Caray, Caray!

Alternate title: It's Ladies Night!!

Tonight was a great night for most of the ladies, don't you think? Let's see what happened...

We recall from last night that Mau has set up the double date from hell (Coni's hell anyway) by insisting she join him, Beto and Xime for dinner. Beto and Xime can't seem to keep their hands off each other and the charade is making Coni steam. Mau excuses Beto so he can speak to Xime and Coni alone. Mau asks Coni why did Ximena tell him she (Coni) is pregnant? Coni's eyes throw daggers at her amiga.

Now we have some clever wordplay with Xime sidestepping and saying she didn't tell Mau she told Beto because she can't keep a secret from her lover of course. She throws in an y tu mama también and some other stuff while Coni nervously avers there is no way she can be pregnant because they are GETTING A DIVORCE, this is all a confession, er confusion that is Xime's mistake (more dagger eyes). On Monday she will see her gynecologist to prove it. Dagger eyes from Ximena. Dagger eyes from Coni.

Nieves Pau and Moni are having lunch and talking about what a great pair Fantasma and Furia make. Nieves thinks this is Beto's chance to make the big time and actually earn money. "To spend on chelas (beers) and women," guffaws Paula. Nieves notices that Moni is pensive and asks what fly is biting her (what's eating her)? Moni says it's because Estrella hasn't come back yet. Nieves makes a crack about Furia and Estrella being in full cuchiplancha by now. Moni jumps up to make a phone call. Ooh jealous.

Meanwhile, over at the Furia hideout, Estre is trying to unmask her silent Fury when her phone rings. "Estrella Falcon Actríz." Gotta love her professionalism. Furia eavesdrops from behind his cape while Estrella talks to Moni, gushes over him and blows him kisses. Moni cautions her about rushing into the romance too rapidly but Estre is done talking, tonight is her night for love. A forlorn Monita hangs up the phone while Nieves and Pau nod their heads knowingly.

Estrella gets back to buggy business with her green mantis. He's clearly interested but refuses to remove his mask. She reasons if you won't remove your mask how can we kiss? Her idea is she'll wear a blindfold. She slaps her shapely tush a couple of times with a black scarf and invites Furia to blindfold her. Furia covers her eyes, rolls back his mask and lays a big romantic kiss on her. Dang, I found this scene kind of hot. Excuse me while I get a glass of ice water. Whoo!

OK, that helped. We are back at the restaurant and Beto has rejoined the trio. He and Xime are having a grand time pretending to be lovers. Xime gets close to him while Coni steams. He calls Xime his queen while Coni steams. He rubs noses with Xime while Coni steams. He makes goo-goo talk and says she tastes like strawberries while Coni steams. He cops a feel while Coni steams. Mau scolds Xime for cheating on her husband, he doesn't understand how she can love Beto. Coni blurts out she doesn't understand either! Beto does a Coni or fresa imitation (not sure which), que paso, que paso? Brilliant!

Back at the love shack Estrella is dizzy from her romantic kissing with Furia. She waves her arms around and begs Furia to kiss her some more, he's such a MAN. And he does. "Make love to me" she begs. Aldo hesitates but she persists, throws her leg over him, and tells him to get a condom from her purse because she's prepared! (Good PSA, nice and short.) He rifles through her purse, pulls out a condom, hesitates and pulls out another one. Yowza, you go kid!

At the restaurant Xime tells made up stories about how she and Beto got together, he was her trainer yada yada love was inevitable. Coni has about melted with rage. Mau is not so happy either. I, however, am enjoying myself immensely. Beto says they are madly in love but the only problem is that she is married. Mau has an about face, he didn't realize they were so in love, and announces he will help Rolu see the light and give her a divorce. "De verdad?" they exclaim in unison. Uh oh, Xime and Beto are impactados.

Rolu is at home sulking. Jero joins him and they toast to unfaithful women, women who toss them over for someone else. Jero whines how could Jacqui dump him, young and handsome, for that old dude Sal? Rolu says how could Xime dump him for that naco...Beto! "Beto?!?" Jero is incredulous.

Beto publicly snuggles and asks Xime if she wants to get a hotel room with scratchy towels. Coni can't stand it and tells Mau it's making her sick, she wants to leave. As she departs Beto and Coni glare at each other. She gives him one last look backward so he gives Xime a kiss on the lips as a final kiss-off to Coni. "Wow," Xime says as she kisses him back, hard. "No wonder Coni goes nuts for you."

Jero is baffled by Beto and Xime, he thought Beto loved Coni. Rolu is baffled because he is used to women falling all over him. Xime on the other hand is having an affair in front of his eyes. He tells Jero that Xime is exceptional and he never thought he would suffer because of her. The boys pine over the exceptional women who are cheating on them and proceed to get drunk. They're pathetic, but decide to fight for their loves.

Gabi is looking up model agencies in the phone book. She wants to hire an Adonis model, young but not too young, happy, dark, blue or green eyes, full lips but no collagen, well-chiseled muscels, elegant, well dressed, most importantly a real gentleman. Money is no object and she'll begin interviews tomorrow. She may not be able to compete with Jacqueline but Sal will know that she can have an Adonis in her life.

It looks like Estrella, still blindfolded, has woken up from a very satisfying evening of love, the best ever. She sighs and says she will never forget this night. I know I should think this is wrong, but the writers did a good job of making it feel right.

Aldo is taking a taxi home and has what is called a "s**t eatin' grin" on his face, i.e. he is deeply satisfied and somewhat amazed.

Rolu is a bit tipsy by the time Ximena comes home. He tells her he's in love with her, he's suffering thinking of her with el Fantasma Vengador. She tries to tell him it's not really true but he interrupts. He begs her to give him another chance. He'll be the perfect romantic husband. OK, OOPS, she lets slip that she and Robi are lovers but maybe she won't dump Rolu for Beto after all. Rolu grabs her and smothers her with kisses. Hmmph, we'll see, but well played Ximena.

Enough of the fun stuff, let's dive down to the dismal domain of Mau and Coni. They bicker because she didn't want to stop at the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. We find out he didn't use protection that night (dope) but surely she couldn't be pregnant and he wants to move forward with the divorce. Coni's all No way could I be pregnant but if I were boy howdy that sure would change things and I could never split up with you. Cara impactada de Mau.

Our dunderheaded hero blows his stack while Coni lies and says no no it can't be...but they should consider the possibility. Mau calls himself stupid and of course he's right. He insists she go to a pharmacy right away for a pregnancy test so they can move forward with the divorce. Tere interrupts to tell them she can't find Aldo anywhere.

Estrella writes a note to Furia, kisses it, and leaves it on a cushion for him.

Back at the barrio Monita is preoccupied but won't admit it to Nieves. Nieves says she knows Moni like the palm of her hand and Moni doesn't like Estre playing la tanga fácil (I think this means sleeping around) with Furia. Moni denies it and says she just wants Estre to be happy. Nieves snorts that Estre changes men about as often as she changes her chones (undies).

Coni badmouths Aldo but Tere sticks up for him. Coni says he's a bad seed and suggests they send him to military school. Jacqui reacts negatively to this and reminds Coni she was no angel as a kid. Remember when she was in school and kept getting expelled for kissing all the boys? She had to change schools three times until Jacqui was ready to send her to school with the nuns. Ay, she was precocious for her age! Mau and Tere are highly amused.

Moni complains to Pau that Estre isn't around, she's worried about her. Speaking of the queen of Rome, who should walk up in the best mood ever? Estrella, that's who. What a marvelous night, what a man! She loves him she loves him she loves him! She talks as fast as a gatling gun. He's so mysterious, she had to wear a blindfold. Pau wants all the details, how is he...down there? That's it for our silently suffering monkey, Moni has something else to do.

Moni seeks refuge in her cute little house and lights a candle to the virgin. Then she pouts and recalls Furia. Head in hands she asks why does he affect her so much?

Aldo arrives home and his bliss turns to bummer as Mau jumps down his throat. Aldo tries to explain but the grownups don't want too hear. Coni butts in like the shrewish harpy she is. Mau tells him no more mistakes, this week he's calling the military school and that's his last word. Coni smirks.

Estre goes on and on to Pau that the Furia is a fury indeed. She says he is that man she has always looked for. Estre couldn't be happier, Monita is acting a bit odd though. She must really be missing her prince. "Dang I'm tired," she says. Ya think?

Drunk Jero staggers up to Jacqi's pad with his mariachis in tow. They start their sad refrain as Jero, gripping his tequila bottle, wails drunkenly for his Jacqueline.

Inside, Aldo tries to plead his case while the mariachis and Jero obliterate the conversation. Jacqui looks pleased as punch as the others try to talk over them. Jacqui is finally persuaded to go out and try to quiet Jero and the Mariachis. Speaking of quiet, Aldo asks coni to please shut up. Has she forgotten the filthy things she did to Mau to get him to marry her? He tells Mau what Coni did to them is far worse than anything he's done. Point to Aldo.

Luisa, Katia and Dani stare out the window at the romantic scene outside. Katia is sure that her mama will kill these guys and send Jeronimo packing. Instead Jacqui grabs Jero's tequila bottle, takes a swig and joins in on the refrain.

Aldo claims he's not the only one lying, Mau has been lying too. Why doesn't he tell Coni who la Furia Enmascarada is? Mau is impactado. Coni looks confused.

Has Aldo played his cards too soon?

Mañana: Coni tries to ruin Jero and Jacqui's fun, but instead of making the mariachis go away Jacqui invites them inside. Mau gives Coni the pregnancy test. Later he begs her to tell him she's not pregnant. Oops.


Vocabulary:
Some of these are repeats but they are worth it.

Chelas = beers
Chones = undies
Cuchiplanchar = the horizontal bop
Que mosca te pico? = What's eating you? (Lit. what fly is biting you?)
Una tanga fácil = someone who sleeps around (Lit. easy underwear? not sure)

Labels: gancho