Caray, Caray!

But will we actually get any tonight? Our first confession is what I thought would be a confessus interruptus from Flor to Fernanda about Rubiel Villasana. But technically that's from last night, so it doesn't trigger our confess-o-meter for this evening. Given that he's a new player on the scene, I wonder if he might hang around for a while to do us the favor of both helping end Fer and Damian's marriage AND partnering one of the eligible ladies.

Evil Barbie summons Fernanda to Daddy's office, but she also asks if Fer has talked to Santiago. By coincidence, Santi calls and Fernanda borderline rudely tells Barbie that she wants to take the call alone ("a sola"). Santi tells her Aurora is in Purificacion, that Barbie is the one who found her, but he won't give her any more details until he sees her tonight. She notices his depressed tone and keeps trying to cheer him up, talking about how he's coming home with Aurora, but Santi doesn't reply.

Lurvely asks Caaaaaamiiiiii what he would think about getting a 2 for 1 deal in his marriage. Cami is intrigued. Lovely explains he gets one chaste, virginal gal, but the other isn't shy ("timida") or naïve ("ingenua"), isn't afraid of anything and only wants to give him pleasure. And the best thing about that woman? That she expects nothing from Camilo--not love or understanding. Hm, sounds like a good deal for him. She says all "that woman" needs from him is to pay what's fair. Well, maybe not such a god deal, then.

Barbie gripes to Fernanda about Gardenia being there, about her covering the phones, about Fer making a decision without consulting anyone else. She tries to say it's because Gardenia quit her job at the hacienda. Gonzo, who hasn't been paying attention, seemingly, now chimes in to say he agrees with Barbie--anyone hired for a job in the president's office ("presidencia") needs to be on the family's good side. He demonstrates that he has been attending the Franco Santoro School of Acting With Your Jaw Muscles and gives us a flex just to show that he's serious.

Flor and Gardenia gossip about how Fernanda's going to have Flor's back with Evil Barbie. Gardenia blabs about Fer needing to know everything about her skeezy husband. Flor says she did it because Franco had already spilled the beans to Fer. Gardenia gives Flor an "oh, if you only knew the truth about that Franco Santoro", but she doesn't actually give her any information before flouncing off.

Margie tells Franco that he has a call from Erika. She wants his birth certificate ("acta de nacimiento"), but he says he left it in the US. She proposes they request a copy and he says he'll look into it. She sends him "magical" kisses before hanging up. I thought only the Keebler Elves could do that, but apparently so can Erika. Franco tells himself it was a bad idea to agree to marry Erika. Duh.

Fernanda, Barbie, and Gonzo continue their argument. Gonzo tells Fer that she's going to have to get used to consulting people before she makes decisions. She counters that no one consulted her before hiring Vlad (the Impregnator) and isn't she supposed to be the director of human resources ("recursos humanos")? They're interrupted by a call to tell them that Gonzo's lawyer is here. Gonzo tells Fernanda the lawyer is here to make some "changes" about the distribution of his assets.

Cami says Lovely's being very mysterious and he wants to know if those two women are actually both her. She moans a yes. He asks if that was the truth she wanted to tell him about. Another yes, but there's still more. She asks him if he'd rather she undress ("desnudar") her body or her soul first. He leaves it up to her, so she starts with her soul. "Lovely doesn't exist." He's confused. As she starts to explain, the doorbell rings. It's Tío Esteve! He gripes her out for being there and Lovely looks terrified. Confessus Interruptus: 1.

Tío Esteve loudly reminds Lovely that a decent woman doesn't spend time alone with a man. Esteve tells Cami that includes the boyfriend, fiancee, etc. Lovely tries to resist leaving with Esteve, but Cami is only too happy to retrieve her bag to help Esteve out. Esteve drags her out before Cami can object. He looks pretty freaked out as well.

Margie tells Franco she's worried about Gardenia working at Lactos and possibly telling Fernanda something. Fernanda calls and asks to talk to Franco, but she wants to come over, not talk on the phone. Franco asks Margie if maybe Gardenia already ratted him out. Margie tells him to spill the beans now, "don't wait, you tell her first."

Gonzalo answers some question from the lawyer, Eusebio, that we don't hear with "everything." He says the situation with Lili keeps getting worse and he wants to protect his family's inheritance ("patrimonio"), and that includes protecting it even from his own daughter. Eusebio thinks he's being extreme and wonders what Gonzo thinks Lili will do. It's not Lili he's worried about, but Obregon, who appears to have completely dominated Lili's will, thus putting his pesos (most of which are actually Franco's pesos at this point) at risk. The lawyer gives him a listing of his assets ("bienes") and says he's already drafted a new will ("testamento") according to their last decision. Gonzo says he wants to put the house in the kids' names, except for Lili's. Barbie steams.

Lili, at Artemio's house, is listening to Ciro continue reading from Ana Gregoria's diary, but we don't get to hear it.

What about the rest, Eusebio asks. "The rest goes in the name of my wife: Barbara Elizalde." Eusebio wants to confirm, because last time Gonzo was splitting it between Barbie and the kids. Gonzalo insists it all needs to go under his wife's name. Eusebio begs their pardon for asking. Gonzo says no sweat, but get on that right away, "¿Quieres?" (literally "do you want to?", but it's more along the lines of "would you?" or "you got a problem with that?" depending on the tone--for example "Damnit, Esteve, just tell Venus you're in love with her, ¿Quieres?" or "Shut up, already, Gardenia, ¿Quieres?") . Gonzalo gives Barbie a reassuring glance that would have made him look like the big strong man…about forty years ago. It doesn't help that we know just how daffy he is today.

Venus yells at Esteve in the car. He won't talk to her in the house, it has to be in the car. He doesn't want to be overheard or interrupted. He wants to explain to her why she can't tell Camilo the truth. Esteve says the game with Cami is over. "El tomado del pelo" he calls it ("taking by the hair" literally; in English we would say, "pulling your leg" or "yanking your chain"). "I knew that" she snaps. She points out he made that decision without consulting her because she doesn't matter. He tries to tell her she does matter and she can ask whatever she wants, he's willing ("dispuesto") to do anything to keep her from seeing Camilo Elizalde again. And then we switch scenes and I can quit holding my breath! Damn you, writers, could you throw us a bone already!!!!!!!!!

Fer storms into Franco's study and says she's found out something terrible and she just can't believe it. He wonders if it's something Gardenia told him, by any chance ("de casualidad"). Fer is confused and wonders, "What's Gardenia got to do with it?" And really, don't we all?

"Why don't you want me to see Cami again?" Venus wonders. Esteve says it's because he knows she wants to tell him about their "joke" and he doesn't know what will happen to her after, or to the other people around her.
V: You care ("te importa"; is it important to you?) what happens to me?
S: Don't ever doubt that.
V: I have a hard time ("me cuesta trabajo"; it takes some work) believing that's true.
S: It is true, that's why I went to find you. Because I can't let you make that mistake. If you tell him the truth you'll destroy the life of someone who loves you very much. You're a woman of good feelings and I'm sure you don't want to hurt that person. Or do you?

And still no confession. But I think we're getting closer.

That waste of space Camilo is on the phone to Natacha claiming he thinks only of her. Vomit. He just hasn't been able to see her because he's sooooo busy at work. He's waiting for her in his lust nest.

Back to the Steve and Venus show…
V: Is that person you, Steve?
S: No, uh, yes, uh, it's our friend Franco. If you talk, you'll destroy his life.
V: Does he know this, did you tell him that I'm going to spill it all?
S: He knows, but he told me it was in our hands.
V: And why is he so trusting ("confiado")?
S: Because he trusts his friends and you're a beloved friend.
V: I would have made him look bad to the Elizaldes!
S: And many other worse things that I hope I'll be able to tell you about one day.
V: I promise I won't talk.
He thanks her and kisses her on the cheek…come on kids, you can do this! But, no. They both get out of the car. Venus bitches at Steve that she's only doing it for Franco's sake. And she has a condition. Esteve agrees without knowing what it is. Esteve is dead to me. He says she'll be protected by both Esteve and Franco. They'll give her the "respaldo economico" (economic support) she needs. She says the condition is to follow through on the plan and make Camilo fall in love with her. Possibly Venus is dead to me now too.

Fer wonders what Gardenia would have said. Franco makes excuses not worth translating. Can we get back to the important things here, people? Fer's assuming Franco was taking advantage of ("aprovechandose de") Gardenia. She finally says it's her dad, he's upset and freaked out and if Lili doesn't come back soon, he's going to give everything to Evil Barbie (trading on the NYSE as ticker symbol BAR, up 10% from yesterday's figures, buy now for best price).

Eusebio has Gonzo sign the paperwork. He explains he can now start to follow through with Gonzo's instructions. He asks if the kids already know about his decision. No answer, just some more jawing.

Anibal is giving Vlad the impregnator his word and the details of the deal: "I'll give over rights to the kid and when I'm divorced from Priscila, you'll have the kid and the possibility of marrying her." Say what?! And in exchange for? "You'll follow my every order without questions. That's my condition if you want to have your kid." Vlad wants guarantees. Anibal says they'll both have to take it on faith. If Vlad complies, Anibal will hand over the kid as soon as it's born and divorce Priscila. Vlad asks why they have to wait. Anibal says he needs time to arrange the divorce in a way that won't damage his assets ("intereses"). And also Pris needs to be left out of it ("al margen").

Priscila happily chats with Damian about what an attentive husband and father-to-be Anibal has turned into. He's cancelled his appointments to come to psychoprophylactic ("psicoprofilacticos") baby classes with her (yes, really, that's the translation--Lamaze, essentially, but Google the term for more info). "He even wants us to pick out the hospital where our baby will be born." Damian quips sarcastically that it's because the kid represents a few more zeros in their bank account. Pris says she thinks a miracle has finally occurred and Anibal is turning into the husband she dreamed of since they got married. Damian says the opposite is happening to him. Last night Fernanda "insinuated" (seriously, dude, insinuated?) that she wants a divorce. He again utters the fateful words "I won't give her one" followed by going directly against his own words and throwing in the towel, er, napkin. Drink!

Gonzalo tells Eusebio that he can't count on his kids at all and the only sure thing in left in his life is Evil Barbie's company. He asks if Eusebio doesn't think it's fair to start protecting her now. And besides, the Hacienda's worth a lot, right? Eusebio, with sarcasm concealed only from the dimwitted Gonzalo, replies, "Yes, I'm sure that's exactly how your kids will see it." Gonzalo offers to walk him out, but Eusebio refuses as he's practically family ("soy de la casa"; "I'm from the house"). Gonzalo gets a last handshake and a hug. Eusebio says once the process ("el tramite"--of getting the assets actually transferred) is complete he'll come by with the paperwork. Hear that ticking, Gonzalo? Those are your few remaining seconds…oh, wait, what's that noise? My, my, they've gotten as fast as a drumroll in the last five minutes.

Evil Barbie's happy now. She thanks him and says the only thing she expects of him is love. He says she's never expected anything from him. She tells him what he's done now has left her speechless ("sin palabras"--without words). He says it's all to give her back a little for all she's given him. She must be amazing in bed, then.

Fer says she's worried about Barbie, but more worried that Gonzo is going to lose faith in her. Franco says they'll get Lili back soon, causing Fer to suspect he knows more than he's telling. He says he's got a lead, but he doesn't want to tell her anything until it pans out.

Barbie calls Artemio to say "the moment has arrived." He asks her "When are you thinking of doing it?" "Immediately," she responds. "I hope so," he replies. Barbie hangs up on him and dials a number.

Fer whines that Franco probably doesn't care because it's just about her money, sniff. Franco says, oh, no, he's all about her needs. He answers an incoming call from Barbie, however, and she tells him it's time to dance with the devil. Like, now. Like, right now ("ahorita mismo"). Jaw flex.

"Can you come with me?" Barbie asks. Fernanda, pissy that she's not his #1 priority, makes for the door. Franco says he can, so Barbie's coming over to his house. Once he gets off the phone, Fer asks if he's busy and says she's got to leave. He keeps her from leaving and she says she's got something to say to him about Gardenia.

Gardenia, meanwhile, having given Flor the 'ol "if only you knew" is now indulging in another favorite pastime of gossips, the "oh, no, I really can't say (but ask me again, I like feeling popular)." Sorry folks, I just have no patience for her tonight. "It's a delicate situation…just to give you a hint, if it were know, it would rock everyone's world." Flor looks appropriately (and for Gardenia, I'm sure, gratifyingly) impactada.

Fer says she's sure she never should have found out, but now she's got to talk. She asks him what women mean to him--she's realized how he manages his relationships with women. And she's not referring to what happened between the two of them, but she's realized that the thing they had going on was going on at the same time he had a thing with Erika and now they're getting married (and yes, it's just as convoluted as that). Franco says he thought they'd agreed it was just their hormones getting the better of them (paraphrasing). Fer thinks it's odd ("curioso") that he often has those "impulsive reactions" ("reacciones impulsivas"). She spills that when she came looking for him the other day, as she was about to knock on the door, she saw him kissing Gardenia. And that's a 1 on the confess-o-meter tonight, but I just can't bring myself to care about this one. Because you know that now she's going to only sort of confront him, but not really give him a chance to explain, and his explanation's going to sound so lame it won't matter anyway. Le sigh. Franco gets a pained, constipated look on his face.

Gardenia tells Flor "All I can say is, when this comes out, even the Elizaldes themselves are going to back up. That's going to be something to see." Flor, in a master stroke of gossipy brilliance, says that if the chisme ("gossip") is sooooo juicy, then Gardenia's going to feel really, really guilty when the shiznit hits the fan later. Mhm, I can see the two of them now, sitting in side by side rockers in the nursing home, tearing all the other little old ladies up one side and down the other. "If something bad happens because you don't tell, it's going to be ALL YOUR FAULT." Then she claims to hear her phones ringing and storms off.

Fer is sarcastically grateful that Franco isn't denying it, since they've still got work to do together and she doesn't need for him to turn out to be a liar on top of everything else. Ha. She calls his silence eloquent. She wants to know why, why is he taking advantage of her vulnerability, marrying Erika when he doesn't love her, and now putting the moves on Gardenia. She blasts him for giving poor, simple Gardenia hope that her wonderful boss might be falling in love with her. She screams at him the she, Erika, and Gardenia, don't go around kissing men "for sport" ("por deporte"). a. Speak for yourself. b. maybe that's just because there aren't any men around worth kissing for sport, miss priss. On and on and on, blah, blah, blah, no you don't get to talk, yadda, yadda, yadda, don't screw around with Erika. Buh-bye. Yeah, he doesn't get a word in.

Santi reports to Barbie that Aurora didn't give him the guy's name, didn't deny it, and didn't say anything else. Barbie tells him he doesn't deserve it and backhandedly confirms that Aurora didn't tell him the truth. Santi says when he saw her again he realized he'd still fall in love with her if he had it to do over again. Barbie thought bubbles happily that she didn't tell him about the baby. She asks him not to think all women are the same, this was just an accident, he's a great guy. He says he's leaving, there's nothing to keep him here anymore. He wants to go somewhere he'll never even accidentally run into her. Barbie agrees it would be good for him to have some alone time. She tries to hug him, but he won't do it and leaves. Barbie says she's sure she'll have her daughter and her grandchild all to herself.

Franco asks Steve if he talked to Venus. Steve says Venus won't tell because she doesn't want to hurt Franco, but she wants to keep the game going, just as they'd agreed. Franco says there's no way. Steve says all men are alike to Venus. Franco gripes that Fer thinks the same thing just because she saw him kissing Gardenia. "Now she thinks my favorite sport is kissing every woman I can get my hands on." The line. Starts. Here. Franco complains that he couldn't even explain to her. And also Barbie's on the way and today he's meeting Artemio Bravo. Dun dun dun.

But that will have to wait for tomorrow. Also tomorrow: Gardenia cries sexual harassment. I have no words.

Labels: manana