Caray, Caray!

From last night: There is a hubbub in the restaurant and slap-fest in the kitchen. Lulu thinks Eduardo is Don Juan Tenorio but Chayo's not impressed and gives him a purse whack. If he gets to see women when he wants then she can see guys when she wants!

It's the wedding day and everyone is present and dressed to the nines. The Abandonados are drinking, Jaime is nervous and it looks like his son (and a pal) showed up after all. The bride is lovely and her son his hot hot hot. Bigger-than-life size cut-outs of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band silently observe the festivities.

Hola mi amorrrrr! Alicia surprises Pato at the office. She shows him a necklace she'd like to have. "Yes, my little lice, whatever you want" he sighs. She bounds out of the office like a fiendish energizer bunny and he puts his face in his hands.

The rickety dude who's performing the wedding says the union is much more serious than what's on paper. They're going to celebrate a natural union, a zoological union (Que??? chimes the crowd), an animal union where the panther of the suburbs is marrying the dinosaur of Coyoacán. (Que?? chimes the recapper.) He sprinkles them with a wet flower and pronounces them marido y mujer.

Marissa pulls Candy and Santi aside to extract a promise from them, she wants them to forget each other for a bunch of good reasons. Santi wants to discuss it in private with Marissa but Candy pipes up "I promise!", so Santi promises too and they all three toast. Weird. When Mari goes to play with the kids Santi tells Candy he knows she had her fingers crossed.

The kids discuss grandparents and Chava wonders, if Beto's abuelo is Pat's dad then why isn't he Chava's abuelo too? Good question.

Rickety dude limps through the kitchen pretending to snoopervise but it's an excuse to drink all the booze, rub against Tina and stuff food in his pockets. Donato offers to pack him a lunch (itacate = packed lunch) but the dude prefers to cram his pockets and cheeks with food. Tina's pissed.

Santi tries to make a toast but rickety drunk dude gropes Isa and calles her his panther. He flashes the peace sign as Lalo leads our obligatory drunk wedding guest away.

Santi makes his toast and semi-graciously welcomes Jaime into the family.

Meanwhile Charly's new "friend" German heaves pebbles at Charly and lures him away from the crowd. He's got the goods and I think his plan is for Charly to buy the mota and then share the profits. Doesn't sound like the best plan to me. Good luck Charly.

Pato admits to his crabby mom that dad visited him for a couple of days and of course she thinks dad's got a lover. Whatever, she's here to visit Dr. Plastico and she heard Candy's alive. Pato confirms it and he manages to put a big smile on Crabby's face, she's got two grandsons!

The newlyweds kiss and celebrate and are ready to leave for their honeymoon. Isa is used to micro-managing the household and tries to give Santi detailed instructions on everything. She even thinks Marissa should stick around to help to see if she's up to running the household. Isa still doesn't think Mari's the one for Santi but it's too late for Candy.

Drunk rickety dude stumbles through their goodbyes, "make love not war, stop the war in Vietnam." I think I just figured out where Charly could get better drugs.

Santi tucks Lucia into bed VERY TIGHTLY. She has a question, has he ever (pretends to hold a joint and puffs)? He freaks until she assures him she's not smoking, but he knows how it is, right? This gives him the opportunity to give her a long PSA against drugs and peer pressure. Meanwhile Rocio's in a pipi holding pattern on the pot waiting for papa to provide the missing papel.

Charly meets German to receive the goods. He tells the guy he doesn't smoke pot he just wants to make some money, but before he knows it Charly's going to German's house to meet some girls and German's got some good s**t too.


Candy lolls around on her bed stuffing her face with popcorn and thinking she can't forget either Santi or Pato. Deja vu anyone? Mom in a flannel nightgown and cap joins her and has something to say that she's been wanting to share for some time now. She wants Candy to forgive her sister; Al is very unstable and will try to kill herself if Pato leaves her. I'm not sure what that has to do with Candy forgiving Al but Greg seems certain.

Several quick scenes at the Instituto, Candy's apple computer, Ceci wistfully watches Candy, Barb gets into an elevator and some guy, one of the Abandonados I think, joins her. He flirts but she cuts him short, she's been married twice, had lots of guys and he's not her type. Suddenly the elevator lurches and the lights go out. Barb freaks and the guy tries to calm her, somehow they both end up with flashlights. When the lights go back on her shirt is unbuttoned and his is off so he can fan her with it. "Thank you" she cries as she hugs him. The elevator doors open and Lulu gets an eyeful of Barb hugging the half naked guy. He hands Barb his card and quickly exits for his appointment with Dr. Plastico.

Lulu is impressed, she wants to be just like Barb. "What, claustrophobic?" asks Barb. "No, liberated" gushes Lulu as Barb quickly zips up her blouse.

Gregoria is mopping the floor at home when she receives a surprise guest, Pato's mom Margarita. Arturo told her everything (Greg gasps), that Candy is alive (Greg is relieved) and she has a grandkid. Margarita kisses Chava's photograph.

Isa calls Santi from her honeymoon to say she absolutely knows she is needed at home. I gather this isn't the first time she has called. Some honeymoon.

Charly and German talk about the best place for him to sell his mota, and that would be school of course. German comments how much the little blonde liked Charly, he used a condom, right? Because last year she got pregnant and it cost German some dough to get rid of the kid. Charly's impactado, she was his girlfriend? The friend keeps pressing, "were you careful, you were careful, right?" Charly reluctantly lies that he was. Oh dear.

Chava meets his new abuela and happily gives her a kiss and calls her Abi. Abi comments how much Chava looks like Arturo, he's got his eyes, doesn't he? Greg lies and says she hasn't seen Art's eyes. She needs a cup of tea.

Abi makes Chava sit on her lap and they discuss Soccer teams. Greg keeps pulling Chava away from abuela Abi and Abi pulls him away from abuela Gogo.

Santi is in consultation with his pal when a sobbing Hortensia tells him his novia called to summon him to the church so they can discuss the final details of their wedding, boo hoo. Santi's friend tries to console Horty by calling her baby baby baby and saying "Call me" in English. Then, in a sort of Spanglish he reminds Santi he doesn't love Marissa and it's a mistake to marry her.

Ceci fears that Candy is working too hard and Candy admits she's doing it to keep her mind off Santi. "You're anesthetizing yourself," Ceci observes.

Now we have a romantic Kany Garcia song (Hoy ya me voy amor) and some romantic flashbacks of Santi and Candy...he wipes dog crap in her hand, she wipes it on his face, they argue, they kiss, she cries, he consoles her, she tells him she's in love, Marissa announces she's very pregnant, Santi shows her the pendant. Back in the present she drops said pendant on the ground and vows she doesn't love him. Pato must have followed he because he picks it up a little later.

Meño waits for the elevator and Lulu joins him. She still wants to cure him even though he insists he's not sick. He escapes into the elevator not realizing he has just entered Lulu's most recent fantasy, love in the elevator a la Barb. Que barbara!

Candy's in the church praying again, she's confused and needs help getting Santi out of her head. She hears the wedding march play and Oh Crap she's in the same church where Santi and Mari are rehearsing! She quickly hides but Santi glimpses her. Mari hugs Santi as Candy and Santi gaze sadly at each other.

Charly's hangin with the homeys when Lucia strolls by. She loves him but she doesn't like him being around German and his bad business. Surprisingly she puts her foot down, if he sells drugs they're quits; she doesn't want to visit him in jail.

Instead of leaving the church Candy stands in her little corner praying loudly to the virgin, woman to woman.

Meño and Lulu burst out of the elevator. He tells her once and for all He Is Gay. Does she know what that is? She says it's a sickness, like alcoholism, and she's going to cure him. How many times are we going to beat this dead horse? Enough already!

Later on Lucia catches Charly flirting with her friends. "Charly!" she shrieks and boy howdy does he jump. One girl Daniela butts in, they're only buying a little pot, silly. This sets Lucia off, she says the silly people use drugs, the smart ones say no. She screams at Charly not to touch her, not to call her, he's dead to her!

Isa sneaks around her honeymoon hotel room with the phone. Jaimes sneaks behind her holding something. She doesn't see him so she tries to call home. Aha! Guess who's holding the unplugged phone? He scolds her for calling 17 times in the morning and 11 times after breakfast. OK fine, call home if you want to! And she does. At this rate they're going to beat Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney's short wedding record.

Lalo and Raul are practicing their hip moves again and frankly they are hilarious. Their ties are especially fetching.

Chayo tells her gal pals that Eduardo has promised to never see his girlfriend again. Ever. Candy advises her not to make up with him until she's sure. The telephone rings. Whoever do we suppose it is? Chayo's face falls, "You're a cynic!" she blurts into the phone. It was Eduardo's lover and she told Chayo to prepare herself because Eduardo is going to divorce Chayo and marry her. Candy does an about-face and advises Chayo that it could be a trick. "And what if it's not?" asks Chayo.

Lucia visits Meño at the restaurant. She needs to talk, she's not a gossip or a traitor but she's worried about Charly and Meño should know that Charly's bad. He wants to buy that damn moto so he's selling mota.

Tomorrow: Candy tells Santiago goodbye and they both cry. Lulu warns Candy to watch out for Marissa.

Labels: Tontas