Caray, Caray!

When last we saw Fernando and Lety, Fernando was asking Lety to tell him the truth--that she's still in love with him. Fernando was telling Lety he can't live without her. They were leaning in for a kiss and then…

Then they toy with all of us by springing apart (complete with springing noise) like a couple of magnets with the same poles facing. I actually think I heard a collective groan going up from homes all around the metro area…or maybe that was just me. Lety quite defensively tells Fernando that he's wrong, she's in love with Aldo and she's very happy with him. Fernando says not to pay attention to him, imagine he's not there, he never said anything, he knows she has a good relationship with Aldo and hey, she knows him, he's impulsive…see what he did with this television program? Lety tells him again it's all going to turn out ok. Fernando said he let his emotions get away with him because she was showing such solidarity with him. He says he thinks he's not keeping his promise to leave her in peace to live her life and to accept her decision and that he's been trying (emphasis on trying) with all his strength. Lety says she understands and he shouldn't apologize. Fernando leaves to see how Marcia's doing with getting the meeting together. Lety starts to call him back, but changes her mind and lets him go.

Out in the Gossip Zone, the Cuartel are fighting over the prizes they won for finding the Mujer Misteriosa. Aldo comes in and listens to them fighting for a few seconds, then whistles to get their attention and asks why the lovely ladies are fighting because he's never heard them fight like this. Aldo asks them to take deep breaths, imagine the sea, calm down, and then discuss the matter calmly. After a few deep breaths, the ladies are calmer and there are hugs all around.

In the boardroom, Lety, Fernando, Marcia, Omar, and Luigi are lamenting their lack of ideas. Omar wants to bring Aurora into the meeting for inspiration. Caro remembers her hot kiss with Omar and then berates Omar for not being able to forget about Aurora. The entire room sees through her grouchiness and ay-yiiiii's her about it. Aldo comes into the meeting and Luigi tells Fernando to tell Aldo what kind of mess he's gotten them into. Fernando tells the room that he's about to give Aldo back 50% of what he owes. Aldo asks Lety what the problem is and Lety says it's nothing, it's got a solution just like any other problem. Aldo says since they're all being so friendly, why don't they tell him what happened.

Out in the GZ, PM says it's el colmo (the limit, the last straw, the living end) that Aldo had to come scold them to get them to stop fighting. They decide they're sharing the dinner with Colunga (although Marta gripes about possibly having to split the meal into six measly parts). To decide who goes on the trip for 2 to Acapulco, they're picking slips of paper out of a cup. PM wins and asks Saimon to go with her to celebrate their reconciliation. It must be noted that Saimon comes into the GZ like one of the knights from Monty Python, but without the coconut shells. He quite gladly accepts PM's invitation.

Aldo wants to know if they actually have an idea about the TV show or not? The correct answer is "no," but since this scene is filler (you know it, I know it, the writers know it) it drags on for a while. Omar actually makes a decent suggestion, that it be a telenovela--since the target markets for fashion and telenovelas are pretty much the same. Then he goes on to suggest that the plot be a story of impossible love starring…"AURORA," the entire room chimes in, unenthusiastically. Lety suggests a comedy starring an ugly woman. Marcia suggests a story about a woman who can't marry the love of her life, but ends up living with him when they both become poor. Luigi suggests the story of a creative director, who is gay, of course, and well, if they'd like to base it on Luigi, he thinks that's ok. Omar asks Aldo if he'd like to do a program about cooking and Aldo says "no." Fernando suggests an homage to the great seducers, the honorable Casanovas of all time. *sigh* That's probably more time than I should have spent on that scene. Anyone else have suggestions? I think they should do a steamy telenovela about recappers. Cause our lives are pretty damn hot … seriously … somebody back me up here.

Fernando is in the Bat Cave, typing something that makes him think he's a genius. Then he rips up some stuff he'd printed earlier, saying it's no good anymore. He says he needs collaborators to help him aterrizar (typically means "land," but apparently also to "set down") his idea about the Casanovas. Lety comes in and tells him it's really late and isn't he going home to rest? Fernando says he wants to finish what he's doing first. Aldo comes in and asks if Lety's ready to go. Lety (quite unnecessarily) tells Fernando that Aldo invited her to dinner because he's prepared something special that he wants to share with her. Aldo asks Fernando how he's doing. Fernando says he's fine, just too much information (see, told you!), he tells them to go on, have fun, he can work alone, don't worry about him, he'll concentrate better with less noise. He goes back to typing as he says aloud, "and fun about the great seducers of history" before he realizes they haven't left yet. Lety asks Aldo if he'd mind if she stays and works with Fernando since it's such an urgent project and they still haven't figured out what the program is about. Fernando tells her to go, but Lety says she's the president, she's responsible for this company, and she can't just leave and eat a gusto (as she likes; comfortably) while he works. Aldo tells her to stay and don't worry, he knows the project is important for the company. Fernando looks away and types some more as Aldo kisses Lety goodbye. Fernando says he doesn't have a chair to offer her, but she can sit on his desk, then he says, "that's my boss!" and gets a bit handsy, including acting like he's taking a bite out of her arm, before he backs off and goes back to typing, "the kisses have llegaron a recrear…" Lety sings, "aquí en mi boca" (gone so far as to recreate, here in my mouth). Fernando says that's a good idea, but Lety says it's a song, so it won't work.

At PM's apartment, she's telling her son she's tried finding a father for him, but it's hard work and it's not that she lacks the ganas (a combination of wanting and willing in this context) to do it or that it's because she can't get a man, but the thing is….He asks if she's gotten him a dad and goes to open the door to Saimon, who announces that the party has arrived. Saimon asks the kid for permission to…. The kid asks if he's going to marry PM, but Saimon balks. Still, the kid hugs Saimon and tells PM he's the best dad she could have gotten him. Is he really? She couldn't spring for a better version? Saimon brought the kid a model airplane for a present, but the kid says that the most important thing is that Saimon is there.

At Casa Tomás, Tomás is hugging Alicia and reminding her that they're just one step away from their wedding. He sighs with happiness and Alicia sighs with…well, something else, but I'm not sure exactly what.

And now, let the wedding nonsense begin. A crowd is gathered outside the church. The Cuartel are wearing coordinating outfits that include a fabric that looks something like camouflage tie-dyed chiffon. They're wondering if La Oxi will actually go through with it and Irma tells them not to tempt fate by talking about it. Lety and Aldo show up and dear sweet heaven, what is Lety wearing? A black turtleneck, a tan linen(?) tank dress, and a brown and black coat in some kind of pattern. This is how she dresses to her BFF's wedding? Granted, he's marrying Alicia, but still. Lety teases the Cuartel about showing up on time for the wedding, but not for work. They joke around and Lety's dad scolds them for it. Tomás and his Mama show up and Aldo asks him for a word. Aldo reminds him he should be enjoying this day, but Tomás is worried that Alicia's dad hasn't shown up and he's supposed to pay for half of everything. Lety's mom tells Tomama that she's looking quite excited. Tomama says that at first Alicia le daba como mala espina (made her feel uneasy), but later she realized she's the perfect woman for her Tomás, she's transparente (open), honest, como dios manda (as God orders). The Cuartel choke on their laughter.

Omar and Fernando are at the Bachelor Pad complaining about not wanting to go to the wedding. Omar is wishing that Aurora had agreed to go with him. Show of hands…who would like Omar never to say the name "Aurora" ever again? Fernando wants Omar to forget that woman and pay attention to work, seeing as how they've got a paquetote encima (big punishment hanging over them). Omar wants to know what the big deal is since Fernando finished his guioncito (little script). Fernando says, it's done, but it's probably no good since he's not a writer. Well, there's a thought, they could hire a writer. Fernando is grouchy because Marcia's taking so long to get ready. He shouts, "Marcia are you ready yet?" and Marcia replies "Ya voy!" (I'm coming) Fernando says that's the 28th time she's said "ya voy" and asks if Omar wants to hear the twenty-ninth. He shouts for Marcia again and she obligingly yells back, "Ya voy!" and the boys have a laugh. Fernando tells Omar he's an idiot and Omar wants to know what for this time. Fernando supposes that maybe Omar was dropped as a child like Ariel was, just with different effects. Omar says he doesn't believe it, but he looks doubtful.

The executioner, digo, the priest, comes out to the steps of the church to tell everybody that it's time. The Cuartel start talking smack about Alicia within earshot of Tomama, which doesn't sit well with her. They let slip that Alicia is divorced. Tomás knows his mom is hearing the whole thing, but rather than tell them to shut it, or hustle his mom out of there, he tries giving her a big smile. Tomama mutters that Alicia deceived her. People are starting to shout that Alicia has arrived. Tomama mutters that Alicia is going to pay.

Alicia walks down the aisle on the arm of Luigi, who says he's not sure if he wants to cry from fear or excitement. Luigi tells Tomás that he hopes he makes Alicia happy or else (he motions that he'll scratch Tomás…not much of a threat coming from Luigi, but if my cat did that I'd feel the fear.) Luigi goes over to take his place on the bride's side of the aisle as Marcia straightens out Alicia's train. Gotta take a moment here to describe Alicia's dress. She's wearing bright, satin-y white. The bodice is very tight, por supuesto, deep-v, off the shoulder. The girls are pushed up about as high as they can go without being right in her face. The skirt looks like an A-line, not meringue-y at all, with about a 6-foot train and embroidery and/or beading from about the knee down and down the train. She's wearing a tiara and dangly diamond (ok, probably CZ) earrings; no necklace. The veil is just a big poof with a shorter section covering her face and the longer section hanging down the back to about knee-length. Her hair is up, probably in a French twist. She's wearing elbow length gloves sprinkled with pearls. I kid you not, except for the excessive boobage, this is the classiest I've ever seen her. Oh, not to leave out the groom, he's in a black tux with a grey ascot and he did get some new glasses, much smaller ones. Now, if only someone had done something about his hair! Anyway, on with el show. After Luigi completes the handoff, Tomás asks about Alicia's dad again, but Alicia drags him up to the chopping block, digo, altar and they kneel. We get a montage of the guests as "Ave Maria" plays: Luigi looking verklempt; Tomama looking angry and sad; Alicia looking at Tomás; Tomás looking at Alicia; Aldo and Lety looking at each other; Fernando looking at Aldo and Lety looking at each other; Lety's dad looking constipated; Caro and Omar grinning at each other; Marcia smiling beatifically (she looks hot, by the way--the hair alone was definitely worth the time, kind of a semi-updo with a lot of cascading curls); Lety looking at Aldo again and Fernando looking at Lety wistfully. The priest asks if anyone knows of any reason why these two, etc. and Tomama kind of moans and starts to leave the church, but she turns around and says she has one as she marches back up the aisle and pulls Tomás away from Alicia. Alicia is impactada and lifts her veil to stare at Tomama. Commercial!

When we return, Tomama is pushing Tomás into a room adjacent to the altar. The priest, Tomás, Tomama, and Alicia are all there, under the watchful eye of the Virgen, as Alicia wonders what's up and protests that the cuernos she made were perfect. Tomama cites Alicia's divorce as the reason she can't marry Tomás. Of course, she doesn't do this right away--we have to get some shots of the shocked guests, the Cuartel engaging in schadenfreude (that would be German for taking joy in the pain of others), Luigi wondering what Alicia has to do to get a man to maintain her, Marcia telling Luigi if he wants to help he should shut up and pray! Lety is saying "pobre de Tomás" as Fernando (who is sitting right behind her and Aldo) butts in to say that marriage is a big step that can't be taken lightly. Lety snaps at him and then tells Aldo marriage isn't difficult…just look at her parents. Tomás is actually doing a decent job of showing some spine and saying he's an adult and he wants to marry Alicia. Tomama lays some mom guilt on him, saying she brought him into this world, fed him, took care of him, and he can't pay her back like this. Alicia makes what seems like a very genuine plea to Tomama, "It's true that I have a past that I can't change. I made many mistakes and one way or another I've paid for them. I ask you, please, don't deprive your son of happiness. He'll die if he doesn't marry me!" Tomás agrees. "And besides, I'm going to give you that grandchild that you want so much." Ka-ching! The ladies hug to seal the deal. Tomás says he takes Alicia as his wife, Tomama gives Alicia her bouquet back and says she takes Alicia as her daughter-in-law and borron y cuento nuevo (let bygones be bygones; let's start again), the priest declares them husband and wife, Alicia asks after her other ring, Tomás asks about his father-in-law, Alicia says he won't be much later, and Tomás tries for a kiss, gets an air kiss, and Alicia takes the ring and puts it on her finger. If you're wondering if you missed something there, you didn't. This all happens in the little room off the altar.

From there we go directly to the reception, which is in a reasonably nice-looking building with a dramatic staircase out front. Lety, Aldo and Lety's parents are at a table together. Lety tells them that, according to Tomás, Alicia talked Tomama into letting them get married by talking about grandchildren. They all laugh. Tomama comes up and asks what they think of the party. There's some nonsense about the decorations. Lety's mom puts Aldo on the spot and he quite nicely says it looks like it was decorated by a woman who adores her son. Then he goes off the rails and says there's a certain chaos provoked by that infinite love. One presumes that this is before the drinking starts, so Aldo has no excuse, except that he's Aldo. Lety's dad grumps that he doesn't know anything about decorations and Lety and her mom joke that all he cares about is eating and dancing, but especially dancing.

At the next table over are Caro, Omar, Fernando, Marcia, and Luigi. Marcia disses the decorations. Luigi attributes it to Tomás and Lety being involved, what else could they expect but the maximum expression of horror. Fernando calls them superficial and reminds them that Lety had nothing to do with this wedding, so leave her out of it. Luigi says that Lety and Tomás came from the same mold. Fernando starts to object, but then writes down "the same mold" in his notebook. Caro is listening to Omar whine some more about Aurora. She'd really like him to shut it for an hour, say, or perhaps half an hour if an hour is too difficult. Fernando says he has an idea, what about a lovesick imbecile like Omar showing up at a friend's wedding, no, wait, showing up to a wedding he wasn't invited to, or, or…. Marcia asks him to put away his notebook, he's obsessed. Fernando says it's not an obsession, it's his work and he needs ideas for the TV show and any idea could work, no matter how stupid it might seem. Hm, I could make a comment there about this show and the Aurora plot, but it's just too easy. Fernando starts writing down something about a waiter getting to a table with a bottle…but, no, he doesn't like that idea and rips it out of the notebook. Commercials.

Alicia and Tomás are arriving at the reception in a white stretch limo. The driver goes to open the door for Alicia, but Tomás claims the right to do it. Alicia is lying on the back seat, probably because her dress was so tight she couldn't get in or out any other way (I hear Oprah did that once, back in the day). Alicia says she feels like a princess arriving like this (I assume she means the limo and not the lying down in the back seat). They stand on the steps outside as Tomás asks about Alicia's dad again and Alicia says he's trapped in a snowstorm, but he'll be there soon because his helicopter is on the way to get him. Tomás is worried because Alicia's dad was supposed to pay for half of everything and things are looking really expensive to him right now. Alicia says it's already taken care of and asks him to quit worrying about money and enjoy himself. Tomás agrees and reminds her that after this is the wedding night. I wonder how she'll get out of that one!

After some silliness with the Cuartel, which mainly consists of a lot of grousing that the shindig hasn't actually started yet, the MC welcomes them all and presents the wedding couple. Alicia and Tomás parade around the dance floor to applause and then make their way to their seats at the high table. Tomama takes the mic and announces that she'd like them to dance to the same song she and Pangracio danced to at their wedding. She orders Tomás to dance with her daughter-in-law. Tomás and Alicia dance, if you can call it that, to the waltz the band plays (I should be able to identify it, but the title escapes me at the moment…anyone know it?). Tomama pulls Aldo out onto the dance floor and dances with him for a while. We then get the following pairings: Lety's mom and dad; Lety's dad and Alicia; Lety's mom and Tomás; Lety and Tomás (and such dancing has not been seen since Elaine on Seinfeld, although Lety and Tomás have better senses of rhythm); Aldo and Lety's mom; Omar and Alicia; Fernando and Tomama; Marcia and Tomás; Lety and Luigi start to, then think better of it; Caro and Omar; Luigi and Alicia; Fernando then realizes he and Lety are partner-less and dances with her, even going so far as to dip her, until Aldo and Tomama bust them up; Caro and Tomás; then Tomama has them all join hands and traipse around the dance floor. As the song ends, the crowd starts clamoring for a kiss, to which someone (Omar or Fernando, I think) adds "on the mouth!" to the chant. Alicia gives Tomás the stingiest possible peck on the lips. Tomás takes the mic and asks for a round of applause for the bride. Alicia tells them they're all honored to be there because she invited them to her wedding (one person laughs; and that actually would have been funny if she'd meant it as a joke). Tomás, for some reason, takes the mic back and announces that they're still missing the most special guest of the evening, his father-in-law, Alicia's father. He says that Alicia's dad is the special guest because he's paid for half of the wedding and asks for a round of applause for that while Alicia looks like she's got some 'splainin' to do.

Tomorrow: More reception fun and a really big bill!

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