Friday, May 02, 2008
Fuego 5/1: In which Sofia's mom insists Furd is a genteel and sensitive man.
From yesterday, supreme brown-noser Furd says the fights Gab and Sofia are having indicate he and his mujer should move out. Gab says "Oh, no, please don't, my dear son-in law! I'll control myself, and I'll build you a lovely cottage on the grounds here. You can't go, you're the only one who understands me." (Actually she said he can build his own place, but she hires the contractor and reviews the blueprints.)
Also from yesterday, the boys bury their sister someplace, is this legal? They have some bloody spiny stuff and twist it up and smear blood on their foreheads and swear on the tomb they will avenge fair Libia.
Sofia asks her odious brown-nosing hubby Furd, "How did Dad die?" "Again and again I tell you, he lost control of his horse." "He was an excellent horseman!" "Are you insinuating I killed him? How unfair you are to me!" He tries to look innocent but looks like a monkey trying to figure out the best place to hide his banana. She retracts her insinuations and cries. He caresses her hair ickily and insinuates it's time for sex. "When will you understand I hate the touch of man?" He looks like a sad monkey. Put that banana away.
Gab curses her dead husband many times during this episode.
Marcia, I mean Jimena, and Sarita have a pathetically brief and empty scene. "Do you think dad was unfaithful?" "Oh, quiet!" says Sarita, the serious one. [You know she's the serious one cause she wears glasses. What do you bet one of those hunky Hmos. Reyes gonna get those glasses off her? --Ed.] "Jimena, you should go to confession, why you talking 'bout men all the time?" "I'm tired of having only sins of the mind to confess. Don't you ever think about guys?" "ME? Well, maybe a little..." Jimena wants the man of her dreams to appear fast, before she gets serious crowsfeet.
The Reyes brothers are waiting for tomorrow and their big vengeance day. Juan has a fever. He shivers in his sleep and reaches out dramatically to Libia, in the other world, saying "Take Mother's Necklace! Oh, Not the Darkness! I'm Afraid! I Need Light!" Oh, ok, it's morning, he's ok, I bet you were worried our main hero was going to die in the third episode of the novela. "Brothers, we just have each other, let's get going on that vengeance thing."
At the Badlove Dancing Palace, she of the bulging bodice is still singing her same song, "Insatiable Bonbon Assassin," and is upset that her usual drooling fan, Franco, is not in the audience. She mopes with her dresser, who points out reasonably: "Maybe he has other things to do." "I miss him! How can this happen to me!?"
Father Tadeo coyly asks Sofia if she needs to take a pass on organizing the Fiesta on Charity Day, seeing as how her dad just died. No, she wants to go ahead with it, and dedicate the festival to her father. Gab, the noble grieving widow, makes a grand entrance down the stairs. She tells Tadeo that her faith strengthens her. He warns her no guardar rencores which is one of my favorite Spanish phrases and it was even in my dream the other night. "Don't hold grudges" isn't even 1/2 as good. "It's not rancor, Father, I was betrayed." After her exit Sofia thoughtbubbles, "Mom never accepts any blame and it does so much damage."
The brothers are stiffly arranged in a tableau of righteous anger, Juan opens a chest and takes out guns. "Our father was a peaceful man, our parents didn't teach us to hate, but everything has a limit." Franco, who I am tempted to nickname Botox, nods stiffly; following Chris's suggestion that we flesh out his acting, let's imagine his noble blank visage is supposed to indicate, "Yes, Juan, I believe you are right." "OK, let's go get that family and destroy Bernardo's loved ones!"
Gabriela yells through the house for long-suffering Eva the housekeeper. Looking for keys she paws through Eva's drawers and finds the picture of Libia with the loving inscription from Bernardo [why did he write a loving inscription to Libia on a photo she was giving him? --Ed.]. She crumbles it up as she rolls her eyes fiercely.
Collagen-lips Eva shows up and Gab barks, why did you betray me blah blah, and how did you come by this photo? (Shows crumbled photo.) "I was pawing through your husband's clothes and the photo lifted it out of his pocket into my hand. I didn't tell you cause I thought it would be better if you didn't know." "As You Know, you've worked here all your life, my daughters adore you and my father trusts you and so did I, now you need a punishment." Eva says she'll quit her job right now (good idea), Gab slaps her and says "You're not going anywhere."
The Reyes Bros. have very nice horses and they ride over hill and vale and then go into a market and start asking the banana vendors, "Where is the Elizando hacienda?" They get a lot of "Never heard of it" responses and then the first guy who knows anything, Juan jumps him and starts punching, way to get the directions to the hacienda.
Turns out this hairy scruffy guy was one of the two guys Furd found near the scene of Bernardo's death - remember? Furd randomly selected this scruffy guy's friend and said, "YOU did it, you killed Bernardo, you ruffian!" and now that friend is in jail and so the scruffy guy is teed off and blames - the girl!
There's a big scuffle, baskets are flying. Along comes the lady who took Libia to Bernardo's and she says, "I know where the hacienda is but I shouldn't tell you, it will lead to more misfortune."
Gab goes to yell at her dead husband some more, waving the crumpled photo. She looks up at Jesus on the wall and says, "I know God is listening!"
Gramps is playing war with his tin soldiers when Eva comes in. He instantly knows what's been happening and goes to complain to his evil daughter, who snaps, "Dad, I can't take any more of your impertinence!" [Saying such a thing to her father is, in itself, enough to condemn Gab to eventual death. --Ed.] "And I can't take more of your bitterness, if Bernardo betrayed you it was your fault, you are cold and calculating, stop blaming others." "Keep your sermons to yourself!"
Gramps intones portentously: "The walls of this prison aren't thick enough to conceal so many secrets!" Gab says he has secrets of his own and that he is paying for his crimes by being in a wheelchair [a notion which, speaking for a lot of good, blameless people in wheelchairs, I resent most intensely -- Ed.] He cries.
Furd suggests to his mother-in-law that it was a mistake to hit Eva. "Keep your enemies close and treat them well. If she blabs to your daughters she'll confirm their suspicions and there will be rebellion." Gab is worried - what if the girl comes back? "She, uh, won't be bothering you again." "How can you be so sure?" "She committed suicide." Gab apologizes awkwardly to Eva.
Eva has a flashback to a night long ago when she helped her inebriated boss Bernardo get into bed. "I should never have gotten into bed with him." I think she thinks he never knew she did it.
The girls, in another awkward tableau, kiss Gramps goodnight. He suggests that when they get to Pueblo tomorrow they should find nice guys and flee to Europe. Sofia the wetblanket reminds him they are in mourning.
The boys are, again, ready for a day of vengeance. Juan, of all people, counsels his brothers, they should be cold and intelligent. Hah. Juan says, "I pray God forgives us for what's going to happen." [Can you get a pardon in advance for a sin you intend to commit?]
They are good at keeping their huge hats on as they gallop over the greensward, leaving behind a plywood cutout of a guy with a sombrero and a scythe. They are off to the Elizondo estate...
... where Furd can't get the car started, so he has to borrow a truck. Furd, Gab and the girls leave for Puebla. On the way, Gab announces she's turning management of the hacienda over to her admirable son-in-law. Sofia pipes up, "Dad taught ME how to do it, he thought when the time came..." "Well THAT time hasn't come yet. Your hubby gets the gig."
When they get to the hotel in Puebla Gab warns her daughters not to think they are going to have a good time. Sofia and her mom review the "I don't love him," "He's a genteel and sensitive man, that's why I chose him for you," "I want a divorce," "You're not getting a divorce," conversation.
Meanwhile, the Reyes boys reach the hacienda. They get off their horses and let the horses run away! They wander backwards and sideways waving their guns. Gramps is watching from an upper floor through his telescope.
Eva comes out and thinks they're the guys come to build the cabana. "You're confused, we're not cabana-building guys, we're Juan Franco and Oscar the Reyes brothers!" "Oh, brothers to that little girl..."
They explain they're here to wreak vengeance -- either the Elizondos come out or they're going in. "No, the Elizondos are in town, you'll have to come back and wreak vengeance another day."
They find out Bernardo is dead and that the night of his wake Libia showed up there and the widow Gab was mean to her, and further, Eva says Bernardo actually did love their sister. Gramps is taking notes in the upstairs window.
The boys press forward. "We're going in." "No you aren't." "We're going in." "No you aren't." "Yes, we are. We're staying till they come back." They bust in.
Gramps faces them from the top of the stairs (yes, those stairs of doom) wearing an odd outfit. He shoots a toilet plunger arrow from a coathanger bow and then topples down the stairs in his wheelchair. Luckily Juan catches him and plops him back in his chair.
Eva tells gramps these guys are, in point of fact, the bricklayers here to build the cabaña. "First time I've seen guys show up to work with guns instead of tools." "I'll get them what they need," says Eva, "and they will LEAVE and come back TOMORROW!" The boys look very confused and leave as she has suggested. This technique works well with my donkey.
Back at Bare-chested Bakery, the useless brothers Franco and Oscar lean against a post and watch Juan kneading dough again. "What will we two do? You're the only one who knows how to work." "I'll explain as we go along."
Oscar makes a good point: "That lady said Bernardo really loved Libia, and now he's dead. How do we take revenge on a dead guy?" Franco, who is supposed to be the smart one, chimes in: "We don't know anything. It's all a mystery." Think that one over.
Juan has the last words: "We'll go build a cabaña and figure out who's to blame for Libia's death, and THEN we'll get our vengeance."
Tomorrow: Juan is shirtless in front of Gab and Sofia. Sofia almost smiles. Gab, not so much.
Labels: Fuego
Lisa from Alpena
Monkey and banana - LOL. What a perfect description.
I guess shirtless Juan fills in for lack of dialogue. We're too distracted to notice they aren't saying anything. Just moving their lips.
From lower Ala
I was guessing the sisters would be packed in the car in this one unlike the other one where Furd,Sofie(I think she was formly Norma) and Gabby went on the trip.
I finaly finshed ep 5 and decied to go onto 6 since the recap will tell us whats up for next week and that way i'll have to wait on a more diffrent summary.
Not much more to say on this one,
Except Bitterella is getting anoying,
Great work on the recap,
Sylvia-still in mourning over the end of Pasión and not ready to give up being a pirate.
This novela is so lame, I can't even put it close to Desti ( I'm not even talking about the best of the best Pasion). May be because I'm so new at this I haven't used to "...old-fashioned, repetitive, unsubtle telenovela, where emotion is communicated by (1) heaving breasts (2) eyes with the whites showing all the way around and (3) bared fangs. " This is exactly that. I would just add - constant flashing on a screen of naked, not so young, male torso.
Actually EJ has a beautiful smile and I would rather prefer to watch his smile more often.
I don't understand how the whole family went on a business trip day after the funeral and all girls were giggling and joking and none of them had any mourning piece of clothing. I understand that betrayed spouse Gabi quit mourning, but all 3 daughters?
Don Amador - oops - gramps - cracks me up. He looks almost like Napoleon up there watching the battle field. And the notes he is taking - great historical evidence for future generations.
Few more sceletons in a closet coming - Gabi's hint about gramps secrets and this dance girl mentioned before something about real love in her life.
Mad Bess - try a glass or two of rum - it probably will help faster!
Eve from Cleveland
I believe that since the tree girls put up with their mother's behaviour, it's their fault. She's free to do whatever she wants. Grrrr, I hate Gaby's character.
BTW, I love the new photos on the sidebar! It's a plesure to know how your favourite recappers look like!
'The barechested bakery' LOL! I am getting realllllllly tired of Rod...I mean Juan's 'no shirt' look and his scruffy beard! Sheesh!(My mom says the bakers of old really did bake shirtless!)
The previews look hopeful, anyway......
I also think "Marcia" every time I see Jimena, especially since I still think of someone else as Jimena. And I am really having trouble looking at Nora Salinas, who was so glamorous and sophisticated in LFMB, as prissy Sarita.
I am not so sure we can blame Botox for Franco's demeanor. I've seen him make faces - it's just that they rarely seem to match up well with the situation.
So, why did they go to Puebla? I only saw parts of this, so maybe I missed something.
Oh as for the wheelchair comment, I don't she meant that wheelchair-bound people in general are being punished for some sin. I thought she was referring to something specific that Gramps had done that led to his condition - that he had an accident while doing something immoral.
As for Juan - what can I say. He goes in there waving a gun and demanding vengeance, and then the first thing he does is save the old man's life. I don't hold out much hope for the long-term success of his vengeance plan.
I can't even imagine that Fernando Colunga could even consider to be a part of the cast of Fuego. Why EJ did it? He is a good actor, why to have part in such low level TN? May be it was much better on paper?
Eve from Cleveland
I can deal with sweaty Mighty Joe Juan and his no account brothers better than those wimpy overgrown daughters. This is supposed to be contemporary and they submit like ninnies to their mommy. Give me a break. Maybe I missed it, but do they have jobs? What to they do except whine and get mom-slapped.
And finally, can we agree on one nickname for Fernando. Is it Furd, Feo or FerNasty?
I want to yell at them for not grabbing Grandpa and Eva and moving out, but honestly, I have no idea where they would go or how they would make a living.
I think Grandpa's advice for them to flee to Europe during their Puebla trip was not such a bad idea.
Julie, I've always suspected you're my hermana de alma, and now I'm certain. You notice ears! I ALWAYS notice ears. I watched some early Tontas on YouTube, and I can't get over Valentino Lanus' very long ears. They look like he robbed them from an 80yo man. (TBLMOE has good ears. Are we surprised?)
Nora Salinas is a shape-changer. She can completely transform her look into anything; sometimes you don't even recognize her. Colunga is another shape-changer. In different "looks" he seems like a completely different person.
I only watch about 10 minutes of Fuego each night - it's all I can stand. Then I read the recap for my morning laughter. Last night, the funniest part I saw was EY standing barechested in precise profile. Like "You can't see how big my chest is from the front, so I'll stand sideways for you. Notice my great big chest. Notice my tiny little waist. Are you impressed yet? I'll stand still so you can see it better. I'll stand still some more. Are you impressed yet?"
Not quite convinced about this show in Arizona....
I know it's early, but this show is so bad I already can't watch it every day. I'm going to read the daily recaps and just watch Tuesdays to write mine. I hope it ends up getting better, I like watching a daily show but this one has already become unbearable.
The good news - whenever a show is this bad it leads to awesome recaps from everyone. So I'm really looking forward to that!
About the ears. I usually don't notice them, but Feon's are hard to miss. I wonder if he can fly?
And what I was saying about Nora Salinas was unfortunately the opposite of her being a shape-changer. :( Maybe I'll eventually get used to her as Sarita, but for the time being she just seems like Carolina in a ridiculous disguise. I think much of the problem is that the character hasn't had much to do yet and seems more like a stereotype than a person.
I'm having an easier time accepting Elizabeth Alvarez as Jimena, because Marcia was always a one-note character to me (sarcastic whining jealousy machine) and Jimena is quickly getting established as a more plausible type of person.
I'm only having trouble with her name - just like Furd can't be Fernando, it's hard to think of this girl as "Jimena." To me, Jimena is a strawberry blonde who wears a lot of orange dresses, and I'm not ready to let her go yet. :-)
Great recap, Melinama. Especially love your italicized editorial comments!
Julie, interesting observation about the two ladies switching strengths. Your right, in Fea N Salinas (Carolina) was so complex and E Alvarez (Marcia) was so cardboard-cut-out. Now esta' otra vez. In the brief 10 minutes I watched last night, I actually saw Jimena blink twice! That's more than we saw from her in 301 hours of Fea! Maybe the body snatchers finished their experiments, and they've swapped the real E Alvarez for the pod-person stand-in we saw last year.
I've only been watching novelas for a year. I knew, from surfing channels in the daytime, that they could be really really bad. What I didn't know was how much fun the snark-fest could be when the novela is this bad. The closest thing I can compare it to is a rubber-suit monster movie. On Mystery Science Theater. In Japanese. With really, really bad voice dubbing.
Do you think it was meant to be this absurd?
So I will probably watch Fuego until I get those and then - sorry Rod/Juan - Ric is a winner!!!
Eve from Cleveland
The writing is less than awesome - certain conversations the characters have had, especially in the first episode, sounded as though they didn't know each other and were meeting for the first time. ("Hi Gramps, I know you've been around for my whole life but I'm going to tell you today for the first time that Ma never lets us out.") But that doesn't explain the weird performances.
I think it's the director. Whoever it is, if we cross-reference his or her other works I bet we'll have confirmation.
I don't have time now, but I'll try to check it out tonight.
At times, it really does seem as though we're watching an Ed Wood film.
I expected to enjoy all three sisters in this one, but am disappointed so far. Ay yi yi.
La Paloma
And here Miss Hoochie Mama got one song? the bon bon? Well, I guess the guys aren't their for her signing talents. Sheesh!
Just because you have the technology to do cool graphics doesn't mean you should use ALL of it.
It reminds me of when word processing software was relatively new and some people (myself included) were so excited about the six different typefaces they could choose from that they tried to use ALL of them in every document.
I think Fuego would work better as a parody/farce if all of the actors/characters (besides Grandpa) were in on the joke. The director really is supposed to take care of such things!
And is this supposed to be eye candy, the brothers lying around in their stripey-tighties. Why do I feel they just finished a rousing game of "wrestling". Get these boys some chikas pronto!
Anyway, according to the very sketchy info I found:
The producer is Salvador Mejia, whose most recent previous gig was Mundo de Fieras. I didn't find that one completely laughable, but on the other hand, there was an evil twin with an eye patch. C'mon.
The writers who did the adaptation were Julio Jimenez (no titles on his IMDB credit page that I recognize), and Liliana Abud who did (among other things) Mundo and the really dismal Barreras de Amor. (There's a third writer listed, but based on his prior work date, he probably only wrote the original and had nothing to do with the adaptation.)
Only one director is listed - Miguel Corcega, who also directed some portion of Destilando Amor. That doesn't mean there aren't other directors, just that he's the only one who's listed. (Often there are additional directors and assistant directors.)
Corcega is 78 years old, so it seems especially likely that he had some help. Either that or he was nappin' on the job.
The previous record holder for a Univision premiere, believe it or not, was for Guapos.
Story here.
On the other hand, I’m jealous of those of you who get Telemundo and saw or can see the rerun of Pasion de Gavilanes. Mario Cimarro is muy guapo, Danna Garcia is tan hermosa and they are muy caliente together.
Grandpa! What the hell! Is he up there smokin a peace pipe in his room, JesuChristmas! Why in the heck did he try to come down the stairs in his chair. Oh well, looks like the Three Stooges will chill out having met someone with similar mental powers to relate to. His defense of the Hacienda made as much sense as their assault!
And what is Eva gonna do when the real cabana (sp) builders show up?
OK. I want everyone to hear the sound of Red Foxx's voice (Sanford and Son) when he used to say this to Lamont:
BIG DUMMIES!!
I'm trying desperately to get into the groove so I can enjoy it for camp value - I was a huge Mystery Science Theatre fan (heck, I just told my brother this was like watching Manos: The Telenovela of Fate) - but so far, it's hard going - like, I want to drown myself in a lagoon hard. I know Pasión got off to a slow start, too, but Fuego is apparently packed wih all the things I dislike about most TV and very few of the ones I do.:/
Though I did emit sort of a fangirl squeal when I realized Juan's horse was a Friesian. How can you let that go, Juan? How? I mean, you held onto a dead body tighter!
Pardon me if you already provided this info!
Mad Marley Grey, I was thinking the same thing. This is so MST3K material, man! If I keep watching this, it's gonna be for the laughing-so-hard-I-pee-my-pants value of it all - at the show and the recap and comments!!
G from CA
By the way, I enjoy the recaps and comments which seem to be better written than many telenovela scripts.
“(Actually she said he can build his own place, but she hires the contractor and reviews the blueprints.)” ROTFL! She surely did, didn’t she? You reckon she’s a control freak?
“He tries to look innocent but looks like a monkey trying to figure out the best place to hide his banana.” ROTFLLLLLLL!!!!!
“[You know she's the serious one cause she wears glasses. What do you bet one of those hunky Hmos. Reyes gonna get those glasses off her? --Ed.]” LOL! From the previews, one might guess it’d be Franco, who went to Oz looking for a brain anyway. (Someone needs to tell Rosario that, too).
“following Chris's suggestion that we flesh out his acting, let's imagine his noble blank visage is supposed to indicate, "Yes, Juan, I believe you are right."” ROTFLLLL!!!
“"and they will LEAVE and come back TOMORROW!" The boys look very confused and leave as she has suggested. This technique works well with my donkey.” ROTFLLLL!! His name’s not Franco, is it?
Jeanne
you know i miss pasion but i still get one thing i loved most about it everyday.......the theme song anyone got the new sarah brightman cd? I do had since march very very good cd.i happen to have bunch of her cds, my mom and i love opera,
http://cinematictitanic.com/wpmu/trailer/
Unfortunately, unlike RiffTrax, they've only done one movie yet, and it costs more (either if you download instead of buying the DVD). But it includes the movie.
Ahem, but back to the telenovela. After watching this episode again, I stiill don't know why they went to Puebla. Apparently it had nothing to do with the festival. It looks like they just went there so Furd could sign the paperwork. I suppose Mom made the girls go with so that they wouldn't be able to sneak out of the house at night and get jobs and date boys.
I'll put in my 2 cents about the number of episodes. Pasión de Gavilanes was super successful and was extended to 160 or 190 episodes or something like that. That doesn't necessarily mean that Fuego will be similarly blessed. They are already deviating somewhat from the PdG plot.
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