Caray, Caray!

Buenas noches a todos.

Alternative title: If I had a dollar for everytime some Mexican couple had sex under a tree, I'd have five dollars. (Folks, guitars weren't the only things being stroked tonight.)

As Sarita and Jimena are checking-out the new club in town, Jimena tells Sarita that she had a little visitor on her balcony last night--none other than Oscar! Sarita questions whether Oscar’s priestly duties entail midnights on the balcony. However, Jimena tells her that Oscar isn’t going to be a priest, and that they are going to get married (what else is new?).

Just then the new showgirl in town, a.k.a. potty-mouth, falls desperately into the strong arms of Oscar. Maracucha’s long, pointy fingernails dig into Oscar’s biceps just long enough for Jimena to see that and the loving countenance of Mara. Jealous and hurt, Jimmena introduces herself and Sarita as the fiancées of Benny and Octavio. Uh oh. Oscar is so outraged that he actually picks up the hammer, only to slam it on his thumb. Jimena kisses Benny and then shows Mara that gorgeous ring that her wonderful honey- bun gave her. Of course Benny has never had so much action with a girl in his life and needs to wipe off Jimena’s kisses with a hanky.

Juan is beside himself with anger. Padre Tadeo is with him and they are faced with the problem of remodeling the Bakery. Seeing that God will never abandon the Reyes, He has prepared an oven for them in the local Orphanage. Juan is so excited, and rattles off all the yummy breads that he is going to prepare for everyone.

Frankie and Rosie are sharing some pretty sexy scenes out in the jungle. Frankie, who is wearing some pretty tight, white briefs, is holding the slightly naked Rosie in his arms as she straddles his nether regions. And to think all of this is happening on some straw mat, next to a fire, accompanied by a smooth voice, and a few strokes of Frankie’s guitar-- no pun intended. How sexy!

It must be opposites night because we see Madam NOT Sexy, a.k.a. Sarita, reproaching the ever-confused fiancée. Apparently Jimena is an idiot for thinking that Oscar could love her. Jimena admits that he does have some negative qualities…

Mara, the innocent bar girl, tells Oscar that Jimena can’t be his girlfriend. Why? Because Jimena doesn’t trust Oscar. Why should she? Anyway, Mara invites Oscar to spend some time with her. Sounds like trouble…

Well Gramps and Quitina are preparing for flight as Quintina relates the story of Juan saving Sofia from the fire. Eva comes in and tells Gramps that Gabi wants to see him. He tells Eva that if Gabi wants to see him, she has to come and see him--and that’s final! Gramps has an important mission for Quinti.

Sofia and Juan admire that trophy that Juan won for the trick his stunt-double did. Sofia says that they sure did take a lot of heat for that. That was the time that they first talked, and everything has been great ever since. They decide to take the trophy with them.

Gabi goes out to the cabin and is greeted at the door by a fine young man in a tuxedo, oh wait, that’s Quinti, never mind. However, Gabi failed to make a reservation to see His Majesty, and therefore cannot enter. Luckily His Excellency can spare two minutes for his daughter. She has come to have Gramps sign those papers that will give her money from his fortune; he’s not giving them.

And the moment of truth. The four fiancées admit that none of them is in love with each other, but they will put on a show until they figure something else out.

Fernie has gone to visit Raquel. Fernie asks her about last night, but she was so hammered that she doesn’t remember anything. It’s a good thing, too, because Fernie was kissing her, and no one wants to remember such an experience. Fernie, who knows a boob when he sees one, and he’s seen many where he works, admits that this will be like taking candy from a baby, which he has probably done in the past.

Speaking of Sugar Mamas, Sofia is blindly offering Juan her savings. He sort of refuses it, but we know he’ll take it. Just then we hear a plane. False alarm; it’s Gramps accompanied by Quinti in her aviators and leather jacket. We all know how cold Mexico is in the summer… I think part of hanging around Gramps means that you start to act the part of random characters and their occupations until you actually believe that you are that character. Anyway, Gramps has come to offer Juan some of those Chuck-E-Cheese coins. Juan refuses them because he knows that the local soda machines won’t accept them. On second thought those crazy investors will accept them, so he decides to go against his pride once again.

Fernie now has a lot of confidence in Raquel, and therefore asks her for some money. You see, he finds her really attractive and nice, and thought that she would be just the woman to lend him some money. She is delighted that he thought to ask her for fiscal help, however the moment loses something when Gabi pulls up in her SUV and is surprised to see Fernie.

Raquel tells Gabi and Fernie that she can’t give them the money until she talks it over with her husband. Well, if he’s half as stupid as Raquel he’ll still probably agree to this. Gabi reprimands Fernie for not having any shame. Lay off; he’s only trying to protect your interests. Gabi tells him that he doesn’t want her as an enemy because she doesn’t forgive or forget anything.

Time for Rosie to make that trip. Granny Eva is going to take care of Luisito. Rosie is a basket case for leaving the kid, but she’s gotta make a living somehow.

Oscar, the financial advisor of the family, is crying because they don’t have a cent to their name. So, they are going to sell those boot-spikes for money. In other news, Frankie is suffering because he doesn’t know which woman he likes best: Rosie; the vivacious, sexy, yet highly unstable broad, or Sarita; the border-line socio-path who has no soul, no breasts, and everyone thinks she’s a nun. I’d go with Ruth, and I’ve never seen the girl in my life.
So now that Pablito is the new live-in/son of three fathers, he has to pull his weight around the house, something that Oscar heavily enforces. He doesn’t care where the money goes, just as long as he still has three fathers, a grandpa, and an aunt. Unconventional families are ubiquitous, even in rural Mexico, where they still use the gold standard. Oh, but Pablito is saddened when he remembers that biologically he must have a mother. Everyone quiets down, and Sofia, the only woman who hasn’t been assigned a fake familiar role, offers to be his mother. Well, if Juan is Pablito’s father, and Sofia is Pablito’s mother, then Juan and Sofia must be husband and wife! And therefore, Juan’s brother Oscar would be Pablito’s uncle, who is also his father, who therefore would be Juan’s husband in this unconventional family; meaning the local authorities would arrest the family for a whole array of things, and Sofia, who is the mother and three times wife, would be left alone with Gramps and Quinti to run the local family airport.

Uh oh. The vulture Gabi spots Luisito, and wants to know why he’s there. Eva tells her that it’s her grandson. Gabi wants him out of there; it’s not her problem that he’s only a baby and has no place to go. Gabi is appalled by Eva’s behavior; she doesn’t like that they were eating peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches apparently.

So Pablito has found the picture of Libia, shows it to Quinti, who says it’s a saint and refuses to show it to Sofia because it is dirty. Sofia is suspicious.

Now that Juan works in an Orphanage, he has taken the role of home-economics instructor. He teaches the children how to make bread for his company, and the best part is that the children do the labor for free. Though the oven here is different because you can grab the pan with your bare hands-right out of the oven!

Luckily for Eva, Gramps is going to let her Luisito stay with him. And Luisito is now a General in Gramps’s army!

Big night at the Tumbao, and everyone who’s anyone is there. Frankie and Oscar are playing the field tonight, but they can’t score it big with Jimena and Sarita because those girls are caressing their fiancées. Here comes Mara, who gives Oscar a virtual belly dance.

Bedtime for Sofia. And before she falls asleep Juan brings her some heart-shaped S-bread. Juan says that if his son turns out to be a daughter, he will love her more because she will be like Sofia. Then he tells Sofia about his sister, who was his best treasure. And you all know the rest… New information: she had really rebellious hair, and boy did Juan love to comb it!

Tomorrow: Sofia is living the happiest time of her life, but everyone is in for a big surprise when there’s a family reunion.

Labels: Fuego