Caray, Caray!

When last we left things, Vlad the Impregnator was getting fired by Anibal the decidedly non-impregnator. Flor got to hand him his box of personal effects (notebooks with "Vlad + Pris = 4 ever" written all over them, a picture of Pris with little hearts drawn all over it, and a battered copy of "Men Who Love Their Baby Mama Too Much"), which she refrained from hitting him about the head with.

Pris reports to Damian than Fer and Franco talked in the library. Damian wants some more concrete proof. Pris wonders if he wants Fer back, or wants revenge. Damian says, duh, I want her back so I can get revenge. Pris finally puts one and one together and figures out he doesn't love her. Damian's phone rings and it's Vlad. He asks Damian to find Priscila and tell her (Damian turns on the speakerphone) that her husband fired him and treated him like a dog and that if he didn't tell Anibal anything it's so that nothing bad happens to Pris or the baby, but she'd better not try to keep him away from his baby. He threatens that neither Ani or Pris know what he's capable of. He's making this call from a bathroom at Lactos. Damian tells him to meet him at his house and hangs up on him. Damian tells Pris to take care of getting evidence on Fer and he'll take care of Vlad.

Franco and Esteve sit outside having breakfast and talking about Franco needing to come up with a birth certificate so he can go through with the marriage to Erika. Esteve says he's either got to tell Erika his real name or "better still" he should use his fake ID to get a marriage certificate. Erika joins their chat. Esteve goes off to get her some coffee and Erika proposes that she and Franco go riding and then get something to eat. She's brought him the list of acceptable paperwork so that they can get their marriage license. Gardenia comes out of the house and very bitchily tells Erika and Franco that there will be no coffee as they've run out since nobody ever gets more of anything even when she tells them they're running out. Correct me if I'm wrong, but (a) isn't that her job? And (b) I thought she was told she'd be a "personal assistant" and not a maid? She runs off, in a hurry to get coffee. Erika, who misses clues about everything else, catches that Gardenia is jealous. She also supposes that Gardenia isn't looking forward to having Erika move in and start giving her orders. The boys could make a lot of money selling tickets to that catfight.

At the Grupo Lactos offices, Don Gonzalo arrives and tells Flor he's really happy to see her again. He apologizes for doubting her loyalty. Flor says it's good that everything's all cleared up. Don G blows some more smoke up her butt about what a great person she is. Yeah, considering she's not suing you for wrongful termination and that she's not asking for pay for the time she lost (or so I'd guess). Vlad the Impregnator comes into the lobby, calling to Don Gonzalo. Security is lousy around this place. Vlad explains he needs to talk directly to Don G, Anibal won't do. And Flor's so loyal and helpful she doesn't bother either calling security or telling Gonzo that Vlad has been fired.

Pris wonders if Vlad told Anibal that he's sterile and the baby can't be his. Damian doesn't think so. He thinks Vlad's too afraid of losing Pris and probably figures if he's nice enough to her, he'll end up with Pris. She wonders how Damian's going to control him, but Damian doesn't have a clue, as evidenced by him not answering the question and telling her not to worry about it. Pris says she's so worried and the only think she can think of is making him disappear. Damian thinks that if Vlad did say something about being the baby daddy, no one would believe him because they'd all think he's just angry about getting fired. Pris says he's obsessed with the baby. Damian tells her to shut it because she's like a magpie ("urraca") or a macaw ("guacamaya"; figuratively also means a loudmouth). Hm, so what animal does Damian most resemble?

Don Gonzalo tells someone over the phone that milk consumption is dropping because of the economy. Blah, blah, blah. Then he's done with the phone call--it was some kind of interview. Vlad tells Gonzo that he's been at the company for not very long. Flor barges in with coffees for both of them and tells Gonzo that Anibal asked for him. Gonzo says he'll talk to him when he's done with Vlad. She makes a face, but doesn't say anything and leaves. Vlad says that whether Gonzo knows it or not, Pris, his daughter-in-law…and now Fernanda busts in. She calls Vlad to her office. Gonzo wonders QTH is going on and Fer makes an excuse about the bank in Chicago needing to talk to him. They leave the room. Par for the course--Gonzo looks confused (the poor actor must see that written on his script five or six times a page). Gonzo says the boy looks worried, but his worries can't be more than Gonzo's…oh, what's happening with his Lili?

Fer ushers Vlad into her office and tells Flor to make sure they're not disturbed. Flor smirks as she shuts the door. Ha, ha, there's no call from the bank. Fer wants to know what Vlad was talking to Daddy Dumbest about.

Erika wonders where they should have their dinner with Fernanda and Damian. Erika says on the one hand, her house might be easier, but on the other hand, she really likes this house and besides, Steve is here. She cracks up laughing when Franco asks when the dinner is: "Oh, you silly, it's tonight! I can't believe you forgot! I even reminded you last night! Ji, ji, ji." I have to stop and detach my eyes from the roof of the sockets. They tend to get stuck there, especially when Erika's on screen. As they say where I'm from "love her to death, poor old thing." Erika says not to worry, she'll prepare the dinner and it will be delish. Franco takes a call from Florecita. Barbie wants to talk to him. Flor connects the call. Barbie summons him to her office, urgently. As she's not used to being disobeyed, she doesn't bother waiting for an answer. Erika looks slightly worried when Franco says he's needed at Lactos. Erika mimes scratching their horse ride and having trout ("trucha") out of an agenda. She says it's no big deal, she understands that without him Lactos and the Elizaldes would be lost.

Fernanda asks Vlad if he thinks Gonzo will take back Anibal's order after he's been fired. He brings up that they did it with Flor. Fer mocks him and says it's a little different--Flor's been with them for 16 years. She thinks that Vlad wasn't going to talk to Gonzo about work problems, she thinks Vlad was going to tell Gonzo that he and Pris are sleeping together.

Erika gives Franco a goodbye kiss, but Esteve and Lovely come over before she goes. Erika invites Lovely to her engagement dinner, but Esteve declines on her behalf and announces that Lovely is also engaged. She wants to invite Lovely and her fiancé, but Franco says that's not a good idea because Lovely's fiancé is Camilo. Erika looks upset.

Fernanda tells Vlad that she's not judging, but she's also not going to let him use his affair with Pris to hurt the family. Fernanda says his being there has hurt enough people and she's not letting him hurt anyone else, so he'd better go. Vlad tells her it was never his intention to hurt anyone. He leaves. Well, leaves her office at least.

Santiago has hired a local locksmith to get him into Dominga's old house by saying his girlfriend just forgot to give him the key. Santiago pays him a big wad of cash for the job. The guy goes off to make a key for the house. Inside everything is dusty and looks pretty thoroughly cleaned out. Santi sits on Aurora's old mattress and wonders where Aurora is.

She's trying to talk the Madre Superior into letting her take orders. And asking MS not to tell anyone she's there. MS is wondering who Aurora is running from, but all she says is "a man."

The locksmith gives Santi a key and leaves again. Santi starts checking all the drawers in a chest of drawers, then the armoire. He finds Aurora's old school notebook in the armoire and it seems to trigger something. He looks at the front cover.

The Madre Superior wonders if the person she's hiding from is the guy she was going to marry, Santiago Elizalde. There's a knock at the door and Hermana Fidelia enters. Hermana Fidelia is to get Aurora ready for retreat. MS advises her to pray for serenity and to pray for her soul for the choice she's making. After they leave MS wonders what separated the pair, since they looked so in love.

Erika comes over to confront Camilo about marrying Lovely. She admits she hasn't been able to stop thinking about him, because he's unforgettable--like cancer, like plague. She says she's sorry he's getting married, because Lovely, in her innocence thinks she's getting to heaven, when really he's more like "the tanned tour guide to hell." Oh, that was priceless. Should you care to render an identical insult in the original language, that would be "el guía de turistas bronceado del infierno." Erika says it makes her happy to know she's marrying Franco, and Camilo is finally paying the price for all his whoring around. Meanwhile, she's madly twirling a ring around on her finger. She works herself up into telling him she hates him, then slaps him across the face with the stone on the ring turned in, leaving a bloody scratch on his face.

Flor assures Fernanda that Vlad finally left, but he didn't talk to Gonzo. Franco shows up. He says he doesn't know if there's news, but he's been summoned by Evil Barbie. Flor lets EB know that Franco is here. Franco is surprised to realize that when Fernanda said "And when you're done could you stop by my office," what she really meant was, "The desk in my office may not be very comfortable but my door has a lock and I'm tired of waiting!" He agrees to meet with her after he talks to Barbie.

Vlad gets home to find Damian waiting for him on the couch. Dam reminds him they had a date, er, an appointment. Vlad is pissed that Damian didn't wait for him outside and that Damian still has his keys. Damian throws they keys in Vlad's general direction (drink!). Damian asks what happened. Vlad accuses Pris of being hysterical, paranoid, and crazy. Damian is annoyed that Vlad doesn't think he has anything better to do all day than deal with his problems with Pris. Damian says he's been helping him out, but Vlad doesn't think so because: (1) his baby mama wants to steal his baby, (2) he got kicked out of Lactos like a dog, and (3) it was Damian's wife who get him fired. Vlad lets Damian in on the fact that Fernanda knows that Vlad and Pris slept together. Damian seems genuinely surprised.

Evil Barbie's looking trampalicious today, in a black, off-the-shoulder number. Oh, wow, that's not even technically off-the-shoulder, it's strapless with arm bands. She points out that Franco looks tense. He says he's tense and uncomfortable because even though the doesn't know her well, he knows nothing guarantees she'll keep their arrangement. He says he's realized he's at a disadvantage and he refuses to go on unless they get on even footing. Barbie sits him down and tells him he knows more about her than anyone else in the world--he knows about Damian, he knows that Obregon worked for her, he has Lili's recording, and he knows Barbie had something to do with her disappearance. Barbie says with that info, she could be sent to jail for the rest of her life, but all she knows about Franco is that he tried to seduce Fernanda and that his real name probably isn't Franco Santoro. Barbie says it's odd that Franco hasn't turned her into the cops. Franco says it's odd that Barbie hasn't turned him in to Gonzalo for putting the moves on his daughter. Barbie claims that it's because since she met him she thought he'd make an excellent partner. The problem, as Franco points out, is that partners usually work together for a common goal and their goals are in opposition. He says that threatening to kill Lili if he goes to the police isn't a partnership, it's blackmail. Tomato, tomatoh, says Barbie. Franco says their deal is off if she doesn't hand over Lili.

At Casa Evil, Lili is still stroking the diary. Artemio and Jr. Henchwoman #1 enter. JH1 points out to Artemio that Lili did eat breakfast today. She takes the tray and leaves. Artemio observes that not only is Lili reading the diary, she also doesn't want it taken away from her. He tells her not to worry about that--he, more than anyone else, wants her to read it. He promises everything she reads in it is true and walks out. Lili sets the diary down and summons Ciro with the power of her mind. Ciro continues reading to her:

"I got scared when I saw that Soledad had noticed the present that Don Jeronimo Elizalde had given me…"

In sepia flashback, Soledad thinks it's weird that Don J gave Ana Gregoria a book with nothing in it. Ana Gregoria explains it's not that kind of book. It's a diary, a book where one writes about one's life. Ana Gregoria hugs the diary and smiles.

"But what I didn't tell Soledad is that a diary is a lover's gift. Oh my God! Could it be possible? Don Jeronimo is the boss and Mrs. Altagracia would kill me if she found out her husband was giving me presents."

Ciro and Lili put together that the Soledad in Ana Gregoria's diary is Eddie's mom.

Fernanda, in the midst of fighting with her computer, stops to remember seeing Lili at her new house. She wonders where Lili is and swears she'd give her life to end this nightmare. She asks how to make Lili feel, from a distance, as if Fer is with her. She buzzes Flor on the intercom and asks if Franco has left the Dragon Lady's den yet. Flor replies that he hasn't.

Damian wonders how Fernanda found out about Vlad and Pris. Vlad says only Damian knows, so of course, he must have told Fer in a moment of passion. Damian throws a crutch at him (drink!). He says he and Fer haven't had a night of passion. Vlad says that Pris must have told her, but Damian doesn't think that's possible or Pris would lose her status as the mother of the heir. Damian wonders, if Fer knows this, what else does she know? Vlad says he's losing patience and he wants to tell the Elizaldes that it's his kid. Damian says that would be a huge mistake and he should be afraid of the E family, because they've got money and power. And besides, no one would believe him, they'd just think he's throwing a tantrum for being fired. "What do I do? Shoot myself?" Vlad asks. Damian tells him to wait. "How long? 15 or 20 years? Or until he graduates from college?" Damian tells Vlad to give him his other crutch, he's leaving. He tells Vlad not to do anything until he finds out how much Fernanda knows. He says he's going to have to play blind, deaf, and dumb in order to do this, but maybe he'll get back some of his marriage. Dude, I don't care what you do, she's not sleeping with you.

Evil Barbie says she finds it hard to believe that Franco is doing all this just to get Lili back. She says this as she locks her office door. Bow, chicka, bow, bow. Franco says he'll give her a really good reason, but only after he gets some information…some vital information…but then my DVR cuts off, so someone else will have to tell me what vital information he's looking for!

Labels: manana