Caray, Caray!

So, the setup for tonight is that Flor-n-Al, Mili-n-Hugo, and Vale-n-Rocky are ALL at the same hotel in Puerto Vallarta, allegedly having romantic times. Also there are Ramses and the skeevy guy who seems to be following Valeria and Rocky around. So, obviously, something's hitting the fan tonight.

Back at Casa Belmonte, Damian practices his campaign speech. Karla, the woman who can blemish his reputation comes up with the vacuum cleaner and almost drops it on his foot. Damian tells her he's up for party president. Karla says he's not the best option of anything, unless it's biggest jackass and dirty old man. Damian retaliates by dropping his brandy glass and tells her to clean it up and not raise her voice to him again. Dude, that's harsh. Broken glass sucks to clean up. I'd be more careful if I were him--there's no telling where that glass will end up…between his sheets? On his chair at the dinner table?

Looks like Luciana has made it out of her hotel room and is down at the bar. I can't imagine why. Couldn't room service have brought up a few dozen bottles for her? The bartender is one of those helpful chatty types. He tells her to (a) forget her ungrateful family and (b) go shopping, since isn't that what makes all women happy? Ergh! Luciana looks rough, not like she's been holed up in a hotel room drinking non-stop, but like she's got a nasty flu.

Spy Guy watches Alejandro and Flor set up their lounge chairs by the pool. Alejandro can't stop thinking about his mommy, but Flor tells him mommy's in the hospital getting better. She offers to put some sunscreen on him. SpyGuy then watches Rocky and Valeria go over to the pool. Baby Rocky has his floaties on and a blue rhino inner tube thingy. Mommy Valeria won't let him go in the water without sunscreen. Ramses is having himself oiled by the girl who tried to come on to Hugo. She complains about it and we find out she's his sister…is this the infamous Nefertiti? Poor girl. SpyGuy continues his spying.

Constancio tries to talk Peralta out of making Damian party president. He says he's got an interview set up the following day to clear up the scandal. Peralta says if they spin it right, maybe he can get the party to reconsider Constancio as president. He tells him he's got to manage the interview well. Constancio's phone rings and Guevara, aka SpyGuy reports that Alejandro and Florencia are "there". Constancio's confused. Guevera says all the kids are there. Constancio is pissed that Valeria is there with Rocky. Guevara then breaks it to him that they are (a) in the same room and (b) the bed is king size. Constancio says he's going out there tomorrow, interview be damned.

Villalobos tells Mateo that soon the cops will go to Casa Belmonte and Constancio will be more sunk than the Titanic, especially after that scandal the other day. Villalobos tells Mat to get over his little friend Fernie, he had it coming. Marisela comes in to tell them that she just talked to Flor. She worries about their relationship. Villalobos tells her it'll be fine, they're there alone, right. Oh, Wolfman, if only you knew. He tells her that the cops are closing in on the guy who killed her dad.

Rocky is finally all sunscreened and Valeria gives him permission to go into the pool. Loud shorts and all. He does a brilliant acting job of bad swimming…oh, the flippers, I hadn't noticed the flippers! Ramses walks by and sees Valeria…and commercial.

Rocky is splashing water all over Ramses' sister. She gripes at him and he offers to go away, but then she starts flirting with him.

Mili and Hugo walk by the beach. Hugo blah, blah, blah's about their relationship and how it's going to get better. He's essentially trying to talk her into having sex to save the relationship. He says it would rock to conceive a kid there. Florencia calls him and asks how it's going, have they done it yet? They talk to each other about how great it is and how their respective spouses haven't said anything about each other. Mili attacks Hugo, so he hangs up on Florencia and then buys Mili an ice cream.

Ramses is hitting on Valeria as she looks incredibly uncomfortable. She finally tells him she's not there alone, she's with her boyfriend and she's really happy with him. Ramses is upset about her being there with "the chauffeur." Valeria corrects him, she's there with the love of her life.

Rocky finds out that her name really is Nefertiti. And no, she's not Greek or Polish, she's Mexican, but her parents were into Egypt. She's thoroughly enchanted with Rocky. Ramses comes over to criticize her taste in men and tell her that Rocky is his ex-girlfriend's chauffeur and boyfriend. Nefertiti is disappointed.

Rocky comes out of the pool and Valeria tells him Ramses is there. Rocky threatens to drown him in the ocean if he comes near them. With all those floaties, I'm thinking not.

Alejandro comes back from swimming in the ocean and collects Florencia. They make plans to go get some food after they clean up.

Karla tells Lina she's not going to let Damian get away with what he's doing. Lina tries to be nice to her, but Karla's back to her own self. Lina's feelings are hurt. She figures out, though, that Karla's jealous of her relationship with Socorro. She tries to tell Karla how much Socorro loves her. Gloria comes in and snarks that Karla's change of attitude didn't last long. Karla walks out. Gloria tells Lina that Bobby's waiting in the garden for her. Lina takes a few moments, then runs out to find him.

Andrea is cleaning out Luciana's closet and orders Braulio to burn Luciana's stuff. Braulio's heart breaks. Andrea announces it's her house and she's redecorating.

Luciana goes grocery shopping. She makes sure to get all the major food groups--whiskey, rum, tequila, and vodka. But no mixers--you wouldn't want to dilute the potency of the natural flavor compounds.

Karla fixes herself a sandwich. Horacio wonders why she doesn't behave herself already. Karla can't take it anymore and tells him that she won't be compared with Lina…"your daughter, who everyone thinks is such a saint, has more prizes in her than a piñata." Er, ok I guess if we're talking in terms of individual cells rather than just one baby, right?

Florencia lays out clothes for Alejandro and then goes in to take a shower. Alejandro goes out on the balcony in his towel and thinks about Mili. He wonders why she's not there with him. Hee hee. Mili goes out on her balcony and thinks she would have liked it better if Alejandro were there with her. Commercials.

Before they see each other, Mili goes back inside. Hugo is waiting for her by a little pool with some fruit and champagne. She says she was just looking at the sea. Hugo offers to move there if she likes it so much. He tries to be romantic, but Mili says she's hungry. And no, she doesn't want room service. Mili horrifies even me by telling Hugo to "behave" himself when he tries to kiss her again. This is driving me nuts. I don't think she owes him sex, but how naïve is she that she thought he could hold out for even a few months waiting for her to be "ready." That's one of those stupid clichés that goes right up there with "I'll learn to love you." Anyway, he tells her he's just kissing her, not undressing her, and is she going to reject his kisses too? He tells her to forget Alejandro and let's go to dinner.

Horacio and Karla argue about Lina being pregnant. She's being pretty nasty to him, calling him stupid, filthy, etc. Horacio tells her she can say what she wants about him, but leave his daughter out of it. Karla goes on this long rant about how Horacio's so stupid he'll just think that Lina's belly is growing because she's putting on weight and that the baby is just a doll. Then she twists the knife a little more, telling him that everyone knows but him, even Braulio, and he's an idiot for not realizing it. Horacio tells Karla that she doesn't need anyone to ruin her life, her nastiness and bitterness will do it for her. Braulio hears the argument and comes in to tell them to shut it. Horacio asks where Lina is and Braulio says she's out in the garden with Bobby. Horacio takes off and Braulio asks Karla to help him with what Andrea asked him to do.

Bobby tries to talk Lina into telling him what's up and why she's rejecting him now. She tells him she just doesn't want a boyfriend right now. Bobby's hurt that she doesn't trust him. He says he's tired of being an idiot, falling in love, and then getting rejected. He tells her he doesn't deserve that. He says he likes her and knows how to see her for what she's worth, he realizes she has everything he's always looked for in a woman. He says he forgot that in order to be a couple, she would have to feel the same way about him. Lina hugs and kisses him and right then Horacio comes up and says "hands off my daughter! You already got her pregnant, what more do you want?" Oops.

Rocky and Valeria have dinner outside. Valeria's having a great time being there alone with him. She remembers that "date" they had where he was both Rocky and Morgan. Ramses and Nefertiti send over a bottle of champagne, and then impose themselves on Rocky and Valeria. Ramses picks on Rocky and Nefertiti hits on him. Valeria's a little pissed off that Rocky and Nefertiti already met at the pool. Ramses starts pouring the champagne. Rocky makes a comment about Ramses getting spots on his face and he has to check. Once he confirms he's ok, he toasts to their lucky encounter. Valeria's claws come out as she tells Nefertiti that maybe her BOYFRIEND is a flirt, but he's a complete dear to her. Ramses talks about the wonderful spa they have at the hotel, so Valeria says that of course, she and her BOYFRIEND have already made appointments for relaxing massages and mud and honey treatments. She makes kissy faces at Rocky. She says she and her BOYFRIEND do everything together. Nefertiti thinks maybe they can skip the "honey" part of the treatment. I think all the loveyness is making her sick. Valeria says they've got places to go, so bye now. Rocky follows her lead and they leave. Ramses and Nefertiti toast. I notice she calls him "Ram." I wonder what his pet name for her is…"Nef?"

Horacio gripes out Lina for being pregnant. Dude, it's already done, quit making her feel bad. Bobby asks if this is why she was trying to get rid of him. She admits it's true and she's pregnant. Horacio still thinks it's Bobby's though and Lina has to get between them and say it's not Bobby's. Now Horacio really lets her have it and says he'd expect this from Karla, but not her. Somewhere, on a shelf in the kitchen, his "#1 Dad" mug is falling off and breaking on the floor. Bobby tells Lina not to try and defend him and tells Horacio he really is the baby daddy. I know, right! Go Bobby!

Constancio thanks someone on the phone. The doctor at the clinic has lied to Constancio and told him that Luciana is doing great. Constancio says there's no way he's going out there to see her, though. Damian is relieved. He says he'll go out there and check up on her. Constancio is surprised that Damian gives a crap. Damian says he's got to keep Luciana from causing scandals for him. Constancio tells him not to get too comfy thinking he'll be the next party president, because Constancio's interview might put him back in the running. Dude, if you wanted even a prayer of that happening, you shouldn't have told Damian. Idiot.

Hugo blah, blah, blahs about what a lucky guy he is to be with her, he wants into her…uh, heart…but we all know he means "pants." Mili is grimacing in pain as he goes on and on. She finally says she can't take it anymore and she's got to pee. Dude, what adult person waits so long it gets painful, unless there's no access to facilities? Maybe she's got a UTI, I don't know. That'll certainly serve as an excuse not to have sex with Hugo. It'll be a refreshing change from "not tonight, dear, I'm not ready." On her mad dash to the bathroom, she runs behind Alejandro's table as he studies the menu. Hugo grins. Because Mili's just so darn charming.

She runs into the bathroom stall and quite loudly exclaims about how great it feels. Florencia convinces herself she's just imagining things as she comes out of her stall and then washes her hands. She takes her time, checking out her outfit. Mili emerges just as she leaves. Mili recognizes Florencia's perfume and says: "Huh, it smells like Florinda…or maybe she smells like a bathroom?" Ha! Commercials.

Horacio, Lina, and Bobby go inside to the servants' dining room. Horacio tells Bobby he'd better not be making a fool of his daughter. Bobby says he adores Lina and he won't lose her, least of all now when they're expecting a baby. Horacio says they'd better be getting married and Bobby says he'd like nothing more. Horacio mentions his long pointy gardening shears and Bobby says he won't need to use them, he always wants to be with Lina. Horacio finally calms down and hugs his "son-in-law." Poor Lina is in shock. She asks for a minute alone with Bobby, which, hey, she's already knocked up, so what more can happen. Horacio says he'll be right nearby in case she needs something since he's always going to take care of her. Oh, whatever, dude. (A) This does not erase all the nasty things he said about her a few minutes ago and (B) I love that Bobby stepped up like this, but I think Lina needs to have a say in the matter instead of having these two men decide the rest of her future for her. Horacio leaves. Lina asks why he did it. Well, duh! Bobby says he said all those things because they're true, he loves her and he wants to share everything with her and her kid will be his…if she wants. Thank you. He asks her if she wants him to be her baby daddy. And marry her. Lina gives him a big teary hug and a kiss. I guess that means yes, right?

Florencia, with her presumably virgin piña colada, blah, blah, blahs about how it's so great to be there and how she wants Al to be more romantic and affectionate, etc. And how for the rest of this trip she'd like him not to think about Milagros. Lady, you're the one who brought her up. Alejandro says she thinks about Mili more than he does. He promises not to think about her as long as Florencia doesn't bring her up.

Hugo extracts the same promise from Mili. She says she didn't even think about him until Hugo brought him up. Hugo says he wants them to have "an unforgettable trip" which really means "sex." Mili says the trip is already unforgettable for her, isn't it for him? Heh. He says it is and asks for the check.

Back in the DF Andrea has Braulio set the bundle of Luciana's stuff on the steps--not the ones directly in front of the house, but the ones on the other side of the fountain. Karla douses it with gasoline when Braulio can't bring himself to do it. They all retreat higher up on the steps and Andrea throws a lit match. She and Karla enjoy the burning, but poor Braulio may never recover.

And finally, the inevitable happens, Mili walks along the beach in the morning and runs into Alejandro. He is as delighted as a kid at Christmas.

Monday: Constancio's interview doesn't go as he hoped--he gets arrested on live TV for the murder of Domingo Echavarria.

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