Caray, Caray!

We get to savor, again, the Banana's realization that she is now secretary to, not Don Humberto, but Lety! No puede ser! "Hey, it isn't April Fool's Day, don't fool around like this. This must be a nightmare! Luigi, pinch me! Ow, not that hard!" Assured it's fact, the Banana is in collapse.

Fern grins, the other shareholders are disgruntled. Alicia begs Marcia: "Don't leave me in Her clutches! I just insulted her dad out there!" Told that tomorrow Lety will decide who stays and who gets fired, Luigi wraps his arms around Alicia's massive, uh, ribcage, as far as they will go; both sob as Fern smiles and waves.

In the hall the cuartel cheers, air is pumped. Alicia scowls at them as they gloat over their newly influential friend. "Lambisconas (see below)! In the novelas they also fire the gossips."

Fern slams the door in Omar's face, then both bundle into the office. Fern mopes: "Lety's a new person, she surely still detests me, she's going to fire both of us." One-note Omar suggests that a reconquest would solve this problem nicely. "Shut up for once in your life, Omar, your advice is idiotic. The wagon has left - it's too late for that." "But if you're fired today, tomorrow you can lose your car, your house, your club membership..."

Alicia is sobbing in Marcia's office. "I won't be able to sleep tonight and I can't afford a sleeping pill, much less a bottle of booze to help me forget my bad luck." Lety enters. "What are YOU doing here?" Alicia snarls. Lety asks her to clear out. "As you order, Licenciada," is the sarcastic reply, but Lety calmly ignores the sarcasm, waits for her to leave, and begins.

"From now on, Marcia, we'll have to talk together a lot and work as a team." "All you care about is getting revenge against me and Fern." "If that's what I wanted, I'd never have given the business back. I asked you to stay because the business needs you and so do I. You're fundamental." "But you hate me!" "No, I never hated you, even when you fired me, much less now." "Well, I never liked you. And what you did to me was much worse than what I did to you." "Of course it was. I shouldn't have gotten involved with Fern, and believe it or not, both you and I ended up losing." Marcia smirks as she announces: "Fern and I have resumed our relationship." (Cut to Fern, alone, dreaming of Lety.) "We're trying to put back together what you destroyed." "Congratulations. History won't repeat itself - I'm remaking my life and, truly, I don't want to be around Fern, don't worry."

The cuartel continues to speculate: who will be fired tomorrow? Surely the Oxy? They've been deprived of the inside scoop for months now and their appetite for gossip is beyond ravenous.

The Oxy says when she's fired she won't go hungry, she has important friends who've made her incredible job offers. She won't be in tears - she'll go home, sit in her Jacuzzi with ice cream and caviar and white wine, and listen to "cultured music, like Bach or Mozart or Beethoven or Paquita La Del Barrio [see below]."



She and Helmet-head then sashay in tandem over to Marcia's office. "When should I offer my resignation?" Marcia's head hurts and she doesn't want to think about it. Helmet-head wants to eat ("I'm starving!" enthuses Alicia) and invites Marcia. "Or maybe you'd rather be with Fern? ("Or maybe you're panicked he'll see Her," suggests Alicia.) "Now that She's back, you'll have to learn to manage your life well," lectures Helmet-head.

The feas have decided on a Girls Night Out with Lety to celebrate her ascension. Simon whines that he wants to go along. PM says no. Simon surmises they'll be going to an antro (which those of us following Mundo de Fieras know as a strip-joint/pole-dancing club). PM says no, it will be someplace quiet...

Meanwhile Aldo is dining at "Candelabria" with Caro, who is, distressingly, wearing ultra-tight beaded pigtails and as much makeup as Joan Rivers, almost as much as Jocelyn. [She looks like a scarecrow, who did this to her and why?] Aldo is yakking cheerfully about Lety. "I wanted to tell her right away how I've fallen so completely in love with her, but I saw she was in a difficult situation and it wasn't the right moment for a declaration." Caro says, be patient. "Yes, things have to come at their right time no matter how much we want them sooner. Love turns us into teenagers. I was always lousy at wooing women, and now especially Lety, who is so special. I don't want to upset her, I'll have to wait for exactly the right time."

The cuartel can't wait to party down. "If we leave a little early, that's ok - cause WE'RE with the PRESIDENT." Marta wonders aloud if the infamous wedding cancellation had been connected somehow to Lety's leaving, Lety makes the worried puckered-O mouth. The feas say "We'll gossip all night and you'll tell us everything."

Yazmin waits for Lopez. Seeing her, he licks his paw, rubs it over his bald head and non-existent combover, and then meatily grabs her hand with his licked paw (YECH!). He says: "I don't write the checks, but I can help ... let's go someplace we can relax." (Guácala!) Yazmin agrees.

Lety appears and tells Yazmin she'll cut a check tomorrow and take care of everything. Lopez hurries to add, "But, Yazmin, we need to discuss it anyway..."

Luigi enters and shrieks to see Lety. Hearing she's going to help Yazmin, he suggests sarcastically that they light a candle to Saint Lety.

He then tells Yazmin she can have her job back: he needs her to model underwear. Lola goes ballistic. The cuartel say Lety would have to approve a re-hiring. Luigi says "I'm completely independent and can do what I want, or I'll quit." Yazmin telephones her boyfriend, Lola's husband, whom she calls Skinny (he's aka El Cheque), to gloat; she strokes her thigh as she coos to him, dissing "the menopausal one" (Lola). Flaquito/El Cheque asks to speak to Lola. "You have to stop harrassing me, if you interfere with Yazmin getting her job back, there won't be money for the kids, blah blah..."

Lety appears and Lola complains to her about Yazmin. Lety says she has more important things to worry about. She utters the words she will use to deflect the cuartel's suppositions, requests, and demands through the rest of the episode: "Later! Later!"

Hearing that Lety will solve her problem tomorrow, Yazmin walks out on Lopez.

As Fern is slipping out of the office Marcia bustles up behind him. "Are you leaving?" "Yes, there's nothing more for me to do." "Where are you going?" "I dunno." "Alicia and your mother and I are meeting at a restaurant, do you want to join us?" "OK" "And what will you be doing before that?" "I dunno."

The cuartel charges through the hall; because Lety is with them, Marcia kisses Fern ostentatiously. Lety and Fern stare at each other. "Those two (Marcia and Fern) are so amorous!" giggles one of the girls. Marcia gets in the elevator with the Feas, expecting Fern to pile in too, but he says, "it's full, and anyway you'll probably be talking about that woman stuff." When the elevator door closes he staggers and makes a little prayer which I didn't understand.

Simon is still whinging down in reception as the cuartel emerges from the elevator discussing where they'll go to party, and how they'll manage without a car. Then Fern steps out of the elevator alone... He and Lety exchange an electric glance... The feas march between them and then away... Fern has a chance to say something to Lety... Does he? No, he does not. She follows behind the feas, slooowwwwlllyy... He had his chance.

Left behind, of course Simon continues moaning: "They say they're going somewhere quiet, but I don't believe them, you know how they are!" Fern: "It's not that I'm curious but that, that, that ... that that that... where are they going?" "I dunno, somewhere they can eat, drink, dance, make out..." "Make out??!!?" (Ligarse)

Fern continues: "Simon, you're so elegant, well dressed, perfumed, tell me, what are you going to do tonight? Want to toss down a couple whiskeys with me?" Simon got an A in impactado class, he is super thrilled, especially because Fern will pick up the tab. They discuss how good they both look, and Simon asks whether they should take his motorbike or Fern's car. Fern: "Oh, you want us to look like we're delivering pizzas?" (Simon pouts.) "Sorry, sorry, no, your bike is beautiful, precious, a veritable steed (Simon beams), but my car will be more comfortable." Spouting French and Italian, Simon combusts with pride. "From here to - the presidency!" he thought-bubbles out loud.

All the girls pile out of one taxi at some dump PM has chosen. They expect Lety to pay, but she only has 30 pesos. Why? "I left Conceptos without a cent and I've spent all my savings." They each dig up a few coins for the driver. The place looks awful. Marta says if her hubby saw it he wouldn't let her go in, but they're there, enough talk already: "So much singing and no opera! Let's go!" They tell Lety she needs a car, a super-car like her boyfriend's. "And you'll help us with loans! And you need a cellphone!" "Conceptos is in crisis. Later, later, later."

Luigi rushes into Candelabria, the restaurant where Aldo is bending Caro's ear about Lety. Delighted to see Caro, he drools a bit when introduced to Aldo and starts flirting. He flirts harder after Caro says, "My 'friend' is a world-renowned chef, Aldo Domenzain." Luigi hyperventilates, "Oh, that's lovely, I'm world-renowned also, I'm a famous movie director, I won a prize at Cannes." "I'm honored to meet you," says Aldo in a friendly manner. Luigi, emitting a fog of pheremones: "Ah, you're gorgeous, you have great skin." Aldo, graciously: "Thanks." Ruli calls and Luigi blows him off. He invites himself to have dinner with Caro and Aldo.

He turns to Caro and gushes: "You'll never believe who's the new president of Conceptos! It's the PLATYPUS! Leticia Nightmare (Padilla/Pesadilla) Solis! A horror!" And in a fatal aside to Aldo: "Oh, sorry, but the fact is she's really ugly." Aldo's eyes narrow - he lifts his chin - he starts to rise - and - oh, too bad! - the Golden Circle of Goodbye appears and the show is over. A continuación...

Lamibiscón: gluttonous, toadying, fawning. Bola de lambisconas = bunch of flatterers.

Labels: fea