Caray, Caray!

Review of last night: Sofia arrives for the party and everyone figures out Juan isn’t in the house. She tells her sisters about her argument with Ricardo Uribe. She wants to rest while they wait for Juan and Oscar suggests she go to Juan’s room. The sisters take her to Juan’s room and they walk in on Root high in the saddle with Juan in his bed. Ruth flips her head around and laughs at Sophia while breathing heavily (Root gets the Oscar (the award not the brother) for acting), and tells Sofia she told her she’d steal Juan from her. The girls are impactadisima, to say the least. Just to rub it in a little more, Ruth says “Bye” as the girls run from the room.

The girls march out into the living room intent on leaving the hacienda when Oscar (the brother, not the award) stops them and wants to know what’s wrong. Sophia tells him to go ask his brother. Oscar says Juan’s not there, and Sofia says oh yes, he’s in his room. Franco walks in with Tio Vicente and crew and what’s to know what’s up. Sofia drops the bomb that Juan is in his bed with Root! MASS impactada-ness fills the room! Sophia’s all snarcastic with Oscar and says, “Is that clear enough for ya?” Everyone in the room is devastated. But how come none of them look shocked or surprised? Apparently they all think Juan is as stupid as we do.

Next we find Paddy Tad walking through the darkness with Nabor. They’re talking about Pad’s chat with Fermin in the jail and how he confirmed what Pad suspected, but that they have to be very cautious and careful in their decision-making about what to do. Paddy Tad says they need to speak with an attorney about proving Fermin’s innocence. Ooops, they stumble on the last person they want to see, Fernando. Feo says that it’s not the time of night for two “saints” to be out walking the road alone at night. Pad says they are not saints, and they’re not alone – G-d is always with them, although that’s not true for Feo. Feo asks Pad if Pad really believes that the devil is his ally and is his companion. Feo tells him he better return to the church with his prayers and stop with his foolishness. Paddy says not so fast, it’s not all foolishness – just this afternoon he spoke with Fermin, who is in jail for a crime that Feo committed and good ol’ Fermin is ready to tell the truth about Feo, and that he better be careful because the time has come for him to pay for his crimes.

Oy vey, cut to Root buttonin’ up her bosom when Tio, Oscar and Franco arrive in Juan’s room. Juan is still out cold, laying flat on his back. The boys and the Elf are uncomfortable and start to leave when Oscar calls out to Juan. No response. Oscar knows something is not right and calls to the boys and the Elf to come back. They start calling Juan as well, and ask Root what she did to him. She says Juan is a big enough boy to take care of himself. Oscar tells Root to finish getting dressed and get out. Rigo comes running in to say he tried to stop Sofia but he couldn’t. Franco steps closer to the bed, and Root leans over and gives Juan a big goodbye smooch. She calls them cuñado (brother-in-law) and tio and says adios. I guess in her mind doin’ the nasty constitutes familial relations as well – well at least a simulation thereof. Franco, Tio and Rigo escort Root out and Oscar pulls at Juan, realizing he’s out cold.

Back in the enchanted forest, Feo tells Paddy Tad he better be careful how he talks to him or the devil might appear. Pad says the devil is right in front of him and then Feo starts roughing Paddy Tad up. Seriously, when Feo gets that crazy look in his eyes, even I’m scared of him. Pad says he’s not scared, like he told him, G-d is always with him. Feo proceeds to rough Nabor up a bit, looks crazily at Pad, and then leaves.

Over at the Hacienda Doble E, Eva is pacing in the little girls’ room (not the bathroom – the actual little girls’ room), thinking about how finally the three little cherubs will have their Ma and Pa together, and that Sofia and Juan will marry tomorrow. Happiness and contentment don’t last long in Eva’s world, when Sofia comes in crying. Eva says no don’t cry, tomorrow you’re getting married. Sofia says no, no, no, Juan cheated, Juan’s been lying to me this whole time. Eva says no, no, no, Juan loves you more than life itself. Sofia says no, no, no, if he loved me he wouldn’t have betrayed me. Finally, Eva’s like, Que the hell? Sofia finally says Juan was in bed with Root! Eva says no way, that’s not possible, it’s not true – who could possibly have told you something crazy like that? Sofia says nobody told me, I saw them myself! For once, Eva is speechless and tearless. Tell you what – I’m not a completely cold, compassionless person. I truly feel bad for Sofia at this moment, but my compassion only goes so far. I feel much worse for all of us – I have a feeling we’re going to suffer painfully waiting for this ridiculousness to be resolved.

Sofia is now telling Sarita and Jimena that she still can’t believe what she’s just seen. How could Juan have possibly done this to her the night before their wedding? Although Sarita doesn’t want her to, Jimena fesses up that she saw Juan and Root kissing just the other day. Sofia says, “Are you trying to tell me this started before tonight?” Sarita says she didn’t want to believe it either. Sarita tells Sofia that Juan loves her, he’s loved her since they first met. Sofia says no, how can you say he loved me when you saw him in bed with Ruth just like I did. Jimena says it’s better to tell Sofia the whole truth, no matter how painful it might be. Jimena tells Sofia not to cry for Juan, he doesn’t deserve it. Sofia says to Jimena, “Don’t you get it? Everything my mother said to me is coming true – I’ll never be happy with Juan. Jimena says they’ll never be happy with Los Reyes (Sarita’s all “Hey!!! What about me over here? I had sex in an actual bed with Franco, we’re doing fine!) Jimena asks what Sofia is going to do now? Stay in that house and put up with their mother’s humiliations? Sofia says damn right I’m staying in my house with my daughters, I didn’t do anything wrong. (But it’s better to have your kids grow up around an abusive grandmother like that?) Sarita says but Root lives here too! Stupidfia says she’s not going “to flee” (huir) from the house, she’s not the one who has anything to be ashamed of.

Over in Juan’s room, he’s awake, but ready to blow chunks from the after effects of the tranquilizer meant for a horse. We’re even treated to dry heave sound effects, and Franco asks for a “bacinica” or a small pot for Juan to throw up in. (Bacinica was actually a chamber pot.) La realidad of it all! Juan says what they’re telling him happened cannot be true. Tio’s telling him to calm down, Franco is telling him he’s got to face what’s happened, and Oscar is telling him that Sofia just saw him in bed with Root. How is he supposed to calm down? He tries to get up and falls back on the bed. They’re trying to get him to remember exactly what happened. Juan says he was on his way to Sofia’s house when he felt something stab him in the back, un dardo (a dart), yeah, a dart! They drugged me! Tio asks, but who? Duh, Tio, where ya been lately? Juan, for once the smartest one in the room, says “Who else??? Root!” Juan’s trying to get up again and wants to go explain to Sofia, but he still can’t get up. They tell him to calm down, he can barely speak. Juan starts dry heaving again – YUM.

Feo walks into Crab’s office and says he’s got excellent news for her. Juan and Sofia are not getting married. Gabi is happily intrigued and Feo tells her that he and Root just broke up their engagement. Feo says Gabi can continue humiliating Sofia and laughing in her face for falling in love with Juan Reyes. If that isn’t enough for Gabi, now she wants to throw Sofia out in the street, but Feo says no, not right away at least. He says why waste the opportunity to see her humiliated. Gabi tells him he’s right, why should she deny herself the pleasure of humiliating Sofia again. Gabi is bursting with joy at this new development.

Sofia is in the chapel praying to her father. Eva obviously went running back to the scene of the crime and is yelling at Juan in the kitchen. How could he have done this to Sofia? Really, Juan looks pretty darn bad. Juan says he didn’t do anything. Eva is furious and says don’t lie. Juan says I don’t lie – you know me! Eva says but they saw you and Root in bed, naked and kissing! Juan says he still doesn’t understand what happened. Juan says that’s why he has to go and see Sofia. Eva says, “You really think she’s going to want to see you? That she’ll believe you? That anyone can believe this?” Now Juan’s mad, and says “You’re going to believe me! You know how much I love Sofia!” Eva says “Then why did you do it with Root?” Juan says Eva, of all people, is going to go and talk to Sofia and tell her to listen to what Juan has to say. Juan says to look him in the eye and tell him he’s lying! Is that what she sees? Eva’s having second thoughts now and looks confused.

Over at the cabaña, Darth has just learned of Feo’s and Root’s plot to separate Juan and Sofia. Darth says for once he’s happy about something that Feo did. Darth tells Ruth that now she has to be careful because Juan is going to come back looking for revenge. But Root tells Daddy Darth that Juan doesn’t have anything to use against them. He tells her she’s wrong, that Juan has found the papers saying that Raquel is the owner of everything. Root is impactada. Darth says that if Juan finds Raquel, that Juan will convince Raquel to leave Darth and Root in ruins. She starts telling Darth he better find Raquel, she can’t believe he still hasn’t been able to find her. Darth does not like her tone one darn bit, but she’s not backing down. She’s says it can’t be that hard to find Raq and walks out, throwing some food on the floor for good measure.

Sofia Kerrigan is still in the chapel: “Why??? Why me????? Why me????” Why can’t she and her sisters be happy with the men they love.

Root (aka Tonya Harding) comes home after a hard day of breakin’ up marriages, throws her leather jacket on the banister and runs up the stairs, when Juan’s stirrups come clangin’ through the door. He wants an explanation of how they got in bed together. Laughingly, she tells him she can’t believe he can’t remember, it was Juan that wanted to be with her. How can Juan deny what they feel for each other. Juan picks her up, throws her over his shoulder and holds her over the railing like he’s going to drop her, yelling that she better tell him the truth. She’s screaming the whole time to let her go. He puts her back down on the stairs and says he could never have feelings for a woman like her with no self-respect or dignity. Root tells him she’s giving him the opportunity to be happy with her. He says he loves Sofia and he’s perfectly happy with her. She asks him if he really thinks Sofia is going to believe him, that she saw them in bed naked, kissing. Root says Sofia will never get that image out of her mind, that she’ll always suspect Juan of having been with Root. Juan says look at you, how pretty and hateful you are. Where did you get so much anger to become so hateful and perverse. Crabiela comes out and wants to know what’s going on. Juan says he came to see Sofia, but Crabs tells him Sofia isn’t in the house. Juan’s yelling: Gaviota! I mean “Sofia!” into her room, but doesn’t find her there or anywhere else in the house (or Gaviota either). As he’s leaving Crabs takes the opportunity to tell him that Sofia hates him. Juan says she obviously doesn’t know her daughter very well, Sofia doesn’t know how to hate. Juan tells Gaby that he’s saving up all the things she’s done to him in a bag full of rotten bread (un costal de pan podrido – un costal is the big flour sack). He says it’s a good thing Crabs is the mother of the women he loves, or otherwise he’d basically have to open a can of whoop ass on her. Yeah, and you too Root!

Now Juan’s outside screamin’ at poor Capricho. Malhaya! Which I understand to mean something much stronger than “Shit!” “Shit!” He tells Capricho that he can’t believe what he’s gotten himself into, he has to talk to Sofia! Malhaya!!!! Meanwhile, Oscar is telling Franco and Vicente that they should have gone with Juan to the Hacienda Doble E. Tio says Juan was right to go alone, that this is between Juan and Sofia. Oscar says what if Sofia doesn’t forgive Juan? Franco says no, they will be married tomorrow, if they don’t get married tomorrow, they’ll never get married. Tio says that if Juan loses Sofia, Juan will never be the same again.

Juan finds Sofia in the chapel. He says they have to talk. She says about what? Your cheating? Your betrayal? She tells him to get lost, she never wants to see him again. He says how can you believe that I betrayed you? She says I saw you in your bed with Root! Are you going to tell me that’s not what I saw? That you had nothing to do with her? Juan says yeah, that’s right! She slaps him across the face and says, “How could you do this? We were going to get married tomorrow! Why did you destroy my life this way?” Juan tries to tell her he was drugged, but she’s not buying it. How does he think she would believe something as crazy as this story he’s making up? She says everything they had is now over. She doesn’t believe in his love. He tells her to be careful with her words, that their love doesn’t deserve this. Sofia says it’s she that doesn’t deserve this betrayal, but she’s going to go on with her life like her father taught her. She tells him to get out and never come looking for her again. He says he’ll never leave her, she begs him that if he ever loved her to just leave her, he destroyed her life and all her illusions, just leave her in peace, all she has left of him are her girls. Juan says he can’t give her up, she says he has to, he’s hurt her in the worst of ways. She tells him to get out again, and he says for now he will, but just to be clear, he’ll never give her up, he’s a part of her. He swears to La Virgen that he’s not lying – she screams for him to get out. Crying, she asks how she’ll forget, Juan was her whole life. She asks G-d for help.

Juan rides through the enchanted forest screaming like an animal and arrives at Libia’s grave, to ask for her help yet again. Weird thing is he must’ve stopped with Capricho at Ciudad Serdan’s local Dunkin’ Donuts because he’s brought a concha to her grave. Juan says he can’t take it anymore, and he’s going to find out what happened one way or another. Libia’s magical flower glows.

Sofia arrives back in her room, and sits on her bed in the dark. Crabi, lurking behind her, turns on the light and tells Sofia she’s been waiting for her. Uh oh, this cannot be good, and Sofia knows it. Mommy Dearest asks how Sofia how her bachelorette party was. Sofia asks why Crabs is asking if she already knows what happened, and why does Gabi want to make her suffer more. No, says Gabi, I don’t want to make you suffer, I just want to confirm that what I heard was true, that you really found Juan in bed with Root. Sofia says yes, it’s true, and she’s sure Gabi is pleased by that, and that her curse on Sofia has come true. Gabi says she’s not happy, she’s just satisfied, and it just goes to prove once more that mothers are never wrong. Gabs says G-d is punishing Sofia for disobeying and going against her, all for a worthless man like Juan, but that in the end, Sofia deserves what happened. And also, Gabi says, how curious that Sofia is nothing at all like Gabi. Sofia says, no, you’re wrong, now we’re a lot alike, first Jose Robles Reyes despised Gabi, and now his son betrays Sofia. (I honestly thought she was going to use the Root slept with both of our husbands parallel which I would think would’ve had more impact on Gabi.) Gabi turns and says now Sofia has to think about vengeance. Sofia says how, figure out how to kill Juan, like Gabi did with Jose? Sofia wants to know how Gabi convinced Ricardo Uribe to kill Juan’s parents. Gabi says Sofia has no right, Sofia says yes she does because she and her sisters have been the victims of Gabi’s abuses and mistakes their whole lives, and they don’t want to pay any longer for what Gabi is guilty of. Gabi asks, doesn’t Sofia have a heart? Sofia says, yeah, that’s right, I have no heart, it was just stolen from me tonight. Sofia says that Root is responsible for destroying her life. Gabi says don’t blame Root for Juan’s weakness. Sofia wants to know why Gabi’s always defending Root, Sofia thinks maybe it’s because Root is so much like Gabi, and that maybe Gabi wishes Root was her daughter instead. Gabi says she admires Root’s strength. Sofia says that Root’s strength is nothing more than cruelty – Gabi turns to leave. Sofia says it’s a shame Gabi admires Root, doesn’t Gabi understand that she’s creating a “cuervo” (a crow) that will scratch her eyes out? Gabi thinks Sofia is just saying stupid things. Sofia says no, it’s not stupid, Root is betraying you and you don’t even suspect it! Now Gabi wants to know what she’s talking about, but Sofia changes her mind and says she’s not going to tell her, it will destroy Gabi’s heart. Sofia tells Gabi to ask Root, if Root is so honest and true. But Root really is just like Gabi. Sofia says that she is not the only one that Root has betrayed with the man she loves. Gabi is slightly impactada and just might be catchin’ on! Woo Hoo!

Franco is tucking Ojitos (as he calls Oscar) into his bed, along with his satin heart pillow that Jimena gave him. Franco tells Oscar not to worry, he’s going to go look for Juan, when Juan comes jingling into the room. They ask if he’s spoken to Sofia. He says, yes, but she doesn’t believe him and doesn’t want to see him. It doesn’t matter what he says, she only believes what her eyes saw. He says she looked at him like he was a cheater, but he’s not capable of that. Oscar says it’s just like Juan told him, don’t lose hope or faith. Juan’s like, what hope, what faith? Sophia will only believe what she’s seen. Franco tells Juan to convince Sofia with his love and devotion, they are the best weapons he has to convince the woman he loves.

Back in Sofia’s room, Gabi is telling Sofia not to try to make her doubt Root, Sofia is just saying these things because she can’t stand Root. But Gabi’s not going to listen to her. Gabi tells Sofia goodnight, and to enjoy her pain. Jeez, g’night ma!

Root is in her room replaying the scene in her head when Sofia found her in bed with Juan. She’s thrilled that she finally got revenge on Sofia. She thinks Sofia will never forgive Juan, and that they’ll never be happy. She’s beaten Sofia.

Oscar is on the floor doing his exercises with the boys and he thanks Juan for continuing to help him even though Juan is suffering. Juan says one thing has nothing to do with the other. Franco asks what Juan’s going to do about Sofia, they were supposed to be married this morning.

Juan walks into the church and is imagining Sofia there, in her wedding dress, waiting for him to marry her. Juan’s mad at G-d and does his own male version of Nancy Kerrigan’s “Why?” He says G-d knows that he’s innocent, G-d saw everything that happened, G-d knows he’s a one woman man like his father was, and that woman is Sofia.

Cut to Sofia’s wedding dress, lying on her bed. She picks it up and holds it, crying. Now Sofia’s imagining Juan, in his Good Humor Mariachi wedding duds, waiting for her in the church. She imagines them kneeling at the altar, then just as they’re about to kiss, Juan disappears, leaving Sofia alone at the altar. Back to reality, Sofia asks why Juan abandoned her, why did he cheat? Why, why, why????

Back in the church, Juan’s yelling, cursing and destroying flowers. Paddy Tad walks in and kneels down beside Juan. Over and over again Juan says he’s innocent. Pad T says he believes him. Juan says he can’t even explain to himself what happened. (This was Juan’s same line when they couldn’t figure out what happened to the baby after he came back from voodoo jungle, right?) Pad says even though right now Juan has no explanation for what happened, they have to find one – they have to find the truth. Juan swears on the memory of his parents and his sister that he’s innocent, he’s not guilty of what he’s being accused of. (He really seems more busted up over this than he did when they all accused him of running off with the baby!) Juan Clinton is crying, he had nothing to do “with that woman”. Absolutely nothing. He has to convince Sofia – he’s not capable of this.

Previews: Root rubs it in Sofia’s face that she’s lost Juan. Juan says it’s not over until the fat lady sings, and if it’s the last thing he does, Sofia will listen to what he has to say.

Labels: Fuego