Caray, Caray!

We start out with the rehash of Flor telling Al she doesn’t want to stay in Mexico. Al wants to raise the baby around all the people who are important to him.
--Geez does this tell you what kind of a father Al is going to make? Raise the kid around Luci, Consti, & Uncle Damien.—

Now then Al tries to comfort the little woman over the whole “Hey she’s my sister” thing. Flor is none to comforted by this cause like the other 19,999,998 souls of Mexico City she knows the only thing Al and Mili share between them is unfulfilled lust. Okay, Okay, me amor, she finally gives in, but begs him to live in a different house. Now I think this shows real maturity and good parenting on Flor’s part. She no doubt realizes, Luci would in a drunken stupor kick the poor kid down the steps, or Consti would leave the “unloaded” gun lying around, or if it was a boy, Karla and Andrea would be hitting on him before his tenth birthday. Welllll Al will think about it.

Hey Fans who thought a month ago, that the Mafia side of the family would be the sane ones.

Meanwhile in the study of the many staircases, Padre, Damien, Consti & Karla discuss Damien’s recent life altering decision to turn to God. Karla is wailing, Consti is threatening, Padre gets between Damien and Consti. Geez, Consti is threatening to do great bodily harm in front of a priest. This will probably cost him another wing on the St. Deceptions Orphanage where all the kids are now wearing designer uniforms, courtesy of The Belmonte Sinners. Padre suggest that Damien go to a religious retreat where he can meditate on God and make his decision. This sounds good to Damien and to me too. Just like when Tony Soprano would go to Florida til Jersey cooled off. Oh Damien you continue to be my hero. Damien realizes he sucks, but hey, he never said he didn’t. At least he doesn’t do evil crap while pretending it is to benefit someone else. Damien knows it is to benefit him.

Now we get to see Consti in his office, Andrea comes up and does a lil somthin somthin and Consti who was studiously reading papers, jumps up, flings his bifocals on the desk and plans to get a little afternoon delight. Andrea already playing wife, squelches that idea, she starts in on the divorce thing. Geez Consti, marry her, you’ll save time breaking someone else in, she already has the much put upon nagging thing down. To pacify her, Consti invites her over for a little fiesta at the house. Besides it will really piss Luci off and that is always a good thing.

Over in Naco land, Gloria is talking to her mom. Ma tells her that she is going to live with Pa and Gloria’s half brother. Pa walks up and tries to make nice with Gloria. He never even knew he had a daughter, she doesn’t want to hear it and marches off. Personally I feel, Gloria is being a bit of an AssHat, I mean Pa did bring flowers to comatose Ma, for three solid years. Too bad Gloria isn’t Consti’s kid cause she’d wailed on his ass.

So now let us move on to the happy celebration. Let’s see who is in attendance, Luci, Val, model boyfriend, Bobby, Mariposa (or what ever the hell, Flor’s sisters name is), Mili, Hugo, Consti, Damien and here comes Andrea, before Luci can say anything, Nestor comes in behind her. Say isn’t there a YMCA in Mexico City? This guy drops in constantly. Oh yeah Domingo Soprano is also in attendance.

Well now we have toasts, to Val, to the pregnancy, to Mili and Hugo, Mili throws up in her mouth a little. Oh yes, Damien has a toast to his new life devoted to God. Karla who is serving throws down the tray and runs off. Luci says “The Servant is a little emotional”. You can just see Mr. Soprano thinking things were never like this back in Jersey.

Luci’s last nerve is fraying, playing the doleful wife while Andrea and Consti stand giggling together. Luci slips into the study and pours herself a stiff one. Gulping like a guppy left outta the bowl, Luci gasps when Nestor walks in. I am so unhappy. I am here my love, Nestor answers. Please what sin has this guy committed that he is trying to do penance for? Nestor and Luci are lip locked as Mili walks in. Luci is all up in Mili’s face. Damn Mili caught her dead to rights, I mean, she is threatening Mili and with what, she has played every card she ever had. Mili says she isn’t like Luci, meaning she doesn’t take pleasure in completely trashing someone’s life. Finally Nestor tells Luci to give he and Mili sometime alone.

He says I have a story to tell you about a beautiful love.

Now Luci moves on up to the bedroom, she pulls out another bottle, fills a glass and starts chugging. Here comes Flor. For the love of Gawd, can this woman not get a moments peace.

Meanwhile Val is walking the grounds with model boy. He starts quizzing her about Rocky. Val plays it off with please, the chauffeur all he cares about is money. Model boy says he is love with Val, she is intelligent, beautiful, a snappy dresser, basically a bitchin babe with a groovy personality. They kiss.

We go back up to see Flor all worried about brother bumpin, nah says Luci, after all you are married to Al and your are having his baby. Yeah but, Yeah but, Yeah but, they really aren’t related. Luci brushes that little detail off with a wave of her drunken hand. But you are his wife.
---Let’s think about this Luci, you and Consti, spawned Val and that didn’t even slow his stride on hitting anything that moved---oh Luci you and your liquor inspired logic.

Flor noticing a catch in Luci’s drunken rambling, queries if Mili knows that Mili and Al are not sharing DNA. Luci tries to avoid answering, but finally fesses up to the fact, that yes indeed Mili knows. Flor is furious, and I can’t really blame her. Luci constructed this enormous fairy tale, then out of spite and alcohol, told Mili.

Meanwhile out in the garden, model boy is still tickling Val’s tonsils. Alas Val fantasies it is Rocky. Shocked she opens her eyes. The kiss is over. Well after a brief discussion, Val isn’t ready for a relationship and she tries to play it off that he is a model and not serious, just a good time guy. No he is serious, but willing to just be friends for the time being.

Now then, Flor and Luci make up and band together to keep Mili and Al vertical at all times. Flor also encourages Luci to divorce RatBastard Not Al’s Daddy and hook-up with Nestor. Oh woe is me, it is too late, Luci whines. Flor says it is never too late.

Back downstairs, Nestor comes out with Mili. Luci and Mili do some snarking. Mili says Nestor told her a beautiful, but sad story.
Now audience don’t you so wish, Mili would say sad, but not as sad as all the crap you people have put me through, then announce the entire sordid affair to the whole party. Please the only people what wouldn’t stiffle a yawn would be Al and Val, and Val is out getting her groove on in the garden. Well at least all 20 million residents of greater Mexico City DF, would at last have a clue.

Luci now drags, Hugo off, I think she is going to try and persuade him to move Mili out of said “Happy Mansion” once they are married.

Flor pulls the hey lets be Amigas with Mili, Mili once bitten twice shy looks pensive. Hey let’s go shopping for baby clothes, Al has to go to work tomorrow as Consti is three years behind, telling Al what a worthless idiot Bastard, both figuratively and literally, so Al will be busy all day and Mari-what-ever the hell her name is will be busy. Sounds like swell fun.
--Audience how many times have you found yourself longing to spend time shopping for baby things for the love of your life and his new wife, what a most excellent bonding experience.--

It is finally last call at the Hacienda, Nestor says dump AssHat and marry me. Luci looks pensive. The merry partygoers pack up and all are leaving. Andrea lingers behind. Luci tells her to hit it, but Consti says it is late. Oh good a sleepover. Consti and Andrea go giggling upstairs and Luci is left to pour yet another glasses of liquor. Has this man no decency? Consti and Andrea dunk into a bedroom. I’m not sure if it Consti and Luci’s room or another, all that TeleVista cheesy fake furniture looks alike to me. Luci comes up and stands outside the room. She reaches for the door handle, but doesn’t turn it. I think she realizes that she can sleep in another room and have the whole bottle of liquor to herself.

Karla steals into the study, she breaks into the not very secure desk and finds the gun.

The next morning, Luci is getting dressed. She is going out. Consti comes in and does some baritone snarking. I think he told her she looks old. She says she is going to get a divorce, he says she is crazy. She says she is crazy. There is a whole lot of ESTOY LOCO.

Over at the church, Gloria & Ma are talking to Padre and Rev. Mother. I think they thought that Gloria’s Ma was gonna join up. Is it like traffic tickets in a small town? Is Padre getting points for a free trip to Rome? Gloria snarks and Rev Mother takes her off to the kitchen. Padre and Ma have a talk about Gloria’s Ma & Pa. Sorry I really didn’t follow this very closely as I am just thrilled to see her without the tube in her mouth. Really, Gloria wise up, not to be cynical, but odds of a forty something poor woman getting married in Mexico City are slim to none. Geez move on.

Luci is saying goodbye to Damien as he gets ready for Catholic Summer Camp, well he is off to see God. Consti comes down and make fun of him and Damien with perfect timing and staying in role, does the sign of the cross and blesses Consti telling him that he needs to repent, confess his sins and get God’s forgiveness.

Over at the office Al is making himself at home, Bobby the wanna-be is hanging out. Hugo (whom I might add, makes a cutting figure in his suit) is moving into Damien’s office as Damien goes on his soul searching. Al asks if Hugo thinks Damien is on the up and up, Hugo says all he knows for certain is that Damien doesn’t want to marry Karla. Bobby tells Al that Matt still represents Mili and Matt is a tool.

Speaking of Matt the Tool, we now see what Mari-what-ever-the-hell-her-name is doing, why she is doing Matt. She is having a little tete-a-tete in a café. Now who is the tool Bobby?
Also Matt lose that pleather jacket.

Mili and Flor are having awkward times in the BABY-R-US store. They have different tastes in baby clothes, although they seem to have the same taste in babydaddy. Ewwww jealousy rears it’s ugly head and Flor starts laying down the law. Like keep your hands off my babydaddy, you aren’t stealing him from me.” Mili is like “he is my brother”. Flor, “Drop the act princess, I know, you know that ain’t true”. Mili, “You know? How long have you known?” Flor, “Since before the Wedding”. Mili, “Oh no you dindint”. Mili goes all Naco on her Ass, “You knew, you stole Al from me”. She is grabbing Flor and pushing and shoving. Nice, Mili looks like a complete psycho accosting a pregnant chick in a baby store, where all those people will feel sorry for the preggers girl.

Now to wrap it all up, back at the mansion Brother Damien goes for one last hug of his sister, when Karla steps in pointing the gun at Damien. Consti thinks this is great fun and says, “Maybe Karla is going to help you find God sooner than you thought.”

And el Fin….
Tomorrow looks like Flor’s sister the tramp tells Flor, she must be honest with Al.
Oh as if…

Damien gets all my recappers luv tonite. You rule Damien…beside hopefully the gun is empty.

Labels: guapos