Caray, Caray!

We start off with a rerun of Gonzalo acting like he's got a pair. Fernanda asks him to calm down and they'll discuss it later. She invites him to her dinner with Erika, but he's not in the mood. He will accept a kiss on the cheek, though. Fer walks out of the office, looking worried. Gonzo looks like a little kid whose favorite toy just got taken away--pouty lip and all.

Evil Barbie visits the convent, where Aurora is out digging in the garden, talking to the Mother Superior about what she wants to plant out there--including maybe some strawberries ("fresas") so they can make and sell jam ("mermelada"). The nun who answered the door whispers to the Mother Superior that Barbara Elizalde is there. MS confirms with Aurora that Santiago's stepmother, the one who found her with his brother, is named Barbara and then tells her that Barbie's come a-calling. Whether she can cross the threshold without bursting into flames remains to be seen.

Camiiii and Lovelyyyyyyy get home. She promises a demonstration of why she was class valedictorian at the school of Hearts and Tarts. Camilo still thinks it's strange a guy like Steve would send his niece there, but Lurvely says it's because Tio Esteve thinks women find their happiness in marriage. Camilo wants to hear more about Lovely--who is this woman he's going to marry? Lovely says her life is like a telenovela and she promises she will tell him, but not until they're married, and that's not going to take too much longer. They sip wine.

Franco runs after what I thought was Esteve's car as Esteve heads out of the Las Animas driveway. Turns out it's Gonzalo's car and Esteve wants to end this game with Camilo posthaste. Esteve wants to tell him we know who he is and all the stuff he's done. And to give the car back to his daddy and tell him what a lousy son he has. And the thing with Venus is over. O-V-E-R ("se acabó"). Franco wonders why, is Steve jealous? Esteve calls him crazy, but Franco says that not only is he not, he also doesn't think there's anything wrong with Esteve having a thing for Venus. "Once you pry all that trashy hooker makeup off her face, she's really an interesting person underneath it all." I'm paraphrasing. Franco says they can't rat on Camilo because it will ruin the relationship with the Elizalde family. Franco says he'll take the car back to its hiding place, but Esteve starts crying. He says he feels like he set a trap for himself. Franco says he's just feeling jealous, but Steve doesn't know, but something strange is happening. "Duh," says Franco, "you fell in love" ("te enamoraste"--"amar" is to love; "enamorar" is to fall in love; the two "te"s are for emphasis).

Barbie says she's come to the convent on some painful family business. She puts on a good show for the Mother Superior about how she hates the word "stepchild" because she really feels like her stepchildren are like her children ("-astro" or "-astra" gets added to any family relationship to make it step--"madrastra" stepmother; "hijastro" stepson). Blah, blah, bliddy blah, I'm such a kind and caring person. She says MS must know her stepson's girlfriend Aurora. Barbie says Aurora disappeared all of a sudden, but they don't know what happened and Santiago is "hundido en la desesperación" (sinking in desperation). They only want to know that she's ok. MS says she's fine, she's under the protection of the convent. Barbie is relieved to hear it: "Llegamos a imaginar lo peor" (we'd come to imagine the worst). She asks to see her and the dramatic music plays.

Esteve moans and groans about his crush. "No puede ser!" It can't be that he's in love with Venus, for the same reasons that it's absurd for Gardenia to be in love with Franco. Oh, no, says Franco, that's different, you're a real millionaire, you're from the upper class of a rich country, and it wasn't in your plans to fall in love with a girl who worked in a cantina, but you're the only one who can figure out what to do. Esteve frets that Venus isn't telling him everything that happens with Camilo. Franco guesses that's why he wants to call it off. Esteve says they can't leave her in the hands of "that idiot". Franco says they'll protect her and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. But Steve doesn't know if he can go on. Franco has to ask the classic question "Estas enamorado o no?" ("Are you in love with her or aren't you?"). Steve says he's afraid so.

Camiiiii whines about wanting his "sorpresota" ("big surprise"--"sorpresa" surprise, "-ota" big) as he sits in his living room blindfolded. Lovely, wearing a very bad wig (to make it easier for the Stunt!Lovely to look like her) spins fire in a leather bikini and boots. It actually does look pretty cool, but I didn't know that was the kind of thing that turned guys on…oh, wait, it's the leather bikini, right? Silly me. I wonder if she knew how to spin fire before or whether that was in "Tío Esteve's Crash Course In How To Be A Proper Lady Who Nevertheless Knows Every Imaginable Way To Please A Man"?

Barbie wonders why Aurora doesn't want to see anybody. Barbie is upset to hear that Aurora was "completely destroyed" ("completamente destrozada") when she showed up. The Mother Superior says she hasn't been able to completely understand what it was that upset Aurora so much at the hacienda. She asks if maybe Barbie can explain it to her. Well, this gives her a chance to lie, but there's only so far she can stretch it, since MS does know a few things.

Aurora paces in her room wondering why Barbie wants to see her. She thinks maybe there are a few more insults Barbie forgot to throw at her. She asks the virgin to please make Barbie go away. Like she wouldn't have done it sooner if she could. Aurora says the only one she owes an explanation to is Santiago, but she's sure Barbie didn't give him her letter.

Santiago bitches to Priscilla that if only Aurora had left him a letter to explain why she'd left…. Pris doesn't understand who would have shown up to take Aurora away. She thinks it's more likely that Barbie's a big fat liar. Santi thought of that, but she's been so interested in helping him find Aurora. He says this is the first time he's felt like he trusts her, but maybe he's just desperate.

Barbie says what Camilo did to Aurora was terrible and she hasn't told Santiago because it will rip the family apart. She fake-asks the Madre Superior what she should do. MS tells her to ask her conscience. Hm, ok, so what's plan B? MS informs Barbie that Aurora has decided to isolate herself from the world and she supports that decision. Barbie asks if she's being forbidden to see Aurora. MS restates that she's not forbidding anything--Aurora made a decision and she supports it.

Night falls.

Barbie and Damian talk via phone. Damian tells her that his cousin has informed him that Villasana doesn't have a legal leg to stand on. According to Damian, Villasana showing up at Lactos was like the kicking of a drowning man ("patadas de un ahogado") and they have nothing to worry about.

Aurora worriedly asks the Mother Superior if she's going to have to leave the convent because she's "bad". MS says being pregnant doesn't make her "indigna" (unworthy). MS says the baby is the result of love and Aurora doesn't need human approval to be at peace with God. Well, that's very progressive of her. Aurora wants to know what Evil Barbie said. MS says that woman didn't come for any good reason, at least that's what her heart is telling her.

Pointless scene of Evil Barbie getting home and walking through the downstairs of the hacienda.

Franco wants to talk to Gardenia. She's busy chopping veg and tells him to talk.

Evil Barbie goes to inform Santi that Aurora is at the convent, but she doesn't want to see anyone.

Franco tells Gardenia it's one thing to marry someone you don't love and another thing to marry someone that you love the way he loves Gardenia. Gardenia asks how he loves her. "We grew up together." Well, you grew up with Fernanda too, Gardenia reminds him. Franco says he can't have Fernanda. Because she's married? Franco says that "Franco Santoro" couldn't marry Fernanda even if they were both available. Gardenia says he knows that's not true. She tries to run off, but he grabs her back. He wants her to listen to him, but she has some things to say too. Namely, that she loves him, etc. He says he loves her too, but…so she grabs him and plants a big one on him, just as Fernanda is coming to the door. Ok, here's the thing men (and I suppose this would apply to the ladies too), when someone has a crush on you or thinks they're in love with you, or whatever, and you don't have the same feelings for them, don’t start your sentence with "I love you, but…" Got it? No, "I love you, but not like that," or "I love you, but like a sister, " or "I love you, but I love your best friend more." Once the first three words are out, nothing else is heard. And then things start to go horribly wrong and your childhood sweetheart sees her kissing you through the front door and gets upset and leaves without saying anything. And once you start with that, it’s a slippery slope down to plot extensions that go nowhere for months. Just let that be a lesson to you.

Evil Barbie tells Santi that Aurora was doing a lot of babbling when she first showed up at the convent, but she showed up alone. Santi says he's going straight out there. Barbie tells him to be careful, that Aurora must not be well or the nuns wouldn't have her isolated. She says they have no way of knowing what happened between the time she left with that (completely fabricated) man and the time she made it to the convent. She tells him not to get his hopes up. Santi says the love of his life has shown up and she's in a safe place, so off he goes. Barbie wishes him luck and he thanks her. She picks up one of his paintbrushes, randomly.

After Franco breaks off the kiss, Gardenia is just swooning over it. "You can't tell me you didn't like that." Franco says it doesn't matter if he liked it or not. Again, wrong answer! The answer is "no, I didn't, and I can't have you working here anymore, so go home." But nooooo, he's gotta be Mr. Nice Guy. Gardenia says she's dreamed of this for a long time. Franco says it's not right, he doesn't want to hurt her. Gardenia says it's too late, he's already hurt her, everything he's saying is hurting her "hasta la médula" (to the marrow). Yeah, but he's slowly peeling the Band Aid off…rip it, already! He says he has to tell her, because they're like siblings and they will be for the rest of their lives. He says he loves her and he'd give his life for her and he's telling her the truth because he loves her. He says his feelings for her aren't going to change. He doesn't want her to get her hopes up for something that's never going to happen. Never ("nunca"). "Is he finally getting it through her head?" Mr. 5ft wonders. I say not. She's not giving up until some new guy shows up that she can be interested in instead. Until then she's going to keep thinking she has a chance.

Fernanda sits in her car, crying, and finally buckles her seatbelt, then cries some more.

Gardenia wants to clarify that what he's saying is that he's never going to love her. Yes, you dimwit, that's exactly what he's saying! How many times do we have to hear it?! He says that it hurts him too, to know how she feels for him and not be able to return her feelings. Oh, whatever. It's not the same hurt, man, so just shut it already. Gardenia cries and starts to leave the room, but she comes back to tell him that if that's the way he feels, she's sorry, but she can't be near him. And that is the first sensible thing anybody's said all day.

And then, to placate me, when we come back from commercials, we get treated to the lead-in clip of Colunga working his biceps. Repeatedly. Wow, ten minutes of that. Oh, wait, you mean I hit the slow-mo button by mistake? Hm, can't imagine how that happened.

Venus is in her room folding clothes. Esteve comes in to talk to her and she lets him in, but she gives him the cold shoulder. He says he has good news for her, but first off, he wants to tell her she's done a great job. She's really owning this role, and sometimes even he forgets that there is no Lovely Norton. He tells her she's "increiblemente talentosa" (incredibly talented). And he is surprised to discover that when she said "thanks, Steve" what she really meant was "Oh, bite me! I'm in love with you, you nitwit!" He tells her that she doesn't have to keep pretending to be Lovely, it's over. She doesn't respond.

Fernanda comes home and Tomasa tells her that her dad is waiting for her in the dining room, alone.

Barbie mutters to herself in her bedroom that she's sure Santiago will get Aurora out of the convent and bring her "to me."

Gonzo tells Fer that Barbie doesn't think they should involve the cops, but he wants Fer's opinion. Fernanda says he should do what his conscience dictates, but he says he's not sure and he doesn't want to put Lili's life in danger. Fernanda says she supports him completely, whatever decision he makes. Gonzo wonders if what Lili says on the tape is true. Fernanda says someone should analyze it, and Franco has a contact who specializes in that. Gonzo hesitates, because he's still got doubts. Fer tells him to "consultala con la almohada" ("consult with your pillow" i.e., "sleep on it"). She says she's headed upstairs, Gonzo assumes for some quality time with the hubby. She asks him to let her know if he needs anything. She tells him she loves him a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot.

Esteve explains to Venus that since they don't know how much farther to go with this thing and it's getting more dangerous, they don't want to risk her. Venus says she doesn't understand what risks they're talking about. Esteve says that Camilo is violent, but Venus says that with all he's taught her, Camilo is only ever nice to her. She doesn't understand why they're not going on. Steve explodes that the idea was to screw around with him, but it's over. Venus wonders about the wedding arrangements. Steve says there won't be a wedding, but Venus insists that she is going to marry Camilo and storms off to her closet.

Gardenia comes over to Margie and Jacinto's house and asks if she can stay. She talks around what's going on, but Jacinto wants a straight answer. Gardenia says she quit. She "canté las golondrinas al Eduardo" (sang The Swallows to Eduardo…Las Golondrinas is a goodbye song, but this can also mean "I spilled my guts, I said everything I had to say" etc.).

Steve says that now that he's told her everything, does she still want to marry that parasite (parásito), that good for nothing (buena para nada)? Venus says it's not an "idea," she's engaged and she's going to get married. He tells her she would screw up her life. "People can change," Venus Lovely-s. "Not him!" screams Steve. Not that "macho retrasado mental" (mentally delayed chauvinist) who will only get worse as he gets older. Venus says maybe he's right, but all men are alike anyway. Steve says "not all", but Venus reminds him that's what he said in her lessons. "Well, then, if it's that easy to give them what they want in bed and in exchange the man give the woman whatever she wants, then why wouldn't I get something out of it for myself, the real Venus?" Steve doesn't answer.

Ooh, again with the lifting weights. I must have been a very good girl recently!

Margarita wants Gardenia to go to sleep and go back to Las Animas tomorrow and get her job back. Gardenia won't. Jacinto tells her she can't quit her job "just because" (así porque si). Margie wants to know what she did and Gardenia swears it was nothing bad. Margie seems most worried that they not leave Eduardo alone because they're supposed to be his friends. Gardenia says that's too bad, he'll have to get along with out her because "ni de chiste" (not even as a joke) will she go back. Even as she says it, I'm looking at her facial expression and thinking that she really, really wants him to beg her to come back. Jacinto says if she's already decided, fine, but they're not happy about it. Gardenia says she's not going to just hang around on their couch, she's going to swallow her pride and go talk to Fernanda about work. Mhm, guess who's going to be working the Cheese Fair.

Fernanda is removing her makeup and remembering Franco presenting Erika as his fiancée, then remembering him "kissing" Gardenia just now. She scrubs the heck out of her face. She thought bubbles that Franco is "un asco" (disgusting).

Franco and Esteve sit in the kitchen talking about their women troubles. Franco says Gardenia was sad and she's really important to him. Steve says she got her hopes up without Franco's assistance. Steve says he should be worried, but because since Gardenia felt rejected she might reveal his secret identity. Steve says things are getting out of hand. Venus is stubbornly insisting on marrying Camilo. Franco says the same thing's happening with Venus and Steve as with him and Gardenia. Steve, shocked says "What? You're starting to have feelings for Gardenia?" But that's not the part Franco meant. He meant that he didn't want Gardenia to go and now Steve's trying to stop Venus from leaving, but they really can't do anything about it.

Venus cries over the phone to Martina about how stupid she is and all the stuff she said to Steve. Martina, rather than consoling her, yells at her. Martina thinks she forgot that Lovely was just a job and the job is over. Venus says her job was to "enredar a Camilo" (get Camilo all wrapped up) and now she's the one who's gotten wrapped up herself. Martina says she's got to go tell Steve the truth right now, but Venus won't. Quite sensibly, Martina says Lovely can't marry Camilo because Lovely doesn't exist. Venus weeps that she doesn't even know who she is anymore. She didn't know what would happen and now look at her--Steve made her think she could be a respectable lady and she got used to not being alone and feeling important and loved. Martina says that she is, but Venus counters that Martina said it was just a job. Steve created lovely and Venus created the rest. What "rest"? Why, thinking that a man like Steve Norton would ever look at a woman like her. So, she's going to give Camilo what Lovely promised.

Gonzalo watches Barbara sleep. He reaches out to rub her shoulder, but she turns away from him, pretending to be asleep. We see that she's not.

Back at the convent, Santiago wakes up in his jeep outside the front door. He gets himself straightened out somewhat and knocks on the door. Bangs on it, really. A nun answers and he asks to speak to the Mother Superior and it's a matter of life or death (un asunto de vida o muerte).

Inside, Aurora waxes rhapsodic about how much she loves being at the convent, feeling close to God, chatting with the Virgen about what to do with the rest of her life. She also thinks about how her child is going to grow up not having anyone but her. Mother Superior reminds her that her child does have a father and it's not right to deny her child that. The only way she'll know if Santiago would accept the baby is to ask him. Aurora says she can't go find him. Sister Fidelia comes to tell the Mother Superior that Santiago is here.

Damian wakes up and finds that Fernanda didn't sleep in her bed last night. I find it strange how neatly people sleep. My bedcovers always get all messed up, but these people wake up looking like they're ready to shoot a home décor ad. Fernanda comes in with breakfast for Damian (yeah, just throw him some raw meat and run the other way, I say). He gripes that he fell asleep waiting for her. Fernanda says she didn't want to wake him up, so she slept in Lili's room. She says she's really been ignoring him lately, but she's going to work harder to make their marriage work. He says she's made him the happiest man in the world with her words. He tells her she's the best thing in his life and he's dreaming of the day they really live like man and wife. Again, dude, she's not sleeping with you! Is that all he thinks about? Sex, sex, sex. Oh, and avoiding incarceration.

Barbie has come to visit Franco. She proposes a deal, but first he needs to agree to her conditions. If he agrees to her conditions, she'll tell him who has Lili. He says it sounds "tentador" (tempting). She says that's the only way she'll be able to explain to him how they're going to work together. He says it sounds like a deal with the devil when she puts it like that. Barbie says that's exactly what "that man" is…the devil. Dun, dun, dun!

And tomorrow: Barbie gives up Artemio; Gardenia won't leave Eduardo alone.

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