Caray, Caray!

Well, looks like our follow-up novela is official. Last night I saw promos for "Cuidado con el Angel," coming "muy pronto." So no Tontas for us. If you did not fast forward through these commercials, you saw a couple of really strange conversations between a priest and a woman and someone floating with giant angel wings. Reminded me of that awful movie (that I never saw) with John Travolta wearing giant angel wings. This is supposed to be better than Tontas? We shall see. Pasion fans will be pleased to know it stars William Levy, Vasco from Pasion.

Back to Guapos, which is proceeding apace to the finish line. We start with the scene of Al and Hugo following Mili and Gloria to Mother Superior's funeral. Everyone is wearing black, but our boys are not exactly paying the proper respects. No, they are letting their testosterone get the best of them and exchanging insults and starting to butt heads physically. Tiny Padre Manuel once again has to intervene, which is always funny.

Cut to Starbucks, where Braulio (sans gloves!) is catching up with his long-lost sister. We know she was a widow of a rich Italian guy, and she was not happy. She did not have any kids--she couldn't, not after her terrible loss. She came home to confront her past. She never thought she'd find that Connie was enslaving their daughter as a servant. Braulio tries to fill her in on the facts, as that is not totally accurate. He says that Regina never stopped looking for both of them. Rosario says Regina was always so good to her. Brau says she always loved Rosario and was tormented.

Mili and Gloria have left the boys fighting and have made it into the kitchen, where fake Sor Cachete is ruining a batch of tamales. I love these scenes with Macarena's attempts to fake being a nun, and no one quite catches on but they think she's acting funny.

Mili says that her mother and grandmother now have company in heaven, now that Mother Superior has joined them. They're "comadres." (This seems to be the feminine of compadres--never heard it before.) Fake Sor says that if they were such good friends they'd help make these goldarned tamales, but she is reminded that all of them are dead! Mili now asks what's wrong with SC--she never asked for help before. Gloria points out that SC is rushing and making a mess. Fake Sor suggests saying a rosary to pray for a tamalista to take over. The girls wonder why SC isn't crying over the loss of Mother S. She had enough at that blasted wake. I'm not sure if I've got the next part right, but I think "Sor" says that she's going away--she asked MS right before she died. Where? She can't tell, it was under seal of confession. The Vatican won't let her tell. The girls point out that she's not a priest, but she says she's a nun. They laugh that she doesn't know how to keep secrets anyway.

"Sor" now hands over the tamale making to the girls and walks away. Lina comes in wants to try some. I love Lina's exaggerated singsong delivery--MMMMM---Tamaaahhles! Uh-oh. "Guacala, they taste like a baby's diaper." They have no filling, just masa.

Cut to the "lair," where Mono, real Sor, and that friend are saying a rosary for Mother S. Isn't it interesting that Sor Cachete has long blong hair and french braids under her wimple?

Luci calls Socorro in to discuss Karla's pregnancy. After many fits and starts, Karla spits out the truth. Luci rubs Socorro's shoulder soothingly. Luci is just so nice now, golly gee!

Braulio is still filling in the details about Mili. Fortunately, Mili managed to tell Regina just before she died about being her granddaughter, so Regina died happy. It must have been a blow to Connie that his mother adopted his daughter and gave her everything. Rosario is still outraged that Connie is putting his career before recognizing his daughter. She then decides purely as a gratuitous plot device that she is worried about what Mili will think when she learns she is still alive. She will not reveal herself right away to Mili, and much less Connie. She is Rosella Di LLano. There is a stupid joke about Braulio being unable to prounounce her last name, and it's repeated later. Dumb.

Another scene of Hugo and Al fighting.

Cut to the rosary. Macarena barges into the lair, and Sor C yells at her for unterrupting the sacred rosary. God will punish you. Nah, he already has, with that trip to the jungle. Mono covers her lips so they can continue the prayer.

So we can have more mistaken identity fun, Rosela decides she nonetheless has to get a glimpse of her daughter. Brau promises to bring Mili to a nearby park, where Rosela will stalk. He says it's uncanny how alike they look, like two drops of water.

Luci now confronts Damian in the house. He wants a hug, but she says nothing doing--you threw me under the bus and took all my money. He then offers her a drink! I'm sorry, but he's worse than Connie. Luci demands that Hugo give Mili a divorce, and that's not all. You're going to be a grandpa--by Karla.

Back at the church, PM is still trying to get the boys to stop fighting, and the girls come out. He says behave like gentlmen, and develop a thick skin (cuero duro) for these insults. Speaking of thick skins, says Lina--here come Socorro and Karla. Socorro is all broken up and addresses Mili first--she say she is so sorry to have to report that Mili's husband . . . Hugo tries to get her to stop, but she forges on. He's been with Karla, and Karla is pregnant. Mili is impactada.

Lina intones--that it must be catching, like a cold. Everyone gets it sometime. Karla says no, you got pregnant so you can play with dolls.
Mili asks Hugo if it's true, and Karla pipes in with the fastest speech I have ever heard: I had to pause several times to read the captions:
Whaddya think, stupid? (tarada). That he could stand being with a girl like you who won't stop being a prude? (mojigata). Socorro tells her to stop, she has no shame.

Al tells Hugo that he's a piece of work--he was with Karla but he won't give Mili a divorce? Hugo says it doesn't mean it's his kid--Karla's a ho. Padre Manuel tries to intervene, but Hugo says that the real problem is "this imbecile," pointing to Al. They're back to full on wrestling, and Padre Manuel jumps on top while the girls scream.

Luci is still going over the pregnancy situation with her beloved brother. Damian tries to excuse his behavior as being Connie's fault. Luci insists that Hugo divorce Mili. Damian wants to know what her interest in that "mugrosa" is. Luci says that when Regina was alive, she wanted Luci to get to know Mili. Regina gave her a second chance. Damian thinks she's up to something (tramando). He tries to give her a drink, but she puts it on the table and bravely resists drinking it.

Back to the church, where PM has the boys doing penalty pushups. Karla has her foot on Al's back to add resistance, and Mili has her foot on Hugo. Socorro laments: why is my daughter like this? Lina, like Don Rickles, says: Karla is like a red light: after 12 midnight, no one respects it! Hissss. While standing over the boys, Karla taunts Mili for being jealous, but Mili says it's the lack of honesty she can't stand. They learn that three months have gone by since they've been doing it. (this time span may be important, students.) The girls start fighting, and Padre M makes them do pushups too. Karla wants to be excused because she's pregnant, but he says it will be good for the baby. (He throws a shmatte over Karla's behind for modesty.) Lina throws in another insult: Karla is like a tabla de uno--muy facilisimo. I can't figure out what this means but it sounds like part of it is Karla is very easy.

Val, Luci and the nameless baby have a snugglefest, then Val goes off to prepare for a night out. Andrea comes in and sneers at "old granny." Andrea agrees that they can't live under the same roof. Luci wants to stay because of her kids. Andrea says it's her home now. The baby cries, and Luci begins a bedtime story: "Once upon a time, there was a witch named Andrea . . ."

Macarena has now had it--she has no religious vocation. She was in the jungle for three months and was covered in mosquito bites. She takes off her wimple and complains to Mono. She is jealous of how close he has become to her sister, but he says it's only because it's so amazing how her sister looks just like her and her presence gives him peace. Macarena says he should stay with Cachete, then. No, my skinny one, I need you. Well, she still wants the money. She's tired of dressing as a nun--she's losing her "sex appeal." (said in English)

Padre Manuel now has the four miscreants in his office. Hugo doesn't want Padre Manuel telling him what to do. He suggests abortion, and Padre M is horrified. Mili tries to soothe Karla, but Karla pushes her away.

Rosella is waiting in the park. Brau comes and explains that Mili was detained at the church. They will try meeting tomorrow at the mansion.

Now it's Connie's turn to taunt Luci with a drink, but she wisely refuses. He says she looks different, prettier. He likes the change. She says that he has to change. And for her to succeed in remainining sober, she won't let him take her down ever again. Connie drinks her drink and his.

Cut to the news: Obama has been nominated by acclamation. Back to the show.

Morgan models his new outfit for Val, but he's worried about his credit card bills. He should worry! Hasn't he been reading the papers? I hope the Stooges' business picks up before we have a PSA on bankruptcy. They trade jibes about the bachelor and bachelorette parties they're going to (for Bobby and Lina). Each promises not to do anything naughty. Ramses looks on pointlessly.

Braulio brings brunch for Ramses and tries to flirt with him. Ramses says Braulio seems happy. Brau says it's because he had a re-encounter with someone from the past. Clueless Ramses asks if it's a girlfriend? Brau says no, it's family. He bats his eyelashes shamelessly some more and says he's single and available. Slap! Ramses asks Brau to help him get Val back, and poor Brau makes a face.

Back in the bat-painting studio, Hugo is again slopping paint on canvas. Damian allows as it's funny they both had the same girl. They both claim to have used protection with Karla. Damien says he was with Karla about a month ago. Hugo says it could be Damian's baby--or a third party. (My theory: It's possible that Karla is more than one month pregnant, so then we will know it's Hugo's.) They decide to take care of Karla in some ominous way. We know this because the piano music of doom plays.

Mili and Al rehash the events for Luci. She then makes him promise to behave at the bachelor party. Luci is glad to watch nameless for the evening. She asks why Mili doesn't call her "suegrita" yet. Mili says soon. Aw . . .

Socorro and Karla are arguing in the kitchen, and Damian comes in and orders Karla out forever. He really doesn't have the power to do this, and I don't know why Socorro doesn't consult Mili and Luci. Plot device! Socorro says she can't help Karla anymore. Soco will beg Padre M to let Karla stay at the convent till she finds work. Socorro cries bitterly.

Mili is putting on makeup while Luci watches indulgently. Mili tells her all about how she and Gloria used to get away with pranks at the convent. When Madre S gave them punishments, they wouldn't finish them.
Luci now tells Mili that for her own peace, she can't live in the mansion with Connie, Damian and Andrea--they are enemies of her sobriety. She wants to go back to the little house, and she wants Mili to come too.

Padre M sees fake Sor Cachete. She begins complaining to him again, and he says he is beginning to worry about her. Just then, the gang arrives to take both of them to the respective bachelor and bachelorette parties. Padre M is scandalized.

Real Sor begs Mono to let her out of her imprisonment. She can't believe no one has caught on to her sister yet. She says she'll show him the money urn if he gives the money to the poor.

Luci tells Mili that Mili must get out of the house too--for her own good. Mili says she signed all her money away. Luci says it's okay--they have Abuelita--they won't go alone.

Tomorrow, Mili and Al tell Hugo they're going to live together. The gals get into some hijinks at the bachelor party.

Labels: guapos