Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Fuego, Monday 7/14 (#55): The tell-tale hearts

Here's a silly thing I did this weekend. Click to enlarge to full size (sorry the photo's blurry - long story).

Also: Special thanks to commenter PanQue for the heads-up about the FelS musical tour, which will include ¡¡¡20!!! US cities.

Short version:
  • The jealousies of Oscar, Franco, Jimena, Sarita, Benito, Eugenia, and Rigo escalate. Rosario stays true to Franco despite serious competition from Bobby. There is a lot of discussion about what everyone's hearts are telling them.

  • Grandpa and Sofia plan to keep the hacienda out of escrow by selling their corn crop. While touring this piece of property, Grandpa notices "FR" carved into a tree and tries to remember why those initials are familiar.

  • Oscar finds out that Feo has a huge gambling debt that could get him killed.

  • Armando pays some townsfolk for information and/or assistance, but we aren't told why.

  • Crabi shows up at the Reyes home, wanting to whip someone senseless. Juan volunteers his broad shoulders for this purpose, in exchange for which Gabi is not to bother any of them again.

  • Crabi tells Raquel the wedding will take place in a week, or else never, and she locks up Sarita and Jimena until then (after smacking them around).

  • Crabi tells her dead husband that Sofia's dead to her. Meanwhile, Juan tells his brothers that he can forgive, and that the vengeance is over.
Long version:

At the church, Juan and Sofi tell the Virgencita statue that they're going to name their baby "Maria Guadalupe" if it's a girl. If a boy, they will name him "George Foreman."

Sofia's wearing much better clothes today - a plain white dress with a red scarf around the middle. Notice she's been wearing colors ever since she left the hacienda? She asks Juan why he's annoyed with Eva. He is saved by the bell, or should I say the whistle - Grandpa, Quintina, Rosendo, and Luisito have arrived.

Quintina, Rosendo, and Luisito retire to the kitchen, leaving Grandpa alone with Sofia and Juan. Grandpa says the hacienda is doing badly, and they're going to have to mortgage it. Sofia doesn't want this to happen - they could lose it. But Grandpa says he's not going to sign those papers until he's sure that the money will be used to pay the hacienda's debt, and not Feonando's. (Juan looks up, curious.)

Grandpa says that's why he came to see Sofi - he's found someone who's interested in their planned corn crop, and will give them an advance.

Juan jumps up and says no, he doesn't want Sofi to go to the hacienda. It's too dangerous there. Grandpa says he'll look out for her.

The Uribes are at the hacienda to pick up their hot dates. Jimena is glad - they've been dying of boredom. Sarita wants to tell Mommy they're going. Jimena nixes this - if they tell her, she won't let them go. Instead she leaves a message with Fatima, the maid, to tell Mommy they went out with their fiances. Now they can go visit Sofia! Sarita glances around nervously as Jimena drags her away.

Juan generously gives Sofia permission to go to the hacienda but begs her to be careful. What a guy! She says she'll be careful, and she won't even get on a horse, especially not Mr. Ed. "Know what? Ever since my father died, his horse gets really nervous when it sees Fernando."

"You didn't tell me that," Grandpa interrupts, but says they'll talk about that later. Juan asks Grandpa to look out for Sofi. Rosendo promises too. He says he'll protect her with his own life, if necessary.

Juan kisses her tummy goodbye.

Maracuya is at the market, admiring some pottery (just what every traveling performer needs!) when the sound of an accordion lures her away to investigate.

Franco is singing for the crowd. The Uribes arrive with their fiancees. Franco signals Oscar, who is eating an apple, with a wink. Oscar makes funny faces at Jimena and lip-syncs at her with his mouth full of half-chewed apple. Jimena pretends to be offended; Octavio looks like he might be enjoying this.

Not far away, Quintina and Pablito try to dash past Hortensia without being seen. They fail. Hortensia wants to know when Quintina is going to enroll Pablito in school. Pablito cowers in terror! (Aw please. You just know that he's going to grow up to become the brilliant scientist who rids the town of the nuclear waste that's been rotting their brains.) Quintina says she's been too busy doing stuff for "Johnny" (Juan); they'll talk about it later, but right now they're going to hear Franco sing, and then she's going to do something with Grandpa... something about his windows or his glasses? In any case it's just an excuse. She and Pablito run like the wind before Hortensia can ask any more questions!

Oscar has his back turned to Jimena; he turns around to wave his apple at her but stops short when he sees Maracuya standing behind her, waving back. Jimena notes the weird look on his face and makes a face of her own. He turns his back again. Jimena catches sight of Maracuya and assumes that all of Oscar's flirting was directed at the Passion Fruit. Maracuya grins mischievously at Jimena, who stalks off. Mara joyfully soaks up the anger.

Franco takes a slightly resistant Sarita in his arms and begins to dance with her while still singing. Oscar stuffs the rest of his apple into confused Octavio's hand and chases Jimena. Maracuya leaves too. Benito takes off on a mission of his own.

Oscar is pacing in the kitchen like a madman. His spurs go jingle, jingle, jingle... Fr. Tadeo tells him to calm down; nothing's going to happen to Sofia. Juan regrets having let her go to the hacienda. He wants to go look for her. The padre reminds him of the perils of reckless behavior and assures her that Sofia will come back in one piece.

Juan unhappily says that he and Sofia are very happy right now, in love. But it's hard for him to go on lying, not telling her that they're really Libia's brothers, and that they originally approached Sofia's family to take revenge on Sofia and her sisters. Fr. T tells him that if he thinks it's time to tell her the truth then do it, but carefully consider what he's going to say.

Sarita now seems to be enjoying her dance with Franco. He lets go of her when the song ends. She runs away, but only far enough to encourage him to follow. (Octavio also starts to follow, still clutching that apple, but Franco stops him.) He reminds her that he doesn't want to go on hurting her, but he's confused. He's not speaking as a macho, but as a man who is suffering. With false bravado, she insists that he's wrong, and he cannot love two women at the same time. (Just for that, I hope she falls in love with someone else.) He says everyone tells him that, but how does he tell his heart not to feel what it shouldn't? How does he tell his heart that it's wrong?

Rosario and Bobby are on stage together. He's singing and she's dancing. Afterwards (but with his song still playing magically as he speaks!), he asks her to join up with him, stay with him, and give him the chance to win her heart. She says sorry, but no, she loves someone else. He says that doesn't matter - he'll do whatever he can to get her to forget him. She again says sorry, but in matters of love, the heart is in charge. She loves Franco and will never stop loving him. Never! Bobby is bummed.

Grandpa, Rosendo, Sofia, and Luisito are on their way to the hacienda. Rosendo asks Sofia to be his kids' godmother (I don't think this is a godmother in the sense we usually mean, but more like a sacramental sponsor) at their first Communion. She agrees and says she was thinking of going back to teaching catechism classes anyway. Grandpa is glad, because this means she's gotten better. (She quit after she was raped, because Feo had grabbed her on the way home from teaching class.) She says Juan helped her conquer all of her fears.

Rosendo says he'd love for Juan to be the godfather, too. Grandpa says the kid(s) couldn't have better godparents. Sofia worries that her mother will find out, get angry with Rosendo, maybe even fire him. He says it's worth the risk, and he has to be loyal to his feelings and his conscience.

Gabi is in the process of purging all of Sofia's things from her closet. In addition to the familiar black and white things, there are a few blue blouses that I've never seen her wear.

Frenzied, Gabi says she's going to burn all of Sofia's stuff. Feo grabs her and says it's really hot when she gets all decisive; nothing can stop her. She twists away from him and says it's a good thing he recognizes that, because that goes for him, too - he'd better not be playing with her or she'll make him pay for his betrayal.

He tries to cheer her up by sticking his tongue down her throat. Again with her noises of revulsion, but she also drops Sofia's clothes and clutches at him like he's the last bacon-wrapped scallop at my best friends' Christmas party. Then she pushes him off and says that's enough and she's busy.

Feo says fine, but he needs her to go get her father to sign those papers. She says she'll never give in to his demands - in exchange for signing, he wants her to let her daughters visit Sofia, and she won't permit that. She's the one who gives the orders around here! And Feo can't pressure her!

Stepping all over Sofia's clothes on the floor, Feo says he's just trying to help, but he'll leave it alone. "If what you want is to lose the hacienda, there you go." Gabi is bug-eyed.

The padre is still at the Reyes house, keeping Juan out of trouble. Juan says that according to what Nabor told him (in jail), Bernardo died under strange circumstances. Tadeo coyly says that hopefully they'll find out what really happened.

Rigo tries to talk to Eugenia, but she pays almost no attention to him. She is looking up and down the street and denies being nervous. Benito shows up and wants to talk. Eugenia tells him they have nothing to discuss; she has a boyfriend; he should try to be happy too. Rigo grabs Benito, shoves him, and punches him. This works in Benito's favor; Eugenia is momentarily upset with Rigo and sympathetic to Benito. The minute Benito notices this and suggests that she still loves him, however, Eugenia gets huffy again and goes off in search of Rigo.

Maracuya is telling Oscar she didn't know Franco was such a great singer. Oscar says Franco's as good as the best, and they have a serenading business, and Oscar's his agent. She says that's great - then she wasn't wrong to ask him to work for her. So how about it?

Oscar says he can't go. And what's he gonna do with a babe-a-saurus like her? (Many suggestions flash through my mind.) He's rough and coarse; he's a small-town guy who will just embarrass her. Mara says no, she always does what my heart tells her; she's been interested in him since she first saw him; he's a guy who's not afraid of anything, and she likes that.

Oscar says he's not accustomed to what she's offering and he's not the kind of guy she wants. Mara replies that fate only knocks once; you gotta answer the door!

Juan's almost finished cleaning up the mess in the bakery. He vows that he'll resurrect the bakery, and it'll be the best in the village.

Feo stands in the driveway with his cigar, waiting, as Rosendo drives Grandpa et al up to the house. The men tell Sofia and Luisito to hide, so they duck down in the back seat. Suspecting nothing, Feo greets Grandpa with a request to sign the documents. Grandpa reminds him that Gabi has to agree to let her grown daughters visit their sister. Feo says if they lose the hacienda it will be Grandpa's fault.

Grandpa says the next time Feo wants to see him, to make an appointment a month in advance so as not to waste Grandpa's super-busy time.

Juan goes into the Trunk of Robles-Reyes Past and finds the gown in which his siblings were baptized. He tells himself that his child will be baptized in it too.

The investor likes the looks of the planned corn site and tells Sofia and Grandpa that they have a deal. He says he's surprised and impressed with her knowledge of farming; she says her father taught her.

Just as they are about to leave, Grandpa is unnerved to see a big "FR" carved into a tree. He's seen those initials before, but he's not sure where.

Hilario tells Oscar that he and his brother are still investigating Feonando. They found out that he likes to gamble, but he's not lucky and he always loses. Oscar muses that Feo must not be as wealthy as he appears. Hilario says he owes big bucks to a guy called "El Coyote" who follows him around, and if Feo doesn't pay up, they'll kill him.

Armando is interviewing some people in the pueblo, giving them money to make them talk. The first woman he asks shakes her head regretfully. The second woman tells him something; he hands her another gangsta roll and leaves. Her friends seem impressed. Unfortunately, this is video only, with tense music. We have no idea what's going on!

"It's all ready - let's go" he says, getting into Feo's truck. They speed away.

Juan is doing some carpentry but can't concentrate. He's worried that his girl is taking so long to come back. He prays that she and his child are okay. He is just about to go get her when Rosendo brings her home safe and sound, as promised.

Juan is not happy to see Eva there too. Sofia explains that she brought her to teach her how to knit. Juan scoffs, scowls at Eva, and shows Sofia the baptism gown in which he and his siblings were baptized. Eva lovingly picks up the bonnet, which Juan has dropped. Sofia oohs and ahhs over the gown. Eva offers him the bonnet. He takes it awkwardly.

A little while later, Sarita and Jimena go into the bakery. Feo, lurking outside in his truck, sees them and leaves. The sisters have a happy reunion, but Sofia worries they'll get in trouble for seeing her. They blow this off and she shows them her two rows of knitting.

Eva is trying to get Juan to forgive her. She says she tried to help Libia that night. Juan replies that Eva could have saved his sister's life, but instead she chose to remain silent, and that silence caused her death. He wants to forgive Eva, but he can't. He never will.

Eva flashes back to her meeting with Libia. She told Libia that Bernardo really loved her. Libi asked, if Eva knew it was the truth, why didn't she say so? She begged Eva to stick up for her and cried "you don't know the pain" before staggering away, blind with heartbreak.

Juan has returned to his carpentry, but now he's in an even worse mood. He knocks over the table and his nice new cabinets and some random pieces of wood. Franco and Oscar come home. Oscar is still sore that Franco wouldn't take payment for singing to their pals at the market, and something about not taking meat from the butcher. Juan tells them they need to put up the wall, paint it, and put up some shelves.

Franco and Oscar tell Juan what Hilario (or is it "Eladio" as the captions say about 50% of the time) told them about Fernando's gambling debt. Pay up or die. They tried to kill him, shot at his truck. "So that's why he wants to mortgage the hacienda," Juan realizes. "That jerk wants to sink the Elizondos!"

Feo is doin' Brandy in the study, Gabi comes in and says she just found out about the shooting. He says it's no big deal; he got the window fixed. She tells him it was probably the Reyes and he should turn them in. Tired, he says he doesn't have any proof. She doesn't care - she wants them in jail again, so that she and Feo can make sure "that bastard" doesn't get born. He says her to forget about that and worry about the hacienda. If she can't come up with the cash he needs, he's mortgaging the place. She screams no, but he tells her she only thinks of her own interests instead of those of others. "For your information, Jimena and Sarita are, right now, at the home of those deadbeats, the Reyes."

Luis, Quintina, Pablito, and Grandpa go to the park with Mariachi and some other dog, and play ball. Then they leave.

Mom goes to the Reyes place and yells at her younger daughters for defying her and visiting their sister. It's the usual argument, but this time she's going to teach them to respect her and her orders - by whipping them!

Sofia offers to take the hit for them instead. (It doesn't occur to any of them to not let Gabi hit ANYONE?) Eva says oh no you don't, she's pregnant. But Sofia offers again, as long as Gabi won't punish anyone else.

Sarita and Jimena cower behind Eva, who offers weak verbal resistance while Gabi raises her arm. Fortunately Juan shows up and stops her. She tries to blame everything on him! She gets ready to leave and tells the younger daughters they'll pay when they get home. Sofi gets in the way and insists that her sisters mustn't take the blame for her. Gabi knocks her down. When Juan tries to pick her up, Gabi whips him.

Eva begs Gabi to have pity. "Nobody takes pity on me," Gabi replies with alligator tears. She says it's either Jimena and Sarita, or Sofia and her child.

Juan tells Gabi that if she must take out her anger on someone, to take it out on him. (I still say take her to jail. Or throw her in the river. I'm not picky.) In exchange, she must promise that she won't bother any of them ever again. Gabi agrees.

I'm used to seeing people do dumb things in telenovelas for plot convenience, but this is enragingly stupid. I appreciate that Juan thinks he's making a meaningful sacrifice, but look who he's dealing with. Anyway, you don't have to cooperate with someone who wants to hurt you. Especially when she's outnumbered and breaking the law. Anyway, what was Eva thinking about just a few minutes ago? Was she not feeling guilty that she didn't stick up for Libia? "Ooh, don't do that" is not an acceptable...

Never mind.

But wait! Someone is putting up a fight... Sofia doesn't approve of Juan's deal, and tries to shield him with her little body. Gabi gives her a warning swat. NOW Eva makes herself useful... she pulls Sofia out of the way so that Gabi can get a clear shot at Juan!

Nice work, Eva. Never mind what I think of Jimena and Sarita who are just watching the whole thing and crying and saying things like "no" but not doing anything else.

So Gabi stands about 10 feet behind Juan and whips him with her much shorter riding crop. Nevertheless, Juan makes it look painful.

Gabriela is crying too, but I don't know why. Is she disappointed she didn't get to beat Sofia? Is she happy-crying like Miss America? Is her arm getting sore? Because you can't tell me she feels guilty about this!

Anyway, more whipping, Sofia wanting to intercede, Eva holding Sofi back. Finally this idiocy is finished and Sofia tells her mother to keep her word and leave. Gabi regains her composure and tells Jimena and Sarita to go. They march ahead like obedient little ducklings.

Moments after Gabi leaves, Oscar and Franco are muy impactados to find Sofia crying on the floor with Juan. He's barely conscious.

The Uribes are having drinks with their auntie at home (the mysterious Ruth is not there) when Gabi bursts in and complains that she's not going to allow any more tricks - Raq's nephews have abused her trust. They have to get married now, or they can't see her daughters again.

Raquel is mystified by Gabi's attitude. Gabi insists that she move up the wedding date. Raq says fine, it's all ready. Gabi says one week. They get married in one week, and that's her last word. (Ha, they should be so lucky.) She marches out. Raquel looks questioningly at her nephews. Benito cracks a nervous grin. Octavio looks like he's awaiting root canal surgery.

Sofia cries and begs Juan's forgiveness as she dresses Juan's painful wounds. Oscar and Franco leave in disgust to discuss. They want Crabi to pay, but Franco says they can't do anything to her without hurting Sofia, because she's her mother. They'll wait till Juan gets better, then decide what to do.

Sofia tells Juan that ever since they've met, he's had only bad luck and sadness. He says no, she's only brought faith, hope and light into his life. Her love has made him a happier man.

Sofi says it pains her that her mother has so much hostility in her heart. "Sometimes I think she hates me, that she's never loved me." Juan says that can't be so. Mothers never hate their children. Never! (More fuel for the babyswap theorists!)

Sofi says she hopes his sacrifice wasn't in vain, and that Crabi doesn't hit her sisters.

Crabi smacks Sarita as soon as they get home. Jimena mentions the agreement with Juan. Crabi replies by smacking Jimena and blames her for corrupting Sarita. She's going to lock them up until they get married next week. She locks the balcony, windows, and of course the regular door. They cry and pound gently on the door so as not to break it.

At the cottage, Eva tells Quintina and Grandpa she couldn't believe how furiously Gabi beat Juan, until he passed out. (Quintina says it's a good thing she wasn't there because she would have tossed her around like a wild animal. I say it's too bad she wasn't there.) Grandpa does not know where it will end, but says it's time to rein Gabi in.

Crabi goes to Bernardo's shrine and tells him that he sowed a bad seed in his children, but from now on Sofia's not her child. She's disowning her! She won't look see her as her mother (heh, like she ever did?). She won't go near her. As far as she's concerned, Sofia's as dead as Bernardo. Totally dead.

Still face-down on the bed because of the sores on his back, Juan tells his brothers no more vengeance. Oscar thinks Crabi should pay. Franco helps Juan up. Juan says no more hate, he doesn't want Sofi to suffer. That damned old lady is her mother, and their child's grandmother.

The brothers say okay, they'll do what he wants, but what can they do with all this suffering and rage and pain?

Juan says he knows it hurts them that that woman beat him, but he doesn't care about her, because he's in love and he can forgive! "I love the woman that I once considered my worst enemy. So do you. No more hostility, no more hate, no more vengeance! No more!"

Then he makes an awful owie face.

Next time:
Feo acts like a jerk.

Labels:


Comments:
EXCELLENT! Hah!
 

Julie...bacon-wrapped scallop!!!??? what a wonderful image.

Thanks for starting my day off right.
 

Oh, and loved the Mom cover. I'm sure Diana Bracho doesn't mind that the image is a litte fuzzy. I prefer fuzzy pictures myself.
 

Thanks so much..Hard one wasn't it? I felt like I was on a WTF two week vacation, geez. The whole whipping scene made me just sit there with my mouth open..then lol, I mean who the hell would let some dried up hag, beat them like that? Yes, I get the Juan makes a sacrifice episode. And what about dumb ass Sofie, are there no PSA pregnancy pamplets in that town? I am pretty sure the printing press was invented before "Brigadoon". Sofie rides horses, gets smacked around, so here is a really good idea, I'll sneak over to the ole' homestead. Cause that would be best for my baby. Please in the name of all that is holy and all 365 of the calendar saints..please let this be the shortest pregnancy in TeleNovela history. Please do make us suffer through does Sofie loose the kid every freekin episode.

I just don't know what to say without further studies, I don't know how much of these peoples stupidity is due to genetic problems, how much is due to toxic glowing waste and how much is due to further dna mutations and possibly how much is due to poor early diet (kids don't wise up on pan alone)

PS. Juan the Passions Pirates would have kicked your ass, you cried from a beating by a skinny old lady.

Oh yes and ONE MORE THING, I can't think of any greater advertisement for the Mother Church than, great statues, fun saint fiesta and getting locked in a convent for life. That seals the deal for me.
 

Julie
BWAAAAHHHAA
I went back and enlarged the magazine. Very funny very good.
 

Julie: Thanks for all the details. In what world would a crazy woman have the right to whip anyone? In what world would four women not try to overpower her? In what world would a grown man agree to take a beating for no good reason in this world? OK, I know, this is telenovelaland and anything can happen.

Why is Oscar always eating? He seems to have something in his mouth to chew on whether he's speaking or not speaking. This must be some mysterious substitute for dialogue. If you can't think of anything for the actor to say, then give him an apple or a piece of bread.

OMG - Maracuya's acting??? I'm not feeling it. Also, experts out there - is she speaking Spanish with an American accent?

Regards from lower Ala
 

Ok, let's take a poll--raise your hand--how many of you are going to stand around and watch while some demented Bruja comes flying into your house brandishing a whip just aching to smack somebody? Not me! I'd have snatched that whip so fast she wouldn't have known what hit her. Then I would whip the number 666 on her forehand, grabbed her by her bun and drug her out the door smacking her all the way!!!!

It is getting harder and harder to feel sorry for those girls when they out number Crabi but stand around and wait for her to hit them. Then you have Eva sniveling in the corner "For the love of God"...and what kind of girlie-man lets some crazy woman whip him. And last but not least, you have Snofia who stubbs her toe and cries MI HIJO, MI HIJO! Little Miss Muffet go sit on your tuffet and shut the hell up! :)
 

Thanks ,Julie***You rock !!! I love the way your mind works. I had a really busy weekend and fell asleep before Fuego started. I woke up to Crazy Crabi having a hissyfit at the Casa Reyes and wielding a whip as she threatened her daughters .[See, I told you she had a whip in the opening credits.] . Then...que the hell????...she's whipping Mighty Joe Juan with that tiny whip in her tiny hand???? Huh? Was this supposed to be like a ''Crabi the dominatrix'' type of thing ? ...Crabiella, Kitten with a Whip. I must add, that I am a little disappointed that Crabi did not stamp her little foot and demand that Juan take his rooster shirt off before she started his punishment ....I mean, really... in Alborado, the guards ripped off the back of Hippolita's frock before administering her thrashing at the hands of that ginormous executioner/whipper fellow. This show is getting more and more surreal as we fall deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. As for the contest for the MVV trophy [Most Valuable Villain]...My vote goes to Crabi. Ferd is a mean, amorale, greedy, sadistic guy who wants money and power [as so many people do] to keep him in cowboy hats and cigars and allow him to continue his favorite vices, including betting on cockfights, losing at cards, and trying to get lucky with someone...almost anyone . Crabi , on the other hand, is a miserable, demented creature who seems to get pleasure from nothing and no one. She won't even give herself permission to get crazy with Ferd. She doesn't want anyone to be happy because she is unable to be happy...about anything...ever. Crabi is pathetic...Ferd is just an oxygen waster and an opportunist. P.S. I love the name of Ferd's bar, and I think it would have been an ideal name for this telenovela ...''Bad Love.''
 

Thanks, Julie. I will never look at a bacon wrapped hor d'oeuvre the same way again..... As for Juan and that overtly religious metaphor Mejia chose to hammer us with, I am wondering if Juan's "no more bitterness/rancor or vengeance" goes for his relationship toward Eva now as well, or is this a pick and choose? (Nothing wrong with religious metaphors as literature is filled with 'em, but there is something to be said for subtlety.) Anywhoo, I half expected Gabi to turn around and throw Juan back the box with his cajones in it and swallow the key with a witchy cackling "Eh-he-he-he-he-e-e-e-e!!"
 

I think "The Boss" should hire Crabi to be his Enforcer. Apparently Coyote isn't up for the job but Crabi..she could run up to them with her little whip and say, "Pay up or else!" Smack, smack, smack. She really seems to like that kind of thing.
 

Julie- loved the magazine cover!! And the recap, too!! What a wacko scene with Juan as the whippin boy! I cheated and watched the scene on utube a couple of days ago, and it was- WTF??? It was even more bizzare in its complete context. Juan had the whip, any REASONABLE man/protector would have kept the whip and thrown the old bag out, or even called the cops (oh, no telefonos). And the deal that thye made- his being whipped in exchange for Crabi's promise to leave the sisters alone inpeace?!? Even a heliumhead like Juan would know to not make a deal with a demon. She instantly breaks the promise. hmmm. does this remove the gloves for the future?..I'm hoping that the planned corn crop comes in time for the proceeds to help the hacienda- 90-100 days? That should be plenty of time for El Jefe to be patient with Feo, maybe even shoot at him with a bb gun next time, but actually aim for his nalgas...Who is FR of the carved initials fame- I thought that (J)uan (R)eyes did the defacing on the tree, or was hit his papi? lots of questions to be answered in a wacko way, no doubt...
 

Yeah, Beckster, I'm really hoping we can skip through a few months of this creepy pregnancy with a cool montage like they had in Mundo de Fieras.
 

Julie -- LOVE, Love, love the magazine cover!!! LOL!!!

Great recap and thank you for it. It filled in some gaps I missed while watching. I also appreciate the short version at the top. That would be great all the time (hint hint) in case we have no time to read the whole script.

pasofino - Oscar may have an oral fixation. He smokes, too, doesn't he? Maybe he's always got to have something in his mouth.

OMGawd the whip scene. I ranted on that over at the telenovela-world foro. It was a riding crop as best I could see. It wouldn't have put those cuts on his back. Gabi the dominatrix. Ooohhh... she really enjoyed that. scary stuff

What a bunch of imbeciles. Nuclear waste effect there. Was this telenovela written by a thirteen year old? (I can hear Olga now... "monkey writers!") I miss her. Sarita and Jimena either are total idiots or suffer from severe---and I mean really severe Stockholm Syndrome.

doris
 

Quick answers:

FR was the dad. (Maybe he's not really dead! Maybe he's The Boss! Yes, I am dreaming... I just can't shake off the feeling that The Boss is going to be someone interesting.)

Yes, Crabi's weapon was a riding crop - I image-googled it to make sure (since I don't know much about horsey stuff) - makes a big noise, but presumably doesn't hurt too much.

And the passion fruit's accent is Cuban.
 

Now about that baby swap thing.

It seems that Crabi believes that Sofia is her child. Otherwise, I think she would have gloated about the swap during her speech at Bernardo's shrine, instead of making a big deal about disowning her.

That doesn't necessarily mean there wasn't a swap, though - either engineered by someone else, or maybe even done by mistake.

I can't figure out any way that would make sense, though. Who else would have a motive; and if an accident, how would it benefit the plot?

My whole enjoyment of the swap theory was based on imagining that self-righteous Crabi had had an affair, and wanted to get rid of the resulting baby by swapping with unwitting Eva.

Oh well. We've still got some months to go.
 

re: baby swap---well, anything is possible in Telenovelaland. I still think Sofia is Bernardo's daughter. The guy was old enough to be Libia's grandfather, yet he met the bros. Reyes, thought he could marry Libia and take care of their baby.... as if he wasn't already married---and to the Wicked Witch of the West!
Definitely not the brightest bulb on the string; a donut short of a dozen; the lights are on but nobody's home. Sofia gives confirmation to the old saying 'the fruit didn't fall far from the tree.'

doris
 

What in the wide wide world of sports did I miss?? Didn't see Friday or most of last night so I must read up...

Thanks for everyone's amusing responses to my vacation dilemma. Roosters on my bathing suit might tip them off that something is amiss!

BRB!!

Mad Mag
 

I can't believe I called Juan "Rodrigo" twice in a row. (Actually, yes I can...) I'll go fix that now :-)
 

I still call him that too Julie. I didn't even notice. How funny!
 

Julie and Doris: I love the oral fixation idea. I'm going to think of it every time I see Oscar chewing on something. Yuck.

So, Pasion Fruit is Cuban. But, she doesn't sound like Cristina.
 

I think Cristina's been in Miami for a long time. And some people seem to shed/pick up accents more easily than others. Maybe that's the difference?

I don't know much about the accents, honestly. I do know that Niyucka's Cuban, and that people have commented before on her heavy accent. But if she was faking some other type of accent (successfully or not) this time I probably wouldn't know the difference!
 

Great Recap. Here's the thing. I love my own mother. The woman is practically a saint. But if I were pregnant and she kept hitting me and even knocked me to the ground and hit my belly with a whip:Id punch her.Or have her committed.The grandfather has some money. The two younger girls need to borrow some move out and get a job. This show makes no sense in this century.Niurka is Cuban I believe.
 

Whew! I'm breathless. Before I rant, MANY thanks to Jardinera & Julie for keeping me abreast (I couldn't resist that one) of the sitution in Ciudad Chernobyl. Too many funny bits to repeat, especially since I'm 2 days behind...you guys are GREAT!!!!!

Sorry I missed YuckA's classy show on Friday. Damn! Sounds like it was priceless.

Came in last night when Snofia was applying some Bactine to Mighty Joe Juan's wounds. Silly me--I figured Feo had finally taken out some of his (ahem) frustrations out on Juan. But no! It was Crabi!!! I'm with you guys. What a colossal bunch of pansy pants! Is she really so frightening that 4 women & a ginormous man can't take the whip out of her hand? Oh no, let's submit to punishment that was last handed out during the Inquistion. Yeah, that works. [insert major eye roll here]

And when Sneerita got a taste of some Mommy dearest-loving, did she finally wake up & smell the coffee? Yeesh!

The age conundrum that was discussed earlier goes hand in hand with the time/space continuum that is completely off kilter. Maybe the writers were dipping their pens in some leftover nuclear waste when they wrote this?

NO WAY can I possibly go a full week without a dose of FELS. Looks like I'll be hiding in a closet with my TV on vacation or I'll wrangle the family into watching with me. I figure a few Coronas or several margaritas might convince them this is "Must See" TV!!

Mad Mag (in desperate need of some R&R)
:-)

p.s. somehow lost my blog account & I've been too lazy to figure out why but I'll always sign my name. I love getting replies from mi amigas/amigos!
 

Other things I can't figure out..

In these things they are always threatening to send daughters to a convent, Hello? WTH? I mean you can send them to an all girl highschool, but can't lock people with wrinkles up in a Catholic convent...That get thee to a nunnery is so pre reformation.

This is Mexico not Saudi Arabia, why don't those dumb ass daughters leave? I mean if I had to move in with anyone I would go. I have seen many a TeleNovela villian, but this bitch brings it, and what a group of spineless wusses. Granted I'm sure their is a chance that daughter and new lover would be whacked, (yeah and I'm not talking about TeleNovelas. And if Gabi's heart was gonna explode and she was gonna die, I think she would indeed have done it last night.

Now take a poll, how many episodes tell Sofie is placing herself back in danger, one maybe two?
 

Previous to this, I thought Crabi offering "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" at the party for her grown daughters was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen in a telenovela. But at least we could scoff at it cheerfully.

The Whipping of Juan not only beats that record, but smashes it. Plus, not funny.

For a telenovela that used up the better part of an hour a few weeks ago trying to convince people to preserve their community's Holy Week traditions, I thought it fell a bit short in the message department last night.

Guess I will have to turn to "Querida Enemiga" for my morality lessons instead. ;-)
 

Oh please. If Sofia is in tonight's episode at all I'm sure she'll put herself in harm's way, unless her new knitting hobby keeps her out of trouble for a while.

It's funny that she can be so fearless, and yet so ineffective.

I don't get how being sent to a convent is a big threat either. The nuns there (who seem pretty nice) can't exactly afford to put up people who don't want to be there, so it's not as if you'd be sending the sisters to jail. It would be a safe place for them to stay until they got jobs (in what profession I have no idea) and then they could move out.

I also noticed that Gabi failed to drop fake-dead from her fake-illness last night. When she made her "miraculous recovery" I thought that was just to explain how she could move her face again, but apparently her entire condition reversed itself. Amazing.
 

Great recap, Julie. Well, you all have said it in spades. That whipping scene was completely ridiculous. At least Sarita looked a little bit "displeased" with her querida mami for once. I had a small moment's hope when they almost looked defiant that they wouldn't leave with her, but no. Gotta hand it to Diana Bracho. She does lunatic with tears rolling down her cheeks really well.

Theories on Armando's bribing scene: Bribing people to return to the Bad Love bar??? Or another "frame the Hermanos Reyes" scheme???

Did anyone notice the size of that christening dress? It would have fit a five year old pretty well. Can't imagine a newborn Juan Jose or Maria Guadalupe in it.
 

julie you've out done yourself with that cover. Dahling, just dahling!!!!
 

I agree! That cover was spectacular! Where is Fr. Bouffy when you need him? He could have given Crabi an exorcism or something. (Maybe just a good old fashioned ass whoopin')
 

I forgot about the bribery thing. First thing I thought of was trying to frame someone or arrange a murder. But you wouldn't do such things in front of witnesses - bribe or no bribe.

Then I thought maybe he was trying to get some kind of info about The Boss, but even that would require more discretion than Armando was exercising...

I think Armando and Feo were looking for someone. But who could it be?

Or maybe he was paying people to give Rigo and Hilario misleading info about Feo?

And where the hell is Raquel's husband? I'm really getting curious!
 

I think maybe they were paying people not to go to the new club.
 

Hi, Julie, thanks for good recap of awful chapter! Thanks for pat on head at top of page too. I love the magazine cover you made, you are really talented!!

For a long time I've been wondering how come the "girls" who are locked in their rooms don't just bust out the glass french door windows -- all their doors are glass paneled, including the balcony doors. Then just step through and take off for parts unknown!! Sheesh!

Yeah, Oscar has an oral fixation, is always either eating or smoking.

Niurka doesn't sound like Cristina because Niurka is Cuban and Cristina is Venezolana.

PanQue
 

WOW Julie! What a great job you have done here! Okay I almost bathed my keyboard in the soup from my mouth when I read they would be naming their son George Forman.

The whipping scene, so ancient. This show makes these crazy time warps. Juan taking the beating for the girls is so historical romance novel, but not when there are Excalades out in the street. And if he comes clean with Sophia and she can't forgive him, after what he just went through, well then she deserves Crabi!

Love the magazine cover, you are on a roll!

Enough with the beating, its summer, lets get back to the swimming hole and those smok'n white shorts those boys wear!

At least the pace has picked up, can't wait to see what happens next!
 

Oh, meant to also say that this thing of will-Sofia-lose-the-baby-during-this-chapter? is getting kind of tired. I agree with (was it Beckster who said it?), and am wondering how Long a Pregnancy Sofia will put us through like this.

Whales have a 2 year gestation period, so I'm guessing that Sofia might be competing for longest running pregnancy by land mammal.

PanQue
 

LOL on the Mom Cover, Julie! You're so clever and talented-big laughs all around!

We lost tv reception on just that one channel for that one hour. I'm so glad I didn't have to transport into the twilight zone for that weird episode. I'm going to pray to the calendar saints that we don't have to continually lower the stupidity bar of this story. I think we should send Connie in to straighten out that bunch...
;-}
jb
 

Julie: just clicked on the magazine cover...you are so creative! And wickedly funny!!

(sorry...I've been in slo mo all day today...I should have clicked on it earlier)

Mad Maggie ROTFLOL
 

I would be more than happy to go in and take Crabi out. She makes me crazy! But it makes me crazier to watch those "girls" stand around like jibbering idiots. There are 3 of them and 1 of her. Four if you count Eva. Surely between the three of them they can muster enough strength to grab the whip from her. I'd like to see her attempt to take a whip to Mara. Now that would be funny!
 

Cristina is not Venezuelan. She was born in Havana, Cuba
 

I kind of thought that Juan & Sofia might name their child "Concha" if it's a girl...

jajaja
 

sorry that last comment about the baby's name was from me, PanQue...
 

Question re: Pasion de Gavilanes..... did it have this whip-Juan scene, and were the Sarita & Jimena charactres equally as spineless? Gaaaaaaaah..... I know Telemundo shows have their own 'flavor' but was PdG as ridiculous as FELS?


novelera--- ITA about the size of that baby dress. Nuclear radiation probably made it grow eighteen sizes.

doris
 

sheesh, just can't get them all into one little box, can ya'! Sorry.

Julie I loved when you said "Juan goes into the Trunk of Robles-Reyes Past" hahahaha

Now I understand the huge christening dress, since he must have bought that for the sibs when they were little. But...I've been wondering how he got all that other stuff that had belonged to his parents, when they showed him taking off with his siblings in a horse cart in a big hurry on the night the parents died.

Maybe one of you guys with tivo could look and see if that cart had a big trunk in it? I just have regular tv with no super powers.

And how could a little kid be hauling around that huge trunk and all the little siblings for 20 years or so, traveling from town to town -- since Juan mentioned that they had lived their childhoods like that.

Guess it's another one of those telenovela things that are understood in faith??

PanQue
 

Thanks, PanQue... maybe baby #2 will be Concha!

You're probably right, Connie, about them bribing people to avoid the new nightclub; hopefully (from Feo's viewpoint) the folks will turn around and spend all that money at the Malquerida tonight instead. Maracuya will finish her brief engagement at the Tumbao soon, and then what are the Uribes going to do to attract people? Has anyone mentioned mud wrestling or karaoke yet?
 

PanQue, PanQue, PanQue...you must never apply logic when you are in FELS-land. You must let the nonsense flow over you, leave all though processes behind, breath deep from the well of ridiculous and only then can you submit to the pointless, mindless entertainment we affectionately refer to as Wonderland.

Mad Mag
:-)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

correction: "thought processes"

(see? the mind is completely lost in a vortex of nonsense)

MM
 

Fancy baptismal gowns are typically long, but I've never seen one that wide. Don't forget that it had to fit Juan, though... he was probably born with gigantic shoulders.

(His poor mom!)

I've wondered about that trunk, too. It's a little like Mary Poppins's bottomless carpet bag.

I've also wondered when his parents had time to pack the trunk, tell Juan who to give the jewelry to, etc. in such a hurry. And it seems they left out some very important information, such as the location of their property. (Juan's got a map, but it doesn't seem to have any coordinates or local context.)
 

The magazine cover is a scream as well as the recap.

I am still trying to recover from one of the looniest, weirdest and most surreal novela episodes ever filmed. Bertha on the island with dolls hanging from trees is close.

Was Crabi getting a high from all the whipping? She looked too emotionally involved to me.

It's difficult liking any of these weak willed characters While Sarita was sobbing, Jimena was just looking on calmly. Maybe she was just as stunned as we were but all the strange things going on. There is no way to make sense or reason out of much of what's going on. Since I never know what crazy thing the novela will throw at us next, I must keep watching.

G in CA
 

Julie !!!***I just enlarged your cover story and read the headings. You SHOULD be writing for SNL. Great stuff. Very funny...very creative. And, if pressed to say one good thing about Crabi, I would have to admit that the mujer can wear a hat. Crabi looks downright jaunty in a chapeau. Also, I've enjoyed reading all the comments. We should all congratulate ourselves for seeing this novela as a ''glass half full'' and making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. By the way, if the initials in the tree [F.R.] stand for Papa Reyes, and this land was his land [not your land and my land as stated in the song] , how did Augustin make it a part of his estate ??? Did he buy it from the guys who murdered the boys' parents ???? Will these murderers turn out to be people we've already met in this novela ???...And, lastly, just the mere idea of delivering those broad shoulders sends shivers up and down my spine. Hats off to Juan's mamacita. When I delivered my under- 6- pound babies , there were a couple 11 pound babies in the nursery...Wowee wow ... so one baby weighed more than both of my little peanuts.
 

Since we like lists here’s a new one:

What we dislike and like (ha) about Crabi:

Dislike:
1. Hits the “help.”
2. Hits her daughters.
3. Hits Juan
4. Basically hits everyone
except Feo
5. Tries to burn daughter
6. Locks daughters in their
rooms
7. She is a sociopath
8. She is a megalomaniac
9. Hates children
10. Steals (and probably
sells) children
11. Eats children (This has
not been confirmed but I
would not be surprised)
12. Fakes illness and then has
a “miraculous” recovery

Likes:
1. Hmmmmm…..
2. Uh…..
3. Well…..
4. NOTHING

Please feel free to add more
 

I don't know where the funny characters came from in my post so just ignore them.
 

Thanks for this great recap Julie and the mock mag. You are an endless source of entertainment.
 

Julie: Holy recap, Batman! It was great!
But I can't remember the last time I felt such angst while watching a TV show...I don't know what was more disturbing, the beating, or the watching in impotent horror and nobody doing anything. Has anyone ever heard of "grab the whip and break it over your knee"?
That Crabi seriously needs her own big oval mirror and a poison apple, 'cause it feels like we have drifted into Fairytale Land...
"Creemelo"
 

Julie, I don't know which was funnier and more fabulous--your recap or the magazine cover.
Crabi with the riding crop was totally over the top. I'm amazed that the actors could play that scene without cracking up. I googled info on riding crops, just to check: "a short whip without a lash"..."intended to be less painful". It has to be the toxic waste effect that allowed the crop's leather tongue to create long bloody wounds on Juan's back. And, he had to sacrifice that fine rooster shirt, 'cause the crop must have torn the back of it to shreds. "No wire hangers" also came to mind. I googled "mommie dearest quotes" and read quite a few that sounded like they could have come from Crabi's lips.
Hard to believe Jimena and Sarita won't at least run away if they can't stand up to Crabi.
La Paloma
 

Hey the baptism dress thing, I've been to several of this functions, sometimes the kid is like three or four. Actually I must be truthful like weddings we skip the ceremony, but love the after party. Maybe the parents are saving up money cause these things run into big bucks, what with the band, food & beer.

Now this is what I like about Crabi..at least once an episode someone says, you'll not hit me again...as if, Crabi just smacks the crap out of them again.

I think the deal with Cristina/Nuirka is Cristina came from an educated, upper class family, Nuirka left Cuba to Mexico in search of a better life. (so says Wikipedia). I asked my husband and he says she sounds very uneducated when she talks, uses alot of street slang, vulgar comments, talks on and on about her sexual prowness and so on. Think Britney vs one of the Kennedys.

Blood will tell
 

Oh yeah, I forgot, I am totally sure this nonsense is to die for in Mexico. Like three years ago, my husband & I were watching La Madrestra (sp?), and it was the big scene where Cesar Evora just kept getting devestating news, like two kids were in the hospital and his third lil blonde daughter was in a car accident,(it was a really stupid shot, the car was going like 10 miles an hour) my husband and I were laughing so hard we were crying. The whole family just starred at us with open mouths, his four year old niece yelled Callate at us, which made us laugh even more and the kid burst into tears.

These people are probably lighting candles for the baby.
 

If Sofia wore her blue dress and white smock while Crabi whipped Juan, it would definitely have been a scene from a modern version of Alice in Wonderland. I can see Crabi screaming, "Off with your head!"
 

It seems the Mexican novela watchers aren't as cynical as we are and are much more willing to "leave their brain at the door" for the sake of drama. My Mexican friend doesn't get near the same amusement I do out of this. She takes it a lot more seriously. Every once in awhile tho she'll break out laughing about something ridiculous and we have a good laugh. In my opinion Niurka was a lot more likeable on La Fea and had a sweeter look as a blonde.
 

Julie, Thanks for your amazing recap. Wonderful cover art, we could start Caray, Caray, the Magazine! This was a painful episode, I couldn't really watch the beating part either of the two times I saw the episode last night. So unreal.

I think FR is Familia Reyes.

This story seems to be employing some of the literary genre style of Magical Realism but doesn't put in enough realism for it to really work out.
 

The whole threaten to send you to the convent thing and the punishment by whipping is 19th century victorian era attitudes in former and current spanish colonies of that era. They threatened to send disobedient girls to the convent to later make them nuns,thus not being able to marry. :)

Niurka/Maracuya is Cuban/Puerto rican I think that went to mexico in her teens,became a model then singer actress. I was just going to comment that she speaks spanish a little different. Though it is clear. I have a much harder time understanding real people or boxers speak spanish.

It is driving me nuts though that the setting is "modern" without any visible "tech" items like cellphone,computer,tv. Though there is a built in dvd player in one of the suv's :D ;)

Funny seeing modern soccer kits and portable goal. :)

All that being said, I still feel disturbed about the whipping scene. I've never seen someone punish someone like that, munless it is really and trully a bad guy torturing a protagonist. (Gabi is bad, but talking about true vilains, ladrons and bandidos) To underscore what i'm saying you have to have seen it or at least view it again. Here are the clips.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDXu7T_YdJg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfS2f89oSs8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMN1YDvuGUI

Capitulo/Episode 55 part 5,6,7

Talk about meaness.... Unbelievable
interesting censors don't mind a litle violence, but implied nudity by Maracuya is a no-no. LMAO.

The girls mindset is to never defy thier mother. If that was any of us, we would have committed matricide. heh.

Watching Fuego reminds me of the parents of some ex- girlfriends... real strict. Dated spanish and filipino girls and Gabriela is a much more exaggerated version of it....

Ibarramedia
 

I just got an emsil from my best amiga with some funny sayings , and one of them made me think of Crabi : ''If it's not one thing...it's your mother.'' About the convent threat...I had a friend who used to threaten to send her daughter to the local Catholic school. When Katie was in seventh grade, she ASKED to go to Catholic school because she said that everyone in her public school was too concerned about what people wore. My friend had to then scrap up the tuition. So the morale is : Be careful about your threats as you may have to follow through on them. Jimena and Sarita would be better off in a convent with sane people. Crabi is the Wicked Witch/Evil NotStepMother . She is such a warped caricature. We must keep reminding ourselves to suspend disbelief if we want to stay with this novela to the bitter or better end.
 

Julie: Forgot to tell you what a riot your mag cover was! Were you thinking of any others to add?

PanQue: I remember that when Little Juan escaped with his siblings that he jumped into a waiting wagon in the barn that had a trunk already in the back sticking visibly up. I assumed one of his parents had it put there in anticipation of trouble and that the wagon was the way they got around initially and that it is the same trunk he's got the documents and family mementos in now.
 

beckster - your last post had me totally cracking up. My DH came in from the other end of the house, asking what I was watching. Umm... nothing... just reading the foro. ;o)

doris
 

Who was it who wondered how long it would be before Sofia's baby was in danger again? We didn't have to wait very long. It just took till the next show.
 

Hi, Jardinera, thanks for remembering the scene where little Juan & siblings were escaping in the wagon -- I remembered the wagon, and him tucking the little kids under something like a tarp, and vaguely remember a trunk, but I only have regular tv. Often my canal televisa comes in fuzzy too, so sometimes things aren't clear.

You're right, maybe their parents put the cart with trunk together for them for just in case. Though that still seems to logical for this telenovela!

And to one of the others of you above, I agree -- it sure did look like Crabi was totally getting high on whacking the heck out of everybody and especially Juan's back. Also in agreement with Dorado Dave -- Juan is like 4X bigger than everybody else in town, why doesn't he just pick Crabi up and throw her out in the street along with her stupid little riding crop? The story is becoming fairytale Scary!

Crabi and Feo are going to have a hard time in telenovela payback hell, anyway we all seem to be hoping so!

Beckster you are totally funny - these people are all examples of what happens when there's not enough genetic diversity. They'll all be joining the Darwin Club if they don't smarten up soon!

PanQue
 

I'd love to do more magazine covers, but that one took TOOOO long!

I got the idea a few weeks ago when Gabi was pretending to be a warm person and it was very awkward. I thought, "she must have learned how to do that from a magazine article."

And thus was Mean Mom Mag born. It's published by Gabriela, and her face is on every cover. She mails it out free of charge to a secret list of mean telenovela moms.

I'd love to do another cover, but that one took forever... much longer than the one hour I had planned to spend.

Plus, I overwrote the source file (the Word file from which I generated the graphic) by mistake, so I can't just use it as a template to make the next one. That would have saved a lot of time.
 

"If it's not one thing, it's your mother"...funny! That would make a superb recap title.

Wonderful recap, amazing magazine cover, you rock Julie! Thank you for your hard work, the world appreciates you. I'm amazed.
 

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