Caray, Caray!

El Club de Las Feas celebrates in the employee bathroom after Lety shyly tells them that Fernando called her his assistant. She has the exact same look on her face that your 12 year old niece has when telling her friends about some boy who touched her hand. In the midst of the celebration, Alicia oooops I mean Jessica Rabbit walks in. “Que paso??” with the o being like this – oooOOOooo? Like you would ask your kids who are pretending there isn’t any paint on the wall as you ask them “ok and what happened heeeere?” Las Feas tell Jessica Rabbit that Lety is the assistant to the president now, so she (J.R.) better watch her step. If they were guys instead of women, there would be a lot of chest bumping and “hold me back dude I swear hold me back” going on. J.R. laughs her fake fake laugh oh how I hate the fake laugh and says it can’t be true, Lety isn’t anybody important in the company, she’s just the leader of El Club. She is “La Reina de Las Feas.” HAhahaahahhaahahahahah as she leaves the room. Like the Joker after wrapping Batman and Robin with scotch tape and putting them over a goldfish bowl to finish them “once and for all!”

Jessica Rabbit runs off IMMEDIATELY to rat to Marcia about what Las Feas were saying about Lety. Here’s an Alborada flashback – there was one scene where Diego was whining to Dona Juana, she was telling him how stupid he was after he got in yet another screaming match with Luis, about how he was being immature to yell insults at Luis. “But he insulted me first!” he whiiiiiiiines. J.R. uses that exact same tone here. “They said she was the assistant to the preeeeesident Maaaarcia? Como se puede? COOOOOMMMOOOOO???” Somebody needs to have their bedtime bumped up about 30 minutes if they are going to be cranky like that!

Marcia calls a meeting con todo El Club de Las Feas and asks Lopez the finger licker to be present. She rips into them. They are chismosas (gossips), they don’t do any work, they waste time and money, they talk too much, etc etc etc and finally Fernando shows up. He cuts Marcia off, then tells Lopez to issue a memo announcing that Lety is now asistente de Presidencia! Marcia glares at him with those glassy unblinking eyes. Her eyes really shine, but I think that’s because they are marbles. If they were real eyes, she would have to blink every once in a while to keep them from drying up and falling out.

The next day Omar is hanging out and sees Ariel The Little Mermaid arrive and give a way too friendly greeting to Alicia and is jealous. Que macho these men. “I’m gonna screw whoever I want, but if you let someone say hello to you too nicely, I’m gonna be pissed. Just so you understand how it is.” Fernando tells Omar that he has to keep up his romance with Alicia to keep her away from The Little Mermaid, if she gets in with him she might give him information.

Lety is waiting for that damned Microbus to get home, it cruises right by without stopping. I think the Microbus company draws its employees from the same place that the DMV gets theirs. As she’s yelling at the bus as it disappears, Fernando pulls up in his sweet ride. I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of car he drives, but they never show the logo. I think it’s a BMW Z3 but I’m not sure. Something very much like that if not that. Anyway, he offers Lety a ride and says that she doesn’t need to take the bus, he’ll give her a ride home every single night. After her first little daydream, it’s easy to spot them now. Any time Fernando gets in close my wife and I look at each other “dream.” He asks what she’d like to listen to, she says she loooooooves Alejandro Fernandez. He says that’s his favorite too! Then they ride off to their castle where he’ll ravish her with no threat of repercussion from RoboPapa.

The sound of Fernando yelling “LETY!” snaps her out of it, he just asks if she’s all right. She says yes, then a model wanders by and Fernando’s attention is gone, like a cat who spots anything dangling anywhere. He offers the MODEL a ride, as they drive away he turns on the radio and tells the model how much he likes Alejandro Fernandez. Lety’s eyes shoot open “Tambien me gusta much Alejandro Fernandez……” but Fernando is gone.

Lety gets home somehow anyway and tells everyone, including the ever-present freeloader Tomas, that she is now officially the assistant to the president. They all want to know, “did you get a raise?” “uh no, but I’m sure he’ll take care of that later.” This proves to me that Lety has never held a job before. She gives him waaaaay too much credit. Who gives out money without being asked?

Marcia, the unblinking eye, hey that’s kind of like Sauron from The Lord of The Rings – his tower has this big red fiery eye that is referred to as “The Unblinking Eye.” So Marcia is Sauron. Well that might be WELL over the nerd tolerance of most of you so I’ll keep that to myself. Anyway Marcia is with Fernando’s parents complaining again about Lety. She regularly talks about how Fernando is a dumbass and is giving Lety so much responsibility, right to his parents! For some reason this doesn’t make Fernando’s mother feel strange, she agrees that Lety needs to go. Why? Who knows. The only reason ever given is that Sauron doesn’t like her. Ok, I thought I’d try Sauron once to see how it looked but it doesn’t quite work. I’ll go back to Marcia the Unblinking Eye. Later on, Fernando’s father tells Fernando that he is giving too much trust to Lety. She has a target on her back, watch out Lety.

Meanwhile, Lety is at home roping Tomas in to help her on yet another urgent, due tomorrow morning, business report for a meeting. Yawn. This is to keep the whole plot about Conceptos having money troubles moving along, but right now it’s all just snore on that end. I’m sure later it will mean something, for now bleah. Tomas, as usual, isn’t much help, he’s too busy giving little kissies to his LAMINATED picture of Jessica Rabbit. This guy is creep central, stalker, serial killer. I mean REALLY. What do you think he does when he’s home alone with that picture, hmmm? Never mind, forget I said that. Ugh. He rants and raves about her being with Omar, how can this be true? How can she be with him? Lety basically tells him “DUH you idiot he’s good looking and rich. Get over it. She’s a bitch anyway.”

Labels: fea-e