Caray, Caray!

Tonight, much pointless rehashing. Read this summary twice if you crave redundancy.

Previouslys: Errika lives up to her name by perversely vowing to herself to continue on the wrong path and make Fr/Ed marry her "if it's the last thing I do." Yes, you'll have a happy life that way, you nutball. Also, we get to re-enjoy Fer's showdown with her sleaze brother Cam - if he doesn't get the hell out of Dodge, forever, she's going to tell everyone he raped Aurora.

Cam: "I did Santi a favor!" Fer: "You drugged her!" Cam: "You can't prove that!"

That useless waste of floorspace, Daffy, is crying in his bedroom. The phone rings, Barb sees it's Fr/Ed. "My dear, I will get you some of your special brew, uh, milk and honey," she says as she leaves the room. [Maybe that stuff she's been giving him for a quarter century eroded his IQ.]

Fr/Ed tells Barb he kept Cam from branding Loafly and that after what's happened, he and Esteve and all of Power Milk will eschew the Elizaldes unless they throw Cam out on his ass. Barb sez fine. Fr/Ed passes the phone to Cam who commences whining but Barb orders him to do as he was told and disappear. He throws the phone. Golllll! We love phone-wreckers.

Cam insults his sister, calling her Fr/Ed's rag doll. Fr/Ed goes after him, bloodies his lip, and shouts "Get out of here you garbage you!" Cam staggers out into the dark and I was hoping for a crocodile to come out of the night and eat him, but instead Cam just steals Fer's jeep and goes crawling to Barb. And threatens her: "Keep Fer from blowing the whistle on me, or I'm going to squeal on you." Barb tells him Daffy is just about to write Cam out of the will entirely, she'll try to smooth things over if Cam obeys her completely...

Gardenia gets the bed and Flor sleeps on the floor. Gardenia nags her, why hasn't she told about being zarandeada (shaken, knocked around) by Cam? Flor says he'll get what's coming to him. Jacinto and Margarita enjoy the story of the night's circus.

Artemio realizes his mother's diary is gone.

Just when you think Daffy can't get any more useless and pathetic, he does. He weeps as he transfers his considerable worldly goods to his saintly wife.

Fer comes in. Daffy delivers a honking big lecture: "The birth of each of you made me proud. What happened last night, it was a mortal blow to my fatherhood! As an only child, I wanted a big family full of love, solidarity, security, decency, honesty. When did my dream get lost? I didn't notice! Here I am with all my stuff - why aren't we happy, we're as miserable as indigents, nothing can repair our suffering. I worked for the future, so did my father and grandfather, and now the future is here, and look at it! I should have spent less time making money and more time working on your spiritual development."

Fer says she'll try to get Lili back, Daffy says it's what HE should have done. Blah, blah. As Fer's coming down the stairs (nobody's fallen down this staircase yet, no puede ser!!!), Barb crosses from stage right. Fer: "He's writing over all his stuff to you at this very moment."

Barb breaks into a sunny smile and murmurs blandishments to Fer, who ignores them and says: "Just promise you'll leave as soon as you get the dough." Barb says she will, no worries. Rrrring! It's Artemio, he demands her presence. She says she can't right now, she'll come later, and hangs up on him.

Artemio yells at Lili about giving the diary to Franco.

Anibal shows up at Damian's, dumps the hit money, and leaves saying (I love this phrase) "Hasta nunca." (It means, until never!) Damian mutters to himself, "I'll be deciding about that."

At Silvestre's place, Martina and Loafly aka Venus are gabbing a mile a minute when there's a loud knock on the door. They think it's Cam come back to finish the job, as he'd promised. Silvester and the girls pick up weapons and then throw the door open, it's Esteve! quite surprised by this hostile reception.

Martina drags her dad out the door to go shopping so Esteve can give Venus the big bunch of red roses he's brought and, with not too much hemming and hawing, he tells her he's in love with her. She has a hissy fit, imagining that he's making fun of her, but he tells her to look him in the eye. "I love you, I don't care about your past. Marry me." After he goes through it a few more times there is kissing and she accepts. And Martina and her Dad come back and all rejoice.

Esteve asks if she minds leaving to go live in the U.S., she says she doesn't know a bit of English, he says he'll teach her, she asks, are you going to desert Fr/Ed? He says, no Fr/Ed will return to the U.S. as soon as he's done here.

"But what about everybody thinking you're my uncle?" "Yes, that's a problem, we'll just have to keep being relatives for the Elizaldes..."

Fer and Fr/Ed have a poorly written, boring rehash. She presses him to tell her much more about what's going on, he refuses. She just has to keep trusting him. They agree they must find out what's up with Barb and Aurora. They hatch a plan to pit Damian and Barb against each other, divide and conquer. Fer calls Aurora to tell her about it.

Damian visits Aurora again, asks what gives with Barb? "I still don't know - but she's coming to see me again tomorrow." "Then I'll come afterwards and you can tell me what she says."

Barb tries to reassure Artemio that all is square with Fr/Ed but Artemio doesn't trust him any more and decides to investigate on his own.

When Barb shows up at the convent with chocolates, Aurora deploys the divide and conquer plan; she says, "There's something I haven't been telling you. Damian threatened me, he said he'd bring me back here only if I promised not to leave without his permission." Barb is impactada. "When you see him, Aurora, tell him I'm coming back tomorrow but just to say goodbye." [Remember, the plan is for her to high-tail it now that she'll have all the dough.] "That way, he'll leave you alone."

Aurora presses hard, asking why Barb is treating her so nicely. "I'm dying to tell you, but I can't until we leave together." Aurora says she won't leave with Barb unless Barb tells her! Barb promises to tell her everything when she comes tomorrow morning.

Artemio visits Father Bosco and threatens him again. "I don't believe Eduardo Juarez is dead. I study my enemies carefully, as does any man who has nothing BUT enemies. Eduardo would have been too tough after his rotten childhood to commit suicide, and besides, he was well taught by you yourself that suicide is a sin."

Bosco feebly sticks to his story. Artemio: "If this is a lie I'll kill all the Elizaldes, it will be on your head."

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