Caray, Caray!

This recap almost didn't happen - my cable was out until about 5 minutes before the show started. Then, the captions are unreadable tonight so I'm winging it.

Pilar tells the witches to let Rodrigo work in peace, and to stay away from the hacienda until the guests have left. She stiffly creeps out of the room, moving only her legs, like that really low-budget animation we used to see on TV at 6 in the morning.

Sofie barks at Frankie: she forbids him to go to the hacienda. He must stay behind with the women and children. Isa whispers to him, "we'll find a way to make the time pass."

Jose and Clara continue their argument, eventually Clara takes pity on poor Jose, who is leaking tears of self-pity. "My boy always wanted the finer things, I'm a poor illiterate mother, nothing I could provide was good enough for him."

Hilario has scrammed to Manzanilla leaving a note for SanJuana: "Go home, it's over between us, here's money for your expenses." At the airport he tells Cassandra he's having trouble with a stubborn ex-girlfriend. Cassandra remarks on his bitterness, he says he fell for the wrong woman and is paying for it.

Cassandra does that annoying thing that those of us who are unlucky in love hate: "Oh, just wait, the right one will come along, take me and Christian for example, we're so happy together..." blah, blah, blah

James shows off all the fine agaves to Rodrigo. Rod is, in turn, in a lather to show off his empire for the impresarios - perhaps the impending pack of foreigners comprises venture capitalists?

In the midst of talking about visiting the distillery Rod has a sudden spasm of jealousy and calls Gaviota's hotel - the group hasn't yet arrived...

We get a PSA from the Manzanilla Chamber of Commerce, no, it's Gav and Dr. Blondie giving a boring lecture on the glories of Manzanilla, Important International Port.

Aaron calls Minerva, finds out she won't be coming on the trip, says it's just as well because there shouldn't be a bloody battle in front of guests. He hangs up and calls one of his women - "Plans have changed, come on down!"

In exile, the witches are glad Aaron is on the trip to be their spy. There's talk of some bar-hopping, but Isa decides to stay home "to be with Rickie." She gives the nurse a few days off and whispers to the baby: "tonight we'll visit Daddy." Frankie says he has "business" and can't tell Sofie when he'll be back.

Sofia snarls at Daniela: "You poisoned Grannie against us." Dani is unmoved. All exit.

Ah, the important visitors have arrived. They are like a herd of buffalo roaming across the linoleum floor of the hotel lobby. And Rod calls again - he's impactado to discover Gav and Dr. Blondie have adjoining rooms! He shouts at the receptionist! Get a grip you dimwit!

Rod now commences barking at Roman and Ofelia: There must be flowers for the visitors, and local food, and lovely locals in native dress - and James should go check out the distillery. Roman and Ofelia agree the patron is nervous because Gaviota is coming.

Here we are on the set of Hilario's photo shoot - he appears to be mountain climbing in order to advertise toothpaste. Teams of experts are fluffing his hair and improving his makeup so he will look natural and rough-hewn. Cassandra, in charge, is wearing one of those belts the guys at Home Depot wear so they won't get hernias. Hers is much tighter.

The sun sets. Our herd of buffalo is being loaded into the cattle car and taken to dinner. Some picturesque place. Gaviota isn't going. The receptionist has a message for her, from her ma: "I am beyond devastated to be missing your birthday!!" There are no messages for Dr. Blondie.

Receptionist: "Oh, and, a guy called, he wouldn't leave his name but he sounded kinda desperate and wanted to know if you and the Doctor arrived together ..." "We know who it is." Dr. Blondie in that annoying I'll-take-care-of-everything mode says: "If he calls again, let ME know."

Well, Rod does call again - and the receptionist passes the phone to Gaviota. She doesn't inform Rod that the phone has been passed. He is rattling on with his requests for information (much like Isa and Elvira) until Gav snaps and says, "Why don't you hire a private investigator? Or if you want to know what I'm doing, why not ask me?" He says insincerely that he didn't want to ruin her romantic night with Dr. Blondie... Soon it's the same old same old until she says she won't go to Montalveña and then he says HE won't go to Montalveña and he hangs up on her. Spoiled baby.

After the commercial, he is scowling and whining in the cantina and James is patiently explaining in his no-longer-tolerable atrocious accent that Rod HAS to be there when the VIPs come, otherwise he'll lose business, but more importantly, he'll lose ground with Gaviota - and if he misses her birthday she won't forgive him. Rod sheepishly admits his jealousy got the better of him. Again. Then he blames the whole situation on James who indignantly refuses to shoulder the blame.

Isa strokes her legs and throat. She is wearing a satin kimono and smiling a knowing smile.

Dr. Blondie drones on, to the herd of VIPs, about, what else, tequila. The Doc says his favorite of the new ones is "Ardiente Pasion." Aaron says the name is twee, undignified, and femme. They get into a little spat and then Gav shows up, the only woman, the buffalo all rise happily upon seeing her.

There is blah blah about exports and Europe and Aaron interrupts to say, "Gaviota, you know all about Europe, in fact you 'know' a whole lot of Europeans, don't you!"

The buffalo will be grazing at a romantic seaside restaurant. Gav says she isn't going. Aaron makes snide revelations: "Gaviota spent a whole lot of quality time here with my ol' cousin Rodrigo."

The bus comes for them. Aaron makes snake eyes at Gaviota and leaves. She tells the Doc she'd like to string Aaron up. "Your killing him would not be good for the Institute's prestige," the Doc mildly suggests.

Rod calls AGAIN. He is overjoyed to hear that Gaviota is alone. She's summoned to the phone and is treated, as are we, to the loud and tuneless duo of James and Rodrigo, two idiots baying along with the mariachi band. [I would say it was ghastly except I taught a course called "Songs for Non-Singers" for twenty-five years and have heard worse. -Ed.] Gav likes it. "We're in Carmelo's cantina, where you sang for me the first time." They both apologize. They each say, "Never forget I love you," the sound of anvils whistling through the upper atmosphere can be heard, her eyes fill with tears...

... and here comes the herd again, crossing the plain! I thought they went to dinner already!

... and here comes Frankie with champagne and he and Isa land in the bubble bath!

... and here comes Aaron, telling Gaviota she will never set foot in the hacienda, and there is some horn-butting with the Doc, who says, "Then we can cancel the event," except that would hurt Rod more than it hurts Aaron, who tells the Doc, "If you knew her black history, you'd agree with me," and Gav wants to tell the whole story to the Doc, who is curiously uninterested but offers to make her a cup of coffee so miraculous she will forget all her troubles, but miraculously she doesn't want any coffee. She repeats: "If he comes to you with his story, at least let me tell my side."

Next time: Sofie questions the condition of Frankie's usually-immaculate clothes; the buffalo come upon Dr. Blondie breathing down Gaviota's neck; Rod shouts at Gaviota.

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