Caray, Caray!

We are again treated to watching Doc Evil get in trouble with the hospital director for stealing drugs. For the first time, we are seeing Doc Evil squirm. He's actually almost pathetic as he's swearing he knows nothing about the drugs that were found in his office and the front pocket of his lab jacket. Camila is standing there impactada. Doc Evil is trying to convince the director it's all a trap, he's a professional and wouldn't be doing something so stupid. Diana walks in with that glassy-eyed stare of hers and watches the proceedings, as Doc Evil is suspended pending the outcome of the investigation. Doc Evil truly looks crushed. After the director and security cop leave, Doc Evil looks at Diana who vapidly shrugs her shoulders and walks out. Doc Evil is impactado!

Pancho tries to tell Diego about his new venture at Paco's bar, but Diego is clearly not interested. Diego still has that ghastly, ghoulish painting. Did I see a slight touch of mustard to go with the black, gray, white, and tan? I tried not to look too close at those scary images. Pancho asks Diego, who is clearly morose, what's wrong. ***Come folks, let's all say it in unison—D-I-A-N-A*** Pancho tells Diego he ought to be doing a better job of keeping the little woman in line. I think he suggested hitting her, if I'm not mistaken. Now there's some advice to respect! At any rate, Pancho is trying to coach his brother on the fine art of controlling women when the doorbell rings. It's Marfil and Bruno. Marfil announces that Max and Diana are deceiving him.

Max appears at Emili-Oh's apartment, ordering Emili-Oh to fix him a drink of anything available. He wants to get drunk. Emili-Oh points out it's 11 in the morning and too early to get drunk. Max slams the drink and demands another. He dramatically announces he wants to get drunk…to forget his life is porquería. (The dictionary says porquería means, filth, dirty trick, crud, junk food, douchebag, dirtbag. Take your pick. Personally I like "junk food" because it's lunchtime.)

Luscious and Little Doormat are sitting on the ledge at the beach. Luscious is asking Gaby to move back into the mansion so they can be together. "Together?" asks Gaby incredulously. "I thought you wanted us to get divorced so you and Pilar can be together." L—"Pilar doesn't interest me. I've missed you and think about you every day. I am crazy in love with you!" Just as Luscious is moving in for a kiss, and I'm about to get some satisfaction from this pair of star-crossed lovers, Kike shows up and ruins everything. Kike yells at Larry to leave Gaby alone. Poor Little Doormat, will she ever get to kiss Luscious again? I'm sure routing for her!

Back to the boring scene between Marfil and Diego (with Bruno and Pancho as witnesses). Marfil says Diego's wife is an adulterer and a hypocrite, who is having an affair with Max behind Diego's back. Diana doesn't love Diego, she just pities him. Pancho tells her to quit agitating his brother and leave. Diego slides nicely into his victim role and dramatic music swells in the background. Diego then does his best imitation of "The Thinker."

Back to the scene among Luscious, Gaby, and Kike. I swear they were talking faster than a 33 rpm record set at 78 (for all us old folks out here). I think Kike was trying to convince Gaby that Larry is just using her to get back at Pilar for standing him up. Larry tells Gaby not to listen to Kike. He loves her and wants her to come back to the mansion where he will present her to the family and make them give her the respect she should have had all along. Poor Little Doormat doesn't know who to believe.

Back to Marfil telling Diego he's a cuckold, Diego getting crankier, Pancho telling Marfil and Bruno to leave. Blah, blah, blah. Marfil walks out after announcing that Max and Diana are making jokes out of her and Diego. As Pancho is pushing them out the door, he refers to Bruno as a scarecrow. Bruno pinches Pancho's bicep and says something about, "This scarecrow could be your grandmother!" They finally leave. Diego then says "I knew it! I knew it! Diana is deceiving me with the father of her son!" and starts on his usual tirade.

Max is now drunk and whining about how miserable his life is. He wants to go to a bar and drink some more. Emili-Oh tells him they can be roommates; he has an extra room now that Sylvie and Camila are gone. Max slurs about how he lost Diana, his mother is a lying, cheating, sea hag who managed to send an innocent woman to jail, and his father is a killer. Oh, it sucks to be Max! He tells Emili-Oh he just wants to die!

Big Doormat and Octave are re-hashing the usual, when Lala interrupts them to say the police are there with an order to search the house.

Doc Evil is grabbing Diana's arm as she's walking away. He accuses her planting the drugs to get him in trouble. Diana reminds him of his past actions against her. Doc Evil is furious. Diana calmly tells him she is going to destroy her enemies one by one, and he's already beginning to fall. She walks away and Doc Evil stands there seething.

Larry is still professing his sincerity in wanting Gaby to move back to the mansion. Kike is basically saying you had your chance, you blew it. "Gaby is with me now." Gaby pipes up and sadly tells Larry she came to the beach because Kike invited her. She doesn't want to move back to the mansion. "Trog-the-Neanderthal" tries the unsuccessful, "I'm ordering you to return to the mansion with me! I'm your husband!" Little Doormat looks apologetic. Kike takes Little Doormat's hand and walks her away. Trog looks crushed and ready to cry. Never fear, Pilar is all too ready gloat that he's been stood up again. Dramatic music plays.

The police have shown up with a search warrant. Octave is furious! "I am a woman of high society! You can't do this!" Alas, they can. They tell her they're looking for the gun that killed Reynoso. Peyote walks in looking like Daisy Duke in her little midriff top and denim mini-skirt. Or is it Daisy Mae from Li'l Abner. Hard to differentiate.

Andres and Camila are discussing Diana taking revenge on Doc Evil. It's only a matter of time until she comes after them. Diana walks up and Camila pushes her and accuses her of setting up Doc Evil. Diana challenges her to "Prove it. I learned from you!" Diana tells them they are both high on her list of enemies as well, and walks off. ***Diana seems too bland and clueless to actually be taking vengeance. What a goofy plot line!***

Max is still babbling about Diana and the baby. Emili-Oh looks bored. I know I am.

Kike is filling Little Doormat's head full of lies about Luscious. He used her, etc. Little Doormat is having a hard time accepting it, but true to her name, seems to believe what Kike is telling her.

Octave flashes back to throwing the gun in the water at the marina. She tells herself no one will ever find the murder weapon. After a 30-second search, the uniformed officer tells the detective he couldn't find the gun. Octave says the search was unjust. The detective says he was just following procedures. These teleMiami cops aren't remotely like any of the real Miami homicide detectives from A&E's "The First 48." I love those guys! At any rate, Peyote asks Octave if she killed Reynoso. Octave tells Peyote to go to her room. Octave then tells Lala and Nancy to go to the kitchen. Peyote tries to object but Octave tells her "multiplicate por cero" and leave.

Diana tells F/G that she followed her instructions regarding Doc Evil and it all worked out as planned, however she doesn't feel right about it. F/G tells her she's doing what needs to be done. F/G is as psychotic as Octave; those two deserve one another!

Marfil announces to Bruno she's going to the hospital to talk to Andres about the scandal with Max. Bruno asks if she should come along, but Marfil firmly states "NO!" Bruno still can't figure out if this is Marfil or Debora.

Diana is talking to The Virgin and apologizing for being a spiteful wench who is taking revenge on all the people who've "done her wrong." ***Correct me if I'm wrong, but I find it hard to believe The Virgin would condone Diana's activities.***

Max is lying on Emili-Oh's sofa dreaming of Diana. He keeps calling out her name while their theme song plays. Flashbacks to happier days. . .

Pancho tries to get Diego to drink some "sugar water" to calm his nerves. Pancho basically tells Diego "I told you so! You never should have married Diana. You need to hate her!" Diego snivels that he's tried but he can't do it. He knows he should, but he loves her with all of his soul.

Marfil shows up at the hospital and sees Andres. Andres wants to know if she's his sister-in-law or wife. Andres finally figures out he's talking to the real Marfil and wants to know what happened to Debora. Marfil can't be bothered with exchanging niceties. She wants to see Diana NOW—no one is going to make a fool out of her! In walks Diana. . .

Caramel is telling Jorge how she wants the bar set up for Ladies' Night. Paco walks in and is talking on the cell phone. Apparently he wants to buy a bar in Key West. Caramel overhears the conversation and becomes very excited. Now Pancho can run one of the bars. Paco nixes that idea; he still doesn't trust Pancho. Caramel's says Paco is underestimating her brainiac husband. Paco just hopes that "Ladies' Night" doesn't end in a scandal.

Pancho answers his cell phone. It's Peyote saying, "Pancho, take me away!" He says he can't because right now he's with his brother, who needs him. Later on he's working at his "Fath—I mean friend's bar" and can't get away. Good save on Pancho's part; Peyote is too upset to realize he almost said "Father-in-law's bar." She hates her family and living at the house is miserable. She needs him. Peyote then reminds him of their wedding the following day. "You're not going to stand me up are you?"

Marfil and Diana are trying to threaten each other. What a lame scene. Emili-Oh calls Marfil to say that Max is at her apartment drunk. Marfil says something about making love to Max and Diana walks off. I didn't fully get the exchange, but I don’t think it really matters.

Peyote tells Yolanda she's going out for the evening alone. Yolanda thinks Peyote should go with Rene. He's a good man. Yolanda then starts pointing out his qualities. Peyote isn't interested. I think Peyote tells Yolanda to quit listing his qualities. If Yolanda thinks so much of him, she should marry him.

Octave answers the phone in her room. ***Did I mention Octave is wearing some gold lamé top? The lamé is lame!*** It's F/G saying, "It's me, your worst nightmare! Start packing your bags because a judge is going to evict you from MY house!" Octave is impactada and throws the phone on the bed.

It's Ladies' Night at Paco's Bar. There are more women in the audience than people at that dopey party at Psycho Mansion. There are maybe 20 women in the audience! Caramel and Pancho are doing their best to get the crowd all fired up. Finally the male strippers come out. Unfortunately, we only get to see them for three seconds before we cut to Paco's office where he's telling F/G he's thinking of buying a bar in Key West and wants her to go with him to check it out. It could be a 2-week vacation for them. Of course, F/G is too caught up in her own selfish endeavors to even think about leaving Miami. Caramel bursts into the office at this point to tell Paco the place is jumping and the night is going to be a huge success thanks to Pancho's idea!

Marfil shows up at Emili-Oh's apartment to claim her husband. He is still passed out on the sofa. As Marfil wakes him up, Max asks "What happened?" "That's what I want to know!" yells Marfil. Max tells her he has a headache and to leave him alone. Marfil accuses him of going to the hospital to see Diana. Max says he can go anywhere he likes and there's nothing Marfil can do about it. He then repeats he just wants to be left alone! Marfil has tears streaming down her face; she can't believe Max has left her for that tramp. Commercial break!

Back to Max and Marfil. Max (still in that nasty pink top) is defending Diana and telling Marfil how much he loves Diana. Marfil threatens to go to the hospital and have her fired. Max goes on to say there is a huge chasm between Marfil and Diana. Diana is "light and clarity," while Marfil is "darkness and misery." Marfil is furious she is being compared to Diana. Max tells her to leave.

We have a brief glimpse of the strippers before the camera pans to Camila, Sylvie, and their posse. Sylvie seems to have recovered from her embarrassment, and is now sporting a wig that looks like it's made out of fiber optics. It sticks up and out, and I half expect the ends of the strands to have lights. Camila looks like Sheena, Jungle Fiera, in her short leopard print dress and knee high go-go boots. Peyote is with them. Suddenly Peyote recognizes the Master of Ceremonies. It's Panchalon!

Max and Marfil are still fighting, but thankfully, Marfil is lowering her voice versus screeching. Max tells her again to leave. Marfil says it's Emili-Oh's apartment and he can't make her. Max announces that he lives there now and orders her once again to get out. Marfil says, "Fine. I'm going. But you and Diana are going to be sorry!" Marfil finally walks out and Emili-Oh apologizes to Max for calling Marfil. Max says, "Don't worry about it, buddy." Emili-Oh wants to know if it's true that Max is moving in. Max tells him Psycho Mansion is a true inferno. At this moment, however, he wants to be with his family.

Granny M walks into the living room and wants to know why Gaby looks so sad. Didn't she have a good time at the beach? "Yes," says Gaby. Then she adds, "More or less. I saw Larry!" Granny M is asking how long Gaby must suffer because of Larry. Just as Granny M is trying to soothe Gaby, Diana walks in all smiles. Granny M wants to hear all about her first day on the job. ***I didn't realize this was day one. Now I REALLY have a problem with Diana setting up Doc Evil. Why would you do something so stupid on your first day on the job? Plot holes wide enough to sail a cruise ship through!*** At any rate, Diana wants to see the baby before telling them all about her day. Diego is in the room still looking morose as always. Diana is fawning over the baby. Diego wants Diana to tell him about seeing her baby's father at the hospital.

Credits roll.

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