Caray, Caray!

Woo hoo! Looks like I get an action-filled night tonight. Grab your tequila and hold on tight.

So, Gloria and Rocky are asphyxiating, both for different reasons. The rest of the staff, plus Valeria are out in the hallway as Mili tries to claim they burned something to get rid of mosquitoes and Karla tries to say "oh, no you di'int!" Rocky comes out of the room, carrying a broadly grinning Gloria ("Oh, Gloria, I think they've got your number…"). Horacio kisses Rocky for being a hero and then takes Gloria so that Valeria, Mili, Lina, and ALMOST Braulio can also give him kisses (on the cheek, of course…his lips belong to another). Karla finally gets to tell Braulio that the other girls were burning copal and incense. Braulio asks them to follow him and all exit stage right (or is it stage left, I never can remember). Horacio tells Valeria to go downstairs and give her parents the update that Rocky is a hero.

Downstairs, Constancio complains about the constant scandals and Luciana blames it on him not getting rid of inept staff. Braulio marches Lina, Gloria, and Mili in (literally, marching) and announces they're the cause of the trouble. Constancio is upset about the conflicting stories--were they burning copal, "love incense," or mosquito repellant? Mili says they were burning love incense for mosquitoes--the mosquitoes smell it, fall in love, and go out to find mates, thus forgetting to bite anyone along the way. Either that was really funny or I'm just really tired by now. Luciana blames it on Braulio for not controlling Mili, specifically. Mili insists it's all the fault of the Three Musketeerettes and Braulio wasn't even there. Valeria swans in and dramatically announces to Daddy that they should all chill, Morgan (and she's so proud I'm surprised she didn't say "my Morgan") fixed the problem and he's a hero. The Musketeerettes giggle.

Andrea comes to visit Alejandro, who was in the shower and didn't hear all the fuss going on. Andrea says all the shouting freaked her out and she's afraid to sleep alone. She says she's sorry she missed the dinner, but she couldn't very well come down with all the scratches and rolls up one sleeve to show the rather nasty scratches there (bitch crazy!). From this she segues into "Alejandro, what's going to happen to us?" Nice non sequitur, there, ma'am. Alejandro doesn't take the bait, so she's got to lay on a little more guilt with "I still love you despite everything and I'm so sorry I didn't make you a father." Ugh. He should be doing such a happy dance right now and should get her the hell out of that house and never so much as breathe the same air as her again or she'll somehow claim his sperm walked across the room to get her pregnant again.

Karla's highly pissed off to hear that the Musketeerettes didn't get fired. Mili claims the bosses actually apologized…for making them room with a cockroach. Jajajajaja.

The next morning, Gloria sits out near the driveway moping and holding a red rose. Rocky wants to know what's up and when she says there's something she wants and she doesn't know if she'll get it, Rocky (without knowing what it is) tells her she will. He's being very sweet and Gloria stands up and kisses him, which he doesn't resist. Valeria sees and looks pretty pissed off about it. Then he ruins the moment by saying that Valeria, "the love of [his] life" is waiting for him and he's got to go. Valeria shoos him away to the car and then goes to warn Gloria off saying that Morgan is "[hers], [her] chauffer, [her] property!" Oh, but we all know what that's about, Srta. Valeria CELOSA!

Alejandro comes up to Mili in the kitchen as she's fixing Regina's breakfast and tells her they need to talk, that he can forgive her, but they need to talk about it. Oh, it's way too late for that, dude, she gave you a chance already. Alejandro wants to know what's up with her and Mili replies that the Love, it is dead. Mhm, dead like Elvis. We'll be seeing it often enough to incite rumors. Oh, ok, but for now we'll pretend she means it. "I feel nothing for you!" Alejandro responds, predictably, by trying to kiss her and prove it's not true. And, no, that does not go over well at all. Mili claims to hate Alejandro and Alejandro claims to love Mili…and they're both lying, as far as I'm concerned. Mili eventually leaves, calling Alejandro an inflatable doll as a parting shot. Well, he is fairly easily manipulated.

A time passing montage. Mili and Hugo at the movies running into Alejandro and Andrea. Mili dumps her popcorn on Andrea (waste!). Valeria and Luciana pick wedding decorations and taste cake. Sergio drives down the road, being tailed by Bobby, who gets a flat tire. Regina and Braulio take Mili to a museum. Bobby and Rocky hate on Sergio some more and look downcast when Valeria hangs on Sergio's arm. Mili walks through the living room to see Andrea and Alejandro lying on the couch with Alejandro asleep and Andrea smirking. Bobby follows Sergio again and sees him go into a house. Mili and Hugo stargaze while Alejandro watches and looks stricken. We get the "One Month Later" screen.

The bunker of babes wake up and talk about letting Mili sleep in since she was out so late (Karla, of course, complains). Today is Valeria's wedding. Lina complains that Karla's acting like she's the bride. Gloria is thrilled about the wedding--Mili jokes that it's because Rocky will finally be free of Valeria. Lina sighs that now she can have Bobby. Gloria says she's already figured out that she'll never have Rocky, but she feels bad for him, as he must be feeling sad.

Braulio tells Karla to clean the house cleaner than ever. She complains about the others and Braulio says he'll go get them, but she needs to get to work. Valeria comes downstairs all panicky looking for Rocky. He's supposed to be there in his sharpest duds to drive her and she won't accept Braulio as a reasonable facsimile thereof. She runs back upstairs complaining the whole way. Damian now comes in in a black suit, black tie, and white shirt (hello, Mr. undertaker) also complaining--about all the wedding fuss, the church, the invitations, etc. And Valeria, apparently, was the one who demanded that Damian dress in a black suit and white shirt, which Damian does not agree with (nor do I…oh, ugh, I agreed with Damian about something). Braulio checks out Damian's ass as he walks away. No, seriously, he does. Valeria comes running downstairs AGAIN asking for Morgan, who still isn't there. She's in a robe, not dressed, which Luciana (also enrobed) points out as she comes out to the second-floor balcony to tell Valeria she needs to get upstairs and get dressed. Luciana asks about some decorations that aren't there yet and tells Braulio she needs him to have everything ready for the reception before they get back. Luciana complains to Constancio, who is on his way downstairs, that Valeria is insupportable. Constancio says it's because she's never been married before. Luciana says "Well, I'd never been married before either and I wasn't like this!" Oh, Luciana, your wit slays me. Hell, even I was like that before my wedding, I'm sure. Constancio reminds her that he was even forced to rehearse his "happy face," which he executed perfectly. Luciana thinks this isn't a nice thing to remind her about and Constancio replies, "Juliet, Romeo died of poisoning a looong time ago." Alejandro is also in undertaker wear. Luciana complains about him going out, but he says that just because Valeria's getting married doesn't mean the world stops. Luciana starts to complain about "men" so Constancio starts to complain about "women" until Luciana reminds him he has a daughter. Constancio amends it to "except for my daughter and my mother" and exits. Valeria comes running out AGAIN, looking for Rocky, who is STILL not there.

Bobby is driving Rocky, probably to see Sergio's wife and child. Rocky appears not to know where he's going, as he's complaining about needing to be there to throw himself out a window after Valeria walks down the aisle. They fight over whose "chiquita" or whose "Vale" she is.

The lady in question is done getting dressed and veiled. She worries to mommy about whether she looks pretty. Luciana says she envies Valeria her honeymoon. Valeria says Luciana and Constancio can go on a trip when he takes some vacation time…aka never, says Luciana. There's a knock on the door. Constancio comes in and does a good job of admiring Valeria. He ignores Luciana as she says she's going to dress. They continue having their father-daughter moment. Constancio tries to calm her down by saying all weddings are alike and this one will go fine like all the others. He jokes that she's afraid Sergio will run away when the priest starts asking him questions. Valeria laughs. He seriously asks her to tell him what she's afraid of--that something won't work out, that she won't be happy…He tells her, as God's right hand, swears, actually, that she will be the happiest woman alive. *sigh* It's not the fall that kills you, its hitting the ground.

Bobby and Rocky make it to Sergio's house. When the woman who answers the door holding the baby says she's Sergio Cruz' wife, Rocky and Bobby are impactados.

Luciana is being driven to the church by Damian. The wedding planner says she'll go too and wait there for Valeria. Rocky finally shows up and is chewed out by Braulio. He says he's got to talk to Valeria, but Braulio shoos him off. Constancio comes in asking where Valeria is. I swear, it was morning a second ago and she was all dressed and ready to go, now it's night and she's still up there? What, was she getting some last-minute Botox or something? Rocky sneaks back in and is waiting for Bobby to show up with Sergio's wife.

Peralta congratulates Sergio and they joke about not letting it out that he's not single. Sergio says he's finally going to get the life he deserves. Well, yeah, but not the way he means it. Peralta jokes that Sergio earned it by the sweat on someone else's brow.

The Musketeerettes make their grand entrance into the kitchen, wearing their finest rodeo duds in order to go to the wedding. Horacio questions their fashion sense, as do I.

Braulio finds Rocky still in the house and yells at him some more. Constancio comes in looking for Valeria again. Rocky sneaks back in again, this time in time to see Valeria coming down the stairs in her wedding dress. He tells her she looks like an angel. And they can't leave until Bobby gets there. Valeria rolls her eyes at him trying to keep her from getting married. Rocky's really nervous about Bobby not being there yet. He spins some tale about visiting a psychic and giving her a lock of Valeria's hair and the psychic saying that Valeria will suffer with "that man" and shouldn't marry him…and also that Rocky needs to save Valeria. Bobby finally runs in, bringing Sergio's wife and baby with him. Mrs. Cruz introduces herself and their son.

Sergio's at the church worrying about how late Valeria is. Luciana says all she needed was her shoes…well, dear, did anyone ever teach her how to tie them? Sergio asks if he can call her "mom." Peralta comes in and announces the arrival of the bride. Sergio takes him place in the church. Everyone stands up as Valeria walks in holding…Sergio's baby! Luciana's confused. Valeria announces the wedding's off, but we're having a baptism instead. Alejandro punches out Sergio. Valeria tells him for once, to let her deal with things. Poor girl. Maybe I can consider this enough comeuppance for her, we'll see. Valeria tells Padre Manuel that they're baptizing this kid and she's the godmother, but they need a godfather. Rocky comes running up and says he'll be the godfather. Valeria gives him a sweet smile with glycerin tears of pure dolor running down her face and thanks him. If she'd called him Rocky instead of Morgan I might have lost it there. Commercials. Padre Manuel conducts the baptism and Valeria hands the baby back to Mrs. Cruz. The two women seem to have hit it off. Valeria tells her to call so she can see her godson every once in a while. Boy, that kid's going to have a story to tell. Sergio tries to apologize, but Valeria tells him to shut it. Valeria's even angrier at him for what he did to his son that what he did to her. Oh. I really think our little girl's growing up. The Musketeerettes come up to console Valeria. Mili says if she doesn't want to cry, then come with them. Aaaand, they're off! Rocky exits with Bim and Bo. Bobby and Alejandro don't know where anyone's going, but they're following. Leaving Luciana and Regina to kind of stare at each other in bewilderment.

Constancio is pacing the living room. The rest of the adult cast comes home and is surprised to find him there. Constancio says Valeria forbid him from going to the "wedding" or going after Sergio. Regina says she's so proud of Valeria for baptizing the kid and being his godmother.

At the rodeo, Valeria (still in her wedding dress) dances with Rocky. Alejandro and Bobby sit and watch the girls dance.

Braulio fills Socorro and Horacio in on the evening's events. Looks like Braulio's stress eating.

More dancing at the rodeo. Gloria's trying to convince Mili to stay--she can't stand that Alejandro won't quit looking at her. Alejandro comes over and tells Gloria he'll take Mili home. Dude, that kind of defeats the purpose. Mili insists she'll go alone. Gloria advises him not to go after her.

Constancio, Regina, and Padre Manuel discuss getting all the leftover reception food to the homeless ("Even the caviar?" asks Constancio). Regina goes upstairs. Constancio wants Padre Manuel to fill him in on everything that happened.

Braulio comes looking for Luciana (who's hitting the bottle). Luciana says she needs revenge…Sergio must be destroyed! Braulio tells her Constancio is downstairs with the Padre.

Padre Manuel talks about how Mili was consoling Valeria. Constancio marvels that, well, they are sisters. Yep, says Padre Manuel, they're sisters. Don't you think it's time to tell Mili you're her father? We don't know exactly how much of that conversation Luciana heard, but she's pissed off. Mili comes into the hallway and asks what's up. Luciana slaps her for it. Commercials. Mili is screaming at Luciana, giving her what for. This brings Padre Manuel and Constancio running. Mili says Luciana hit her and she's crazy. Luciana says she did. Constancio wants to know why. Luciana says "you know exactly why" but then says it's because she can't stand the sight of Mili. She runs off. Constancio wants to know why Mili's not with Valeria anymore. Mili explains (rather hysterically) that Valeria's at the rodeo and she's got her friends, AND Alejandro, AND Bobby, AND Mili's friends, etc. there, so it's not like she's alone. She says she came home because Alejandro wouldn't leave her alone. She leaves and Constancio complains to PM about needing patience.

Luciana talks to herself about how now she knows why he wouldn't fire her. Constancio comes in and complains about her drinking again and about her hitting Mili. Luciana says it's because she was a little nervous. Constancio says he wants Luciana to apologize to her. She refuses, of course. There are some nasty words about Luciana being or not being a carpet. Constancio says "watch how I can step all over you." He slaps Luciana across the face and says "sorry, I was a little nervous."

Back at the rodeo, the dancing continues.

Constancio has dragged Luciana into the dorm room to force her to ask forgiveness. Mili looks scared as Constancio screams at Luciana to say it louder. Luciana finally says it loud enough and leaves. Mili's like "Qué the hell was that?" Constancio replies, "She hit you and she came to apologize. I think with all the wedding stuff she's a little nervous." Then he leaves. Mili's still freaked out.

The next day, Constancio consoles Valeria. More mushy father-daughter stuff. Constancio says Sergio's getting fired from working with him. Constancio says the good thing is Valeria gets to stay at home and be spoiled some more. He says "Tell me like when you were little: Who's daddy's girlfriend" and Valeria replies "me". No, really, it was sweet, not icky.

Peralta drives Sergio out into the middle of nowhere to "arrange" things. He tells Sergio there's a message from Constancio. Two heavies come up. Peralta tells him to go home to his wife and never come back. The two heavies beat Sergio up, just as a taste of what happens if he doesn't do as he's told. Peralta laughs and then snaps a picture of Sergio on his cell phone to send to Constancio.

Constancio gets it while he's with Valeria and tells her it's nothing, just a present from a friend.

Luciana drinks alone and talks to herself about how much she hates Mili. Now, though, she wants her close to destroy Mili herself.

Socorro comes home from the market with groceries and a new boy toy. Now let's see whose boy toy he ends up being. Braulio admires him and says Socorro should get his number and always call him with the list of groceries to deliver. He hints that this might turn into a regular job. The new guy, Carlos, or Chamuco, is thrilled. Socorro asks him to finish unloading and then put the groceries away too--"full service." Mhm. Lina comes in and drools over him. He tells Lina she can call him Carlos, Chamuco, or anything else she wants, except "baby." Mhm.

Luciana visits the convent, much to the disgust of Sor Cachete.

Valeria, Hugo, and Alejandro process the night before. Mili comes up with coffee, but only Alejandro wants some. She pours, then leaves. Hugo sighs over her and says they've been together almost a month. Valeria says she hopes he's not serious about her. Hugo announces his intention to marry her. Alejandro tells him to go to hell and leaves. Valeria wonders what's up that everybody likes that girl.

Luciana asks Padre Manuel about Milagros. She fakes that she takes such pity on her, sees her as unsupported. Padre Manuel calls BS on it. Luciana says she's sorry about slapping her and has asked forgiveness. And that's why she wants to help her now. He's still a little guarded after she asks about Mili's mom. He says he got there when she was 5 and he's got stuff to do. He asks Sor Cachete to escort Luciana out. Luciana tells Sor Cachete she's worried about Mili. Sor Cachete doesn't have as good a BS meter as Padre Manuel and starts talking about Mili's mom. Luciana starts to say something, but my DVR cut off right then. I'm sure Luciana BS's some more.

I believe tomorrow Mili finds out about the fake baby scam and Andrea being BSC (well, not that she didn't know already).

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