Caray, Caray!

We begin again with Al/Mili besos. Good times Good times.
Also “The Stranger at the Door”, mujer who showed up on the steps of the humble but heartwarming “St. Depections, patron saint of deceivers. Soon La Mujer de Mystery has confessed she is indeed the mother of lil Gloria. So anyway how is the hija, I abandoned these long eighteen years ago. Well, she turned out all perky and fine and pretty, answers the good Padre. Did she join the religious orders. No she has a job.
---Isn’t it awesome when parents return after eighteen years when they are under no obligation to support their spawn?---Anyway Ma Mujer wants to know if Gloria will hate her? Padre has a Hmmmmm, look on his cherubic face.

Now it is the next day at the hacienda, someone is swimming in the pool as Val is reclining on a lounger, carelessly using oxygen, in a city that is famous for bad air. One again a rich person using the limited resources, taking from someone who could put it to much better use. Rocky/Morgan strolls by. The banter begins. After the Don Juan scene of the night before, Val would like to continue in a mode of careless, frivolous whiling away the hours playing. Hey Princess, the Rockster has a great idea, he starts talking about how they can play. Val thinking he is suggesting an afternoon spent together in a hotel, gives him a cheeky smack across the face. No, a misunderstanding, Rocky wants to take her to play video games and such. Val quickly dumps her model friend and takes off with Rocky.

In the kitchen, Gloria and her delivery guy boyfriend are flirting. Socorrito is watching, with a sour look on her face. She is still smarting over her being dumped by Horacio the day before. ( filler, in case you missed it, Karla told Horacio, gardner guy if he marries her mother, she will never see her mother again).
---This has led me to propose a theory, that everyone should just take their spawn to the Catholic Church and trade them for a different model. I know this sounds heartless, but statistics prove (at least in every TeleNovela, that the children who grow up not knowing their parents, turn out far better than the ones who are raised by their own set of AssHat rents). Even Karla, and Socorrito was probably a stellar parent.

Meanwhile, delivery boy is sporting a new Tat…, sorry I don’t know this kid’s name, so delivery guy is just going to have to cover it. It says Delivery Boy + Gloria forever, in an awesome giant heart. I hope it won’t be too much trouble to turn it into a panther or something when they break up. Gloria is thrilled, she thinks her name is going to be Gloria Forver, no mon cherie, Delivery Boy explains it mean forever only in English. They kiss, Socorrito figuratively throws a bucket of cold water on the only truly happy couple and sends delivery boy on his way. Seriously the Tat was pretty romantic in a really stupid kid kind of way.

Mili is milling around Hugo empty tomb of a bedroom, she looks at that gawd awful painting of her head on dead ex girlfriend’s body and takes the picture down. Where can this be going?

Over at the apartment, Karla is going to take a bath, don’t answer the door, she tells Hugo. Hugo questions Karla over the sketch he has drawn of Mili. Karla says she doesn’t know who the girl is. Why does he worry. Hugo must know who the girl is. Karla goes to soak her troubles away.
I laugh everytime I see his sketches cause they remind me of those art school come-ons in the back of magazines.
The door bell rings and it is the building guy with a big painting covered with paper. Hugo opens it, it is her, it is her.

Damien is on the phone over at “No Work Ever-Done Headquarters”, he sets up a reporter to come over and take some pictures of Consti, talking about helping kids. Consti doesn’t want to do it, but hey it is good publicity.

The reporter comes ands Consti drones on about helping poor street kids. Photos are snapped. As it winds up, a kid, hey it is that kid that hangs around Mili, comes up and tries to shake Consti down for some spare dinero. Consti, blows the kid off and the kid kicks him in the shin. Consti grabs the kid by the ear and photos are snapped. Simon La Gree caught in the act.

Now Mili has shown up at the construction site, where Granny and Big Al are building a clinic. She sees Granny who says did you come to see Al? Al is here? Mili plays like she is surprised. Al comes up and in acts mad that Mili is there.
Here we are forced to spend a commercial break wondering if Al is really mad, could this be it, the true break-up. Oh Oh Oh, it is okay, he only is chastising Mili for not wearing a hard hat.

Now Val and Rocky are having a rip snorting time at the arcade. They play many games no dialogue.
When they are back on the street, she says she is going to give him a surprise. Next thing we see, they are getting massages at a spa. Val asks Rocky, if he believes in love between the classes, he says sure, females are one class and males are another. She says no dumbass, (really I said dumbass), between the social classes. Rocky says no. Val says she doesn’t think she could live with out Lujo, luxury. Rocky says he doesn’t think he could live without love. Val smiles

Finally Finally, someone said something worth paraphrasing during the normal nonsense, a supershoutout to whatever 8th grader penned that line in Senorita Smith’s Spanish class.

Consti is sitting his his office with a bag of ice on shin. Damien is working on him. Consti has to make a huge donation to some idiot who helps kids, seriously their words not mine. Consti reaches for the phone, and unable to stretch that far, bellows for Andrea. She comes in and he tells her to call the idiot.

Granny asks Mili to go get something from the car, she give Granny three kisses, then Al grabs Mili and kisses her. Al asks if she is still worried about Hugo. She starts to say something and we are left hanging.

Hugo has quizzed Karla about naked chick portrait, Karla plays it off as it was some model you hired. You paid cash, no I don’t know her name. In comes Andrea, Al follows her in. “Hugo, what are you doing here?” Everyone starts yelling and poor Hugo looks totally confused. Al queries why didn’t Hugo call his father? Good one Al, like Damien would care. Hugo is like, I have a father? Al does his stiff leg stomp out of the apartment and Andrea follows. Karla meanwhile explains that Hugo was in an accident and the doc said it would be muy peligroso to tell him the truth, better to buy him a sketch pad and a big box of 100 crayons w/sharpener. She is crying and says she was a servant at his house.
Out in the hall of lies, Andrea tells Al of the stiff legs the same story.

Back at the office Consti makes a big deal of presenting a check to idiot guy and idiot guy’s wife (They are over the “Foundation for Ear Transplants”) dedicated to restoring ears to poor children, when their natural appendage is ripped off by rich guys gathering trophies. I’m not sure, maybe I misunderstood it, but I think it was like when rich guys shot buffalo off the trains, just cause they could (supported by both the Robber Baron railroad companies, as well as the American Government for keeping the natives on the reservations by depleting their natural food supply). Anyway it is a way touching moment as well as an excellent photo opt. It breaks my heart to tell you that the earless street urchins will be receiving Nada as this was a set up by Damien and he gets a healthy chunk of the change.

Damien now drags Bobby to a bank and says he has forgotten his ID, like you know the guy probably has more id’s and passports than Ben on Lost. Anyway he is going to open the account in Bobby’s name. Bobby seems a bit uncomfortable with this and apparently bankers in Mexico are like bankers here, least we forget the mortgage crisis. Oh Bobby, lil dreamer, prison isn’t going to be kind to you.

Hugo, who still doesn’t know who the hell he is and gee after all the bombshells, no one has bothered to tell him is standing out on the street. Some guy walks by in a hoodie with a hat kinda like Mili’s and Hugo says wait, wait. Dude turns around. Hugo says nevermind. Now at this point, I’d have forgiven anything prior in this TeleNovela, had they only played a few strains of ‘Lola’ by the Kinks.

“Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
Its a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola”

Once again they have failed to earn my forgiveness.

Enough with the angst, it is Naco hijinks time. We see Lina, Gloria, Horacio, Rocky and Socorrio in the kitchen. Someone tells Socorrio to give Horacio some coffee. She pours it and doesn’t stop, it runs all over and she slams the pot down breaking it. Meanwhile Gloves, “Brau” has come in. He demands they all go to work. Geez what a Nazi boss suck-up. So Rocky is like giving him the eye, meaning check out Socorrio and Horacio. I think Gloves is not getting the message. Then Socorrio dumps all these crackers or pans (the mexican version of donuts, kinda only not) on Horacio’s head. He just says thank you and walks away. Gloria and Lina stare at her and Socorrio is all Que the Hell are you looking at.
Karla calls Luci and says she needs her job back. As if you little blackmailer, but what is few character flaws among jaded compadres? Luci takes her back.

Now Rocky and Gloves are sneaking around the living room, I have no idea why, but unless I’m wrong Gloves took Rocky’s eye movement as a come on. This turns to naught. They hide as Consti arrives home and the shadow of darkness follows him, he is like the Darth Vadar or Dick Cheney of the Mansion.

Luci is upstairs with cream all over her face, Consti is dressed in his Black Satin jammies. Luci wants him out of the company, she threatens him and says she is taking over the company and he needs to play politico.

Downstairs, Damien has arrived home and Al is all, Geez Tio, I totally need to tell you some news. That is when Luci glides in with her face cream and tells them Consti is out and Al is in. Damien says Al still won’t have enough shares. Guess again AssHat, Granny glides through and says Al has her total support and gets to vote her shares.

See what I mean about bright and shiny objects? Al never does tell his uncle that Hugo is alive and well and being held hostage by Damien’s father/son tag team doing amante.

Damien confronts Luci and she tells him, you will do as I want or it is jail time, dear brother. Karla has given her the goods on Damien.

So after tonite, I must rate Consti a 9.0, partly cause his mother gave him a twenty-five year too late beeoych slap last night and cause an eight year old kicked his ass on the street tonite. Alas it is a sympathy vote.

Tomorrow Hugo returns home only to realize he loves Mili and Al pulls out the recorder and plays Hugo’s BIG confession.

Labels: guapos