Caray, Caray!

Well, Diana and Max survived the elements and are now getting back onto the boat, which miraculously survived the storm and didn't get swamped with water. Diana and Max are both exhibiting the "high-pro glow" and have completely forgotten how scary the storm was. Ah, sweet love. Their love theme plays in the background.

Aunt Yolanda is chastising Larry for being such an idiot. He needs to step up to the plate and confront his mother about making Gaby sleep in the servants' quarters. The dolt can't bring himself to confront his mother right now. "Suck it up, Larry. Gaby doesn't deserve the treatment she's been getting. Like it or not, she's your wife!" He keeps whining about Pilar and making excuses for her. I never thought I'd say this, but I've had enough of Larry and his sniveling and have zero sympathy for his plight. What a tool!

Max is dropping off Diana at her house. I noted that the Corvette apparently was not flooded in the deluge. Max must have remembered to put the top up. He and Diana are all smiles as he points out he got her home safe and sound. Lot's of "I love you's and I'll call you laters." Max, still frisky, wants a parting kiss. Diana tells him "Not here." ***My husband happened to walk into the room at this point and was disappointed to see that a guy with as much money as Max didn't spring for the Z06 Corvette.***

Diana's happiness is short lived. Just after Max drives off, who should crawl out from underneath a rock but Andres. He tells Diana "Now I understand why you stood Doc Evil and me up."

Cut to Paco's bar. F/G is still spewing venom about the Irascibles. Larry is going to pay for what he did to poor Gaby. Paco tries to reason with her and convince her to not bring Gaby into F/G's personal plot for vengeance. F/G turns on Paco. "Don't tell me what to do!"

Andres' is continuing to threaten Diana. She has two hours to show up at the hospital.

Gaby has a brief reunion with Granny. Granny tries to talk Gaby into staying home, but Gaby says she needs to return to the Irascible Mansion. Larry needs her. What Larry needs is to be hit upside the head. In walks Diana. The two sisters share a tearful hug before Gaby heads back to the mansion. Granny chastises Diana for not mentioning Gaby's wedding. "What could I do? She was already in Vegas. Granny tells Diana that F/G showed up spewing hatred and trying to suck Gaby into some sort of plan for revenge. "I'd love to talk but I've got to run." Granny—"Where have you been?" Diana makes up some lame excuse that Granny would have to be dumber than Larry to believe. And that's hard.

Max is back at the mansion and facing the Inquisition. Octave and D/M are firing questions at him about his whereabouts all day. He says he was with clients; there was some distribution problem in Los Angeles and San Francisco. D/M says she heard he was at the beach. He said met the clients at a restaurant at the beach. Max asks why all the questions. Octave tells him Peyote is a drug addict and Octave wants to send her to rehab. Max doesn't believe it. He excuses himself to go talk to Peyote. D/M tells Octave she doesn't believe a word Max said. Octave says "We'll just have to be super vigilant."

Peyote is telling Rene she can't meet him at the bar because of her mom. Rene says there's always something going on with your mom. "This time it's different" says Peyote.

Andres escorts Diana into Doc Evil's hospital room. "How kind of you to visit me," says Doc Evil. Andres says he will wait outside the room. Doc Evil says Diana can't be stupid enough to think that Max loves someone like her. Diana, who truly is stupid (but for different reasons) tells Doc Evil that Max does, in fact, love her. DE – "Do you think he would actually marry you?" D—"Yes, I do. Please don't destroy my life over some lie." Please tell me she doesn't actually think Doc Evil will say "My bad" and stop his blackmailing. Diana really is too dumb for words. Doc Evil continues to threaten Diana and Diana continues to grovel. Enough said. Did I point out that Diana shows up for her meeting with the Doc wearing a very tight fitting top and low-rise jeans with her stomach and back exposed? I guess I forgot that part. If I was her, I'd meet Doc Evil wearing curlers, no make-up, and frumpy clothes. But that's me. Diana really is rowing with one oar.

It's dinner time in the happy household de Irascible. Gaby is sitting next to Larry at the table. D/M says she refuses to sit at the same table as Gaby. "Just wait until your mother shows up." Enter Octave. O—"What is she doing here? Go back to the kitchen and eat with the staff." Lame Larry doesn't say a word. Peyote and Yolanda try to stick up for Gaby, but Octave tells them to shut up. Gaby, who has no self-esteem whatsoever, leaves the table. Max enters the room and wants to know why Gaby is leaving. Octave says Gaby is going to eat with her own class of people. Larry is a loser.

Back to the hospital room. Andres and Doc Evil are discussing Diana. There's a knock on the door. "You rang?" asks Camila who waltzes in with Sylvie. What the heck is Camila wearing? Alex, I hope you got to see this episode, since I can't begin to match your descriptions. Camila has on some sort of black tube top with an attached chain that goes around her neck, Daisy Dukes that are denim on the bottom and red on top, and FM sandals (possibly animal print) that lace up to her knees. She makes Sylvie look like Jackie O. "I see you figured out the bracelet is real." Camila has been summoned to get dirt on Diana. Sylvie squeals with delight at the thought of hearing Diana's secrets. Sylvie has a new wig. This one is a normal color at least (the last one I saw was pink); however she's got a tight white tank top and striped suspenders, an extremely short denim skirt and red tights and tall black pleather boots.

D/M is having breakfast with Octave poolside and gloating about what happened to Gaby at the dinner table the previous evening. All is going well in D/M's little world when----WHAM----up walks an attorney who says Max has filed for divorce. Guess Max has huevos after all!

Doc Evil apparently tells Camila and Sylvie that Diana tried to rob and kill him. Camila and Sylvie couldn't be happier if they'd won the lottery. "What are you going to do?" asks Doc Evil. As if he didn't know. "Run and tell Max, of course!" After they leave Doc Evil tells Andres they may not have gotten what they wanted from Diana, but at least Diana will suffer after Max dumps her.

D/M refuses to sign the divorce papers.

RM (the real Marfil) calls Max's cell phone. Granny DS happens to be walking by when it rings and answers the phone. RM tells Granny DS she needs to speak to Max. "You're both at the house, why are you calling him?" M—"The woman at the house is an imposter. You've got to tell Max." Granny DS is impactada.

Diana is plumping pillows when the doorbell rings. It's Camila and Sylvie. Sylvie points out that Diana's house is marginal. This coming from a pair dressed like a couple of slutty clowns. Yes, they sure know about class. They announce to Diana they know her dirty little secret and are on their way to tell Max. Diana gets this vapid look on her face. Come to think of it, she usually has that look on her face.

D/M and Max are fighting about the divorce papers. Octave tries to put in her two bits worth and Max tells her to stay out of it.

RM is still engaged in a conversation with Granny DS, who just doesn't quite get what's going on. Marfil is starting in with her shrill wail. Granny DS tells Marfil she's confused and puts the phone down and walks away.

More accusations and denials among Diana, Camila and Sylvie. Camila says now she knows why Diana looks so familiar. She was with Max the night Diana was arrested. Diana proclaims her innocence. Diana asks Sylvie what she's got to do with this. Sylvie tells her my cousin hates you, so I hate you too! Sylvie delivers this line with a flourish. Diana tells them they are both stupid. The squabbling continues.

D/M and Max are still fighting about the divorce papers. Granny DS walks up and tells Max he has a phone call. Max says he can't talk right now. Granny DS says the person calling says she's the real Marfil and that the other person is an imposter. Max tells Granny DS she must be mistaken. Granny DS insists she's not mistaken.

The fight among Diana, Camila and Sylvie is escalating. Granny M comes in from the kitchen carrying a broom. She calls Camila and Sylvie vampires and chases them out of the house with a broom. Shouting and insults continue to fly. Granny M turns the hose on them. Go Granny Go! Diana and Granny M share a laugh about Granny's feistiness. Granny calls Camila and Sylvie wet chickens!

Granny DS finally convinces Max to follow her to the phone. D/M is fidgeting. Octave tries to convince Max to stay and discuss the divorce, but he walks away. Octave then walks away. I'm not sure what she says to D/M. Can anyone out there help me with this? I don't know if she believes Granny or not.

Lala and Diego are gossiping in the kitchen about Octave accusing Peyote of doing drugs. Diego says he's not surprised. Lala gives a public service announcement about the evils of drugs. Diego tells Lala that Pancho and Peyote are acquainted. Lala can't believe it.

Diana and Granny M are discussing the incident with Camila and Sylvie. "Now they're going to be mad at me and tell Max I'm a bad person."

Max follows Granny DS to the bedroom. Lo and behold his phone is in pieces on the floor! Octave and D/M (who apparently is cured and ready to run a marathon after a week) are in hot pursuit. Granny DS doesn't know what happened to the phone. Octave and D/M accuse Granny DS of breaking it. D/M tells Granny DS she's senile. Granny DS swears she's telling the truth. Granny DS wants Diana to come back to the house. Did I mention Octave was at the pool wearing some gaudy black necklace and dangling earrings? Now THAT'S pool attire!

Bruno is now plumping pillows when D/M walks in. Guess who broke Max's phone?! Lots of back patting at Bruno's ingenuity. "Speaking of ingenuity, " says D/M. "Convince my sister to stay where she's at and not return to this house."

Pancho and Caramel are at the beach discussing the upcoming marriage. Caramel wants to by sheets and towels for their new life together. Pancho is humoring her. He then asks her to sneak out of the bar early tonight; they have a new shipment they have to move. Caramel wants out of the business because "one day we're going to get caught." Pancho—"Don't say that, it's bad luck. Now go and freshen up." No sooner does Caramel leave than Pancho's phone rings. It's Peyote. Pancho is delighted!

RM is mewling in that horrid voice of hers, about how Debora has taken her place and she's never going to be able to get back to the mansion. Isabel tells her with therapy, she'll be as good as new. "How long is it going to take?" cries RM.

Pancho and Peyote are saying how hot they are for each other. Peyote tells Pancho she's stuck at home because of her mom. "Call me when you're able to leave." At this point, Caramel walks out of the ocean. "Who's that you're talking to?" asks Caramel. Pancho--"Oh, just some people about tonight. I'm firming up the details." Caramel looks cranky.

Granny DS is talking to a new doll. She misses Diana. In waltzes Debora and Bruno who yell at her for telling Max that the real Marfil called. If she says one more word about it, they are going to put her in a nursing home. Debora was waving her cane as if she was going to hit Granny DS. Debora storms out and Bruno pinches Granny DS's arm. Bruno—"Yeah, like she said. Don't you dare say another word about that phone call!" Granny DS cries.

Camila comes to see Max. She tells him she has some info that's going to make him forget all about Diana.

F/G comes to Paco to apologize for being a wench and trying to stir up Gaby. Paco says Gaby doesn't have it in her to take revenge against Larry. She's young, naïve and doesn't have the strength. F/G says she understands. She is going to protect Gaby.

Octave is ranting on and on to Yolanda about her problem children. What has she done to deserve them? Wah, wah, wah. Me, me, me. Yolanda tells Octave that Peyote is the one to be most concerned about. She's doing drugs. She needs help. More public service announcements. O—"What do you know about children?"

Doc Evil has finally returned home with Andres. They are gloating about Diana's impending downfall. Andres asks Doc Evil if Camila will actually tell Max about Diana. "I'm sure she will!"

Max tells Camila he doesn't want to hear anything Camila has invented about Diana. Diana is a good woman. Pure. Camila asks him if he remembers the night they watched a woman getting arrested. That woman was Diana. Blue flashbacks to that fateful night. Max now remembers! "I told you Diana isn't the woman you think she is. You remember that night yourself!" Max asks Camila what Diana was charged with—"Attempted murder and robbery!" Max is impactado.

Roll that delightful credits footage.

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