Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Fuego, Monday 9/8 (#94): Wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth
But that night, he rides into the darkness calling Sofía's name. He throws himself into the swimmin' hole, fully clothed. I think he's trying to drown himself, but maybe not, as he rises to the surface and shouts "No more pain! No more tears! I'm a dried-up tree!" (I know this is an odd thing to say, but if you Google "árbol seco" you get tons of hits - I think there's some cultural significance.)
The full moon shines through a tree that isn't completely dried up, but has probably seen better days.
Sofi meets Tadeo at the church to donate all of her clothing to the health clinic. (Interesting, because she left most of her clothes behind when she left the hacienda too - and Gabi planned to burn them.) She doesn't want the clothes to remind her of the time she spent at the Reyes' house. Tadeo warns her not to make this decision all by herself. She and Juan have a sacred bond. "Love is of two." Sofi says "betrayal is of one," and if it had really been love between two, it wouldn't have been destroyed with deception and lies.
She hands him bundles of clothes, old and new, and recognizes the wedding dress Juan bought for her. (Tadeo watches hopefully as she flashes back to when Juan gave her the dress; Juan turned away so that he wouldn't doom them with bad luck by seeing her hold it up to herself.) Sofía gets weepy but doesn't change her mind. "How wrong I was. The lie destroyed the strongest love." She hands him the dress.
Meanwhile, Oscar looks at his mother's ring that he gave to Jimena and remembers giving it to her in their heart-shaped outdoor honeymoon suite. Meanwhile, while playing the guitar and singing a sad song, Franco remembers some of his various early run-ins with Sarita, none of which seem very promising in my opinion.
The sisters tell their grandfather what happened. "all that time, they were just lying to us! And to think that you protected and defended them!" He apologizes to them, but says they fooled him too, and he's a fool, and he's lost the most important battle of his life, which was to protect the girls instead. That's what hurts the most. They gather around him and commiserate over having been deceived by vengeance.
Juan gets home, still wet, and scolds his brothers for their long faces. They need to move on and get back what's theirs - the hacienda, their land, their origins. Oscar asks why. Without their women, why bother? Franco agrees. He doesn't feel like fighting. Juan says they need to start over again. He makes them do the "Reyes are united" thing.
Eva goes to the bakery. Quintina stops her and says it's best if she doesn't go in - the girls have left, but first they and the boys exchanged a lot of terrible words and it's going to take a long time for them to forget.
Still at Grandpa's, Sofi tells her sisters that if there's one way that they're similar to the Reyes, it's that they're always united. "From now on, we'll be more united than ever!" Grandpa applauds.
Gabriela shows up. "Such a moving scene." Grandpa tells her not to spew any venom, "because this time I'm up for anything!" (Yeah, like what?) Gabi whines that he's always up for defending them against her, but not from "the strangers." She blames him for what happened. "Only you!"
Sofi defends him. "If you came here to enjoy our pain, go ahead, Ma, do it!" They're suffering and they won't hide it.
Gabi puts on her earnest face and says no, no, in no way does is she pleased about their pain. They've always accused her of not loving them, of being a bad mom, but all she cares about is protecting them. "A mother never makes a mistake, but you've never given me a break. They've been laughing at you. Now you can understand my pain when I found out that your father had cheated on me, but there's no grudge in my heart. So you can move back in whenever you want. It's still your house, and I'm your mother."
Sofi asks what will happen if they move back in? Will she make them bow their heads in subordination? Gabi sadly declares that Sofi's still defiant even after suffering the worst humiliations a woman can. Sofi says Gabi knows more than anyone that she's lost everything, not just her dignity. Gabi says she'll respect their decisions, when they respect her opinions as their mother, they'll all go back to normal if they each do their part.
Grandpa expresses doubt. She scolds him because he's always nagging her to be nice, and now that she's finally doing it, he's doubting her. "Is there no way to please you, Father?"
Sarita steps forward and says she believes Gabi and totally agrees with everything. They hug and make up. "I expected no less from you," Gabi says proudly.
"I'll come back too. I hope you can follow through on what you just promised," Jimena says.
"What do you say, Sofía? What's your decision?" Sofi says she appreciates the offer, but she isn't sure why she should go back to the house - "you continually make me feel as if I'm not your daughter."
Eva is at Rosario's, saying she deserves all of Grandpa's hate, and she's afraid to face the sisters. She thinks she should find them and ask for forgiveness, but she feels too badly. Rosario tries to comfort her and offers to go with her if she wants to talk to them, but asks her to be strong and not let them win. "That's what you've taught me." Eva wants to go alone, so that her problem with them doesn't interfere with Rosario's relationship with them.
The cantina crowd is cheering in anticipation, so Rosario goes to her public. Eva prays and practices asking the sisters' forgiveness. Rosario sings a sad song about things going wrong, and breaking a mirror and getting bad luck. "Then, and only then, you'll cry." Eva watches proudly in the audience.
Sofi follows her mother into her study, demanding to know whether she's her daughter or not. "Of course you're my daughter! What happened is that... look, we'll save this conversation for another time. I told you you're my daughter and that I welcome you with open arms. Isn't that good enough?"
Sofi says fine, but we're going to have that conversation, preferably real soon. Gabi impatiently agrees and asks how such a dainty girl as Sofi could have fallen in lough with that coarse brute? Sofi sits down and says she'll speak woman-to-woman. Juan awakened in her feelings that she had thought were dead. She goes on to describe all the feelings that Feo has awakened in Gabi - albeit in twisted form - helping her conquer her fears. Gabi looks thoroughly nauseated and says "I never thought that one day I'd hear one of my daughters speak like a... a slut." Sofi is not fazed and says that if a slut is someone who dares to love, then indeed that could be her. She lectures her mother some more about the glory of love. "Too bad you'll never get to know this."
Gabi seems overwhelmed by... it's hard to say what, but she's not happy. Sofi excuses herself.
Sofi has changed her clothes (I don't know where this dress came from) and restores her bell collection. Then she sits on her bed and remembers some happy times she had there when Juan snuck up to see her. "Why, Juan? Why?"
Grandpa chastises Juan for abusing his goodwill and taking advantage of him after he stuck up for them. "And all that for what? So you could repay me with betrayal." (Like the time Oscar scoured the countryside trying to spring him out of the old folks' home and later saved him from a snake? Or the time Juan saved him from falling down the stairs in his wheelchair? The time all three of them hoisted him, wheelchair and all, down from his balcony so that he could harrass Gabi? Yeah, what a bunch of jerks!!) And of course Juan disappointed him the most. "I thought you were gallant, but now I see you're a coward." He tries to get Juan to answer. "Even the worst delinquents find some words to defend themselves." Juan says he doesn't want to defend himself. Grandpa's right; they were wrong and now they must pay for their mistake.
Grandpa asks why. Juan says it was for the pain of losing their sister. Oscar adds that it's also for Bernardo tricking them. Grandpa insists that Bern really loved Libia. Oscar says Bern never told them he was married and had a family. Juan says Bern tricked their sister, and that's why they tricked Grandpa's granddaughters. "Bernardo deserves to be pardoned, but not us?" Grandpa has no answer. He pats Juan's arm. Juan pulls away.
Now Sofi is visiting her father. She's mad at him. "If you'd been honest with Libia from the start, none of this would have happened! Now we're paying for your guilt, Dad!" Then she begs his forgiveness for speaking to him that way and prays for him to help her.
Next Grandpa proceeds, in front of Pablito, to scold and fire Quintina for her loyalty to the Reyes. He fires her. She begs him not to and says it's hard for a squire to serve two masters. She doesn't even mention that time when they were in that crash and Grandpa was unconscious. She ran back to the Reyes', presumably on foot, to summon help.
He doesn't even want to see her again. "What am I going to do without you?" she asks tearfully. "I'll die of sadness."
Pablito salutes and asks if he's demoted too, if he can't be his general any more. "Kids have nothing to do with the problems adults. You can visit as often as you want."
Quintina begs a little more, but is rebuffed. "Bye, Quintina. Goodbye forever."
Jimena remembers getting the ring in the heart-shaped ring of candles and rose petals, and then she remembers giving it back.
Oscar washes dishes at the bakery. (The neck brace and sling are for real, by the way; Jorge Salinas fell off his horse.) He flashes back to Jimena giving back the ring too, and saying "save it for your next revenge."
Juan looks at the Robles-Reyes baptismal gown that Sofi left behind. He throws it into the Magical Mystery Trunk and slams it shut. Oscar says Juan's not eating or sleeping, just drinking coffee. He'll get sick. He tells Juan to pull himself together. Juan says he's nobody without Sofía. He has no reason to smile or to cry. He's a dried-up tree, he's got a dried-up soul and a dried-up heart. He has no hope of Sofía forgiving them. He's got nothing to lose. He has no tears (he says, wiping his eyes). He'll never cry. Never! Oscar pats his shoulder.
Sofi talks to her still-flat belly and promises that she'll be both mother and father to him. Feo comes in and humbly offers his help and support. He wants to show that he's not the bad person she thinks he is. Since they're still married, he's willing to register their child in his name. He'll promise to care for him as if his own. Sofi nixes this and asks, "how can you imagine yourself as father? You treat your true child Luisito so badly. I don't need you."
He promises to be a better dad from now on. "I hope so," Sofi answers, "for the good of your child. Good night!" He humbly and politely leaves.
"You don't need a father, my dear," she tells her belly. "You've already got one... though perhaps you'll never know him." She sighs.
Next day, Quintina is distracted and knocks over a sheet of rolls. Juan angrily chews her out. "I'm not annoyed, dang it!" he screams. "Just pay attention. That's all I ask!" Oscar and Franco pat her shoulder as she slinks out, hurt. Oscar and Franco ask him to calm down and remind him that they're going through the same thing he is, but it's unfair to take it out on others. Juan seems determined to jealously guard his pain. Then he has a mood swing and says they've got to put all their energy into getting their stuff back. They've already avenged Libia. Now it's time to avenge their parents.
They start by going to the lawyer and asking him to hurry up and resolve their claim. The lawyer explains that these things take a long time, they need to be patient, plus they haven't even brought him all the required documents yet. Oscar says they've been looking. Franco says they need an answer. The lawyer says they can have their answer after they complete all the legal proceedings. If any documents are missing, justice will be delayed, he won't be able to continue, and regrettably they'll lose their land.
Meanwhile, Raquel gripes to Benito that Ricardo's "famous friend" still hasn't shown up. Not even any news of him. Benito weakly suggests that she be patient. Panicked, she reminds him that the Reyes could win the judgment and throw them out of the house. Benito says they need to find the documents that prove the hacienda belongs to them. Raq says she's looked everywhere. They've got nothing to show that Ricardo acquired these lands legally.
Sarita's all recovered from her heartbreak, angrily saying she's not going to cry over those bricklayers because that'd be just like giving them the pleasure of vengeance all over again. Jimena is not quite ready for this stage of mourning yet. She tells Sarita to look her in the eye and say she's not suffering for having lost Franco. She reminds Sarita that he could go back to Rosario.
Rosario runs into Franco. She tries to express sympathy over what happened. He apologizes for all the hurt he caused her. She apologizes to him for his two brushes with death, which she feels were her fault. (Why blame Feo?) He says maybe those were to show her how much he loved her. He says he's still married to Sarita and will respect that even though they're separated now. Still, he'd like to know why she dumped him.
"I never stopped loving you. I stayed away from you because I'm not the right woman for you. So I decided to sacrifice my love for you so that you could be happy with Sarita. But I never stopped loving you, never." She totters off in those crazy shoes.
Juan shows up at Father Tadeo's office. "Why'd you send for me? Supposedly it's urgent?" Sofi is two steps behind him. "Good afternoon, Padre..." She and Juan stare at each other. "Why'd you send for me?" she asks, but she already knows the answer...
"To save your love, my children! To save your love!"
Nice try, Padre.
Mexico airdate: 29 de Mayo
Word of the day: Trámites - Steps, formalities, procedures, proceedings
Next time:
Feo acts like a jerk, giving the sisters a new, improved version of his last conversation with Bernardo. Granpa questions some of the details.
Labels: Fuego
It may distract from EY's acting ability that they play the Destilando commerical for the video during the show. Like Scream (insert name here). Different story same scream.
Anyway the Sofie "When a Juan loves a woman" lecture to Mom creeped me out and aaaahhhh I think it would be prudent to say Ma's reaction was nothing short of climatic. Now I am closing the door and locking that memory in the "DO NOT OPEN" closet in my brain.
I think Crabi handled the return of the disgraced wives and one disgraced spinster virgin wife, just right. I'm sure her hand was itching, but she held back.
Lucky that Sofia had one smart brain cell working and refused his offer.
I was wondering why Oscar was still sporting his neckbrace & sling. Everyone else in Mexidoon heals in minutes.
Fuego Maggie
This was definitely a channel flipping episode. I got my hopes up for a minute when Juan rode to the magic lagoon but then he jumped in with his clothes on...what a disappointment.
I think Gramps is being a little hard on everybody. What does he expect? Those girls are big enough to take care of themselves (oh maybe not because they went right back to Slapzilla.) I was waiting for the slap but it never came. I found Snofia's speech a little sickening too. Blech...
From lower Ala
"This is one lazy a$$ production. Just think, faithful recappers: you actually put more effort into writing than the staff of this melodramatic rewind does-- BRAVO to the recappers!"....Fuego Maggie
--- I totally agree. Monkey writers! Send them some bananas; their blood sugar is dropping.
And just to get all literary on y'all here for a moment.... given Juan's dip in the pool and feeling cleansed of his revenge afterward, I'm seeing a religious parallel to baptism and cleansing of the soul from Original Sin.
At this rate, I'll bet Sofi has the baby in time for Christmas. Symbolism, anyone?
doris
I was totally not into it last night. I've had to bully my own way through a recap before, but last night was a new record in pain and suffering.
Most of all, I was just struck by everyone's selfishness, especially Grandpa's (last night). Yes, he did do a lot for those muchachos; but they did a lot for him too. A LOT.
The girls' dumbness is sort of an old story and we are used to it, but Grandpa being a jerk - that was a shock to me.
doncha just love Sofie in her role of singe mom, I will be both Mother and Father to you Hijo. Step back Baby Mama, it's not like Baby Daddy kicked you to the curb.
So I guess to punish Juan the Impaler a bit more, now he will not get to see Baby.
Don't you just love everyone taking up for Ber. "He loved Libia". Like WTF, how do these people know? Sofie yelling at dead Dad then apoligizing, I never see her apoligize to Juan.
Sofie & Sarita the stern are now on my dead to me list. Ximena, I am wavering on, I think a new pair of shoes and she'll go right back.
Now....can women be "arboles secos" or only men? I assumed it meant he was a dried-up withered husk after that awful (and pointless) rejection...like Beckster opined....but who knows? Any native speakers out there who can weigh in?
What on earth was she doing with a 70? year old man. WTF, was she stupid or what. Oh yeah, that's right she was.
Connie, Juan could have at least taken off his clothes before the swim...it would have totally helped with this depressing episode. Or he could have asked the brothers to join.
Where is Pedro? Where is Jefe?
I happened to catch him on some late-night talk show Saturday night. He said his stint on FELS would be 15 episodes (I'm sure this talk show was taped ages ago). Friday night would have been 15 on the nose.
Farewell, Pedro! Please bring your fuzzy butt back soon :...(
BTW, I saw Franco on a news clip & didn't recognize him...he was clean shaven & looked MUCH better than he does with the stubble.
Fuego Maggie
:-0
Esmas website and some of the Mexican talk shows said that in real life, while filming, one of the horses got too frisky while "Jimena" was riding and tried to throw her -- and "Oscar" jumped in and saved her from being hurt -- but in the process actually hurt himself and had like a whiplash injury and hurt his arm too. They gave him lots of enthusiastic kudos for this heroic save of Elizabeth Alvarez, guess the horse was really acting up! Thus, "Oscar" is still wearing the turtle neck brace.
This is what happens when stunt doubles aren't used -- and they seem to be saying that all these people are doing their own stunts, EY has commented on it a few times in his chatty remarks to the tv paparazzi.
PanQue
I actually thought EY was pretty good in this episode. At least he's grown a spine and is not riding Capricho over to the Hacienda of Horrors to grovel at Slofia's feet.
And I wasn't bothered by Slofia's account of her exploits with Mighty Juan. In fact I kind of enjoyed it because it got to Crabi. My interpretation of Crabi's reaction is that she had to turn away to hide her rage and envy. I doubt Feo's ever accomplished half of what Slofia was telling her mother!
And, checking my memory, isn't Pedro (and also Coyote) looking for Tio Vicente to provide a legal proof that they really are the Robles-Reyes and thus the family on the title?
Novelera - that was my interpretation of the expression on Gabi's face, too.
As everyone else said...great recap, so much better than the show itself. What makes the show watchable for me is imagining what everyone is going to say about it...
It's not all bad that Sofia gave away her Little House wardrobe. Now, if she can pick up some new things...
Abuelo disappointed me, as well. Considering how much the Reyes did to help him, he's pretty ungrateful.
Crabi=rage and envy at Sofia's discourse on Juan-style lovin' seems on target to me.
La Paloma
Maybe the shirt and hanky are Juans new gangsta look since he doesn't have a grill or giant gold cup. He is a trend setter! Once he again saves a child from a burning building or some other such silliness, the whole town will be sporting the "look"!
There was this paralell thing going on with the sisters "all togehter now" and the brothers "all together now".
Las Elizondo will entrench into their hacienda while Los Reyes will regain their lands and hacienda thus also regaining their lost social stature.
Now they will be on a more equal footing and the tables will be turned in typical novela fashion. (the poor orphaned maid turns out to be the rich heiress etc.)
Then maybe a battle of the haciendas, (we're enemies, but were're all married!!) and to avoid losing everything and because of all the shady dealings in the past, the Elizondo will have to come crawling back to the Reyes!
As for Crabi and her interesting performance last night, I see a "Crabi Redemtion" story taking shape. Her weird reaction to Sofi's story was envy and despair. She wishes she could someday have true love and passion too. For now she is pretending to be a good mother and love her daughters, but will some true feelings be awakened?
"arbol seco" May be something Biblical?
Randy in Seattle
That and Pedro's Fuzzy Butt, a new nickname for him, thanks Julie.
PanQue
FELS = Pelo en la Sangre / Pelo en la Masa
Bread-making 101 with Juan & Sofi = Panography
Juan & Sofi version of Pilsbury Doughboy dough baby created during Panography 101 = Abominable Breadman
Hermanos Reyes = Crumbs, Dimples, & Fuzzy / Knights in White Satin
Juan = Mighty Joe Juan /Juan Solo / Lassie / Juan the Impaler
Hermanas Elizondo = Lamb Chop, Sneerita, & Spunky
Sofia = Little Bo Peep / Sofie Ingalls Wilder/ Snofia / Snofia White/ Slowfia
Sarita = Crabi Jr.
Primo Pedro = the Gorilla / Fuzzy2 / Fuzzy Butt
Pedro when baking = Bigfoot Bakes
Franco = Original Fuzzy
Padre Tadeo = Father Bouffy /Pad Tad / Pad Taddy
Gabriela = Crabiela/Crabi / Guanabana/Soursop /Slapzilla
Fernando = Feo/None Fer Nando/Furd
post-marriage to Crabi = Some Fer Nando
post-fooling around with Raq = Lots Fer Nando
Armando = Right Armando/Whig/Bigote/Arm
Rosario = BonBon/BomBon
Hermanos Uribe = The Tweedles/Big Tweedle/Short Tweedle
Benito = Bonito
{BRUNO is Octavio’s BF}
Raquel = Raq/ Raqui Raccoon
Dr. Mentiroso Matasanos / Dr. Quackquack
Maracuya = Marayucka /Yuck/NiurYUCKa
Don Bernardo’s Horse = Mr. Ed
Capricho = Lassie?
Donkey = Eeyore
Comisario = Mutton Chops
Hacienda San Agustin = Hacienda de Agony / Hacienda de Horrors
Battle of the Haciendas (Las Elizondo vs Los Reyes)
Ciudad Serdan = Black Hole of Intelligence
Scary Woods on Edge of Town = Rape Forest
Televisa = Telerisa
TV Azteca = TV Apesta
"PanQue"
Connie, the shower curtain hangs there, they just don't seem to know how to use it. Maybe that is why Quintina stays, she gets all that eye candy for free!
I hope we aren't wallowing in all of this sadness overly long.
No, I have no special information about his butt. It was just going to be "get your butt back there" and then I added "fuzzy" because he is so... well let's just say he's plush.
doris
========
Julie, you did a great job on a dull snoozer. I'm wondering how many times you had to wake yourself up just to finish it. Sofia's "stiff flat belly" is definitely becoming annoying. I know AN's a veritable stick, but she's got to be at least what, 4 or 5 months along by now?
As for Crabi - I personally don't believe a word of what she told those 3 dimwit daughters of hers. She's got it all planned out between her and Fer and methinks the bruja's actions have been too perverse to grab the attention of the telenovela redemption gods. speaking of perverse, I was thinking like beckster that she was having one of those nasty sorts of vicarious experiences listening to Sofia and it just made me want to scratch at the walls or something.
I have to wonder about the 3 Reyes lack of insight into their poor problem solving skills. They all agree that now that they've finally avenged Libby's death, it's time to avenge their parents death. That's scarey. How soon they seem to have forgotten the heavy price of Libby's revenge.
I have to agree with Julie that there's a little more meaning to that seco arbol and seco corazon, than meets the eye. I have a very romantic song by a favorite Latino singer called "Se me seco la piel". The melody is great, but my Latina friend nonchalantly interpreted it as "he said his skin dries up". All that drying up must be a cultural figure of speech because it sure doesn't sound too romantic to me.
Aqui me voy a estar
Hasta que retoñe este arbol
Porque no a podido dar
Una flor que a mi me agrade
La primera flor que de
Sera para mi padre
Para llevarla
A la tumba en donde esta
Murio mi padre
Ya se me acabo el tesoro
Murio mi padre
Ya se me acabo el orgullo
Muerte tirana
Te llevaste lo que era mio
Y desde entonces
El arbol se seco
Murio mi padre
Ya se me acabo el tesoro
Murio mi padre
Ya se me acabo el orgullo
Muerte tirana
Te llevaste lo que era mio
Y desde entonces
El arbol se seco
Google translationHere I am going to be
Until this tree seedlings
Why not able to give
A flower that I like
The first bloom of
Sera for my father
To carry
In the tomb where this
Murio my father
Now I just treasure
Murio my father
Now I just pride
Death Tirana
Takes you what was mine
And since then
The tree is dry
Murio my father
Now I just treasure
Murio my father
Now I just pride
Death Tirana
Takes you what was mine
And since then
The tree is dry
---As you can see it pretty much says--
I've had the blues, the greens and the pinks and all I gotta say is love stinks---
All hope is lost--
It looked like a cross between loathing and orgasmic bliss. However, for Gabi, the two aren't mutually exclusive!
Connie, I totally agree. He may not be much on brains, but I woudn't tell Franco to get his clothes back on!
And on Gabbi, I was thinking she was enjoying what Sophia was saying way to much. She is one creepy old bag!
I somehow managed to misspell "love" as "lough" in my recap. I think I need to sleep more.
FELS = Pelo en la Sangre / Pelo en la Masa
Bread-making 101 with Juan & Sofi = Panography
Juan & Sofi version of Pilsbury Doughboy dough baby created during Panography 101 = Abominable Breadman
Hermanos Reyes = Crumbs, Dimples, & Fuzzy / Knights in White Satin
Juan = Mighty Joe Juan /Juan Solo / Lassie / Juan the Impaler
Hermanas Elizondo = Lamb Chop, Sneerita, & Spunky
Sofia = Little Bo Peep / Sofie Ingalls Wilder/ Snofia / Snofia White/ Slowfia
Sarita = Crabi Jr.
Primo Pedro = the Gorilla / Fuzzy2 / Fuzzy Butt / Fuzzy II/ Franco’s Replacement
Pedro when baking = Bigfoot Bakes
Franco = Original Fuzzy
El Jefe = Unibrow / UniJefe / UniDad (to Pedro)/ Jeff (as in Hef?)
Padre Tadeo = Father Bouffy /Pad Tad / Pad Taddy
Gabriela = Crabiela/Crabi / Guanabana/Soursop /Slapzilla / MadMom
Fernando = Feo/None Fer Nando/Furd
post-marriage to Crabi = Some Fer Nando
post-fooling around with Raq = Lots Fer Nando
Armando = Right Armando/Whig/Bigote/Arm
Rosario = BonBon/BomBon
Hermanos Uribe = The Tweedles/Big Tweedle/Short Tweedle
Benito = Bonito
{BRUNO is Octavio’s BF}
Raquel = Raq/ Raqui Raccoon
Dr. Mentiroso Matasanos / Dr. Quackquack
Maracuya = Marayucka /Yuck/NiurYUCKa
Don Bernardo’s Horse = Mr. Ed
Capricho = Lassie?
Donkey = Eeyore
Comisario = Mutton Chops
Hacienda San Agustin = Hacienda de Agony / Hacienda de Horrors
Battle of the Haciendas (Las Elizondo vs Los Reyes)
Ciudad Serdan = Black Hole of Intelligence
Scary Woods on Edge of Town = Rape Forest
Televisa = Telerisa
TV Azteca = TV Apesta
"PanQue"
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