Caray, Caray!

Capítulo 156

First, a little repetitious review:

Poor, sickly, uber-cheery Juliana has lost some of her fizz and pop since the last fainting spell. Juan has granted her a wish. It’s a lover’s serenade.

Meanwhile in Bungalow del Bruto, Darth Rico shows his snake belt to Gabi and is listening to her lay a load of horse puckey on him about the belt really being a duplicate of his own that she supposedly gave to Bernie at the same time back in the day. DV calls her on it and says she swore when she gave it to him that it was one of a kind. Gabi bates him by asking if he’s ticked because it wasn’t a custom job or because he’s jealous that she gave an identical belt to her late and not-so-great. He grabs Gabi around her neck and warns her not to provoke him. He killed Juanjo out of jealousy and it’s why he never went back with her. He killed in a blind, jealous rage when she confessed her love for Juanjo. So, she better not play with him like that again.

Gabi smiles that sadomasochistic smile of hers (yeah, she’s one sick bitch-puppy) and grabs him from the back for a sensual hug. “Feeling you near me again like this…it’s no game.” DV turns around, doubting but hopeful. “You are The Devil [incarnate]” He grabs her. They embrace and kisssss passionately (for a couple of old fogies) while the hot steam of Hell escapes from all visible orifices. (Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, but the muse is upon me.)

In the kitchen of the Double R (Hacienda de los Robles-Reyes) Juan is asking his brothers for help with the serenade. They are duly impactado when they learn it’s for Juliana. ¡Qué comprometido! (Pretty compromising!) They agree because, (as we in Viewerville all know) Juliana is dying and the novela gods and Juan cannot disappoint. (Ha! Wait till you hear him sing! When will hunky EY ever get it through his gorgeous head that for him the magic stops at mouthing do-re-mi?)
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Back at sinister central, Gabi and Darth are devouring each other’s tongues and about to dissolve into devilish delights when Gabi suddenly pulls away. She tells DV she’s never forgotten him and nags the dude to tell her he feels the same. (Gabi, if you’ve got to ask at this point, you REALLY shouldn’t be there.) DV is like, WTF? and won’t answer. (I don’t think he can. Poor shlub. He’s in media res and panting too hard.) Just then Raqui comes back home and Rico must needs be left high without the dry. Gabi doesn’t miss a step, though, and quickly explains that she was just telling Rico that this snake belt in her hand (Wink, Wink, Raqui) happens to be the one that she gave Bernie years ago, the one found in Sofia’s room? Raqui goes along with the ruse. So does Rico, but for very different reasons…. Well, Gabi’s got errands to run and she has to leave. “C U later.” Raqui stares over at Darth. He stares back. “Wha—You got issues?” he growls.

In town a while later, Roman’s car is still on the fritz. Gabi walks past and he yells over to her. She turns around and he introduces himself and asks if he and Gonzalo might have permission to date her daughters. She says she remembers him so sure and then invites them over for the little welcoming party she has planned that evening for her house guests.

That night all three of the Reyes’ serenade Juliana and her buds, Elena and Pau. Actually, EY brays like Donkey while Oscar and Franco do the heavy lifting, melodically speaking. (Man, even Uni’s audio tech couldn’t keep EY from humiliating himself again.) Juliana and friends are apparently tone deaf and have a wonderful time with it all.

Back at the Double E (Hacienda de las Elizondo y aún del Escandon) guests are arriving and sitting around like wooden dummies. A boring evening is about to be had by all. Jimena, Sofia and Sarita finally show up and Mama forces them all to come in and greet the guests, especially the Posible Brothers, Roman and Gonzalo. (I don’t think they’ve ever given their last name/s.) She brings Jimena and Sarita in and has them sit down. “Such nice young men and with perfect pedigrees….” Sofia tries to beg off by saying she has had a long day and really has to attend to her little girls right now, but Mama and Augie persuade her to stick around for a bit. So, Gabi introduces and offers a toast to Ricardo and Root Uribe and purposely forgets (?) Raquel, till Augie reminds her of it. She adds Raqui to the list and toasts, “To old times.” Rico offers his own toast, “And to the new ones.” Neither Fer nor Raqui can miss Darth and Gabi locking eyes with each other.

Root gets bored and walks upstairs. She thinks about Fernando’s suggestion to ally themselves in order to bring down Sofia. She also remembers Eva telling Sofia anyone trying to get to the little girls in order to hurt them will have to kill her first. She walks into the little girls’ room and looks around. Just then Eva enters. ”I’m damned to see you everywhere I go,” Root hisses and leaves. Eva follows her and wants to know what she was doing in that room. Root says not her business. Root gets curious though, and asks Eva why she’s so willing to take crap off her and everybody else. Eva stutters out nervously that there is a very painful truth at the bottom of it all, but it’s not her place to discuss it.

Downstairs, meanwhile, Sofia brags to Augie and Santi over the way she’s made Fernando heel. Santi says they’re both delighted the way she’s handled the situation and mentions they plan to bring down Fer with something they’ve named “Evil’s Road/ Route of Evil” (Ruta del Mal). Augie’s attention turns to Raqui and the way her hair seems to cover up something that looks like a bruise around her eye. She lies about falling against the door in the bathroom. He warns her that “those ‘accidents’ can be very dangerous at times.” (HINT, HINT, Raqui.)

Eventually all good things must come to an end, and DV excuses himself. “Exhausting trip and such.” He drags Raqui off with him back to the bungalow. Then Fer bows out and then Sofia, but rather than be caught alone in the dark with him and all those people to hear the row, she doubles back into the living room and tells Augie it’s time she takes him back upstairs with her. The Posibles thank Gabi for a nice evening (liars/fools?) and she tells them there’s no need to leave so soon. They should stick around and chat a while longer with her daughters if they’d like.

Over at Don Clemente’s, before her daddy takes her upstairs and tucks her into bed, Juliana coaxes a promise from Juan to come back and visit with her the next morning.

Back over at Bungalow del Bruto, Darth Rico is denying to Raqui that there was anything going on between him and their hostess tonight. Raqui says it’s a bit odd the way Gabi was paying him so much attention during the party. He says that was because the party was in his honor, duh. Raqui wants to know though if in the past they might have had something doing. “Did you cheat on me with Gabi back when?” He walks off grumbling about her becoming more of a pain in the side every day.

Up in their bedroom Fer is griping to Gabi about being completely ignored all evening while she slobbered all over Ricardo Uribe. She laughs and asks if he’s jealous. He snorts. She sneers back, “Why should you be jealous if you had Raquel there with you?” He swears there’s nothing going on between her and him. Gabi doesn’t believe him as far as she can throw him. Root’s already told her about finding the belt in his old room, she tells him. It was always kept in her parents’ bedroom, so that can only mean one thing. She says she can’t prove it but if she finds evidence that he has gone to bed with Raquel she’ll make sure DV gets an earful immediately if not sooner.

Outside, down in the patio area, the Posibles are busy wooing (if not wowing) Jimena and Sarita. They each want to know if they have a chance at a meaningful relationship. Jimena tells Roman that she likes him and they get along well, but she can’t promise him anything because she doesn’t know if she’s ready for another relationship yet. Gonzalo tells Sarita that he’s an upfront kind of guy. He’s extremely interested in her. She admits to a bad relationship before with somebody else. He tells her that one bad experience doesn’t mean she’s got to give up on love altogether. The two couples seal their indecision with one puckerless, passionless, and pointless kiss. (Boys, take your losses and head for the hills; and consider yourselves lucky for getting out while the gettin’ was good.)

Darth is galloping over to the Double R in the dark, the essence of masked malevolent marauder. (Uh, let’s pretend that we’re from Mexiloon, too, so as not to destroy the illusion that it’s impossible for anyone to ever recognize him with half his face still visible like that). Feo sneaks into the bungalow. It scares Raqui because she knows what will happen if hubby Rico catches them like that. He tells her to pipe down because Rico’s going to be awhile getting back. He just saw him ride off for parts unknown. He threatens her then about telling DV about them if she doesn’t give him the cash he needs. She begs for more time because since Rico guards every centavo in his accounts it will be difficult to manage.

Over at the Double R (Hacienda de los Robles-Reyes) Rico sneaks into the darkened part of the main house while Juan is in the kitchen, kneading that special aphrodisiac bread dough of his. As the camera rolls in–someone, possibly Darth Rico--is surreptitiously approaching Juan from the back. Suddenly it's attack of the Octopussy. Root jumps him (Meowrrrr!) just as he turns around from the oven thinking it’s Sofia. Root, obviously wishing it was her being kneaded instead of the damned bread dough, puts her suction cups on him and fairly smothers him with her slut-kiss. (Damn, Juan! It just blows to be an Alpha male at times.) Papa Bear sneaks into a corner of the kitchen just a second or two after and realizes Root is the one sucking face and ready to sleep with the enemy. Freeze frame and cut to commercial.

When we return to Juan’s kitchen clutter, he is successfully pulling Root off him. (Too late for Papa Bear, though. He’s ridden off in a hell of a mood.) Juan yells at Root that if it weren’t for his respect for Eva he’d throw her out on her butt right then and there for attacking him like that. “Eva again! What the heck has she got to do with things, huh?” Juan catches himself before he lets the cat out of the proverbial bag. “It’s not my place to tell you. Now GET OUT. SCRAM!” She leaves and he wipes her spit off his mouth. “Damned stupid girl!”

Darth is galloping away like the wind, and he is not believing what he was just seeing. “It can’t be! My own daughter is falling in love with my worst enemy! It. can’t. be!”

Back at the Double E, Crabi runs into Eva on the landing. “I’m fed up seeing you in my house! Your presence is a living reminder of everything I hate!” Eva tells her tough nuts cuz she’s not leaving there anytime soon and certainly not before she’s gotten round to telling Root who she really is. Gabi tells her she has no idea what Ricardo Uribe is capable of and if Eva plays with fire here, she’ll definitely get burned. Eva reminds Gabi that she won’t be the only one to come out with 3rd degree burns. She says she knows that Gabi is Raqui’s accomplice in this whole mess and that Rico doesn’t know Root’s not really his daughter. “So what do you think might happen if he ever learns the truth? He would take it out on you, Gabriela, not me.” She walks off leaving Crabi to mull this disconcerting bit of truth over a while.

Sarita is having another moment of self-reflection and goes for a late night chit chat with Jimena. They both agree that the bitterness the Reyes’ hold in their hearts for dear, dead Daddy is making it impossible to continue holding out for a miracle that someday they could actually ever really find happiness together with them. Roman and Gonzalo, on the other hand, can have them as a consolation prize.

At the same time Fernando’s taking a smoke in the back-forty somewhere. He’s sweating in his leather jacket, and then the specter of Rosario floats nearby. Suddenly, he feels a chill and turns around. “It’s her! But it can’t be! She’s dead! She’s dead! --It can’t be!” He yells at her to leave him be a few times and finally squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens them Rosario’s ghost is gone. Feo runs back inside the hacienda, scared half out of his miserable skin.

Up in her bedroom, Root is thinking about how Juan rejected her again. What she really wants to know is why he brought up Eva. She decides that the next day she’ll go ask her mother for an explanation.

From the other side of the upstairs balcony Augie watches Fer racing up the stairs to his room. “Looks like you’ve seen a ghost. Must’ve been the ghoulish guardians of the graveyard who are after you. One of the ghoulies has been let out and it can only mean they’re singling you out as its murderer. It insists that you not only killed Bernardo, but Dr. Gomez, Armando, and Rosario as well!” This really freaks Fer out and he screams back that he doesn’t ever want to hear Rosario’s name mentioned again. Augie says tough because he’s going to hound him about it. “They must have held something pretty powerful over you and so you had to kill them. Isn’t that it?” Feo screams at Augie to shut up. “You’re going to pay dearly once and for all!” He grabs Augie’s chair and rolls him over to the top of the stairs. Augie yells back. “Killing me won’t get you anything! Very shortly you’re going to receive your punishment. I assure you all your crimes are going to be turned against you!”

Fernando dumps Augie out of his chair and tries to push him to his death, but Augie catches the rail and stops his fall just in time. (The house has got to be freaking huge for nobody to hear this commotion.) “Even the dead are going to return to take their vengeance on you!” Fernando’s had enough and races away. Augie takes a deep breath and says to himself, “You’re done for, Fernando. Your reaction proves your guilt. You are guilty!”
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Morning comes to Cd. Serdán. In a three-hanky scene Juliana begs Clemente to tell her what’s really wrong with her, but he can’t. He tells her she’ll be fine with a few treatments. She tells him he’s a lousy liar and says she has a right to know what’s happening to her. “Am I going to die, Daddy? I don’t want to die!” Viewerville gets a real tug at the old heartstrings watching him struggle with this. The poor old guy simply can’t bring himself to do it.

Sarita is up bright and early and writing Franco another sad, “impossible” love letter. She remembers their happiest times together and begins to write: “You were always my impossible love. Life has persisted in keeping us apart. I must resign myself to never having you.” [Sob] Therefore, I will try to forget you. I’ve made the decision because of your feelings, because of what you think, because Fate wants it so, and because of the way you all feel about my father. I’ve made the decision to give myself a chance, even though my heart might not want to, with whoever it might be, [Sob. Sob. Sniff.] because you are going to continue to be my ‘impossible love’. [Sob. Sniff. Sob. Sob.] My ‘imposible love’ eternally. –I love you, Sarita.”

Jimena decides to handle things differently. She visits Oscar while he’s in the kitchen baking. “Oscar?” He turns around and smiles. (Swoon.) He starts to greet her with a welcoming hug but she stops him. “I’ve only come to tell you I’m going to give myself a chance to be happy…without you.” (Ok. Did Oscar think they could necessarily go on ad infinitum playing with other people’s lives because of Juan’s problem? It’s got to be fish or cut bait eventually. Jimena’s going to go find the other fish in the sea while you, Oscar, continue to cut bait for Juan. Fool!) Jimena walks away and out of his life.

In Juans’ office, meanwhile, Tio Vicente looks on as Juan complains to Eva about Root’s latest escapade. “She came in and got on my nerves. I had to run her off.” Eva tells him not to worry because she understands totally. She only hopes that Raquel tells her the truth and won’t lie about it; otherwise, she’ll have to tell her. Vicente says out of the blue that he can’t believe all the wicked things Gabi’s done. (Uh, like where did this come from? What did they edit?) He can’t believe that garbage about his old friend, Bernie, either. “I knew Bernardo and what I believe least is that Bernardo Elizondo would have killed your parents. I’m telling you, I knew him!”

Juan tells his Tio that he’s not buying it. Gabriela Elizondo described his parent’s murder just exactly as he saw it when he was a little boy. “How did she find out? The only way is that Bernardo told her. My parent’s murderer confessed his crime to Gabriela and that was Bernardo Elizondo! Nobody can convince me otherwise.” Vicente says, “OR, it was the real murderer. Haven’t you thought that there could have been another man who is the murderer and that HE told Gabriela? Have you thought about it?” (Vicente, that is asking a bit much from our Juan. You don’t know him the way we’ve come to.) Just then Don Clemente knocks and enters the room. He’s frantic for Juan to come help him with Juliana.

At Bungalow del Bruto Darth is sitting alone and sulking. Baby Root walks in all smiles. “Hi, Pop! Where’s Mom?” He gets up and wallops her one across the mouth. “Shameless slut!” Raqui watches in the dark through a crack in her bedroom door, terrified.

Back at the main house Eva walks in on a much happier family scene and watches Sofia playing with her little girls. She tells Sofia that it brings back memories of when she took care of her and her sisters. Sofia tells her she was always like a mother for them and much more so than her own mother. Sofia was her favorite and most devoted of the three and Eva always pretended they were really hers. Sofia says likewise. Eva says she feels there is a special bond the two of them share that seems to be missing between her and her own daughter; and Sofia agrees it’s bonded them like a real mother and daughter. Sofia has to leave then and makes sure that Eva checks on Maria Jose who has not been feeling well.

Back at the bungalow again, Root asks her dad why he hit her. “It’s the first time you’ve hit me. What did I do?” “—What did you do? I saw you kissing Reyes! You, who I raised to be just like me, crawling all over him like a whore! Offering yourself to my worst enemy!” He won’t let her try to explain. (Not much need.) “What the devil is there to explain? I saw clearly with my own eyes! Get this straight. My enemies are yours!“ “—Why? Just because you decide?” He wallops her again. “Because I’m your father, you brat!” She warns him never to hit her again and walks off.

At the main house, Eva tells the nuns that Maria Jose is burning up with fever and she’s going to go race out for the doctor.

Root tries to talk to her daddy again, but he says there’s no need. He knows she’ll lie because she’s her father’s daughter. She insists she’s always been straight with him. He’s the one who has changed and is now keeping secrets. She wants to know what took him back to their old hacienda that he ended up spying on her and Juan. “That’s my business!” “--Well, then, Juan’s my business. I’m not telling you anything till you tell me. It’s one secret after another around here –and what’s the deal with that old gal, Eva? I run into her everywhere I go! Nobody wants to tell me anything. I want answers and they’d better be quick in coming!” She leaves the room and Raqui thinks to herself that Rico would go crazy if he learned Root isn’t really his daughter.

On the way into the main house again, Root runs into Eva on her way for the doctor. She stops Eva and tries to wrangle the truth out of her but Eva says she’s got no time for this since one of the little ones is really sick and she’s got to go for the doctor. Root says let them die as far as she’s concerned; it doesn't matter to her. She wants her answer and now! Eva ignores her and races out.

Root goes looking to see if Gabi will explain things to her. “You’re the only one I trust. Why does Eva want to be around me?” Gabi tries to put her off and says Eva’s just nuts so not to pay any attention to her. Root says, no, there’s something more and she has to know what it is. No more lies between them. Gabi says fine, she’s mature and sensible, but she’s got to promise to keep this only between the two of them. Root says fine, and she’ll even promise to be her faithful ally and especially help to keep Juan away from Sofia. Sounds great to Gabi.

“Sit down….. Root, Raquel is not your mother.” The words ricochet around in Root’s head. “Say what?” “—Just what you heard. It’s the truth you’ve wanted so much to hear. Raquel is not your mother. The truth, Root, is that Eva’s your real mother. You’re Eva’s daughter.” Root chokes back a laugh because it’s obvious Gabi is deadly serious.