Caray, Caray!

The episode begins right where Friday’s left off……Esmeralda and Almudena are talking about Esme’s pregnancy while Mariangel/Mangle listens outside the room. She’s very impactada and enojada. Esme and Dena talk about some pretty incriminating things…freeing Esme’s mother and Esme taking off to places unknown once her mother’s free. Esme tells Dena that she plans on sending word to Diego once she’s escaped. She’ll tell him then that she’s pregnant and she’ll tell him where she’s at so he can join her. This makes Mangle even angrier (más enojada).

Meanwhile, at Callao Prison, Montero and Fernando are in the midst of a deep discussion and unbeknownst to them, Zorro is literally hanging outside their window listening to their conversation. Monty tells FS that he is not willing to destroy his career to help Fernando. FS wants to know what is Monty’s price---is it money, power? What it is? Monty acts all righteous and says that he is offended. Fernando pulls out all the stops and tells Monty that he’ll tell him the truth about Sara Kali/Mercedes in exchange for Monty to not sell him out to the Viceroy (VCR). FS says he’ll even tell why the Crown wants to find her. FS says that Sara Kali is really Mercedes. She’s not a gypsy woman, she is Spanish. She is the daughter of a woman who disappeared years before. Mercedes is related to royalty and that there is a great reward to find her. This intrigues Monty. He asks about the mask? FS says don’t worry, it is paper mache and actually very light for her to tote around on her head. Monty says that the mouth flap looks ridiculous and FS says the whole idea behind the mask was, well, he really doesn’t say. OK, in reality all he could say about the mask was that it was a drastic measure (I’ll say, paper mache or not, hiding her face is just plain mean---but the mask isn't as drastic as say, THROWING your wife in PRISON!!!). FS tells Monty that Mercedes/SK is the heiress to a lot of money and there are people who are willing to prevent her from getting her hands on her inheritance. Monty asks about VCR, why is he after SK? FS says he’s looking for her because he wants to kill her. FS goes on to say that there is a pretty powerful noble behind the effort to locate SK, he can’t say who, but he’s VERY powerful. As an incentive to not tell VCR about SK in the prison, FS goes on to warn Monty that people who know about SK end up dead. At first I thought this was he’s way of saying that the VCR will use Monty to find SK and then have Monty killed once he knows SK’s exact location, but then FS reminds Monty about the VCR’s inspector. Since it was FS who killed that guy, I can only think that FS was giving Monty a not so thinly veiled threat, or maybe it was a mix of both---kinda like "if he doesn't get you, I will". Monty chooses this time to make his exit and Fernando stands at the window, muttering to himself (much better than inner dialogue because that way Zorro can hear it). He says that there is no way that Monty will get any of Mercedes’ money. He calls Monty an imbecile. I loved it.

Mangle has returned to the party, still angry. She grabs for a drink and here’s hoping this is the start of an alcoholism arch to the story….I can just see it now, it starts out as a way to numb the pain because she’s in a loveless marriage and sooner than you can say martini, she’ll start drinking before noon. She’ll become totally depended on the sauce to help her get through the day and all she wants to do is feel no emotion. Her only real friend is found in a bottle. And because she is such a hateful character, nobody cares enough to set up an intervention……well a girl can dream can’t she. OK, so she has one drink (it has to start somewhere, all I’m saying). She runs into Dena, and offers up a toast to their joint wedding. She finds Dolores and wants to know if she’s seen Diego anywhere. Dolores says no and Mangle orders her to find him (I actually think that's the last we see of Dolores, except for her tending to guests in the background, so she obviously doesn't give a fink what Mangle tells her to do).

Olmos finds Esme in the crowd at the reception. He tells her that SK was hidden from VCR and Esme’s glad to hear this. Olmos ends their tete a tete by telling Esme that if she does what he says, soon they will have SK free from prison.

Tobias and Catalina arrive at the party with the Maestro in tow. Esme sees the Maestro and wonders who he could be. Tobi tries to pass the Maestro off as his uncle and wants no one to know that the Maestro is a fencing instructor. Meanwhile the Maestro is like any good wedding crasher, he’s taking advantage of the free eats---stuffing his face with whatever he finds. Tobi is concerned and warns him to not over indulge, he’ll explode. Then with some wonderful onomonopiea he tells him his stomach will go boomba, boomba, boomba.

Olmos, who knows that Tobi had sent away for the Maestro, gets Mangle aside and tells her that soon he’ll be able to fulfill a promise he made to her. Mangle wants to know what promise (he's apparently made a few to her, I guess) and Olmos tells her that she’ll soon know Zorro’s true identity. He fills Mangle in on the Maestro’s background. Mangle tells Olmos to not let them catch Zorro. She orders Olmos to buy their (Tobi and Maestro) silence. She insinuates that Olmos will get a piece of her if he is a very good boy. She caresses her bosom with a rosebud to make her point.

Outside Callao Prison, VCR is in his carriage, ready to leave when we are treated to a wonderful gymnastic display from Zorro. He’s doing back flips and vaulting off of the carriage. It is very impressive (the Columbian Judge gives him a 10, but the Russian Judge only a 9.8, and the French Judge, well, he only gives a 9.0). Zorro takes the opportunity to put the tip of his sword to the VCR’s neck and orders that the soldiers stand down. Zorro wants a little bling and has the VCR hand over his gold chain (cadena de oro---at first I thought he said leon de oro and I thought wait a minute, that's from La Fea). VCR takes the time to get to know Zorro better, he asks him “so what do you do?” (good interpersonal conversation technique to get someone to talk about themselves---it really opens up conversation). Zorro says that his job is to protect the weak of Los Angeles from the injustices done by Commander Montero and Governor Sanchez. VCR asks if Zorro is responsible for the murder of his inspector. Zorro says no he’s not, but he knows who is. He points at Montero (more Monty than FS, but both were in the same general direction). We are then treated to a little rock ‘em sock ‘em robot action between Zorro and the soldiers. I would like to take this time to ask why none of these soldiers seem to be carrying a pistol or any other firearm? Anyway, Zorro pulls out some nifty stuff from his bag of tricks, he’s got smoke bombs (which look a lot like the picture of the bombs on the Stratego game pieces---now there’s a game I haven’t played in ages). He throws them down and in the confusion of the smoke, he makes it up to the rooftop (we don’t get to see any more gymnastic routines-bummer). With a wave to the soldiers he’s off.

OK now it is opening credits….a lot happened in that first segment.

At the nunnery, Sister Supplicios/Psycho Sister/ Nutty Nun is in line to get food. She causes quite the stir when she asks for a full plate of food. She’s not getting her usual order of broth. Then she tells the other nuns she’s going to eat in her room. Now, this seems like some classic bulimic tell tale signs, but we’re back in Spanish Los Angeles and they haven’t seen the afterschool special about this, so it causes nothing but a "how strange" from the other nuns. In fact, the thing they are most shocked about is that Nutty wasn’t grouchy with them. Back in her room, Camba (?) is still in the towel, hiding under Nutty’s bed. She gives him the food and he just digs right into it. She talks about how pure Camba looks----I think his eyes are kinda like a puppy. Nutty starts a little soliloquy about how God hasn’t listened to her, how she’s a bad person who sought refuge in the convent and all she wants is to find help. She cries on Camba’s shoulder.

Over in the rectory, Padre Tomas and the Cardinal are having a little chat about Maria Pia while PT whittles away on a pretty elaborate crucifix. They rehash what has gone on with MP taking a break from the sisterhood. TC asks if PT thinks MP is in love with Fernando. PT says he thinks she’s in love with the memory. TC, thinking only about how this might impact him, asks who will be mother superior if they lose MP. PT says give her time. TC but if she doesn’t come back around he’s got some ideas on what traits the new MS candidate will have to have. Surprisingly, he doesn’t start his list with - she most not still be in love with a man who she was going to marry years before. Instead he says the new MS will have to be firm with the nuns and some other unimportant (to me) traits. For some reason, which I wasn’t able to figure out, this segment ends with PT having a very concerned look on his face. Perhaps he doesn’t like TC giving up on Maria Pia so quickly, I don’t know.

Zorro/Diego returns to the Bat Cave. He meets Bernardo and fills him in on what’s happened—the VCR is trouble and he (Diego) needs to talk to Esme. We are only given a brief rehash, I can only assume that he’ll be rehashing in greater detail later. Diego tells Bernie that he knows his father has been wondering where he disappeared to, but he really needs to talk to Esme. Diego tells Bernie to go get Esme and bring her up to his room and to also find some compresses (Did he get injured while he was performing his acrobatic feats!!! No puede ser!!).

After commercial break, we see Diego in his bed (fully clothed, bummer) with a compress on his head. Alejandro enters with Bernie and Diego fakes being sick. He asks Diego what’s wrong. Diego tells him that he aches to his bones, his head hurts and he believes he has a fever. Just like parents throughout time have been able to detect, Al isn’t falling for this fake illness. He tells Diego that Mangle has been looking for him. Diego tells him to have Dolores take Mangle to the room that was prepared for both of them, Diego will remain here in his old room. Al asks if Diego if he’ll be sleeping with Mangle. Not tonight, Diego answers. Al decides that now is the time to give Diego the birds and the bees lecture, but with an unique twist. Al tells Diego that he has certain obligations as a husband and that if he doesn’t sleep with Mangle, she’s going to be hurt. He goes on to say that he knows Diego married her to keep up the de la Vega name and honor, but he has to take care of the ladies (that's right, Al knows all about takin' care of the ladies). Diego listens, but then asks Al not to send Mangle to take care of him. Al agrees and leaves and Diego sends Bernie to get Esme. After Bernie leaves, Diego says he’s going to make Mangle regret that she married him (he didn’t say this meanly, just matter of fact).

Downstairs, Maria Pia and Dena review the recent events in MP’s life. MP tells Dena she’s decided to get her life back, the time she lost with Fernando because she “mistakenly” accused him of something he didn’t do. So she’s decided to give FS another chance. Dena says, look I know he’s my brother but are you sure you know what you are doing? MP says that Fernando wants to change, she knows he has a dark past, but he’s willing to change and she’s willing to give him a chance. I just think that if it is his own sister warning you, perhaps that should be a red flag, just a thought (and I like Fernando).

The VCR is scolding Fernando and Monty about being robbed by Zorro right in front of them. He is disgusted that all of those soldiers were unable to do anything to stop Zorro and they let Zorro get away---cut them some slack, he had smoke bombs for Pete’s sake!! The VCR whines about his stolen necklace and then rehashes that Zorro indicated that Monty and Fernando were the one’s responsible for the inspector’s death. The VCR is so angry, he tells Monty that he’s decided to stay and run Callao Prison (talk about micromanaging). He’s going to have his secretary review the prison accounts and records. He asks to speak to Monty alone. He tries to get Monty to crack and repeats his offer of power and prestige in exchange for SK. Monty tells him that there is no woman in Callao. VCR tells him he knows he’s lying. Oh yeah, VCR says, your men best find Zorro ASAP, because if my men find him first I’m going to appoint him to be the new military commander. This does not make Monty happy….and in Los Angeles, if Monty isn’t happy then no one is happy.

The soldier that Olmos paid off (can't remember his name, but he has curly hair--if that helps) sends a lot of food into SK’s sewer (gross, just even typing the sentence makes me want to hurl). He tells her that’s going to have to keep her and Hermes for awhile, they need to keep her hidden longer, so make the food last. He starts to mortar up the sewer opening.

Mangle and Cat are talking about nothing, pretty much nonsense. Mangle sees Bernie get Esme’s attention and her leave. Mangle walks away from Cat, because they weren’t saying anything of importance and starts to follow Esme. Dena stops her. The two women rehash some about the Mangle-Diego-Esme triangle. Dena tells Mangle to stop playing the role of victim, they both know she worked it so Diego was forced to marry her. Mangle whines some about Esme and how Diego refuses to forget her. Mangle makes some rude comment about Esme and Dena tells her enough. Mangle is angry that she doesn’t even get the support of her own family (you get what you give, sister).

Bernie leads Esme to Diego’s room. She enters and Diego has eyes just for her. Bernie has to knock on the door several times to get Diego’s attention. They agree that Bernie will stand as lookout and he’ll knock on the door three times for a warning. Bernie leaves and closes the door and Esme and Diego end up in a passionate kiss (YIPPEE!!!! this and Fernando and Lety on La Fea in one night, I’m a happy camper). The couple exchange loving words and then Diego tells Esme about what he heard outside the window. He says that SK is related by blood to the Spanish Crown. Esme can’t believe it. Diego says that he has no idea if FS was telling Monty the truth, but he thinks it all makes sense. He warns Esme not to do anything dangerous.

Down in the now enclosed sewer, Hermes and Sara Kali have a little fire going, where they got the wood and matches is anyone’s guess. Besides, a fire in an enclosed space doesn’t seem to be the safest thing, but I digress. Hermes has found a nail and he’s going to pick the lock on SK’s mask. I don’t think he’ll have too much difficulty because I’m sure the lock is also made of paper mache.

Back upstairs, the VCR is gone and Pizarro fills Monty and Fernando in on what they’ve done to keep SK hidden. Fernando tells the men that as long as they take care of Mercedes, they’ll be taken care of (but we know differently, don’t we).

At casa de los de la Vega, Al and Maria Pia are having a brother/sister chat. Al is happy to see that MP is happy. She’s happy because her life is on a new course. Al questions if her new path is due to love? Dena interrupts to tell Al that it appears that Monty is coming. She pulls Al aside and tells him that Diego and Esme are meeting upstairs. Al tells her to go warn the couple and he’ll hold off Monty. Dena heads to Diego’s room and passes on the warning. Diego and Esme linger a bit with their goodbyes. Dena tells Esme she’s got to be careful with Monty and suggests that Diego remain upstairs to avoid running into the man. Diego tells her that he’s capable of being a gentleman.

Esme and Dena go downstairs. Al tells them Monty hasn’t arrived yet. Al and Esme exchange some complimentary words---it’s a mutual admiration society meeting. Esme asks Al to take care of Dena and Al tells Esme that she’ll always be part of their family (if he only knew the full extent).

Mangle runs out to meet Monty’s carriage, Fernando’s with him. Monty tells his soldiers to stand guard and Fernando leaves to go into the hacienda. Pizarro follows him inside. He (Piza) runs into Tobi right away and Tobi introduces him to the Maestro. Pizarro is shocked that this man is the illustrious Maestro. At this precise moment, the Maestro has developed some digestional problems and needs to leave.

Outside, Monty and Mangle are alone. They share a passionate kiss. Monty wants to take things further because he wants the thrill of having Mangle first on her wedding day, before Diego gets a chance (funny thing about that Monty, Diego will never lay a finger on her, so there is no rush). Mangle gets Monty to stop. She tells him she’s got some news regarding his wife that will either wreck his night or make him very happy—it depends on him. CUE MUSIC/ CREDITS

Labels: Zorro