Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Fuego - Mon. 10-27 For a wanted man, he sure is pretty unwanted...

We start with Juan showing up and his brothers assaulting him. He says he doesn’t remember them. Yeah, it would be hard even with a brain, but without one, well....his bros think he’s foolin...

For some reason Rosario is begging Ofelia to take care of her little one if something happens to her. Ofi doesn’t want to talk about these things, but yes, she promises in front of the virgin. Ok, this simply can not bode well in front of the telenovela Gods...

Back at the field Juan says he knows there ‘s a Sofi and an hija, but doesn’t know what happened. Oscar’s idea of reminding him is to throw dirt in his face and show him they did all this for him, this is their land. Predictably, this doesn’t help much as it reduces our incredible hulk to tears; like a big baby, that he recalls nothing.

Gabi whines to Feo that they are done, because Juan Reyes is back and is not dead. We get it repeated in triplicate and with funky echo sounds so we the audience can be impactado right along with them.

We return from commercial to Juan at least still eating like the hulk, devouring his food and slopping it all over his face, like the good brute that he is. He confirms his bros forgive him. He recites how upset he is that he’s lost his daughter and upset Sof.

The bros promise to show him everything he’s forgotten, Juan thinks he remembers the grip of death they do three musketeers style. They go to the Disneyland Indiana Jones set that is the site of the ever lit torches and Libia’s grave, his sister. She sparkles her Lily to show them she is there with them...in the unending grave tour, they next go to visit his padres. He cries and there are man hugs all around.

OK, it seems we are done with the morbid and on to brighter and better things, the making of pan...the boys show him how to do it. He really has forgotten this because he’s actually doing it with his shirt on. Hmmmm, poor Juan, he cries again.

Sara and Jime and the padre are at the Abuelo’s zoo telling of Juan’s return. The crowd is mixed on whether Juan is guilty as charged or not. Sara reminds them that they need to worry about Sofi’s baby above all. Padre yells for them to believe and Abue says well, duh, where is that Sofi. We find out she is denouncing Juan at the commisario. Some set guy had a blast drawing the wanted poster in there.

Feo and Crabi are still fretting over this development. Crabbi is venting the possible horribles and Feo silently reaches his limit and tells her to shut up that they have to carefully calculate what they are going to do. Crabbi just can’t calm herself very well, she’s scared, scared, scared. Feo wants to go to the pueblo, Crabbi doesn’t want him to, but then a maid comes up to tell them of the news that they already know. Oh and one detail they don’t. The chisme is that Juan has returned without any memory. Evil sick smirks all around on the villain front.

Juan continues to profess that he only remembers the time he was in the jungle. The boys thought he was dead, but never gave up hope. They admire how Capricho brought him back safe and sound, but Juan says well I’m not safe or sound, he needs to find the daughter. He damns creation that he doesn’t know where to find his baby.

He then recounts his stop at the church and how he met Sofi for the first time, but was as impressed as ever at this angel, until she turned around and accused him of robbing their spawn. He screams for the 103rd time that he doesn’t remember anything.

The boys will recount their history from the very beginning. Oh great I know what this means, I don’t have to type. We are treated to flashbacks of the story of their sister and the revenge pact, his great scream, their blood oath at the grave, the first sighting of the sisters Elizonde, the subsequent falling in love, Vicente, the romp in the hay (literally), the fessing up, and then his supposed eventual leaving with the daughter in his arms. Juan says if he did that then where would the babe be?

Sofi shows up at the zoo and proclaims how she just denounced Juan. They all tell her there is no proof and she's a nut for jumping to conclusions. (We all know that.)

Feo and Crabbi muse over their fortune to have an amnesiac Juan. Feo says before everything, they have to pretend to be surprised and swear that that stupido pays for what he did to Sofi, they have to be more united than ever. Eww...

Oscar is still telling the tale of who hates them when the rest of the crew show up and note the lost son behind the bread racks. They welcome the returned Juan, after the happy party, Eva who is always good at ruining parties says that surely he must have the baby. Uh no, he doesn’t know anything. Yep, happy party is definitely over now.

Juan runs off and is crying in the other room, Pablito goes in to find him and hands him his hat. Pablo tells who he is and why he’s there, and how Juan is like a papi to him. He very astutely says you have to go look for someone who really can help you, the most knowledgeable person Pablito knows, and that person is none other than the town loon, General Augustin Acevedo. Juan does just that. He asks for help from our General.

Sofi wonders to herself if all this is really true, if Juan really can’t remember, she begs for virginal help until she hears Capricho whinny below at the zoo and knows that Juan is with the general.

The bakers two think Juan went straight to the mouth of the wolf by going there because Feo and Crabbi are also there, they go after him.

Sofi also runs down and goes after him. The girls won’t leave her to go by herself so the sises follow, and then that pesky maid tells Feo and Crabby the scoop.

Don Auggie is essentially telling Juan he better come up with a better story than the weak one that he has no memory, because there is no way he can prove innocence and defend himself with that farce. Juan says he doesn’t care about defending himself, he just wants his love and his daughter back. Just then, said love, hothead Sof, runs in and yells at Abue for allowing this robanino into his home.

Abue is miffed. Why not? She repeats her song and dance again. Juan finally loses his patience, he says "Fine then kill me," because he can’t stand the suffering anymore. You tell her Juan, man, she’s annoying!!!

Feliz dia de los Muertos!!!

Labels:


Comments:
Yes, Sobfia, kill us! Kill us all! So we no longer have to fast-forward three-quarters of the show because of you. Put us out of our misery. Caray!!

The Good: Juan finally making it to Hacienda R-R. By then, he had to be thinking, "Hell, isn't ANYONE glad to see me in this burg??" * The boys all together again. Juan looks handsome with his hair longer. And that 1000-watt smile... Mm. I liked seeing him back in his own clothes and hat. Some scenes made me grin, some made me sad, some were bittersweet. The ones with Sobfia were just plain irritating. * Pablito. Bless him.

The Bad: "Please take care of my Luisito should anything happen to me, dear Ofie." Yuh-huh. That says Rosy's a goner. :(

The Ugly: Feo up and smacking the glass out of Crabzilla's hand with such force... and did't he get a part of her face, too? Wow. * Crabzilla savoring her wine looking like she'd just had an orgasm or something, eyes all rolling (because of Juan's amnesia). Uck.

The Funny: Juan hiding behind the bread racks when everyone stormed the kitchen. And the way all anyone could do when they saw him was shout "JUAN!!" at the top of their lungs, which scared the shite out of him every time. * Feo and Crabzilla trading rattlesnake looks. "The jackhat's forgotten it all. We're safe! Bwahahahaha!"

Scenes from tomorrow show Mutton Chops with his gun on Juan. Are you kidding me?? Juan being shot at was how we got in this latest caca to begin with! I wonder... what'll happen when Juan sees Mean Mad Feo. Will that jog something, perhaps? If not, I hope Capricho continues taking matters into his own hands--er, hooves, rears back on his hind legs and proceeds to clobber Juan about the head and shoulders, as hard as he can, to bring the freakin' memory back. In the jungle was fine, but now is no time to have amnesia. You're going to jail, dude!

Gracias, Rosca de Reyes. :)
 

Fuego Rosca thanks for the speedy recap. And, Stephe, thanks for your observations.

What reverberated in my mind last night was that Juan has new lines: "Kill me, just kill me." Will Feo step up and put this man out of his misery?

Crabi, the weak, seems to have withstood the jaw-breaking slap from Feo. Ugh!
 

Thank you for the recap. When Feo smacked Crabi I was thinking "It's about time somebody gave her a taste of her own medicine." I actually think she liked it!

Oh look, there's Sophia--flip--commercial--flip--and there's more Sophia--flip--soccer--flip--Sophia saying you stole my baby...I think you get the picture. This show has got to pick up. We didn't get to see Demian this episode. It's a toss up between Juan and Demian. They are both so yummy!
:-P
 

The train is off the tracks, it's lost its wheels. this episode was so lame, I was falling asleep. The high point was the Feo-to-Crabi slap. Why don't they give us replays of the momentous events? Thanks, anyway, Fuego Rosca Reyes...dd
 

Thanks for the recrap, Fuego. Yet another yawner.

Nice to see Rosi and Ofelia back from their vacation, which was spent taking their agents to court for putting them in this novela. They are the two most sane people on this show. Caprichio and Mariachi still beat them out in overall cast category.

Too bad the dirt Oscar threw in Juan’s face did not have a big rock in it. A hard blow to the head usually cures amnesia, doesnt'it? or is that only in U.S. Tv & movies?

We should add “flashback scenes” to the “Juan lines” and “Sofia lines.”

doris
 

Thanks for the recap Fuego and to you all who posted (bbstephe, pasofino, connie, dorado dave and doris). I was laughing so hard I had to stop eating breakfast. The wretchedness of this novela does bring out the hilarious nature of our group.
 

Cry in your beer, cry over spilled milk, cry me a river, and now cry in your bread! Wait a minute. Didn't Tarzjuan know how to bake in the jungle? This must be a subtle plot device to show that he's actually getting worse, not better. I think Augie's shack's roof is showing some age. Also, did you ever wonder why on the outside it's early FEMA but the inside is nicely done. And Capricho is continuing to be a stand out performer. I'd know that relinchos anywhere. (It's not true that Mariachi has to feed him his lines).

Abuelo P
 

Thanks Kris, Stephe, Pasofino, Connie, Dorado Dave, Doris, Karen and AbueloP for hanging in with your wit and wisdom. FELS writers really need all of us, this show is so annoying. Only this fine community of snarkers is keeping me at all sane these days.
I don't know why, but Juan not knowing how to make bread after he did it to a fare-thee-well in the jungle also got up my nose with a cockleburr.
We should all get a chance to slap Gabi silly and her insufferable daughters too. I can't believe I have no sympathy for a bereft mother but I have none, not one drop.
 

Thanks for the snappy recap..It was on..my husband fell asleep and my AADD led me sadly astray. I did see the whole Juan crying jag...Gawd what the f### ever happened to the strong silent type?

Of course, this is so stupid that I am even asking this..but don't you think someone would ask Big-headed dumbass, what is the first thing you remember after you forgot? Like Dude did you wake up in Vegas under a call girl with a receipt in your had from "Sal's Baby Buyers" or did you wake up wet in a jungle village with a freekin bullet in your head?

See the difference?
Sofie-my new mantra
STFU
 

I missed the Crabi/Feo slap when I turned back to Dancing With the Stars. When did this episode air in Mexico so that I can look for it on You Tube?
I suppose in a town with no phones, there would not have access to DNA testing to see which little girl is Sofia's.
 

Doris: "A hard blow to the head usually cures amnesia, doesn't it? or is that only in U.S. Tv & movies?"

I remember first seeing that "cure" in a Gilligan's Island episode (where I get most of my medical expertise), so I suspect that it isn't really true.

However, in Juan's case I'm willing to let someone try. It's probably just a matter of time before Oscar smacks him upside the head anyway.

On the other hand, if anyone really NEEDS a case of amnesia, it's Sofi. And I KNOW there's a waiting list of people, real and fictitious, who'd like to smack her in the head.
 

Even in Serdan, people would have access to DNA testing - any doctor could either arrange it or tell them who to contact.

It'd take a while and cost some money, but it could be done. You can actually mail the samples to the lab, so location shouldn't be an issue.
 

And I was thinking some more last night about why I hated the Las Barrancas storyline so much. I think I figured it out.

We've spent months and months in Mexidoon - this nutty place that can't exist in the real world. Then a character gets amnesia and ends up in a place that's even more ridiculous than Mexidoon.

If, instead, Juan had ended up some place in the real world - like the DF or maybe even in Puebla - and had to deal with it as an amnesiac - that would have been so much better. It might even have been good. Instead of coming off as some genius among implausibly ignorant people in the woods, he could have proven himself among regular, sensible people.

That would have gone a LONG way towards making the amnesia storyline, as well as this entire novela, more appealing for me.

But that would have been asking too much. :(
 

Yes, Julie, that would have been a good story line, for Juan to have ended up in a modern city.
Can you imagine his reaction to cell phones, fax machines and Starbucks, and most of all to a Wonder Bread Outlet.
 

Fuego~~~~Thanks for hanging in there and delivering the recap. You are stronghearted. I was flipping back and forth between Juan in his white pjs crying into the pan and Warren Sapp doing the Samba. Warren won out. He was smiling and grooving. Juan, I love you, but my patience with this show is growing very thin. Help. Let's pick up the pace and get that DNA test on those baby girls. Perhaps Juan's memory will come back the instance he sets eyes on his little girl.
 

Julie and Lola you are cracking me up. Yes, Juan goes down the yellow brick load to see the wizard in DF would be good. I don't think they have shown us a really modern Puebla so maybe that is too much like Mexidoon but please take this sadass story somewhere, anywhere but in this swamp of tears and recriminations.
Has anyone noticed that Sofia is really the one with selective amnesia, she keeps forgetting that Feo is a snake and likely to be involved in her troubles.
There was one brief moment of justice when abuelo compared the truthiness (thanks Colbert for this lovely word) of Juan's amnesia story to Jimena's fake coma act. At least she rolled her eyes nervously.
 

Fuego: thanks for the recrap. I promptly fell asleep during the Ofi/Rosario sob scene. This show is perfect for insomniacs, if nothing else.

In a sure sign of really lousy writing/producing etc., the FELs crew here now wants to smack Slofia as much as we want to smack Crabi. When was the last time you wanted to take out a heroine because she was such a whiny, snotty little _________?

And, who would have believed when we started watching this crapfest that the true hero would be a horse? I think we need t-shirts: Capricio for President--Washington needs a little horse sense.

Maggarita
:-$
 

Yes, three hips and a hooray to the horse, who ever said a dog and pony show was for kids!!!! Viva mariachi and Capricho!!!

I want to see them at the Latin Emmy's.... :)

Thanks everyone for hanging in there with me, you all make it worth it to do this!!!!
 

Muchas gracias, R de R, for your expertise and dedication. I'm guilty of slipping over to Dancing with the Stars and only sampling FELS.
I did see Rosario's speech to Ofelia, said uh-oh, this can't be good for her future.
Bless Pablito's heart for trying to help Juan, although it's hopeless.
What a sad mess! I picture a group of stoned slacker writers locked in a back room somewhere, with a dart board up on the wall. The tired old plot devices and characters are posted on the board, and the writers just throw darts to decide what gets included in each episode. There are three bonus spots in the center--one for a bonbon dance, one for Quintina silliness, and one for a recap/flashback to bring everyone who missed anything up to date.
I have to believe that's how it works, because there's so little of logic and literary values left.
But, hey, it does bring out all the great comments to go with the CarayCaray recaps, so it's not all bad.
La Paloma, sitting disconsolate with a crumpled tinfoil hat
 

Maggarita,

I love it! We couldn't find rooster shirts but surely we could find Capricho shirts!

Sophia has turned into a hateful, nasty little schrew. I keep waiting for her head to spin around and pea soup come shooting out of her mouth.

And I'm getting pretty sick of Eva too, just for the record.
 

You can get a rooster shirt here:

http://www.laboraya.com/gallofino/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=12

That's not the best price I've seen, but it was the first site I found that had prices in US currency.

If your Spanish is good, you might have more luck on one of those auction sites like mercadolibre.
 

Great Julie. I guess I missed that we had found a site for the fabulous Rooster shirts.
 

I don't think we had. I mean, I had found some when I looked around a few months ago, but they didn't look like they'd be easy to order from (might not ship to the US). I tried googling again today with better search terms, something like "charra camisa gallo" and that's what I found.

It's tempting, but I don't know where I would wear such a thing... I love men's shirts, but I already have more than I need, given the limited number of places I can show 'em off.
 

If you think it is bad now..you know that somehow Juan will be found not the babythief, but he will still continue to apoligize to Princess, endlessly..ad nauseum.

Sofie is just gawd awful, what a nagging shrew & the truth is I guess due to the mystical curse ala libia & pervy Ber..these asshats are doomed to be entwined por siempre.

My only relief is seeing the young Libia hooking up with a guy who was born in the second half of the 20th century (in the angel tele).
While dork nephew of Rac, got some Elvis Costello glasses and is banging the hell outta a young rich hottie. See some people do escape Mexidoom
 

Julie you could wear it along with your beanie while you sit in your living room and watch the show (and hope that no one comes to the door while you are wearing it!) Can't you just see all of us sitting around in our rooster shirts and beanies. It brings a smile to my face. :-P
 

I really think the writers have all gone to Cancun for a vacation. Otherwise why would this episode be 95% flashbacks that were bad enough the first 1000 times we saw them. If I see the Libia cave again I will be heard screaming all the way to Cd. Serdan. The town needs to buy Sofi a one way ticket to anywhere...we can't be the only ones sick of her constant whining and badmouthing of dear dense Juan. We need an all animal episode. G in CA
 

G in CA--I agree. It would be much more entertaining.
 

Pasofino: What reverberated in my mind last night was that Juan has new lines: "Kill me, just kill me." LOLOL!

Doris: Too bad the dirt Oscar threw in Juan’s face did not have a big rock in it. ROFLMAO!

Abuelo P: I think Augie's shack's roof is showing some age. Also, did you ever wonder why on the outside it's early FEMA but the inside is nicely done. ROFL!!!!! OMG.

Like Dude did you wake up in Vegas under a call girl with a receipt in your had from "Sal's Baby Buyers"... Beckster, you're killing me!!! ROFL

Rosca de Reyes wants to see Capricho and Mariachi at the Latin Emmys! LOLOLOL

Is anyone else going to escape Mexidoon for the better location and script of CUIDADO, I wonder? Be on the lookout.

G in CA: We need an all animal episode. La Paloma: I picture a group of stoned slacker writers locked in a back room somewhere, with a dart board up on the wall. ROFL

I cannot even begin to quote all the hilarity in this thread today. There is soooo much more, but not enough room. You all are terrific! My tummy hurts.
 

Fuego: thanks for Super Snarky Recrap!
La Paloma, disconsolate in your crumpled tinfoil hat: I feel your pain.
Notice how seeing a stranger's baby in Las Barrancas caused Juan to go into the screaming fit of flashback agony, but seeing his own family in the flesh... nada?
BTW, I hate to bring up, but I think Mariachi is being played by a new actor.
In the wagon-on-bridge scene, he looked redder, fuzzier...different. And he had an accent.
Didn't someone say the original story was written in the 1940's? So maybe the writers are not including any technology later than that (cel phones, DNA test, etc).
 

Oops, that was me
"Creemelo"
 

Was that a Chilean or Venezuelan accent that Mariachi had? Very funny.
 

Oh Chileno, definitely! The "new" Mariachi looked bored and annoyed at having to ride in a burro cart! He looked more like a smoking-jacket kind of dog.
(The other Mariachi had a bit of a crooked front leg...hope he's okay.)
Oh, almost forgot; in previews, Muttonchops is bellowing about arresting Juan for the kidnapping of his daughter.
I thought he told Sufria earlier that it was not a crime for a parent to take their own child.
"Cree"
 

"He looked more like a smoking-jacket kind of dog."

OMG, roflol!!! (and I have to totally agree with you)

doris
 

Cree, you are observant. The new Mariachi did seem to have "attitude."
 

I wonder if the "old" Mariachi was a stray they picked up off the street. He had lots of personality.
"Cree"
 

"I thought he told Sufria earlier that it was not a crime for a parent to take their own child."

I remember that, too! More of the time warp continuum, suspend disbelief, yadda yadda yadda.

Send more bananas to the monkey writers!

doris
 

I'll bet the "old" Mariachi had a meeting with his agent about this dumb novela and got out of his contract. Probably bit the agent.

I'm just sayin'.

doris
 

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