Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Destilando Amor 8/27/07 "Time may change me but I can't trace time"

My DVD recorder..once again failed me…new disc was not formatted…I never had this trouble with a VCR, but my Digital Cable won’t work with my old Analog VCR…so I may be off on the timeline and I may have gaping holes in the story, so feel free to add or correct…but I saw this as mostly a filler episode to move ahead three months.

Pammie’s Ma is talking to her. She tries to convince Pammie to go with her on a trip to Rome. We can see the sights, buy an audience with the Pope, get a priest to cast out the demons so the seizures stop. Okay, Okay I made that part up, living below the mason-dixie line in the heart of the red states, I forget that that medical problems are sometimes treated with scientific measures as opposed to exorcisms. ***Disclaimer, said exorcisms in my area are not performed by ordained Catholic Priests..but tend to be more of a store front experience***

Nancy & Gavi are talking, Nancy relates that Rod has called and asked about Gavi. Gavi will take none of his calls. He is to be Nancy’s problem.

Hilario calls Ma & Pa to tell them the good news; he is a hawt bod and will be a model. Gadzooks, Roman & Ofelia are in no way “Down with this”. They look horrified at the news. You can just see the thought bubble above Roman’s head. I’m sure he is thinking that Hil is about to become the traveling companion of some old rich guy. “No, No, Come back to the Ranch.” Hilario mans up and will seek his fortune in the world of ripped abs & bottled water.

Gavi is at home with Clarita. Clarita fills Gavi in on the fact that Dona Jose’s beloved son, Francisco; “Known to faithful views as Swarmy Frankie”, has married into the sacred Montalvo clan. He didn’t even tell his hardworking, mother. ****Now is it just me or have you wonder why knowing “the damned dirty life ruining Montalvos” like Gavi does, especially little mealy mouthed Sofie, don’t you thinked she’d “Google” images just to check out who’d marry Sofie? But NO of course not***

Gavi tells her mother that Isa showed up at the job today. She told Gavi that the child she is baring is a “product of their fertile love”, versus the “Jizz Whiz”. Clarita with unexpected insightfulness, says, “The Kid ain’t his”. Gavi scoffs. I do not know if Clarita has had a vision, a TeleNovela moment or maybe the vision was of the 52” plasma television she sees herself watching at the hacienda.

Let’s now saunter on over to the ol’ Hacienda, where James & Sofie are sitting on an impossibly small settee. Frankie comes in behind them, “Mi Corazon” says Sofie. My Heart (My Ass) I say to that. Anyway Frankie has been out talking to interesting people. James knowing Frankie has been trying to score with the local chicas; gets up and leaves in understated English showing of displeasure. Frankie then says he just can not support James living at the Hacienda. Sofie says the property belongs to Rod and that is the way he wants it. ***Yes little Jan Brady, is totally loving it, she has the uber slick husband and the constant attention of her ol’ English Sheepdog*** Alas Poor Acacia, who will watch over you, while James is watching over Sofie.

The heavily made-up Cassandra, shows up at the CRT with Hilario in tow. She wants him to be the roomie of Alonso. It seems Alonso’s wife died like four years ago and the apartment is a shrine to her. I am getting further “Aldo LFMB” vibes here as we realize Alonso has been dead in the romance department since his wife’s demise. I am left to wonder, could it have been caffeine posioning? I think not, I believe Opera music and hanging up pastel sport jackets all day, probably just led to the losing the will to live. Hey it happens. I think Hil is supposed to take care of the apartment and maybe hanging out with Alonso will knock some of the dung off Hil’s boots.

Nancy shows Hilario into Alonso’s office. She is muy impacted, by his naivete and charming “Shucks ma’m”, good looks. Hard to believe “Hilario Duke”, slammed the crazy pregnant lady who had just visited the office.

Gavi sees Hil and it is old times all round. Seriously this just goes to show that Mexico City, pop. 20 million is really just like a small town.

In what is to become a parasitic phone relationship, Rod tells Nancy, he is just concerned about Gavi and he is going to Jalisco to see about the Organic Tequila, but will call when he returns. Nancy passes the info on to Gavi, who recalling the words of Isa, vows to have nothing to do with that Rat Bastard Doble Dippin Rod.


Rod makes a trip to Tequila, where there is another fifth grade filmstrip of the distilling of Tequila. Now lets move on to the “Tequila Masters”. They are sampling the new organico Blanco Tequila. Hmmm is it too late for me to find a new career? They have glasses and they swirl it about.
***Seriously this makes me get out my $1.47, doble Tequila shot glass, I found at “Garden Ridge” and pour me a “Sauza Blanco”, if you look at the back label it has a rooster and says “Tequila, Jal”. If you drink enough of it you will buy a Fax machine and sit for hours waiting for Rod to send a message. Ah but I digress***
Anyway, the Tequila drinkers are just all shades of thrilled with the new product. It is clean and clear and has subtle favoring of citus and herbs. Not to mention it is organic, so that means it is really good for you right? The new Tequila is a success.

Now three months pass……………………………………..
Where apparently everyone’s lives go without a problem.
Though it does not tell…I the viewer am left to assume…


Sofie is happy with her new husband Frankie. Frankie is busy nailing the locals by day & grudging nailing Sofie by night. James steadfast and true, has become Sofie’s spiritual lover.

Acacia, well for all we know, she has whacked the entire staff of PsychoCentral and freed all the inmates. They are now making illegal copies of TeleNovelas online and have quite a lucrative business, selling pirated DVD’s and perscriptions drugs, which they order via 1000’s of script pads left by the dead doctors.

And we all thought Gavi was doing well.

Now over to Miami, where Aaron is on the phone with Johnny, seems things generally suck on his end. Minnie comes in and tells Aaron that she is fine and it will be a prime time to conceive. I’m thinking this has more to do with a blood red moon and human sacrifice than hormone shots. Minnie brings up the organic Tequila thing. Aaron is like “Bwwwahhhhh Rod is an idiot all he knows is how to farm Agave” Let’s make an AntiChrist.

Now then, Isa who has been on Rod like white on rice, is shopping with her Ma at HOME DEPOT. It is like watching a Home Depot commercial, the rugs, the paint. At least she has on a normal, taupe maternity top. I guess you only need to wear the belly baring tops in front of people who must constantly be reminded that “Hey Que the Hell, I’m barrin the Varon”.

Rod continues to be Nancy’s best new friend on the phone. Nancy who is now quite the phone buddy must deal with it. So they must be on a first name basis by now and does Rod say things like, “She just totally doesn’t get me, like I totally love her and she just disses me”. Nancy then says, “OMG you are so rightous, I totally don’t get why she doesn’t just like get over herself cause you are an awesome dude”. I think Nancy would vote for Rod for HomeComing King.
He continues calling but Gavi will not take his calls.
****I know, I know, we the viewing audience are left to wonder, why he doesn’t just stroll on over to the CRT & wait outside****

Rod is up at night pacing, Gavi has trouble sleeping. Time keeps on slippin slippin slippin into the future.

Hilario is now quite friendly with Gavi, Ma & Dona Jose..oh the good times.
Gavi is continues her quest for knowledge and attends classes. The word Tequila is written on the board. I mean I think it is classes, maybe it is an AA meeting. No I am sure it is a class, Gavi gives a speech and her classmates cheer her on.

Dani goes in to see Rod at work. He has just been told Gavi is in her three hundredth meeting. Rod is totally stressing cause “Tres Menses” have gone by with out a note in his locker. “Maybe she has forgotten me” or “Maybe she hates me”. Yeah Dude I’d put money on the second one, cause after all the crap you put her through, forgetting is a bit unlikely. Dani always the voice of sense and reason..calms crazy guy down. She is going to see Gavi.

Minnie decides it is time to screw with Isa and gives her a call. Hey she says I think the whole organic Tequila thing is just a ruse for Gavi & Rod to do the organic horizontal Mambo. Isa who had been relatively calm, goes BSC & starts with contractions. Minnie you are the devil.

Next thing Gavi is toiling away in her office. Nancy comes in and says, “Your sister-in-law is here to see you”. Gavi is rightfully confused, what with not being married and being an only child. Dani comes in and introduces herself as Gavi’s sister-in-law, the sister of the idiot named Rod, from the family who has ruined Gavi’s life for years. Gavi is like Isa, is your sister-in-law, no Dani says you are. Rod & Isa have nothing it is you, he has always loved. Once again it is doble Muy Impacteds all round.

Stay tuned tomorrow..
I wish I was recapping that one cause Rod is in a restaurant with Roses…
Gavi is attacked verbally on the street by Isa…
In true Soap Opera form..Gavi is driving Isa to the Hospital to deliver the kid.
I just so wanted to say “The Days of Whine & Roses” okay I couldn’t stop myself.

Labels:


Comments:
Oh Beckster, you made me cry.
With laughter.

And yes, I get the frenemies' drive to the hospital tonight. Bwahahahaha... maybe Gavi can FAX the good news to Rodrigo.

(It occurs to me that Gavi is spending more quality time with Isa than with Rodrigo these days. I smell a sitcom!)
 

Beckster ^^^^I think I hurt myself laughing. You really should get a job writing comedy sketches...maybe for SNL....or writing telenovelas. I had a Brazilian doctor as a student this summer and his cousin wrote telenovelas...maybe he could make some connections for you. Anyhoo, I took notes of my fav comments..starting with ''If you drink enough [tequila] , you will buy a fax machine and sit for hours witing for Rod to send a message.'' I think that Rod has already sent a message out to a lot of female viewers...''I am a hottie.'' I also enjoyed

the ''organic horizontal Mambo'' remark , and the description of Meester James as Sophie's ''spiritual lover.'' Now, let's move on to the idea of Minervaaaa's fertility being due to ''a blood red moon and human sacrifice'' as opposed to hormone shots...I think you are right on the money on that one. Minervaaa is back ....hide the children. Another gem was ''I think it is a class, maybe it is an AA meeting.'' And I enjoyed your thoughts on Isa's perspective, ''Hey, Que the hell, I'm barrin' the varon.'' Watching Isa with mom pushing the cart walking the aisles of Home Depot was surreal. I just cannot imagine these 2 gals as the Home Depot types. I'm thinking that one would find them in one of those snooty baby boutiques. I started humming along to the lyrics, ''Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin' into the future.'' Perfecto. And finally , I foresee A future telenovela title ''Fertile Love.'' Thanks, Beckster. I always look forward to getting your unique perspective to these wild and crazy folks.
 

Beckster, such a funny recap. I'm sitting at the library computer with my hand clamped over my mouth, shaking with laughter.
The "storefront" exorcisms cracked me up (also living south of Mason-Dixon line.)
The Alsonso/Aldo similarities are either scary or annoying.
Anyone else see some potential for Hilario/Nancy as a couple?
Your version of Acacia's lost three months was too much--BWAH HA!
And how long has Isa been carrying this baby? About 14 months, right? No wonder she's ready to go into labor and where's her mother or some other designated driver?
Right, I forgot. Her mother's probably back at Home Depot. That "tasteful tribute" to the home emporium was too much. With their designer clothes and spike heels, they looked a tad bit out of place. The fancy baby boutique would have been more in line.
Well, I just love all the drama and the opportunity for laughs.
 

Thanks Beckster for lots of laughs. My Spanish is so bad until I could't always tell what was your added humorous style and what actually happened or was said in the novela. Is the part about Pamela's seizures true? I know she has an illness but they have never given it a name. Did I miss Gavi giving her classmates a lecture? That Minnie sure is mean. I hope she's the first to get the boot. I also think there's potential for Hil and Nancy. I sure hope that whatever Dani tells Gavi will calm her down a bit. Its sad watching her vascilate between an innocent doe eyed victim and hyteria. Her climb to the top has not been easy.
 

Re: Gavi's struggle to the top. She is a go getter, no doubt about that and it has been a struggle; however,I am getting fed up with her acting like the innocent victim. She could have told Rod to divorce esa and then look her up and be consistant about no contact until then (Behavior Modification); however, she tells him leave me alone and then finds employment close to him. This is ongoing. She listens to gossip and leaves him due to what she hears, without even asking him about it. He is so tortured by her many absences. On the other hand, he is always telling esa that he and gavi are though and shortly after esa sees behaviors that say otherwise. She is told what she thinks is not true and she is so confused and tormented. Even though she knew from the start how he felt, he denies it when he lets her kiss him good morning, good night, goodby and also telling her that he and gavi are through when he knows different.
 

Another great one, beckster! Thanks.

So, Home Depot in Mexico doesn't change their name to "something" de Casa? Harumph!

Three meses (or menses as beckster wrote - for some women, not all :) ) already gone? What a torture for Rod to go home every night to Isa - my gawd, how bad was he in a past life?

Well, if Minnie still isn't preggers, I doubt she ever will be, red moon and fertility rites notwithstanding.
Maybe she should consult a curandera, or Psychic Jorge, who has some free time now that LFMB is over.

Hilario and Nancy would make a cute couple. Ojala.

Is anyone watching "Pantanal" on AztecaAmerica? It just started last night - interesting, although being dubbed into Spanish from Portuguese reminds me of Italian films dubbed in English - laughable.
Also - no subtitles at all.

Tonight Isa's "varon" is born? Or will she have the longest delivery in novelaland history?
 

I always see TV shows as...what if this were real life. Even shows like Lost, cause human nature is pretty much the same, no matter the circumstances. So it just comes out funny when you notice things like James has a BSC wife, & hey no one ever mentions it. Rod calls daily to Nancy, whines laments that he hasn't seen Gavi. Seriously he works like two blocks away. No matter the "friends forever" pact, get up and go stalk her, it's not like he is a stranger to that behavior.

What is funny is that characters do incrediably stupid things, trust the wrong people...Never question the sincerity of their worst enemy.

Pretty much you know if you were sitting in the room with any of these people seeing these things, you'd make Dani look like a saint.
Cause you'd be up in their faces..like moron get a clue. At the family gathering, I'd have to stand up and say "Please God let me be adopted or at the least a Bastard." "Please don't make me share DNA with these people"
 

Dear crazy hilarious Beckster, Every time I think you've written your best ever recap, you do one even better.
If you don't write telenovelas, you should at least be writing some sort of journal for a newspaper... Or replace that tired old geezer who does the commentary at the end of 60 minutes. GO BECKSTER!!!!


Judy B.
 

Add me to the list of people laughing my head off at the tour through home Depot. As if, people in Isa and her mother's social class would set foot in a DIY store. More likely they would hire a snooty decorator to do the job. Maybe the Faux Frog Frankie (FFF) could recommend someone.

The 15 year old antics of Gavi and Rod are wearing mighty thin. There is no reason Rod simply can't leave Isa and why does he lead her on so often.

Yep another LFMB moment with the dead wife of the interloper new galan. Don't these writers ever have an original thought? And please enough already with the Tequilla lectures. Although to be fair at least in this novela people actually do appear to be working in the office which is a change.

I do have say time does move in this show but in the three months it appears that Isa's little belly never grew. Of course it is novelaland so she'll have the baby this week, he'll look like he is several months old and next week she will have dropped all her baby weight.
 

Hey come on, Decie Girl - it's Fernando Gaitan having the same original idea twice. That makes it double-original. ;-)

For some reason, I'm not nearly as annoyed by it this time. Perhaps because Aldo DomensaEEN treated Lety like a child, while Alonso gives Gaviota more responsibility and even depends on her. (Also, to be fair, Aldo wasn't much like the character Gaitan originally wrote for Betty La Fea.)

Did my ears deceive me last night, or did I hear a song by Sting??
 

Jardinera,

Becky T's daughter says...

I found the site with the skit "Besos y Lagrimas", with Antonio Banderas. ^_^ Here it is.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1118919690

It should totally be correct, but you can find it by searching on Google, with the keywords "Myspace Antonio besos y lagrimas"
 

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fus
eaction=vids.individual&videoid=11189
19690

oops, it didn't fit...

Here it is again, it better work, sheesh
 

Its about time that Dani became friends with Gavi- now its really gonna be good!
 

Great laughs this morning from your recap, Beckster! So many good lines and witty, you're terrific.

It was refreshing to see TWB cover her belly -- I don't think those plunging necklines will ever go away.
Also, Gavi dropped her hemline...
jb
 

Re: Alfonso. It is unbelievable how he looks so different in this novela than he does in Amor sin limites. Just the change in facial expressions He seems very hard in Amor, even when talking to azul;however, the look he has in destiliando, is so romantic. I am actually thinking he would do better with Gaviota. His look of love or at least caring, seems so real. Ret
 

Funny!! And the Double Dipping Rod just about killed me!

G.
 

I was hysterically laughing Rich Mexicans don't shop Home Depot..acoording to my friend who thinks he is a rich Mexican... Home Depot definitely paid alot to be in the show..
Now Mexico's Home Depot will be sticking Isa's baby things for the peasants
 

This comment has been removed by the author.
 

Wow! My first thought was you must have found Alonso's special stash of espresso beans! What a wild ride-- definitely better than anything either Six Flags or Disney has.....Thanks for some more grins....
 

Beckster - Hysterical!
 

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