Caray, Caray!

IT'S ALL DONE NOW! Finally! (BTW, be sure to read the first hour's recap (for episode 17), written in a hysterical, witty style, by our own Sara.)


Because I'll also be doing Wednesday's recap (Cap 19), which is supposedly on an hour earlier than usual, I'm not going to do as full-detailed one on this one, but more of an overview with highlights of parts/scenes I find most interesting.

SOME OF THE MAIN HIGHLIGHTS WITH COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SCREENSHOTS:

* Lady who has supposedly bought the house from baldy perv landlord says they must be out in 2 days. After Bruno rattles his lawyer-sabre a little bit, lady extends that to three days. Oooh, wow, that's a huge improvement.

There is a protracted scene between perv landlord guy and everyone else. Landlord guy tells Ana Paula that "all the houses" could have been hers (presumably had she "gone along" with his pervy intentions) but she angrily reminds him that he's MARRIED and maybe she'd go to his WIFE and have a chat. Later, Bruno confronts MentiRosa about how exactly did she "deal" with pervy landlord before with the late rent? Did she offer AP to him (landlord)? Bruno's getting a clue that MentiRosa is reprehensible and would have sold off AP to the landlord if she could.

Bruno starts to get a clue about how much of a MentiRosa she really is.

The 2,354th time that Tia turns on the waterworks to get Paula guilty. A suspicious Bruno looks on.

GUILT GUILT GUILT. She's a pro at dishing out the guilt!

*David hints that he and Sinthia should marry. Sinthia doesn't refuse, but thinks it's too soon, and besides, they wouldn't want to conflict with the huge boda that Rohell and Vainessa have planned. *cough cough*

David wants to move things along.

They agree to wait a little while before discussing marrying.

* Tia puts on various drama queen acts in hopes of guilting Ana Paula into marrying the Beast, errr, Rohell. So far no good.

* Bruno offers to help them with their lodging hardship (now that they have no home) but at first AP refuses, saying that she's waiting to see what's up with her boyfriend. Later, AP haltingly asks if Bruno can loan them something for a deposit on a room for Tia, but Bruno can't, citing some sort of banking problem and he can't get to any of his money at the moment. (Which seems strange. But whatever.)

*Federico has a man-to-man talk with Rohell about the pending marriage that everyone seems to think is going to happen. He understands that continuing their business arrangement is good for the business, but his overriding concern is Vainessa's happiness. He's concerned that things have not changed enough and comments that he was "convinced" that Rohell would never forgive and that Vainessa would never live with him in his "condition." Rohell laughingly says that it surprised him too. Fed concedes that Vain is somewhat impulsive and selfish. (NO, REALLY?) Rohell says "don't worry." There is some talk about grandchildren. Fed wishes that Rohell and Vain would adopt, but Rohell says that Vain is committed to not having any family. (I feel sorry for poor Fed with no grandkids to look forward to, then!)

Rohell is willing to sign a new business contract between them, but Fed is not so sure. Eventually Fed says that they could have a clause that says if anyone wants to bail on the contract prematurely, they must forfeit a fee of millions. Rohell is okay with this.

Rohell offers Federico a new contract.

Rohell is all affability when dealing with Federico.

* Fed also mentions that he wants Vainessa to have a part of his business. Rohell looks befuddled, as if he's thinking whatever, who would want a WOMAN involved in the business. Pig. Then Fed says he thinks it's time that Vain have some shares of the company. Rohell says "Por supuesto!" and toasts with Fed.

Talking business with Rohell.

They drink a toast to their business.

Does not compute: Why would Fed want to give a WOMAN a share in his business? (He is SUCH A PIG)

Rohell flashes a sneaky, sh*t-eating grin at the completion of the business meeting with Federico.

* Cupcake (Ana Paula) is able to get a job nursing and is bringing in a little money. She spends some of her earnings on Tia Mentirosa's pills (since Tia made such a stink about how POOOOOOOOR they were, and how she was so SIIIIIIICK but never mind her *cough*cough* she'll just wither away and die because they're so POOOOOOOOR). Tia is not amused and throws the meds in a box in disgust when Cupcake leaves the room. Tia also fakes passing out to squeeze more guilt out of AP.

TOTALLY faking it.

Cupcake tries to comfort a forever-hysterical Tia.

* More trauma for poor Miguel in prison. Dany tries to give him some meds/ointment for his hand but the thugs immediately take it away. Miguel again attempts to drive Dany away and break up with her, but she protests. She leaves him with the carved wooden heart that he made for her. 

Dany brings some meds and other materials for the treatment of Miguel's hand.

Miguel sadly looks at the carved heart that he made for Dani and himself. Wonder how long it is before the prison thugs take that too?

* Later we hear that Miguel has been moved to the infirmary, where presumably he will be a little safer.

* Fed tries to have a friendly chat with Elsa la vaca about the business. She could have worked with him in the business all these years, she was smart enough. La Vaca says she realizes she should have now; maybe if she'd been at work he wouldn't have had the affair with the secretary.

She can't miss any opportunity to make a dig about the affair he had like 20-something years ago.

* There are some very amusing scenes between scheming Tia and scheming Rohell. "You can't sh*t an old turd" as an old friend of the family always said. Both of these characters are old turds, but Rohell's a tougher old turd and Tia is no match for him. Tia tries to squeeze more money out of Rohell, with uneven results.

* In the first scene between these two old turds, Tia expects Rohell to pay up for the pervy landlord, since he did his bit and they're now kicked out of the house. Rohell isn't going for this. "Sucks to be you" he says, in essence, to Tia. He's not paying out anything UNTIL Paula consents to marry him. She then mentions that BRUNO has offered to help. This momentarily takes the sh*t-eating grin off of Rohell's face, but he quickly recovers and says that hey, it's good that she has other options. Tia does not look amused.

He'd better get used to this: Tia hitting up Rohell for more funds.

But this old turd is no pushover.

She realizes, too late, that she miscalculated how much she could squeeze out of fellow old turd Rohellio.

The toughest old turd has the last laugh. Tia is not amused.

* Back at the pueblo where Gustavo is recovering, Ernesto tells Mercedes that Gus's liver and kidneys may have been damaged due to the dehydration and they don't know yet how bad off he is. Mercedes is understandably distraught.

Worried about her little bro.

* A conversation between Bruno and Rohell. Bruno wonders why Rohell won't do more for our Cupcake. "Sucks to be her" is what he essentially says.  He's already helped out a lot and reminds Bruno to just do what he tells him to. Bruno can't figure out Rohell's game.

"Sucks to be her" is what Rohell says about Ana Paula's woes.

* Ana Paula has a conversation about all her woes with Dany. She can't just do nothing! Whatever, more of the same. FF>>>

Our Cupcake is resolved to not just do nothing.

* In a scene between Vainessa and Rohell, Vain whines about wanting to stay in Tuxtla. Rohell says of course they'll be at the Hacienda. She says but she'll need to be in Tuxtla a lot for business, besides, she'd like for them to have a place just for the two of them; Rohell relents and says to start looking for a house, then.

She's an expert at whining.

Happy that she thinks she's getting her way.

Smiles all around.

* There are a series of scenes, which I've spared you, with more guilt-guilt-guilt being heaped on Ana Paula by Tia, what are we gonna do about Miguel, poor us, maybe you should reconsider taking up Sr. Montero's offer, blah blah blah.

* AP and Tia sell the furniture in their house. Tia looks on and cries.

Selling off the furniture. (My sister loves the pretty window in the background!)

* Another delightful scene between our two resident old turds. Tia tries to hit up Rohell for more funds because they've sold off their furniture and have nowhere to stay. "Sucks to be you" Rohell says again. Tia had promised him that she'd help persuade Paula to say yes to his proposal, but Tia obviously hasn't tried hard enough.  She starts to whine about all the problems but he doesn't want to hear it. He taunts her by saying that maybe she should go hit up BRUNO for help. Again Tia realizes she's been outmaneuvered by a tougher old turd.

The complete lack of empathy and concern for Tia's problems are etched all over his face.

Her whining and entreaties are not moving the other old turd in the room.

He taunts her and reminds her that she can always go to Bruno if she wants.

* Things are going along swimmingly between Federico and Rohell. A new contract is going to be signed. Federico is also giving Vain 30% of the shares of his company. Rohell snorts out some piggy thing about not wanting to give his opinion on women being in business. As Fed, Vainessa, Sin, Elsa la Vaca et al are all in accordance and happy about the turn of events, Rohell has this sneaky, sh*t-eating grin on his face for a split second. If we doubted before that he had nefarious plans, we have no doubt now.

Giving a congratulatory smile to Vainessa over being included in her dad's company.

Everyone's so happy. We'll see how long this lasts.

Sinthia, inspired by seeing Vainessa welcomed into the business world, comments about women in business to Rohell. (A not-subtle hint about her wanting her share of the Hacienda.) Rohell laughs and makes a comment about her learning to cook beans (?) while he makes a "stirring beans in the pot" gesture. He is telling her (in a totally douchebaggy way) that he doesn't think she's ready to do business, and Sinthia does not look amused.

Federico talks in loving terms about how he wants Rohell and Vainessa to have a happy relationship. Vain stoops down to give him a smooch, as Rohell offers us a glimpse of how he really feels about her.

Then he gives his trademark sh*t-eating grin.

* Our Cupcake has to leave to start her work with Rohell at the Hacienda shortly but wants to try one more time to get news about Gus before she has to go. She has been informed by Mercedes (via phone) that Gus is in really bad shape. She goes to the hospital where Mercedes works in hopes of encountering her there, but instead hears from a nurse that Mercedes has just had a loss in the family and the nurse gives Cupcake a newspaper with an announcement of the death of "Gustavo Duran Esquivel." Cupcake walks into traffic (literally) with the newspaper clutched in her hand. She goes to see Dani and tells her the terrible news.

"No puede ser!" (It can't be!) Ana Paula is devastated by the news of Gus's death.

She wanders out into traffic, shocked at the news, with newspaper clutched in her hand.

Crying on Dany's shoulder.

* An interesting scene between Rohellio and Vainessa. He's angry because she signed the business contract without looking at it first. She whines that she knows he wouldn't hurt her because he loves her, and besides, her father had already checked it out. Rohell warns her (with great sincerity) to never trust anyone, especially loved ones; they can betray you the most. Between Vainessa's clueless whines, he says, "Do you know how difficult it was to do business with your father all these years, after you dumped me?" She placates him by sitting on his lap, and after a moment of true sadness passes over his face, he proceeds to suck face with her passionately.

They sure do drink a lot in this TN.

"Everything has changed!" she assures him.

He shows his true feelings for a moment.

Then gets into the passionate kiss that she initiates.

* Tia is actually taking her fellow old turd's advice about approaching Bruno for help. Over lunch, she is sharing her "concern" for Ana Paula, and saying that she's wondering if that old turd Rohellio has some "hidden interest" in AP, what with him being so determined to have her work for him and all. Bruno smirks and says that he used to wonder about Rohell's feelings towards AP as well, but he now thinks he was mistaken, because Rohell just recently got engaged to his ex-novia, Vainessa. MentiRosa looks impactada at this news and blurts out "QUE?!?!"

Sneakily "implying" that maybe Rohell's interest in Ana Paula is not entirely professional.

Yeah, he used to wonder about that too, but now that Rohell's gotten engaged to Vainessa, Bruno assumes he was barking up the wrong tree.

Rohellio already engaged? QUE!?!?!? Uh oh, does that mean she's lost her current meal ticket?

* Our last scene is at the grave of Gustavo Duran Esquivel. An older woman (presumably Gus's mom) is crying as well as Mercedes, with Ernesto in the background saying that Gus would not want them to be unhappy.

No, say it ain't so! Has our beautiful eyelashed one gone on to the next life?

Avances: More douchebaggery. Miguel has it very bad in prison. AP promises to help. Prays in church. Maybe she'll have to pay the ultimate price and marry that old turd Rohell.

From the avance: Nice little split-screen shot showing how obsessed the old turd Rohellio is with Ana Paula.

Labels: no-podia

The note on the fridge version:

• Tia lies, cries and pries.
• Mercedes spreads the lies.
• Vainy plans a wedding.
• Rohell plans...we just don't know what exactly.
• Miguel gets a beat down.
• Ana Pau says no.
• The family gets evicted.

The line by line screed (sort of)
Refrito:
Rehash of Miguel's legal problems...that will cost about 2 million pesos and if he's guilty 8 years in prison. Miguel meets the welcome committee.

Doc calls Mercedes. Gustavo repeats Mercedes’ name ad nauseum. Mercedes screeches into the phone.

Fresh helping o' schlock:
Cupcake returns home and asks Tia if anyone called. Tia tells her if she’s waiting for her Novio el Desaparecido she can forget it. Cupcake just knows Gus will turn up. Tia thinks she should take the offer from Rohell. Cupcake has to find out if Gus is ok. She reaches for the phone but Tia asks her to fetch some water and her meds. While Cupcake is gone Tia cuts the phone cord. LMAO. Desperate Tia is desperate. When Cupcake returns there is no dial tone. Tia says it must have been cut off since Bro didn’t pay the bill.

The cows are coming home. Maria, M-grito, Conned and Effer mourn La Paloma. Effer throws the blame squarely on the vet’s lap while M-grito argues it was Effer’s fault. It’s decided that they need to tell Ro-hell.

Sin takes note of Ro-hell’s happy face. She asks if it’s because of the wedding with Vainy. Ro-hell says things are turning out the way he wanted….whatever that means. Maria calls with the bad news about La Paloma. She hands the phone over to Effer so he can explain. Colic, vet’s fault since he didn’t show up all night. Rohell yells about checking animals every day and calling the vet ASAP. Sin cries.

Vainy and Esteban sign the divorce papers. He asks her one last time if she’s sure. She is. She’s ready to finish this after so many years of being unhappy. Esteban wonders if she ever loved him. you can't go around hurting people.First she hurt Rohell, now him. You can't do that and not pay for it.  He hopes she doesn’t regret this. He dramatically removes his ring.

Conned comforts Effer about the horse. Conned says it’s a pity La Patrona is rica rica pero no tiene words I can’t catch. The English was "rich rich, but no one to do her (racy!) At least Conned has Effer and she’s the only one he loves. Right? Riiiiiight.

Sin weeps. Ro-hell says it’s just an animal. They’ll buy another. Sin says animals aren’t just things. Ro-hell gave Paloma to her. He says she needs to suck it up. She says he wasn’t always so tough. That was before his life went to mierda and Vainy left him. That Ro-hell is done and he ain’t coming back. Bruno calls with a Miguel report. Rohell wants it clear to Ana Pau's family that Rohell is the one helping them out. Sin wants to know why Rohell is helping Cupcake so much and he says it’s none of her business.

Mercedes says goodbye to her mom via phone. She asks mom not to tell dad. It would upset him. Ernesto shows up and says he’ll take her. She doesn’t want trouble with his wife. The phone rings and Mercedes thinks it might be the doctor calling again...

...At the same time, Cupcake is hanging up the public phone and whining about Gus’s line being busy. Mercedes isn’t much good for info either since she'd would just hang up. Dany asks if there is some friend or acquaintance of Gus that Cupcake could call to see if Gus has been heard from. Cupcake conveniently remembers Esteban….

…who is currently calling Mercedes. He’s glad Gus has been located and hopes he recovers quickly. She asks about him and why he sounds so sad. He explains about signing the divorce papers. He’ll tell her about it when she returns. Ernesto haz a jealous. Dude. You’re married. Mercedes thinks she should just go alone. Ernie apologizes and they leave together.

Vainy wants to toast to her divorce. Her parents don’t. They really don't approve of the divorce. Ro-hell and Sin arrive. Interminable greetings. Vainy says “A toast because today I signed the divorce from a man I never loved and now I am affianced to a man I’ve always loved.” Pass the antacid please.

David is glad Gus has appeared. Esteban has come to discuss the problem with the Boca del Cielo project. Bidnez blabbity. David BS lines. Esteban is keeping his eyes on David and will shut him down if there is anything wrong. There’s a big difference between plans and what actually gets built!

Missed a bit from Elsa la Vaca. The contract comes up. Ro-hell would like to renegotiate and Federico says no. Ro-hell is a little taken aback since no one says no to Ro-hell. Federico explains he doesn’t mix bidnez with. Elsa thinks the contract is just what they needed. And that’s precisely why Fede doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want it to look like things were planned just to benefit the company. Ro-hell just sees it as an opportunity for both. Fede changes the subject to the wedding. Fede thinks it’s a bit rushed. Ro-hell doesn’t. Sin congratulates them. (Fede is not at all convinced.)

Ro-hell must be paying ‘cause Tia ordered a big pan dulce. Tia is still negotiating her contract. She’s sure Cupcake will capitulate…given enough incentive. Rohell figures out that really it’s Tia who wants more incentive. Tia wants it in writing(?) but, Tia says with a little more money Ana Pau would marry Ro-hell and no one else.

Ana Pau pays a visit to Esteban. He is taken aback by her similarity to Vainy. Esteban fills in Ana Pau. There is great rejoicing. Ana Pau asks where Gus is. Facial expressions indicate Esteban doesn’t know or won’t tell.

Mercedes at Gus’ bedside. No puede ser. Sis wants him transferred to another hospital. Ernie lines. Doc lines. Gus lines. Mercedes lines.

Ana learns of Gus’ beatdown. WTH? is that a fudgesicle in Esteban’s hand? Esteban lines, Ana lines, Dany lines. The girls leave. Ana Pau has to call Mercedes. She’ll use a public phone.

Tia is going to take care of everything. She asks for Rohell’s cell number. He agrees if she understands not to call him for everything. Then she asks for a cell phone for herself. ¿Cómo se dice chutzpah en español? Ro-hell agrees. Tia promises Ana Pau will marry him. Tia prefers him after all. Rohell wants to know what that means. Is someone else interested in Ana Pau? Tia assures him that isn’t the case. She just doesn’t want Ana setting her sights on someone who isn’t worth it.

Gus wants to know if Ana has asked about him. Sis tells him ever since the graduation he never showed up for. Gus is ready to get out and talk to Ana to assure her he’s ok. Poor thing must be worried sick. Mercedes doesn’t think so, but she doesn’t hide it well.

Bruno and Rohell discuss the draft of the contract with Fede (The enigmatic Hugo stoically and silently looks on.) Rohell laughs at Bruno’s “future father in law" line. Bruno wonders if either Rohell or Vainy are changing their minds. Rohell says one never knows what’s going to happen. Bruno knows Rohell doesn’t do anything unless he knows he’s going to win. Bruno tries to talk to Rohell about the nurse. Rohell cuts him off and leaves.

Gus wants to know why Merc is so quiet. Mercedes just tells him to rest.

Cupcake is floating on air. She is so happy and at peace. Tia wants to know how that can be. They don’t have a cent and Ana is not working AND Migui is in jail. But in all that darkness, Ana Pau found some light (and glitter and unicorns and fairies.) Gus has shown up! He’s alive! Tia is impactada.

Ernie is concerned about Gus's condition. Possible renal failure. Gus still insists on talking to Ana. Stubborn little guy, isn’t he? Mercedes spills the Brunobeso beans. Gus is Cyclops impactado.

Ana Pau tells Tia about the assault. Tia digs for info. Is he conscious? Does he know what happened? Cupcake doesn’t know, but he’s coming back and she’ll be able to hug him (is there any antacid left?) Tia flips. You care about this so and so (fulano) more than your brother?! The only thing Ana cares about it Gus!! What about all the family probs?! Ana Pau should be worried about is getting bro out of jail! Tia wants to know: is Cupcake going to accept Rohell’s proposal or not?

Mercedes struggles to calm Gus down. Gus asks the same thing I was wondering: how could Mercedes be so cruel. Srsly, Sis…he’s in bad shape and you want to report his girlfriend’s engaño? More “no puede ser”s Mercedes opens the can of mentira beans that Tia and Bruno gave her and spills them.

Vainy and Sin shop for a wedding dresse. Sin reminds her they’ve gone through this before. Vainy swears this time it will be different. Blabbity blah. Sin just knows that when she really falls in love, nothing will stop her. Oh, btw she really doesn’t feel that hubba hubba passion with David.

Gus calls Cupcake…too bad the cord is cut. Mercedes comes in and tells him to forget about Ana and focus on getting better and seeing dad. Gus wants to know what’s up with dad? Ernie brings something to eat and a shirt. Some lines about hospital transfer and Mercedes and Gus’ delicate condition?

Tia and Bruno worry about getting caught. Cupcake hasn’t talked to Gus yet, but they have to be ready. Gus might win!

Cupcake turns down Rohell. She can't marry if there is no love. He can’t believe she’d choose servitude (servidumbre) instead of being the dueña, but whatevs. Get ready, chica we’re leaving on Saturday. Ana wants to say goodbye to bro. Rohell says sure and make it good. Life in prison is hard for those with no money to buy protection. *digdigguiltguilt*

Migui is threatened by prison Cyclops. The snot is promptly beat out of Migui.

Tia is now making deals with baldy. She wants to help him get even (desquitarse de mi sobrina)? In the words of 5ft: TACKY. She makes a production of answering her new celular and letting baldy know it’s Don Rohell. Obviously it’s bad news.

Cupcake calls Mercedes. Mercedes hangs up on her. Mercedes and Ernie share a moment.

Cupcake arrives home. Tia is pissed. A little backpedaling (since in theory Tia wasn’t supposed to know yet.) Cupcake doesn’t lerve him! She’ll work for the dude ‘til the debt is paid. Tia asks if she’s talked to Gus. Can he at least help? Ana says she’s not a rogona (does an English translation exist? Basically, "I’m not gonna use my assests to take advantage.")Tia she should have taken the Rohell marriage deal. Ana will work for him, that's it. Cupcake will leave a letter for Gus. She’s going to go say goodbye to Migui. Sob story from Tia about no money and lights, gas etc being shut off.

Rohell tells Bruno to offer the family of the deceased a settlement (two million pesos.)

Cupcake visits Miguel. Gus news. Miguel tells her to marry Gus. Be with the guy she loves. She calls him out since he broke up with Dany and she’s suffering because of him. Miguel’s hand is infected. It even smells bad. Not funny, but really? She sniffed it? I have to laugh. Cupcake is an idiot and makes a scene. Miguel is like “ixnay on the ellingyay. Ugthays!" She convinces Miguel to get the hand looked at.

Sin and Effer talk about La Paloma. She’s pissed and wants to see the vet’s report. He talks dirty.

Cupcake whines about how scared Miguel is. Bruno is going to help and make awesome WTF? faces when Tia pats him on the shoulder. Bruno leaves. Tia talks up Bruno and Rohell. Recapper’s assessment: Bruno = rock. Rohell = hard place. Ana is somewhere in between. Tia wants to know if Ana has talked to Gus yet. Ana is sure if Gus were there he would help.

David asks Rohell if he wants him to speed up the deal with Miguel. Sin arrives. Rohell leaves. David wants to take Sin shopping for the bestest dress. David hints about getting married.

Tia can’t pay the rent. Baldy shows up and says he sold the house….to a nice lady who wants them out in two days!

Labels: no-podia

I take over recapping just as Pancho's friend in his undershirt pulls out the defibrillators he probably bought at Harbor Freight and almost gives Mystery Mascara Mama a big shock - but decides she hasn't had a heart attack. The Mystery Mama turns out to be the famous singer Alejandra Guzman who flaps her wings so annoyingly at the start of every episode.

• Ana asks Freddy if he wants the same from her that he wanted from Elena - and if not, what? He claims he doesn't want to go to bed with her. "Why? Because I'm not attractive, not at your level? ..." "What do you want me to say?" "Why do you want to be my boyfriend?" He compliments her and there's more kissing.
  
• Chela, still livid that Enzzo dares to twirl the dog around her (or something like that - actually he offered chocolate), yells when she picks up the phone, but it's Pancho - he has a big problem!
  
  Chela meets him at the undershirt doctor's place. The undershirt doctor thinks Guzman just hyperventilated and needs to breathe into a paper bag (my mom had panic attacks and that's what she did).
  
  Chela and Pancho decide to take care of her at home until she's better. Suddenly the crazed singer wakes up yelling at the universe, why can't she have what she wants - which is to be a famous singer but also have a normal life. She is quite angry and nutty. Luckily she faints again.
  
  Pancho slept on the couch. Sometime in the night all the mascara got sucked off Guzman's face. She wakes up confused...
  
  ... The breakfasting Lopez family is surprised to hear someone yelling about kidnapping. Guzman threatens Pancho with a drinking glass and says she's a warrior. And doesn't want breakfast. Chela sweetly talks to her like she's a scared baby. Guzman remembers being terrified by the press after her concert and running...
  
• Moni says she saw her mother, for sure! They looked in each others' eyes. Pepe can't believe the mom would then simply disappear.
  
  Moni is surprised that Freddy apologized. Pepe figures he did it so he could keep being the Avon driver.
  
  Then Pepe asks Moni if she'd like to live with him. She likes the idea, but where? How about a little apartment? She loves the idea. She's worried about her dad killing her when she tells him.
  
• The two guys in berets are wearing striped pajamas so you know they're in jail. They call Vince and sigh about how great it was to meet Candy. He says they owe him his money back.
  
• Guzman's keepers are despairing, they too think she's been kidnapped. She doesn't want Chela and Pancho to tell anybody where she is. Pancho calls Rebe: he doesn't go to work, but there is a meeting he has to go to. Why doesn't he tell her what's going on?
  
• Back to the Lopez household, where everyone wonders who's hidden in the back room. Guzman whines about her life, she never sees her family, she wants to disappear, she's missed all the birthdays and homework and graduations, she's tired of hotels.
  
  Chela tries to cheer her up. Pancho says he'll call her mother Sylvia, but she doesn't want her mom to see her this way. She decides she wants to stay with them a while.
  
• Why did Abejita's white puppies turn brown? Melita tells Temo she wants to be like golfer Lorena Ochoa, who's coming to Avon for the important meeting. Temo talks soccer.
  
• Enzzo tells Arnoldo he likes a woman! But he can't tell Vince because he's made so much fun of him about Candy. "She's very attractive, but of 'another level.' "
  
• Chela and Pancho chat with Guzman about family. She was alone a lot when she was little because her mother was famous too, I guess. She whines more about what she never got. She wants to use "tu" with them, and to hide for a few days and live normally, she'll pretend to be her own sister (except for the tattoos).
  
  Pancho says he doesn't want to lie to his kids, but it's too late anyway, they were all eavesdropping. He tells them to tell nobody they're harboring a superstar. They give her one of their famous bear hugs.
  
  Chela gossips with Guzman, who upon figuring out that Chela's in love with her brother-in-law who's in love with somebody else, wisely suggests: "Why not find some other guy? They're makin' them thangs every day." [Quote from the Sweet Potato Queens.]
  
• Big meeting. Vince is furious to see Sandrucha there; she tells him she has a new position courtesy of the Pres. Temo shows up to get an autograph from the golfer. The golfer's manager happens to have one and gives it to Temo, whom he finds cuter than I do.
  
  Vince is indignante, even more so when he realizes Temo wants the photo for Meli! A big fight almost breaks out in front of the perplexed golfer-manager, who then invites Temo to the dinner (and Temo invites Meli).
  
• Ana and Lupe, in a gratuitous plunging-bathing-suit scene, see on TV that there is a big fuss being made about Guzman's supposed kidnapping. Guzman rolls her eyes when they tell her.

Tomorrow: a lot of policemen with guns come to rescue Guzman from Pancho.

Labels: familia

I'm glad I got to see chato get sprayed with the hose in the recap... he brought new meaning to the term tirar perros, as the lines he uses on the maids are some real dogs.

Melly and Temo plan to steal Abeja's puppies to spare them from "sacrifice" (maybe Pina is a closet satanist).

At the scene of the inept carjackers, Pancho yells at his "hija," la burra, to get out of there (the carjackers have a van dangling above her). Negotiations with the crooks aren't going so well, but then Candy shows up. She brings her massive resources into play to distract and enchant the crooks into dropping the guns. Meanwhile Pancho gets in the truck and prepares to make his exit. The bumbling fools are so enchanted by their "aztec princess" that they don't realize they didn't get the money till Lopez & co. make their exit and the cops show up.

Abeja's puppies appear to be at least the size of their parents. Temo hides them under the table while Melly faces off with Pina (Pina and Melly are my favorite pair on the show). Things are getting tense when a dog barks, and Pina is about to look under the table when Ado limps in, sobbing. As if only noticing now, Pina remarks that this is a house of locos.

Chela, in a hot dress and heels, has trouble setting aside the apron. She tells herself that the habit doesn't make the nun, and no ill will come of this. Candi bursts in, sees the flowers, and snatches the notes. She explodes with glee when she finds that she was right about Transeti! They can't help but discuss his muscles, and Candi tries to insert the idea that she can seduce.

Elena has decided to be a villain with no motivation other than self-pity. She's also not a very effective villain.

Pancho, looking forwards to some "alone time" with Rebe, has another moment of consultation with Laurita's photo. He confesses that he's nervous about what he's about to do. He thanks her for a second chance at love. The candle flares, which he takes as a sign of permission.

Ana, grossly, thanks Arnold for the kissing lessons. Gushes about Freddy. After she leaves, he reveals that he's IN LOVE WITH HER EEWWWW.

Pancho shows up at Rebe's in a suit, with roses and a mushy note. She says he smells delicious. He pulls out a cd and it's the theme song! Anyway, they have a fancy meal (where'd the waiter come from?).

Melly has rescued the pups from cruella. They're at Pancho's and Ana is about to leave for exfoliation when Freddy shows up.

Moni is hanging out on the street at night, discussing how weird shit has become, when an overdressed, over-made-up lady shows up and, bizarrely, immediately recognizes her as "mija." Craaazy alert. She could just as easily be some random crazy, but Moni "has a feeling." The lady suddenly disappears, and the friend begins to doubt MONI'S sanity.

Pancho and Rebe are just getting down to business when the doorbell rings. Pancho: "don't tell me you ordered pizza..." It's Arnold, with news about Ana. Pancho walks in with his shirt half off to yell at him for interrupting. Then he has a little jealous fit at Rebe for her supposed past with Arnold.

Freddy sees the pups and threatens to tell Pina, but Melly holds her ground and blackmails him (threatening to tell Pina that her nene is dating a Lopez).

Pina answers the phone, "hola, mansion irabien," because "desaparicion" isn't there. Yuyi calls from the opera and wants to talk to melly, but she's not there.

Freddy shows up at the Lopez' to apologize to Pepe, which he actually does kind of nicely. Pepe accepts, which must have seemed like a waste of potential drama to the writers

Pina calls for Ado, who lacks her normal enthusiasm. She's lovesick for Pancho's fat chauvinist friend, and Pina is weirdly sweet, admitting that Ado is like her only friend.

But Pina says Chato is a fool with the boots nose. Why is Ado this way about such a jerk?

Uh-oh, transeti calls to "locate Chela." Chela is doing her Avon work at a friend's house. The friend says she looks radiant, with a very special light in her eyes. "but, you haven't had more signals from above?"

Pancho and Rebe are back to smooching but still won't hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. How long can they drag this out?

Chela just about jumps out of her pants with rage when Transeti shows up with chocolates. She still remembers when he tried to kick them out of their home: "don't forget that I don't forget." She won't let him give her a ride home, despite the lightning.

Enter a new and wildly random subplot: a strange, half-naked, tattooed lady (who appears to be the freaky-dancing singer of theme song) in the rain, running in terror with dripping makeup. Meanwhile, Pancho, struggling with a tire on the Burra in the rain, surely wishes he'd stayed in with his hot girlfriend. He sees this bizarre apparition get hit by a car and rushes to her aid.

Pancho takes her to a sketchy doctor buddy of his (who is quite a sight in his undershirt and stethoscope. He applies the eeg sensors, and that's all for part 1 of tonight's show.

Labels: familia

Labels: no-podia

Traditional Scottish Prayer:
From ghoulies and ghosties
And long-leggedy beasties
And things that go bump in the night,
Good Lord, deliver us!

Review: Flowers for Chela, Tears from Pina and Pez Plots for Pancho y Rebe, Freddy keeps the not-galan pressure on Ana at the Promontory de Preggers. Ana has gone from overall clad tomboy to simpering satin and lip gloss girl. Freddy pops the big adolescent question of novios. At the table in the mansion, the family jokes good naturedly at Temos romance, Graciela comes in all dressed up and lovely. Rebe and she pass a nearly pleasant greeting. Freddy misses the cue on hiding romance from Ana’s father a la Candela and Vin. Speaking of devils, Candela and Vicente show up as Mata Hari and Cyrano (sans feather in cap) and are photographed my Mara’s dinner companion. Back at the P.P., Ana shows Freddy her new kissing skills.

Almost new: Dona Fernanda in Berlin, Germany answers the hotel door muttering about the hotel service but Inez pushes forward to bully her way in the door. She demands the moment has come to tally up their accounts. The irritating Chato with hat glued to head, comes in for another free meal but instead earns a pitcher of the delicious tamarind spilled on him by the slender maid. After she slaps his chest in mock drying, she leaves while the other comes in carrying a large bouquet of flowers for Chela with a card from Enzo. Chela looks stormy, sulky and maybe just a tad turned on.

Back to Berlin, Inez demands, look me in the eyes and tell me exactly what happened when you had a romp in the hay with my husband (revolcaste con me marido.)

Chela goes snarly when they ask who sent the flowers. She doesn’t want the third degree. But she immediately reflects on the vision of an abs-alicious meeting in the gym with Enzo. Enzo, with thankfully no greasy hair, is simultaneously thinking of the same moment when he told Chela she looked hot even though she just blew smoke out her ears in irritation. As he is musing until he is laughing alone, Enzo has to defend his sudden sunny mood to Moni when she enters. He mutters there is someone that I just noticed but who hates me. Oh never mind.

Freddy seems genuinely starry-eyed at Ana’s new skill. She warns him not to treat her like she hears he treated Elena. He swears innocence while he is really fascinated. He’s hoping for more of those graduate kisses maybe even a thesis.

In the restaurant where no one ever seems to eat, Candi and Vin continue to hide behind their hats from Mara, Pina’s great friend. They talk about how he doesn’t care for or love PIna while Candi continues to say if you didn’t really care you would leave her and marry me, but then you wouldn’t have money. She so has his number but still can’t count. They kiss.

Fernanda wants to know why Inez came 1000’s of miles to see her. Inez demands to know what she did with her husband. Fernanda says she never had any affair but she did love him. And his love for her was because he found home so cold. Inez always knew there was more and insists that she knew he stayed with Fer in her house.

Chucha rejects Chato’s next stupid flirtation. The table jokes more about Chato’s handling of his multiple flirtations. Chela looks sad until Pancho asks her what is wrong. In a pout she leaves the table.

Fernanda tells Inez that her husband left her house because she rejected him and she told him not to come back. Inez repeats that she now controls 35% of Avon but will soon have it all. Inez rejects Fer’s protestations of innocence and raises her cane to revenge her husbands death. Fernanda backing away from the crazed little crone clutches her chest in fear and asks Inez what she intends. Inez, seems intent on pounding the cookies out of Fer with the cane but instead suddenly clutches her own chest and falls backward into a faint but is continuing to breath heavily. Mortal combat between ladies so old and so frail is a high risk sport, kind of like sex would be, lots of heat and smoke but not much fire!


Pina whines in her kitchen in her elegant dressing gown and bright blue boa that she has lost her fight to keep Vin. Adoración thinks she is going to name Candi, but Pina says the lover of her husband is …drumroll…SANDRA.

Mara and her companion come over to the table to discover who the crazed couple is. Vin stays talking behind his hat and Mara finally thinks they are actors. Candi bobs her curls in a hopeful yes. Mara’s instamatic popping friend just wants to kiss Candi’s hand but is batted away by Vin’s hat so he apparently doesn’t recognize him but remember he does have those photos.

Pina asks Adoración if she can imagine Vin with Sandra and Ador makes a creeped out face, she would rather not imagine it.

Rebe and Pancho make out when still so snotty Ana comes in looking dreamy and faintly rumpled in her satin dress. She makes a perfunctory greeting to Rebe so Pancho is ready to have another talk about her rudeness when Rebe points out that Ana’s behavior is because she is in “lurve.” Pancho and Rebe make out more.

Off in her room fondling her gifted flowers, Chela is thinking for a change not about Pancho but about Rancetti. Though she still feigns disgust.

Next morning at Avon, Sandra scolds Vin . He is trying to fire her.

Alex shows up at the tenement to try to talk with Elena’s brother Tomas but Elena is awful with him bitterly mocking him for being a rich boy (and not her rich boy, me thinks.) Alex kisses Lupita and says he doesn’t now why Elena is in such a snit.

In the office, Sandra is trying to act as though her revelations to Pina were of no consequence but Vicente gets out that Pina has made her forgiveness of Vins sin with her contingent on his firing Sandra. Sandra cries she has the mortgage and her retired father and others dependent on her in the house. Vin stays cold and unbending so Sandra leaves his office in tears. Candi comes in and finds Sandra packing. She immediately seizes on this situation being so unfair (and her fault.) Then she scolds Vicente who has had no luck at all today with the women in his life.

At the race track. Freddy comes in his helmut and ace driver costume. He reluctantly shakes Pepe’s hand. Freddy takes off with meaningful looks at the greaser mechanic. Moni assures Pepe that the kiss from Fraudster meant nothing. She is entirely his. Pepe seems mostly sure of himself and of her. Everyone is worried about the test and the expensive machine Freddy is driving. Ana swoons about her handsome new novio. In the next round or so, the steering wheel comes loose and Fraudie, losing control over this magnificent machine, heads toward the barriers of cement with real fear in his eyes. What did this naco do or let the greasy one do? Hold on for some ads.

We’re back, Freddy somehow avoids the barrier, clips some cones, threatens the fans in the stands then comes to a slipping stop in the grass. Vin rushes over to hug his saved son. Pepe is immediately sure something was done to the car. Freddy blames Pepe then is followed by his father blaming Pepe. Pancho lines up behind Pepe but Ana clutches Freddy’s sleave as she lines up behind him. Freddy and Vin take off in a huff and Tomás wants to inspect the car right away but Pancho says we need to have this inspected officially, something is fishy here (hay un gato encerrado.) Ana sticks with her father but doesn’t look too loyal. Enzo has half way changed his tune. At least he asks Pepe what could have happened to the steering. Pepe assures him it was totally important for his work to test well.

Lupita and Alex have seen the whole thing streamed on the computer then Lup gets a call from Pepe while Alex has a flashback of Freddy telling him that his mechanic (Greaseman) was going to help him finish off Pepe Lopez once and for all. Back with Lupita who is being her charming self with a table full of small children, he has dreamy unclear thoughts. When she returns she says how much she loves children and doesn’t he too? He then reveals that his childhood was largely abandoned by parents who travelled all the time, for whom work was the most important thing and their social life, theater and all meant more than their children. He has abandonment issues (did they die too, I missed that line). So he is not sure about having children. Lupita kisses him with extra tenderness through his bitter tears.

Candi and Pancho leave the race field. She tells Pancho that Sandra told Pina that she and Vin were lovers.

Alex realizes that having children with Lupita would please her so smartly asks her how many she wants to have. She grins warmly, saying five or six. They kiss on it.

Candi continues that she told PIna aobut Sandrucha and Vins so pPina has made Vinc fire Sandra. Pancho says Sandra is not going to go without work most of all for your falult.

Chela goes to school (is it an Avon sales class or real adult education?), dresses well and begins to look like a woman with a brain. Or that is my hope for this silent scene.

The receptionist down stairs (that used to flirt with Pepe) is sitting at Vin’s secretarial desk. And Pina arrives being pleased to see the desk unSandra-ed. Pina then pushes into Vin’s office to say, if Candi knew you had an affair with Sandra and it was of only one night like you claim, how could Candi know of it? It must have been a full blown affair, she concludes. She can’t believe that the man she loves most in all the world would betray her with a cheap affair with his secretary.

Freddy tells the Greaseman (sorry I can’t remember his name and don’t care enough to look it up, he ticks me off) that he was having such a good time driving that he forgot for a minute that they had loosened the steering wheel. He is enraptured with the great race car but is easily distracted with the tall ad truck going by with Ana ‘s face plastered truck high with her Avon debut. That’s MY NOVIA he tells Greaseman. Really? Yeah! he is suddenly very proud of his conquest.

Pancho asks Sandra why she would have an affair with a married man. She is n’t sure But he kindly reassures her that she will not be left on the street. From now on she will work for Rebeca and will be promoted How does head of (sorry didn’t get the dept.)? She is ecstatic. She leaves while Rebe and Pancho smile at each other.

Chela saunters by with snotty nose upturned to Enzo and asks how did he have the nerve to send her flowers when she hates him. He says suavely says, your eyes say something else. She hangs on to her hate a little longer, but watches him closely.

At the race track the official mechanical inspector says something was definitely loosened in this car. He has videos camaras to see who could have approached the car. Pepe, Moni and Tomas are still worried about the car and finding out who altered it.

Freddy calls Ana to say he saw her Avon ad all over town. She is pleased and he swoons off of the phone all caught by the “video memory” girl called cousin Melli. Is your novia named Ana? She asks when he gets off the phone. He tells her not to be nosy (metiche) but Melli is easily smarter than Fred and will hold this knowledge for her further use when needed.

Rebe and Pancho pledge to be completely in each other hands and all night long. They can’t wait until they can be together all the time. They do everything but sleep in the same bed.

Enzo wants to kow how old Vin feels when he is with Candi? 11 or 11 and a half at most, says Vin quite sincerely. What about the issue with Sandra? Vins says, I took care of her. Vin gets a call about someone continuing the preparations. He won’t tell Enzo now what is happening. The bloom seems to be off the romance among the three pesketeers.

In a hospital bed in Germany, we see a pasty faced Inez looking scared as Fernanda comes in. Hola, Inez says Fer gently.

Pancho and Rebe kiss and act happy on the steps of Avon planning an evening date out in the Burra. When suddenly, the black clad, pez gun carrying, beret wearing duo charge up the stairs. Pancho gives them his money and keys and her purse and tries to be friendly. The pez shooter does turn out to be a water gun, so after squirting the surprised couple, the theives make off with La Burra. They finally discover that they only lost the Burra, they are not hurt, but Pancho cries for his dear truck.

Back in Berlin, Inez hears an apology by Fernanda who begs her pardon for what happened to her husband. She blesses and kisses Inez and leaves the startled looking old lady puzzled in her bed.

La Burra is full of burly boys who now report to Vin’s cell that they are awaiting instructions for the next part of the plan. They have accomplished the first step as he wished.

Freddy comes by to pick up Ana and they kiss.

At the police station, Pancho reports that his Burra has been stolen but has to correct himself for the shocked officer that La Burra isn’t an actual burro but is his truck. Rebe has to remind the officer that this was a serious holdup. Can they describe the crooks? Both Rebe and Pancho say, they looked just alike (egual), The officer is totally clueless and wants to blow it off. Just then the ladrones of La Burra arrive at the junkyard to find it locked. They don’t know what to do.

Freddy and Ana get back in his car to go off but the car seems flooded. He doesn’t seem to have a clue of what to do. Ana asks him to pop the hood and she provocatively leans over the engine and begins to fix it. (She has totally redeemed herself in my eyes with this satin covered butt shot with nonchalant control of the motor.)

Rebe drops Pancho back at his house. He is inconsolable at the loss of his beloved Burra. It makes him think of his Papa and the times they worked together. Rebe assures him that they won’t stand by with arms crossed. They will get his beloved truck back. He goes into his house while Rebe promises the air that she won’t fail him and she will do what need to be done to get La Burra back for her love.

Ana has fixed the car and with greasy hands comes back into the car, kisses an astonished Fred but gets a call about La Burra’s fate and has to leave him immediately. Freddy is unexpectedly star struck with his low-class ingénue.

Pepe is discussing results that he will get tomorrow when Pancho comes in to tell Pepe and Moni that his sad look is from losing La Burra. Ana arrives at that moment. When the chips (or burras) are down, the members of familia Lopéz are hardwired to close ranks and support each other unconditionally.

Temo whines to be part of the rescue team that will go after La Burra. Chela reminds him he has school tomorrow so cannot go. Moni, Ana and Lupita take off with Pepe to comb the city all night, with no luck. Pancho stays to worry alone in his room. Chela comes in later with tea and wants to know what he was doing when this happened. When he says he was about to go out with Rebe, she says, you mean you didn’t go out? In spite of what he was doing, she is glad that nothing happened to either of them. (Nice little shift in attitude.)

Melli rats out Freddy with PIna that he has a girlfriend. He demures, mumbling that she is named Anita. Pina plows on about who could she be and who could her family be and how rich and famous could they be. She names countless acceptably rich families.

Rebe calls Candi and says I need your help. I have an idea of how to get La Burra back. Candi is enthused to help. The kids keep looking and driving around.

At the breakfast table the talk centers on Freddy who won’t eat. Vin is mildly interested but Pina wants to hear more about this Anita. Milli says it’s Ana and the table gets inot an uproar. The boys leave and Melli asks Pina, what are you going to do with the puppies of Abeja and Popeye? Oh, they will have to be sacrificed snoots, Pina. SACRIFICED! screams the precious moppet.


At the office, Vin gets a call from the idiot La Burra thieves. They want more money and need to know what to do next. Vin tells them he will come to the junkyard but then sees Pancho coming in and manages to ask him, why the long face? When Pancho says, it is for the loss of his beloved La Burra, Vin snorts. Father and son car rustlers smirk as poor Pancho goes to his office with head hung low.

Pepe gets off of a kissy call with Moni when naco Freddy comes in to challenge him but Pancho comes in to stop the abuse. Pancho wants only to get la Burra back but Pepe sees the smirk on Fraudy’s face.

Vin shows up at the wrecking lot and sees the robbers dancing inside of La Burra. Vin has more money. He gives the order to finish La Burra off, and the car in the air is dropped by a crane that lands on a car beside beside La Burra. Go figure, one of the beret bandits is driving the crane.

At Avon, the parties have gathered, demands are made, posturing ensues. They want to get on with blaming thinking it will be Pepe’s doom, but the suit with the most interest in the car’s development says before they get going, they are going to see a video. Freddy sinks into his seat.

Moni finds out that her mother’s name isn’t Vargas, it is Ruiz, from the investigator.

The robbers hear Candi and know her voice which is on the radio inside the truck. She is giving a plea for help to recover La Burra. She gives the description and license number and the robbers decide it’s time to double dip and to get close to the luscious Candi too.

Meanwhile, the conference room video shows Fraudy and Greaseman approaching and altering something under the hood of the racecar. The investigator concludes: It is clear that the video shows the car was sabotaged by Freddy and his Greaseman. Freddy tries to whine that the video was altered but NO ONE buys it around the table. Freddy is looking like his goose is cooked. Back from break, the investors conclusion that Freddy needs to be taken off the project. Freddy begs Enzo who has no say over it. You will have to find a new pilot but Pepe is doing a great job with the car and we will continue as planned. Nothing more is to be done. The investor group leaves and Pancho congratulates his son. Freddy slams out the door.

Chato gets in trouble flirting too far and wide. With a maid from Lopez’ house while Adoración shows up and cools his ardor with a nice garden hose shower. This is enjoyable since most of Chato’s antics are neither comic nor a relief.

The beret headed nacos call the radio station and get Rebe on the phone sitting beside Candi. They make a deal that the women can come to get La Burra and they want money but they want no police or they will destroy La Burra, and oh yes, they demand two autographed photos of Candi. Rebe says of course, no police and with photos and money. They will be right there to rescue La Burra. The nacos rave about the ravaging Candi photos they are about to receive.

Moni shows up to accuse her father of giving her a false name for Violeta Ruiz who was not named Vargas. Why?

Meli tells a shocked Temo that Pina has threatened to sacrifice the puppies.

Moni accuses Enzo that he lied that he was present at the registration of her birth and he should stop lying. She stomps out again leaving him sputtering.

Melli and Temo are off to rescue the puppies. Miniiture super-kids united in a noble quest..

Pancho is crying to the boys that losing La Burra is like losing a living loved one. Just then Rebe and Candi come in chiming in that La Burra is saved.

Freddy runs in tell to Daddy that he is about to be denounced. Vin assures him that he will not be charged with any crime. Freddy wants Daddy to make him the pilot driver of the spiffy racecar like he promised.

The nacos decide to put on bandito bandanas to rob Pancho again even though Candi has come and offers the money AND the photos. Just where does Vicente find these people? One lets a VW bus begin to descend from the crane as we fade to the knuckle-to-chair-gripping close AGAIN!!

I am mostly thankful that this will be the last week of double episodes. I am also going to be gone in February to Costa Rica and Oaxaca. If anyone is interested in a 5 week guest spot, please let me know. I would like someone to take January 30 (that is next week) and all Mondays through the end of February.

Labels: familia