Caray, Caray!

As Margo Channing said, fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night!

Beto bluffs his way out of Mau's house by saying he was supposed to come over to pick up some "work" but hey, if Gabi forgot to call it's not his fault. "No work, no Beto," and out he dashes. Tere tells Mau she doesn't quite trust the guy, he was all over the house.

Gabi and Sal show up and does Mau ask Gabi about the alleged "work"? No way, that would be too logical. Instead they confound him with conversation. Sal tells him they think Beto and his people are spies. Gabi explains that Paula lied to her, telling her one thing and then another, it's all very suspicious. Then Sal and Gabi blame each other for being suspicious which confuses and irritates our poor galán even more. Mau doesn't believe them. Sal and Gabi suggest maybe somebody paid Beto, maybe for personal reasons. They mention Monita's name a little too loudly and Mau shushes them because you-know-who-is in the bedroom. Mau is not receptive so they give up and go to a spinning class.

Just as Mau breathes a sigh of relief Xime shows up with a suitcase. "Mau Tse Tung...!" He wonders why the suitcase and she tells him it's because she's back with Rolu and Consti plans to stay with Mau a while, she giggles that there is someone for everyone (Judy's first dicho - each ewe has her ram = cada oveja con su pareja). Time for a daquiri! Xime grins and Mau makes a cara guácala.

Nieves is mad at Beto because she waited four hours for someone, I think to replace Beto's voter's card or something like that. She says if he doesn't take responsibility for getting his card then Moni will dump him for being useless, and last night she looked so beautiful in her dress. This inspires him to hop to. Nieves wants him to take a bath but he resists, explaining "la cascara guarda el palo", or he can't help being who he is (Lit. the bark covers the stick).

Nieves visits a glum Moni who is trying on her dress for alterations. She tells her she's the most beautiful girl in the world. Nieves wants to make a few alterations that will take just a second but Moni doesn't want to. Nieves suspiciously tells Moni that she has been very touchy lately.

Just then Mau pays a surprise visit and calls for Moni. Estrella runs interference and loudly says his name clueing Moni in to the interloper. While Estrella decoys Mau, Moni makes a mad dash for freedom. "Who is that girl? Is it Monita?' he cries. Mau chases her through the streets until she finally hitches a ride on the back of a dump truck. Too late, or is it? He pays a guy for his bike and pedals after her.

Meanwhile Coni complains to Jeri about his sister, him, everything, and especially the psychiatric treatment. Jeri tells her to leave it in his hands. After her couples session with Mau he will be convinced he can't leave her during her emotional dis-equilibrium (yes I know it's not really a word but so what it looked cool in Spanish). Coni asks what happens if they still can't get rid of Moni? Jeri says don't worry, she'll be history. He tries to smooch Coni but no dice, she kicks him out.

Estrella and Pau are washing their clothes in the public basin whiles Nieves accuses them of hiding something about Monita from her. She wants to know where in heck The Monita ran off to because if anything happens to Don Tobias's daughter's wedding dress he'll kill her. Estrella says she probably ran away so as not to marry Beto. Nieves yells that Beto and Moni are going to marry whether they like it or not! Even Pau jumps in and says why does Nieves have to condemn poor Monita to a life sentence of taking care of her son?

Moni thinks she's given the slip to Mau but guess who clumsily rides up on a bike? She jumps on the bus, he jumps on, she hides, she jumps off, he jumps off, etc.

Gabi bitches to Sal about Mau standing around with crossed arms. Sal suggests she back off, if Mau needs their help he'll ask for it. She doesn't buy it, he's such a proud (ed: dopey) man, he'd never ask. Slick Sal suggests they dine together to help calm her nerves and after a bit of double-entendre banter she agrees.

Our favorite office lurker Jeri sneaks into Mau's office after they leave. Uh oh, it sounds like they are coming back so Jeri hides under the desk. Sal grabs his notebook and shoves the chair into the footwell, can't leave the office a mess now can we? The mighty shove is greeting with a mysterious grunt of pain. Sal looks around, did a spider fart? Guess not.

Jeri crawls out moaning and congratulates himself on keeping his cool while sweating bullets (estoy sudando la camiseta). He's the master, w00t!

More running and chasing, this time Moni runs into a church, interrupting a wedding. The bride thinks her groom is up to something funny and whacks him with her bouquet. But no, the "other bride" keeps running with her prince running after. Moni jumps into the limo, "let's go!" "And the groom?" asks the driver. "Here he is" pants Mau. Our little dove has been captured and guess what, it's raining again, signifying romance is in the air.

Mau asks the logical question, what is she doing in the dress and why did she run? Monita lies, AGAIN, it's Pau's dress and it's bad luck if he sees her. Even Mau does't buy this crap. He knows she's hiding something and he wants to know what it is. "For once tell the truth." She's silent and in disgust he leaves the limo.

Coni berates Xime for forgetting to bring her underwear. Xime says it's time for a new outlook on life, one without undies, and Consti can't have everything in life so there. Coni retorts maybe she can also be missing a brain then she and Xime will be equal. Xime points out she may lack a brain but at least she's not feigning insanity and trying to lure Mau with horrible blackmail. Nyaaa!

Moni dolefully returns to the barrio and I guess her dress is a mess because Nieves freaks. What will the daughter of Don Tobias say? How will Nieves (deleted) explain this? Moni says sorry but she was nervous and had to go to the pharmacy to buy a pill (Lie Alert!), suddenly some guy came in and stole her purse, lies lies lies, etc. Nieves warns Moni that one day she is going to hang herself with her lies (tirando de la cuerda y un dia de estos se va a romper). "Now fix that dress right now!" Moni cries to herself that she doesn't know how to sew.

When Mau gets home Coni greets him warmly, he's just in time for therapy. His hugs are the only thing that can relieve her anguish. (Oh brother) Once again he looks confounded and tells her things will be very different after therapy. You bet they will, she agrees. But they don't really agree now, do they?

It looks like Sal's meal was the perfect antidote to Gabi's nerves. Perfect, that is, except that she's looped. Sal tries to force a kiss on her right in the lobby but No No No, Gabi ain't gonna let it happen. Sometimes being a stubborn drunk works out for the best. Moni walks up (in an adorable black and white number I might add) with a tray of cappu and Gabi sends her off to Mau's house with the "work" that Beto was supposed to deliver. Huh, I guess he really was supposed to deliver something.

Now Tio Meño the faux psychiatrist is at Mau's house (I think that's where they are) and he's waxing Freudian with lots of rolled rrrrrrs and hand waving, etc. Constanza seriously looks like she's about to crack up in this scene. "Who wants to start?" he asks. Mau goes first and says he wants to break up because they've been on the outs for a long time and they need to preserve their sanity. She freaks out and throws herself onto Mau and our faux psychiatrist flings his arms wide and asks Mau does he want to bear the guilt for this until it is spread throughout the city? This woman is seriously coming unglued (esa mujer se va a pegar un tiro)! Mau shakes his head in defeat and asks is this his idea of therapy? Nope, it's Freudian analysis.

OK you've gotta be kidding me. Sal and Jeri are in Mau's office and Jeri "discovers" a bug, and another microphone (the ones he just planted), and blames Sal for this perfidy. Sal calls Gabi and asks her to call Security, they need to stop the person who has been bugging Mau's office.

We are back at the head shrinking and Meño (forgive me for calling him this) tells Mau they have to find a new way of communicating blah blah blah. They are going to reverse role play. First Coni puts Mau's jacket on and tells him he has many things much more important than her and all his love is consumed by Monita. OK constanza gets an A+. Now it's Mau's turn and he puts on Coni's necklace and thinks this is ridiculous. But OMG it's all worth it because here comes the funniest scene tonight.

Mau takes a feminine Constanza stance, flicks his hair behind his ear and rolls his eyes. "Ay Gordo, I can't stand your kids, they're savages from the street. I want to send Aldo to military school and Luisa to Spain and the little one can go to boarding school outside of Mexico. Can't we just eat sushi all day long? And the Monita, ay gordo what a vulgar woman, she's a bad influence on your life.." All this while Meno motions Mau to keep going, just get it all out. Mau continues, "Monita is a, is a..." "A homewrecker!" shouts coni, "A social climber who wants to rip me away from you!" Mau stays in Coni character "Ay Gordo!" while Coni self-destructs. Meño says he knows what the problem is, the problem is La Monita. This sets Coni and Mau off on another yelling match.

Pau finds a box of microphone paraphernelia in her cupboard and tells Beto not to leave his junk around. He says it's not his and they decide to play with this box of "Hi Fi" technology. They talk to each other via the microphones even though they are only two feet away from each other. Just then Sal and Jeri burst in and yell "Busted!"

Mau tries to explain his position to the psych but unfortunately their hour is up. Coni thinks he's a magnificent Doc and Mau says not really, things are what they are. She refuses to accept it and begs for just one more hug. Over his shoulder she sees Moni walk in with the envelope and quickly forces a kiss onto Mau. Gee, we never saw that coming did we?

Moni runs out before Mau can see and before she sees Mau pushing Coni away in disgust. Coni begs a bit more just to preoccupy our handsome dunderhead before she stomps out.

Mau's phone rings and when he answers he hears Beto's plaintive wail "I tell you we're innocent." Gabi points out that in three years of her working there has Paula ever done anyting for them to distrust her? They all look at Jeri who feigns innocence.

OK, it looks like we might have a usurper for the best scene of the night. Our usurpadora is Xime, in Consti's apartment, wearing shades and draped in Conis cloths and dancing and moonwalking to her own music. Coni returns and is, of course, annoyed. Xime reminds coni of their deal and wonders what Coni is doing back at her place. Oh do tell, did Mau kick her out already? Xime is tickled, did Mau catch her with el Fantasma Vengador? Coni whines and needs to talk. Xime's cure is a daquiri, "mi casa es tu casa".

Pau and Beto complain to Moni that they have been blamed unjustly. Pau tells Moni she has to speak to Sermeño Group on their behalf. Moni says she's never speaking to Mau again in her life. Pau doesn't care what's going on between Moni and Sermeño Group but she has to clear their name. The accused pair insist in unison "SI!".

Mau doesn't believe tha Pau is involved in industrial espionage. Sal doesn't think Beto is capable either. "Are you blaming me?" demands Jeri. Moni busts in (dang she looks good today) and gives Mau what for because Beto and Pau are innocent. Well duh he knows but still has to investigate. This sets off our little hothead and he says he will investigate everyone equally. Hot head pops off again and says she's telling it like it is, why doesn't he believe her? She doesn't lie! Oh really, he says, she is a factory of lies blahblahblah the result being Moni tells Mau that he is unique and important to her. This tender moment is cut short because he's holding her wrists and when he won't let her go she punches him out. Ay gordo, que mujer!

Sal finds Mau seeing birdies and Moni tells Pau and Beto they all have to beat it. "Why?" ask the accused. "We quit!" she explains with a flourish. A pleased Jeri eavesdrops.

Pau, Estre and Moni are commiserating and Pau tells Moni she knew from the day they hired her that things would turn out badly. Estrella tries to cheer her up and Moni talks really really fast as she and Pau bicker some more. All of a sudden there is a knock on the door. It's Mau nursing his jaw. He wants to speak peacefully. Moni says they have nothing to say to each other and slams the door in his face and bursts into tears. Gosh I don't know what she's so mad about, she's the one who punched him in the face.

Tomorrow. Our three graces are dressed like Greek godesses. Moni chugs some wine then sees Mau arrive with Coni. Coni calls her an alcoholic. Nieves spies on Moni and Mau, steals a note from a passed-out Moni's hand and hisses "Those two are lovers."

Labels: gancho