile, back at the jail, Filipa is still following Gin around the yard like that annoying B-list chick you don't want to be friends with but can't avoid because you ride the same bus. She goes on and on about how far they've fallen, until Gin finally has enough and gut-punches her into the chain-link fence. The guards show up and hustle Gin back off to solitary, leaving Fil choking alone on the ground. The ones who act out always get all the attention. 

At the reception, Esteban announces that thanks to Hum the Fast-Track Lawyer, he and Paz, even though they weren't even married 20 minutes ago, have magically adopted both Sam and Monito, who are now called Maria and Manolo Villa de Cortes Roble! The crowd erupts in cheers. Cobija, who has been tucked into Pepa's elbow all day, is incredibly tolerant of being clapped around.  

The party is everything you'd expect from this group of punch-drunk revelers. Esteban grabs the mike and does some karaoke with the five kids forming a flash mob behind him. Paz introduces everyone to her three closest friends, whom we have never seen before (unless one of them is Max's mom. Who knows? But I feel sure I would have remembered Taylor Swift there.) There's a kind of limbo conga-line thing, and Paz summons plates of her signature chilaquiles. Someone really needs to shoot Salo with a tranquilizer dart. 

Elvira catches the bouquet, and Fobo blows her a rakish kiss. Porfirio gets the garter. I guess they don't have our custom of matching the two up at the end, which would severely disrupt our autumn romances. No time for that! There's a killer on the loose! 

No, not Gin. Not this time, anyway. It's Mauro, who has finally crossed the Redemption Rubicon by following Savon's orders to knock off a long list of inconvenient people. Mauro weeps and wheezes in his fleabag hotel room, flashing back on audio of his victims pleading for their lives. He hallucinates Mireya and Sam, who tell him they used to love him but they can't anymore. 

Finally, it's the noche de boda. Paz spends an eternity fluffing her hair and judiciously spraying cologne on herself, while Esteban can't seem to decide if he wants to go pants-on or pants-off. He knocks back his nth glass of champagne and then starts drinking directly from the bottle. Why is he so nervous? We know he's done it at least four times. Curtain, and thank G-d. 

In other news:

* Mauro declines to attack the newlyweds directly on the basis that there will be tons of security and he's kind of on a wanted list. Savon takes it well.

* Lupe urges Elvira to go for it with the "young" fella. Elvi looks like she's weakening.

* Jero, Gema, and her black-lace-swathed baby bump greet Salo and Gala with menacing undertones, but we still don't know what they're up to.

* Savon visits Rubio in prison, hands him a cell phone and tells him instructions will follow. 

Labels: receta

Permalink posted by Blue Lass @ 10:34 AM