Caray, Caray!

Well, there are more lessons than just those two but we'll figure the rest out for ourselves.

From last night courtesy of Paula:
Outside Candy’s house, Gregoria, Alicia, and Candy have a lovely mother-daughter chat.
Alicia: Leave my husband alone or we’ll take your son.
Candy: He has amante, 2 sons, now me.
Alicia: He belongs to me.
Candy: You’re stupid!
Alicia: Look who's talking!

Tonight:
Over at the big house basement Charlie lounges on his mattress while Lucia reads a romantic tale to him, "I'll love you and be with you forever." Santi sneaks downstairs and eavesdrops on the romantic narrative. No Puede Ser!! Whew, he's relieved to discover they are just reading and not getting it on. Nevertheless the kids get scolded and after tonight Charlie must return home to his worried papa.

Next morning Santi and Charlie have a man to man talk. Charlie thinks if he accepts his father is gay then something might happen to him. Santi makes boogie man noises and tells Charlie to grow up, he's educated and lives in modern times. Fine then, Charlie says, he'll accept his dad is gay but he won't live with him.

Candy visits Patricio's office with a long tube in her hands. She sneaks into Pat's office and when he gets to work he's surprised to see Candy and a big sign above his desk, "Ask my forgiveness". He's incredulous, why should he? "You destroyed my life!" he reasons. They argue about who committed the greater treachery against the other and Candy insists she'll persecute him until he begs her forgiveness.

Speaking of treachery, Pilar the blackmailing patient is awake and Santi inspects her bubis and proclaims the operation was a success. She's delighted, she doesn't even feel any pain! But wait, she checks out her bubis and cries there's been a mistake, she ordered grapefruits and she's looking at a couple of raisins! She then notices there was no liposuction or butt implants. In typical telenovela fashion she admits she didn't have any money so she blackmailed him into operating on her by lying that he molested her and now he tricked her, boo hoo. Santi's nurse pulls a recorder out of her pocket and Santi holds it up. Busted, her entire confession is on tape! I still don't know why this random story line was included in the show.

Barbara and Ceci give Chayo some professional advice regarding her marriage to Eduardo, "Men never change." Babs tells Ceci that Chayo is just trying to fight for her marriage. Ceci asks how, by polishing the horns that adorn his head? (Referring to the saying poner cuernos or putting the horns on someone, i.e. cuckolding them.)

Pat refuses to apologize and Candy follows him downstairs yammering he'd better apologize blah blah blah. He says "You first". The guard's boom box is playing 'their' song ("Vivir sin aire" by Maná) and Candy sings along "But I can't, I feel like I'm dying, I'm suffocating without your love." Pat tries to turn the song off, she jumps in his way, they glare at each other with barely restrained emotion.

Now we have a silly and rather long scene with Hortensia in Santi's office. In short she tries to talk him out of seeing his next patient. She made the appointment over the phone but now that she sees the patient she's creeped out. Santi scolds her for being prejudiced, he treats all people no matter their physical appearance.

Horti escorts the patient in, a Miss or Mrs. Renata Hidalgo Sanchez, and we se that Ms. Sanchez is a transsexual.

Rocio and Marissa are having lunch out. Rocio announces she's number one in class and Marissa says in that case she has a surprise for her. Ta da, it's Marissa's ultrasound! The baby will be a perfect little boy just like Santi wants. Poor Rocio gets thoughtful and sad and thinks dad won't love her anymore. Marissa comforts Rocio by letting Rocio kiss her heavily made up face and preggy belly. Lunch with Marissa sucks.

Ding dong, Meño's household is getting a surprise visit from none other than Charlie's mom Laura. She bitches at Candy that Charlie is missing and it's all Meño's fault. She admits to Candy that she told Charlie his dad is gay. Candy tells Laura that in fact Charlie's disappearance is Laura's fault, not Meño's. Meño comes downstairs and tells Laura thanks to her his relationship with Charlie is lost. Laura spits back that if something happens to Charlie Meño will regret it. Duh.

Santi confirms that Renata is a transsexual and assumes she's consulting with him about a botched surgery. Renata corrects him, she didn't have surgery, she had oil injections in her bubis, butt and hips. (Yikes!) She couldn't afford plastic surgery so she went the cheap route and it all went horribly wrong and now she has many lumps in her bubis and her butt is terrible. Can Santi help her? He looks concerned and calls Horty to prepare the examination room.

In our PSA of the night Santi shares the bad news with Renata, since the oil was injected in numerous places it has traveled throughout her body. If he tries to remove the oil from her body she won't have any muscles under her skin. It's a very serious situation because the oil can affect her internal organs and her immune system. Renata cries that she doesn't want to die. Santi recommends that she consult an internal doctor but also her problem transcends the physical. He has a friend on the next floor who runs an institute for women. They have a psychologist and he's sure they can help Renata. They are altruistic and he can talk to them so money won't be a problem.

Meño and Laura's bickering is interrupted by the doorbell. It's Santi come to talk to Candy about his patient who was ruined by a charletan. He meets the rude and insulting Laura and reveals to the group that Charlie is fine and at his house. They all argue about Charlie. Laura wants him with her, the others think he should reflect on being more accepting of Meño. Santi starts singing some little song about Señor Patiño that I totally did not get. Meño finally puts his foot down, they will leave the kid with Santi so the doctor can work on Charlie's prejudices.

Back at the big house an understanding Lucia tries to help Charlie deal with the anger inside him. Santi shows up and drags Charlie and his duffel bag off to some secret location that Lucia doesn't get to know about.

Later that night Jaime and Isabel sing songs to a delighted Rocio. Jaime promises to give Rocio piano lessons and she asks if she can call him grandpa. Why are the happy scenes so short?

Santi's secret location turns out to be the club de abandonados. Drinks are served (Charlie gets milk) and the discussion turns to homosexuality, what causes it, how the guys deal with it, etc. Raul has a lot of gay friends, one abandonado says gays give him hives, Santi says homosexuals are just like anyone else. Charlie jumps up and shouts he can't stand them and doesn't want them near him! So much for mature conversation.

Over at Meño's place Pat visits Chava and brings him an arsenal of toy guns. Chava announces he likes Patricio as his dad and he's looking forward to a lot of gifts just like Beto gets. He says he would also like Santiago as a dad. Pat teases him and declares war unless he's the number 1 dad. Chava reconsiders and says since he wants Rocio as his novia then it won't work for Santi to be his dad so Pat is definitely the number 1 and only dad. Chava listens to Pat's heart and pronounces it good, then he shoots Pat in the butt with a ping pong ball.

Tha abandonados leave and Santi tells Charlie he's really disappointed in him for being so discriminatory. Does Charlie like Freddie Mercury? Elton John? Andy Warhol? (Charlie's wearing a Warhol t-shirt.) Well guess what, all gay. He instructs Charlie to spend the night at the apartment and reflect on his attitude, but hands off the niece and the booze!

Pat brags to Candy that Chava says he has a good heart. His son is marvelous...and Candy kept Chava from him all this time. Candy responds "why did you cheat on me with Soledad?" Again with the argument about who screwed whom and mutual refusal to apologize. Pat yells "I hate you I hate you I hate you I love you with all my heart." Candy bares her teeth and cries. Again the argument. She wants a divorce. He demands an apology. She knows about all his betrayals, Soledad, Alicia at his bachelor party, everything! She saved herself for a man with no heart. "Because you stole it!" he yells at her as she retreats into the house.

Back inside Candy complains to Meño that she's got her own problems yet she hears about relationship problems all day at work and she's sick of it. Meño is the sweetest guy ever, he's dealing with his own problems and all he can think about is making Candy feel better which he does. "Fuera Dolor!" She's a pain but she loves her uncle that's for sure.

Next morning Santi and Candy regroup and he tells her Charlie is staying at the bachelor pad apartment.

Raul teases Marissa about her growing belly. She nastily comments she'll end up like Lulu, then when she loses weight she'll look like a Shar Pei. (She already looks like a Boxer with Poodle ears so a Shar Pei's not such a stretch.) She cries to Raul about Santi not loving her then changes the subject to her wedding, she and Santi will make a beautiful couple. Whatever crazy lady.

Santi gives Candy the address and says she seems sad. She admits she had it out with Pat last night and he told her he hates her and loves her. She's afraid that Alicia will put it in Pat's head to take Chava away from her. Suddenly Santi's cell phone rings and who could it be but Pat wanting to get together for coffee, they need to talk. Santi agrees without letting Candy know who's on the phone. As he leaves he tells Candy it shatters him that Pat has told her he loves her.

Candy bites her lip and Pat sits in his car and sniffles while listening to Maná.

The ladies of the institute are sitting around wondering where Candy is, Ceci says it's empty without her. A meek-looking bespectacled man comes in and the girls frighten him with their attentiveness. Babs convinces him to have a seat and wait for Candy who will arrive shortly. He wrings his hands.

Pat asks since Santi lied about his friendship with Candy is there anything else to their relationship? Nope, just friends, answers Santi unconvincingly. Pat asks are there any other lies? Santi admits that the clown Chivic Chivi was Candy. And there's more, the nurse in his office? That was Candy. The secretary with the low voice, that was Candy too. Santi says Candy did all the hiding because she was afraid that Patricio would try to take her kid away from her. Patricio looks thoughtful and scary music plays.

Back at the institute nervous man tries to leave but three beautiful customers come in talking about how great the institute is so he decides to stay a little longer. Then they make him feel uncomfortable by saying he's a spy for their husbands so he changes his mind and tries to leave but Candy comes in and asks him how things are going with his wife. OK I recognize him now, he's the wimp from the restaurant. His wife is that bitchy lady and her name is Agatha and things are very bad at home.

Pat tells Santi he's not proud of what he did but at least he didn't leave like Candy did. Santi says yes Pato did leave the moment he decided to sleep with Candy's sister Alicia. Santiago's advice to Pat is to forget her, to leave and go far from Guadalajara and start a new life, it would be best for both of them. Nice try Santi.

Tomorrow: Santi tells Candy he loves her then he kisses her. Pato, stupidly dressed like a clown, sees them and gets pissed off.

Labels: Tontas