Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Guapos 03-18-08 "An Epic TeleNovela"

"They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made…"

I am dedicating this episode to the fine memory of “The Great Gatsby”, in fact I am dedicating this entire TeleNovela to the characters of “The Great Gatsby”.

We start the episode with Andrea, what a fem-bot bitch, regaling, Al, Luci & Val with her tale of woe. The baby that was snatched from her very womb, by the fetus-fatal push down the steps.
---Now I must ask here, why did no one go to the hospital last night? I mean these people are such asses, had she really been pregnant with lil’ Prince Fauntleroy. Don’t you think some of the in-laws could have checked in or maybe just called the hospital. Geez I guess that would have just been too much effort. Also having never fallen down a flight of steps in the first trimester or actually any mester, would you just go in and be sent home in a taxi the next day? I mean we know she faked the whole thing, but don’t you think the thought would cross some of these other AssHats minds?

Mili says how sorry she is and how it was an accident. She is verbally attacked on all sides.

Luci & Val the insipid throwing Mili’s things at her across the kitchen. The Good people or lower-class servants say they will all walk out. Luci, of the pink watery eyes is forced to wonder, when in the hell did these people learn to think for themselves? Life was so much simpler, before the peasants realized there is power in numbers. Egads what’s next? A union?

Consti & Sergio are talking in Consti’s office. Consti gets a phonecall from the Rich Guy that Al had dinner with and passed off Mili as his wife. The guy wants to have dinner at the house tonite and Consti says it would be a perfect time to met Sergio’s parents. Sergio looks a bit green at this.

Al talks to Hugo, the twisted soul, and Hugo confirms that Mili lost her temper, went BSC and shoved her down the steps. Hugo then whispers, Forgive me Mili.
Maybe Mili will…but Hugo you are deader to me than you already were.

Al tells Mili, it would be best if she left.

Meanwhile back at the office, Andrea is gloating to Consti over her prior, “Scarlett falls down the stairs” scene. Consti is all congratulations. He says he can give her what she needs. Andrea tells him she will stick with Al, as Al is much younger than Consti. Consti looks none to pleased with this. I can see no possible way this AssHat can be redeemed, he is willing to allow his “daughter” to carry the guilt that she is responsible for killing a baby; rather than give up hope of playing “Hide the Salami” with Andrea.

Next we see Al & Andrea in the foyer, Consti needs to talk to both of them. He tells them about the dinner tonite. How everyone must be on their best behavior. When he brings up the couple that is coming and tells Andrea she has already, met them; she draws a blank. Finally Al fesses up that it was Mili. Consti, has no problem with this, fine you will hide upstairs and Mili will attend the dinner. Andrea has just entered the Nth degree of pissedness .

Now we have a regular family gathering as Consti has come home to tell the family unit, that there is to be a big dinner, with the wealthy clients and Serigo’s parents. Having the attention spans of the Rich and Famous, it is all goody-goody a ball. Then Consti announces Mili will be appearing as Al’s spouse. Ewwww all those smiles turn to frowns. He explains it’s a business. Andrea takes off. Consti tells Gloves, that they won’t need kitchen babe tonight, he is hiring an international chef.

Gloves goes to the kitchen to tell Kitchen Babe she has the night off as they are getting a international chef for the big doings. Kitchen Babe is offended. Mili strolls through and says she is outta there.

On to the living room. Consti catches Mili and tells her of the evening plans. She says no until everyone apologizes. Consti makes Al, Val & Luci apologize. Mili agrees to stay.

We next spot Sergio with manipulator man (the one who is pulling Consti’s strings), Sergio is whining that he is expected to present his rents tonight and how can he do that, when they know and like his real wife and baby. Manipulator Man, laughs and says hire actors. Like those people over there. It is a set up, he has hired these people to act as Sergio’s parents.
For the love of Gawd, I feel like I am watching one of those teen movies, spoofing other movies. They have pulled out every tried and true recent TeleNovela plot line and just thrown it out there. Is this supposed to be like Epic TeleNovela? Cause they never give any lead up..this crap is just thrown out there. We have had two doctors willing to lie, the gyno guy & the shrink, the kid raised at the church, the fake pregnancy, the staircase, the drunk, the gambler, mental illness, the lying cheating Novio who is already married…and it just continues….but at least they quickly move on to some other pointless plotline. I think my favorite so far is crazy French guy who wasn’t even the father of Al, but was forced to sacrifice his sanity and life for? Who knows.

Next Val is upstairs with Andrea lamenting how unfair it is, that the crème of society, Sergio’s parents are going to have to break bread with Mili the Naca. Andrea has crossed from pissed to the nth degree to demonpissed. She begins pacing the floor and staring in the mirror. She picks up the shears (big huge shears, cause I guess she makes her own clothes out of polyester and a wealth of 70’s Butterick patterns). She starts pulling her shirt tails out and slashing them. Val has actually shut up for a moment and is just staring. Hit me, Hit me Andrea says.

Gloves is showing Mili a dress, which he holds up in front of himself. Whew…Whew…Whew, sorry folks that is my Gaydar going off. I am not being judgemental, simply stating the facts. Mili asks why he helps her and he says he believes in the truth. Mili says Regina is like her Grandmother and he is like her Tio.
---Please Mili tell me the next six numbers for powerball---
Gloves is affected by Mili and her good hearted innocence.

Down in the kitchen, some chick has shown up. She is a snooty international chef. She starts making normal kitchen chick help her. Horacio comes in and Chef lady starts feeding him. He keeps saying everything is good, but needs more salsa. Chef lady starts coming on really strong, as kitchen babe stands there and watches.

Mili enters Andrea’s room. I don’t know why. Maybe Val the Vapid went to get her. Andrea is lying on the floor, wearing her sliced up blouse. Mili thinking Andrea has passed out, no doubt due the massive loss of blood during the fake miscarriage, runs over and kneels down by her. Andrea reaches up grabs her and starts screaming for Mili to let her go. Val runs in and starts screaming and here comes Al. He jerks Mili up off Andrea. Andrea gets up and we can see she has been hit in the mouth. Andrea says Mili attacked her. Al goes all medieval on Mili and he is screaming at her and Val is screaming at her and of course Andrea is screaming at her. Mili is sobbing cause no one believes her.

Val is just staring at Andrea as she prances, well we know Val hit her. Andrea thanks her for her help. Val just stands like, she knows this is BSC behavior and somehow maybe it is an old childhood tale she heard in Bible School; Val looks like she has an inkling that this is wrong….BUT Que the Hell, who has time, when you have to shop and important stuff like that.

Bobby & Rocky lament together over Val getting married to Sergio. Luci comes out and tells Bobby, they are having a very special dinner and sorry he isn’t invited. Bobby says no problemo, he has come to see Al, and oh by the by, his parents are very happy and very much in love in Italy. Oh Snap Bobby. Luci draws her thin lips together and smiles she is so happy for them, as if.

Moving on to dinner, Damien, Hugo, Al (with his eleven year old fat girl pony tail), Val, Sergio, Sergio’s fake parents, Consti & Luci are seated about the table. Mili couldn’t be there, they make up some fake excuse. Of course Mili is lurking in plan sight around the semi corner. The fancy food is served and in an attempt at comedy..people start spitting it out into their fine cloth napkins. Mili & kitchen babe have laced it with habenaro sauce. Gloves runs to the kitchen yells at international lady, who is miffed. Gloves grabs the covered dinner platter and runs it back to the dining room. Come to think of it where is Granny, did I miss her or is she having a dinner of liver and other wholesome foods with Andrea, attempting to rebuild Andrea’s blood supply? Maybe she is just locked up in the bedroom. Gloves removes the platter cover and I must say, if you missed this fine scene, well the hilarity insues. It is not a goose, or a duck or a fine rack of lamb, it is a large breathing frog…Screams everywhere. You know this happens all the time. Mili and kitchen babe are yucking it up (in plain sight)…See what I mean, I think this is a TeleNovela spoof. Gloves rushes back to the kitchen, kicks international lady out. Kitchen babe rushes in and pulls out a finely browned piece of some kind of meat from the oven. Thank all the saints..the day is saved. Kitchen babe gets to do all the big dinners from now on. Somewhere an angel got it’s wings.

Now to the girl’s bedroom. Gloria is eating some of the fine food. Mili comes in and Lina & Karla. Lina & Gloria get out their latest purchase from the witchdoctor of love. Karla is like, don’t do that in here. The girls pour the powder on top of something..I don’t know what…maybe chicken entrails?

Anyway copious amounts of smoke pour into the room the girls are chanting and Karla comes out of the bathroom, she calls Gloves, I mean smoke is everywhere…Rocky comes running up and they say Gloria is still in the room. Rocky rushes into save her and Gloria says she can’t breathe and needs mouth to mouth. “You are the Meat & I am Hungry.” Gloria gets him in a huge lip lock.

Thus the end..
Questions?
Turn to the person seated to your right and discuss this morality play.
Thus so far…
Have any of the victims, ie..Mili, dead French guy, deserved the hand they have been dealt?

Also tomorrow, Rocky is kissing Gloria and Val steps in and says hands off he is mine
Plus the big wedding, where Sergio’s wife and kid show up and everyone is confused as to which side of the church they should be seated in.

Labels:


Comments:
Gracias! Sorry I missed the frog. :)
 

I am getting tired of how things fall together for Andrea. She has Hugo, Val, and Constancio on her side or willing to assist her. Here Hugo says he loves Mili. What kind of love is this where he blames the fall and pushing on Mili. When she finds out, Mili should just cut ties with Hugo. He deserves it where she don't talk to him.
Another thing that I am getting tired of is Alejandro. He says he loves Mili, but everytime something goes wrong or Mili gets blames He deserts her. WHERE IS HE'S LOYALTY AND LVOE. THIS IS NOT LOVE. The writers need to beef him up. How is he supposed to fight for their love if he is a weakling as he is now? I agreed with the earlier comment from yesterday. He is his mother's son.
I been faith watching every night since this show started. I started watch because of Mili's characher and her determination. I feel we need to see more of this. If Al splits with her, Mili can do more at the moment. Al needs to grow up more it seems.
I don't like Mili to be paired up with Hugo. He is just like his father at times. Mili deserves someone better who really loves her - maybe Bobby. Bobby seems ok for the time being.
Sorry, but I am not happy with storyline at the moment. Andrea needs to be exploited and kicked out of the mansion.
Please have a new storyline or add a new character. I want to still continue watch if the story changes. We will see what happens.
MAYBE NOW IS THE TIME REGINA FINDS OUT THAT MILI IS HER LOST GRANDDAUGHTER.
 

The frog was hilarious. The rest of this episode, not so much. Yes, the characters are morally disappointing, but I suppose Al and Connie will redeem themselves eventually and Andrea will end up with Damien at a fake casino in fake Las Vegas.
 

Couldn't watch last night and after hearing what happened, glad I didn't. This show has gone from light-hearted and goofy to horribly depressing and depressingly goofy.
Beckster, you still get kudos for a great recap and enjoyed the Great Gatsby quote. Would that the writers had your wit and education. We could use some class right now.
 

Beckster, what does BSC mean in your lingo? Is it one of those internet abbreviations? Anyway, I don't know it. Thanks.
 

Beckster: I'll second the comments made by JudyB. I'm watching this novela because I started watching it and waiting for something real to happen. Good thing I haven't held my breath.

From lower Ala
 

BSC means Bat Sh*t Crazy...
when you are way crazy..
actually the fumes from said substance do cause you to go BSC..
it was on some medical show where some lady had a huge bat population that she didn't know about and started suffering from mental illness.
 

Thanks, Beckster. I first thought it was related to BSD, which is big swinging d***, but since you were applying it to a woman, I was at a loss. Connie is someone you'd refer to as a BSD.
 

Great recap beckster. I was channel flipping last night and missed the frog...

Thanks for clearing up BSC. I thought it was for back-stabbing c---! But bat crazy is much better. Kind of like going ape sh--.
 

Ah, Beckster, you leave no stone unsnarked :)

Yeah, Val's on my list now. She's going to need some serious comeuppance before she can be redeemed!

Maybe it's too analytical of me, but the song they sang at the convent on Mili's birthday was "Si Nos Dejan"..."If They Let Us"...which to me sums up the whole problem with the two of them.
 

You know, Beckster, I was thinking exactly the same thing last night – that the writers have included every imaginable novela plot line and then added some more - and that this could mean the end of novelas forever as there is simply no material left! I’m glad I’m not a writer on this – they must’ve been nervous wrecks having to think up new stuff at this fast pace, and to keep all the cliff-hangers (mini within the episode and maxi at the end of each one) and reveals straight. It’s really an amazingly tightly-woven show and I’m wondering about the logistics of producing at this fast pace – hammering out the scripts, keeping straight who knows what, getting it all filmed.

I picture the at the wrap party the bleary-eyed and unshaven script-writers huddled together in a corner looking shell-shocked while the glittering stars toast each other.

What I didn’t get last night is why Mili didn’t go to the dinner. Is it because now everyone thinks she attacked Andrea? I was waiting for Mr. and Mrs. Gotrocks to catch sight of her and exclaim. But darn, that didn’t happen.

Thank you for another really funny Beckster recap!
 

I made the mistake of reading a summary of the show to date in Mexico and believe me we haven't seen anything yet in the heap of novela stuff tossed in. That said I usually find the show hilarious fun to watch and it moves very fast, no endless rehashing and most secrets or bad behavior outed in a timely manner not months and months later.

OOH Snobby Spice is going to get what is coming to her tonight and it also looks like the lush is going to discover the truth about Mili. Just watch and see how fast she tries to get rid of the real heir. (not a spoiler just so obvious on her part)

I too am PO's at Al's complete lack of faith and trust in Mili. She deserves so much better that him and as for Hugo he can go to h*ll for his complicity with the skank. Surely there must be justice coming for her. She is totally BSC and even the vapid Val looked a little shocked at how extreme her behavior was.

Obviously Mili couldn't/wouldn't be at the dinner because Val and Al laid into so hard and Al told her to get out. Regina never graces her snotty family with her presence at these command performances. She at least gets to enjoy her meals. I was disappointed again with Mili and her behavior aiding Socorro in the food thing. Mili does need to grow up but to be honest I couldn't help wishing she would show up and serve one of the courses at the dinner. Wouldn't that have just caused apoplexy on the part of the Belemonte clan since she was the reason they got the big biz deal in the first place.
 

I cut Al some slack because he did see Mili fly at Andrea and pull her hair a few days ago. And Hugo is backing up Andrea’s story about Mili pushing Andrea down the stairs. And Andrea’s plot to look beat up by Mili is so extreme, what rational person could even imagine it? Even Vale was taken aback, though she is an accomplice.

So I kinda see things from his point of view.
 

Maggie, I agree that Al did see Mili fly at Andrea in the hair pulling episode but I still can't cut him any slack. He consistently believes everything rotten anyone says about Mili, from Hugo to Andrea to his mother - those paragons of truth and honesty. (Typical galan behavior)

He seems to completely forget how tender hearted Mili is and how she kept telling him there couldn't be anything between them because of the baby. She always showed more concern for the "baby" then he ever did and voiced her feeling that a baby should have both parents. Perhaps his extreme reactions lately reflect his guilt for having not wanted the baby in the first place. He also seems to have conveniently forgotten all of Andrea's threat to abort the child unless he married her.

However i can't wait to see his reaction when he finds out how he has been played.
 

You’re right, Decie girl, Al has believed some much smaller lies than these. I don’t think he or Vale realize how deceptive and rotten the people around them are. He because he’s an unsuspecting galan, as you note, and Vale because she’s all taken up with being a rich fashion girl.
 

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