Saturday, February 14, 2009

Las Tontas no Van - Fri the 13th - Male things come in little paquetes....

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

We open with Candi tearing poor Ceci a new one for “deceiving” her and not really being her friend, but wanting “something else” from her. Ceci begs her not to reject her in that way but as others have said, Candi seems to be enlightened about everything except herself.

To Barbara’s credit, she apparently hears the conversation, or at least knows what it’s about so she offers to talk to Candi and tells her that Ceci should have been honest but that doesn’t mean she’s not a friend and that she deserves to be understood, she is in love and didn‘t mean to hurt her. Ummm, yeah, Candi. Score one for Barb for a change.

Apparently Zamora has a girlfriend. I never heard her mentioned before. She sees the guys “observing” two lovely ladies’ bare legs and chews them out for this. Zamora begs his Mariquita not to be jealous but she storms off.

Pau wants to take Roci out, but she wants to be with her friends and asks if they can come too. Abue assume of course and tells them yes, but our Pau is having none of that, and prefers instead to leave Roci with the kids. Abue knows how to tough love them into obeying, a skill that Pau admires, sort of. Pau wipes "kid slime" off of her hands and clearly finds the younger ones filthy. Abue offers her handkerchief in case Pau feels like vomiting, which she promptly throws on the ground and the result is Pau calling Greg common and Greg calling Pau a pig.

Chayo and Candi are remarking on the success of the institute when a troubled Santi enters and asks to be alone with Candi. He shows her the “ caveman like” painting of her oh so native looking face making fun and informing her that her sister came to see him about forming an alliance to keep her away from Pato. Santi shares that he actually envies that guy. Why, because he has three. He has his wife who gives him everything at home, he has a lover who has his child and whom he visits, and then miraculously he has now got the love who has been resuscitated from the dead! Lucky guy he has a harem! Yeah, I suppose when you put it that way…. Well Candi doesn’t quite agree and stomps on his foot.

This was my favortie part and I’m so excited that they didn’t seem to edit this out, considering Caca makes the cutting room floor. The three kids are trying to figure out how babies are born, and they all seem to recall at once, screaming VAGINA except for Beto, who really doesn’t know yet. Roci kindly fills him in though that it’s the part where babies are born. Chava says unless they are bigger then they are born through the door. OK, so they figured out where they are born, but they are stumped on how they get in there in the first place. Beto suggests that the Mom drinks a whole bean and it goes into her tummy and then it grows there. Chava says no it’s a seed that she grows. Regardless of how it gets in there, they recall again that they know it comes out through the VAGINA! This time Abue hears them and wants to know what craziness they are talking about. They tell her and she calls them pigs!

She runs in complaining about their insolence to Issy and Jaime who are planning for their wedding. Issy says to leave them be alone outside and not to worry about them. They can tell that she in interested in their preparations so they ask if she wants to help. She suggests that they decorate everything like ancient Rome, with columns and corniches and everyone in robes, well, the wedding pair thinks they hear the children and send her back out to check on them. Ha!

Candi goes to yell at Pato for using her picture but he is on the phone with a client asking how he likes the portrait on Amate paper . She waits for him to finish and then yells at him that with this little joke he’s started something because Ali went to see Santi about being an ally. Pato professes his love for her and his son again and she only says that it’s good if he loves his son because Chavo deserves to be surrounded by as many people who love him as possible.


We then go to Santi’s office, where he is attending a “gringa” who learned from the internet that he is highly recommended and trustworthy and so she came to Mexico for her surgery. She speaks English with a Spanish accent. But the funny thing is Santi actually speaks English with less of an accent. She wants her boobs and butt cheeks bigger, and lipo suction.


Charly and Lu are ice skating in a mall. Poor Charly wants more of what he got before, but Lu tells him they have to wait for a while.

Santi tells Lalo how excited he is that patients from the states are coming to him and that he’s gotten good reviews. He thinks this is a great stepping stone for him, and they remarks something about how insurance in the US doesn’t cover this, but it’s less expensive in Mexico.

Lalo is smoking because he’s upset and thinks Chayo has a lover because she’s been getting flowers all the time. Santi is impactado but the conversation doesn’t go much further because the Maritzka shows up to take him to her ultrasound appointment.


Arturo calls Gregi and wants to see her. He is calling her as a friend, but she wants him to apologize to Candi. He reminds her he's been good to her and she agrees he did help when her husband died. He says he's all alone and needs to speak to his friend. She agrees to meet him.

At the restaurant, Z&T agree to be Candi's exclusive models. She showers them with thankful kisses, which causes Tono to lose his cool and pass out on the floor.

Everything is happy happy at the doctor's as Mari and Santi see their little male blob for the first time. Santi is excited he might have a future America player.

Ceci goes to whine to Meno about her out of the closet experience. His response is to order two tequilas, and she promptly doubles.



Marissa is wallowing in her great fortune that her baby is going to be a boy and this is a fortuitous addition to her arsenal. Of course Santi loves her and he'll never leave them now, she says. It seems like she is talking to herself, but actually Raul is there helping her with some flowers.

Arturo meets Gregoria and he is very polite and for our benefit recites how he is appreciative of her friendship, she's the only female friend he has, in fact he really has no friends anymore. He doesn't tell his wife he talks to her though, because "she's so jealous". That's a guy's excuse for not being strong enough to handle a woman's emotions when she's unhappy. But I digress...

Santi is with his hombre clan and they are goofing around and he mentions he's having a boy. They all congratulate him as he says yeah, except it's with a woman I don't love. Doh, enter Raul, less than enthused to hear his sister spoken of in this regard. Uh yeah, and the other buddies are all too happy to depart to allow them to work this out alone. Heh, I'd want out of there too.

Ok here's the weird thing. How many of you have ever done this, shown up to some friend's house who you think happens to like your boyfriend with your ultrasound pictures in hand and show off your little alien seed? Well, we know why she does it, but it's just weird. Candi congratulates her, but thinks maybe she shouldn't be the Madrina afterall. Marissa says, why, Because you are in love with my boyfriend and wish this baby was yours? Busted.

Uh yeah, and if she was would she tell? Doubtful. As I suspected, Candi says no, I don't want to have your boyfriend's child. I tell all my girlfriends this as a matter of course. They discuss this for a bit and Mari tells her she's talking very honestly to her. Before she leaves she utters the words of doom that "if anything happens to me, you would make the best Mom for my child, trust me." Argh, I'm hearing clanging of the chains of the telenovela Gods. Sigh. Chava wonders if Rocio's Dad can have two girlfriends. He gets mad when Candi ignores his question and shoves eggs down his throat. Yeah, that would irritate me too.

Raul busts a nut over Santiago's perceived disrespect of Mari. Santi at least is apologetic that he's in love with another woman he's goign to lose over all this. A buddy tried to intervene telling him Raul doesn't know lost love, but oooooh that makes it worse, as Raul of course lost his pregnant wife. Duh.


Arturo expresses regret that he didn't get to know Clemente better. Gregi is perplexed because Clem was his employee and went wherever he did. Art says yes, but I was the boss and he was merely an employee. Nice. Accordingly, Gregi thinks she should be going anyway, she's not usually away from home this late and she doesn't like that his wife doesn't know they meet, and she worries what others might think. Art tells her nothing is her fault and he'll explain if there is ever a problem. They argue about the morals of a chilango (Mexico City dweller) vs. those of a tapatia (Guadalajaran). He begs her to finish her food and not leave.

So as the cowards file out, Santi continues to explain to Raul that even though he doesn't really love Mari, she's a good woman and he'll do right by her etc. Raul warns him if anything happens to his sister, Santi'll answer to him.

At the big house, the maid asks for money for the food, the kids already ate breakfast, and Santi promises his ma he'll talk to her. She wants to know how he's inviting to the wedding with him. he tells her to invite whoever she wants. He asks if Mari came and showed her the ultrasound. he says the baby has a package just like his Pa, and it will be a little America player, a boy. Roci doesn't like boys and would rather a sister.

Meno has a chat with Candi over her display with Ceci, but she doesn't want to talk about that so he says ok let's talk about Mari instead because Chava said that you like her boyfriend. They rehash this and he tells her she can't dare let the plastic doc get married without telling him how she feels.....

Ok, now this is just weird. Ali is shoving pineapple into a sleeping Pato's mouth. Turn's out she's decided to try and please him with breakfast in bed, a bath, and well, some funny business. He accepts all this but still tells her he doesn't love her and he still loves Candi and she should know better, and she doesn't really want him to lie. Uh, yeah buddy, I think she does. She wouldn't still be with you otherwise. I still felt bad for Ali, because he's "saying" honest things, but he's still not leaving her, so what the heck. He should just abandon her already and get it over with if he's so damn honest. OK, there I said it. He even sniffed his juice as if it may have been poisoned.

Santi goes to see Candi and wants to apologize for attacking her about the photo. She says she'll accept if he admits a few things, like he's jealous of Pato, and other things. In the end she still doesn't forgive. This is essentially the same banter they always have.

We get a nice love scene of non-lovers to Kany Garcia - Todo Basta

Como deseaba llenar mi mundo inperfecto
lograste mostrar la manera de hacerlo peqeño
ahora necesito espacio para darme más
en el cuando llegas tú todo basta
Desde muy pequeña tuve tanta fuerza
dificil de controlarla en diferencias
al borde de una locura entre gordura y ambicion
en ese instante entras tú todo basta
(Coros)
Todo basta cuando me entregas caricias nuevas
todo es nada Todo sobra si no estas
te vas si te escapas de ti para hacerme feliz
tan solo faltas tú todo basta
No he sido una fiel creyente de promesas

de esa que ven amores a lo eterno
tampoco veia lo tierno como una gran virtud
hasta que apreces tú todo basta
(Coros)
Todo basta cuando me entregas caricias nuevas
todo es nada todo sobra si no estas di te vas
si te escapas de ti para hacerme feliz
tan solo faltas tú todo basta.

At Santi's Senos are Us, a woman who apparently has been defrauded by her surgeon is sick for having had surgery to remove part of her breasts. Santiago tends to her immediately as an emergency patient and apologizes to Natalie who is watching that she'll have to wait. Well she freaks out and decides it might be more expensive in the US but she doesn't want to end up like that woman and leaves. Horty tries to talk her out of it, but it doesn't work.

Mari is with Candi and makes fun of her for fleeing from Pato all the time. She denies it, but of course Pato calls and Candi doesn't want to talk to him. Mari says see you are fleeing him because you are in love with Santi. You know Pato loves you and won't leave you alone until he gets you.

Pat deals it hard to Ali before he leaves to see Candi.

Santi, unlike most plastic surgeons, promises yet another person he won't charge for his services to help her mother. The duaghter is grateful of course.

Lulu stops Candi on her way out and makes her go down to parking even though she has no car.

She gets down there and who is there but Pato with about 3 dozen ro so red roses professing his love to her. He tells her her sister isn't her problem it's his. Santi happens to be here at the same time and hears this profession of love. He doesn't take it well and throws a bucket of water in the general area of Pato's paquete, saying he's a little hot and needed to cool down so, now he should be cooler. Pato looks impactado and we won't learn if he has shrinkage until next time.

Labels:


Comments:
Wow...red ink for Valentine's Day. Pretty romantic Kris! You're sure right about Candy. She's enlightened for other people but when it comes to herself...pure Neanderthal.

Hope Pau's little vomit doesn't mean she's pregnant!
 

Ha ha ha!!! Dang you're funny. You had me howling with VAGINA. I missed the first half because I was watching the Sharks get their butts whipped by Buffalo, boo hoo. I was thinking Hombre was starting to sound a lot like Kris, turns out it was you writing after all. Since when did Sven have a girlfriend? Maybe we rarely see them because they are constantly changing. Uh oh JudyB, would Pau have morning sickness so quickly? Hard to believe a "professional businesswoman" (as Pau loves to keep telling everyone) would let herself get preggers.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Can't wait to read the rest of your recap Kris.
 

Love what I've read of the recap Kris ;)

I also hope Pau's not pregnant (and it would be too soon for symptoms, but TNs are not known for preserving reality as Marissa started showing in no time at all). I did get the impression that it had less to do with a physical need to vomit than her attitude towards the kids and Greg being a housewife who longed to be a teacher once upon a time. I think that's what Greg was hinting at, but I could be wrong.
 

Ok, I got it all up there. Hope you all had a wonderful Valentine's weekend. Mine was fine.

Yes, actually I think Magarita is right, Greg teased Pau about vomiting only because she seemed so repulsed by the children touching her. I'm not seeing a pregnancy there. 'Course one never really knows...
 

Well, saucy one...senos 'r us and paquete shrinkage!..you were on a roll.

Really enjoyed the link to the amate paper site. Very interesting. The way the designs were cut without drawing first was amazing. Learn something new every day on this site...hopefully no "brain shrinkage". Thanks Kris.
 

I felt sorry for Alicia. Pat took advantage of her, gets dressed and gives her an "I told you I loved Candi". Hmm,he was NOT talking like that during his bath. He fits the profile of men that Candi's blabbing about all the time. Marissa was wierd but trying to save her relationship. She and Alicia have something in common. The red ink was fun for Valentine's , and your wit and comments were great. Thanks!
Liena, FL
 

Thanks for the Amate paper link, that was cool, also the words of Todo Basta, what a beautiful song.

I'm confused about Gregoria and Arturo's relationship. Since when are they friends? Art was always snobby and rude to Clemente, Gregoria and the daughters. I guess this is where we have to take the telenovela leap of faith, eh?

Another freebie from Santi? The precursor to another PSA no doubt. And whatever happened to Santi's other charity case, Renata the transsexual?

Great title Kris, you naughty girl, and a scathingly funny recap. Thanks!
 

Thanks, Kris, for a very funny and complete recap.

I also thought it was amusing that Natalie (the American girl wanting plastic surgery) spoke English with more of an accent than Santi. Also, she spoke Spanish slowly and with an overdone accent, just like the American or English characters in so many other novelas (Mister James in Destilando, John something in Pasion), but then totally understood Santi's mile a minute Spanish. They always speak badly (to show they're American), but then never seem to have to ask anyone to slow down, which I would definitely have to do.

It looks as if we're entering into full-blown Santi vs. Pat for Candy's affection, which is Act Two of our little play.

Thanks for pointing out that part about Mari saying if anything happened to her, Candy would be the best mother for the little one (I totally missed that part), and I agree that's pretty ominous when someone says that in a telenovela.
 

Thanks so much for posting this amazing recap over the holiday weekend with colors, vocabulary, Amate paper site was so great.

I was dancing at our annual merengue fiesta of the amigos de la musica group. Nearly 100 people showed up in a tiny house in Abq that sports a great wood floor for dancing. I even filled my house with roses and chocolate, two things Willa cannot share in but got her a bone to enjoy instead. A weekend of treats for everyone.

I wonder about the ring of doom that is intended by Marissa's pep talk about Candi's exemplar mothering skills. We know some characters have to go away to get to a resolution at the end but which ones. Pato is being selfish with Ali, whom I don't like at all, but I hate to see anyone used so shamelessly as he uses her. I also dislike seeing someone so desperate that they will take the abuse the way she does with the hurt me, hurt me but don't leave me. Ickkk. She does have a lot of parallels with Marissa. Marissa also seems to jump into the trap that if Santi is more and more entrapped with the hijo with his paquete promising a tremendous futbal future, and fatherly feelings translating to love for her, I think she has a big disappointment coming but then back to her dour predicition that if anything happens to her.... pretty effective plot devices used here. I don't get the Arturo contrived affection bit with Gregoria either, Cap'n Sharkebait.
 

Yeah, I felt bad for Alicia too, it does hurt to see folks just blatantly getting so walked on. I do have to remind myself, though, that she reaps what she sows, he keeps telling her he doesn't want her.

But in this case, like I said, HE should be the better man and walk away from her instead of taking what she gives but then giving nothing when she wants to take. I have no respect for Pato. Even if he is good with the boys. It's weird because they painted Santi out to be the womanizer at the beginning, but we see that it's now sort of the opposite.

Yeah I guess I just have a problem with a guy who says he's so in love with one woman but then sleeps with another anyway. Call me crazy...
 

Thank you, Kris, for the name of the song by Kany Garcia and the lyrics. I absolutely love it. I may not be learning Spanish by watching Tontas and CCEA as I had hoped, but I sure have gained a new love for Latin music. Gracias!

Violet
 

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