Caray, Caray!

It seems like a whole lot of this episode dealt with people deciding who should marry (or end up with) whom.

Cris just saved Lucas from getting run over. They get up and brush themselves off. Cris says that Diego left, hating her, but she’s not the opportunist he thought she was. She asks Lucas to her house to help her. Lucas is reluctant but he’s not real good at that “no” thing.

Like son, like father, Leo instructs Jaime to pay Cristina’s bills.

Cristina starts defending herself to Lucas, saying nobody’s perfect, she’s sure Leo cheated on her as well, and the real doozie, what she did wasn’t betraying Leo because she had no emotions for Diego. IOW, the fact that she sleeps with men she has zero affection for, is proof of her high moral caliber.

Lucas asks Cris to tell him what happened with Diego (eww!). He says that he always felt like he and Diego were two parts of a single person, and others treated them that way as well. Now that Diego is gone, he has lost a huge part of himself. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to pick up the reins of his life himself. He wants to hear the stories of other parts of Diego’s life so he can hang onto more of him. Cris gives him consoling words. She also tells him the same thing we were all yelling at our TV’s last night. She realizes Lucas is mourning the loss of his brother, but Jade has left everything for him and has no place to go; he needs to go and take care of her.

Jade is surprised when Latifa says Lucas came to the house. She says that if he calls, tell him she returned to Morocco. Latifa says you should have never trusted him. Those who don’t believe in God cannot be trusted; they are capable of any (terrible) thing. Latifa thinks Jade didn’t really tell Ali everything. Jade corrects her. “I told him I have to marry Lucas, because.. I’m not a virgin.” Latifa blows up, telling Jade that was a horrible sin and that she hates her.

Ali goes to Said’s house to tell them he was successful in getting the Bedouins to take three of Said’s harem women. Nariza brazenly flatters Ali for his wisdom and negotiating skills, making Ali uncomfortable. He says that after they find jobs for some of the women and marry off others; that will only leave three. Ali will take one, and Said will keep the other two to take care of his house.

Nariza sticks her nose in again. She says she’ll take one along when she goes to live with Mohammed, to do the housework. Ali is surprised she’s going to Mohammed’s, but she explains that she needs to teach Latifa a lot of things, and besides, modestly of course, she (Nariza) knows everything about how to take care of a man and take care of a house. Said looks at her as if she sprouted a tail. Said distracts Ali while Uncle whisks Nariza out of the room like a child who loudly farted at the dinner party. Uncle tells her that if she wants to marry Ali, leave that to the men to arrange. She was out of line.

Uncle says he plans to invest in one of Abdul’s businesses, and he invites Said to be his partner, as long as Said will stay in Morocco to manage the business. Ali says he can send for Jade, and they’ll get married in Morocco. Trato y hecho.

Latifa calls Zoraida and warns her to burn Jade’s letter as soon as it arrives. Before Zoraida can find out the contents of the letter, Ali arrives. He picks up the phone and asks Latifa to tell Jade the news. When Jade hears it, she resigns herself - you can’t escape your destiny.

Cristina arrives. Latifa is scandalized by such a hussy, but Jade insists on talking to her. They go to Jade’s room and Cris tells Jade what’s going on with Lucas. She says that if Jade loves Lucas, go after him! Jade says she’s at least willing to listen if he wants to talk to her. At that, Cris informs her that Lucas is waiting out at the street. They both head out the door, with Latifa barking shrilly and nipping at their heels like a dachshund, but they ignore her. Jade and Lucas lock eyes again, and mash faces again. Latifa is scandalized again, while Cris is delighted with young love and the part she played in it.

So tell me, folks. Did Cris do this for ulterior motives, to get Lucas on her side? Or does she feel she owes Lucas some happiness because she contributed to his brother’s death? Or is it that this woman who has been a total self-absorbed trailer-trash airhead from the start, is suddenly wise, considerate, and altruistic when the plot requires it?

Leo stares at the four walls some more. He orders Rosa to leave Diego’s room untouched.

Dora tells Vicky that after the AI procedure, she won’t set foot in the street for nine months. She’ll stay home with her feet up (eating bonbons?). Walking into her house, she finds a letter from Osvaldo. It gives his final offer: abandon her AI plans, or forget about seeing him ever again. She’s sure it’ll be different when the baby looks like him. Sabes que? Most people think that Orlando’s Fantasyland is filled with characters like Snow White, the Mad Hatter, and Tigger. But me? I think it’s full of telenovias, because nobody can live as far apart from reality as a female character in a novela.

At the clinic, Betty Brown arrives from England, seasoning her Spanish with liberal doses of English. She has a personality very akin to Molly Brown; I think I’ll call her that. Luisa tells her that she and Albieri are getting married, and Molly Brown answers, “What the #ell? No way!” Fantasyland meets bold-faced reality. Molly says, “Albieri never could handle death. It demolishes his whole mental structure. He took hold of you because he’s afraid of being completely destroyed. You’ve got to tell him no.”’
Luisa answers, “But I luuuuv him!”
Molly corrects her. “No, you don’t love him. You think you do because you’re desperate to have a romance. Sorry, Darling, I speak my mind. But if you want to get married to a disaster, go ring your church bell.”
Luisa tries to show Molly her reality. “I know he has problems, but he’ll change.” (Women find their perfect man, marry him, and spend the rest of their lives trying to change him.)
Molly shows her wisdom by quoting two dichos. A. Mejor estar solo que mal acompañado. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. When Luisa still won’t budge, Molly pulls out Plan B. A lo hecho, pecho. “Sacar el pecho” means to stick your chest out, but figuratively it’s to face it like a man, suck it up, cowboy up. So the dicho means, “What’s done is done; make the best of it.”

Albieri, at his house, tells Dra. Sylvia and Julio that he’ll go to Morocco next week to try to straighten out the Lucas matter with Ali. Sylvia asks about his honeymoon. Albi says they’ll just take a few days, without Luisa. He can’t give Luisa the appropriate attention with this over his head. (What excuse will he come up with next week?) He confides in Julio, “Luisa wants fire and passion, and I’m just not like that.” The doorbell rings, it’s Ruben Molina, “the father of alternative medicine around here.” They tease him. Julio says he thought for sure that Molina would marry Molly Brown. We find out she is one of the leading researchers in cloning. Molina starts arguing with Albieri about the ethical issues of cloning, when, speaking of the king of Rome (or queen of England?), Molly arrives.

Lucas gets home and Leo pesters him that he should’ve called, and he should get the mole checked. Lucas complains to Rosa about his behavior, and Rosa explains that it’s because he’s afraid of losing Lucas too. Leo overhears as Lucas calls the florist to order red roses for Cristina (to thank her for helping him reunite with Jade). Leo walks in and accuses Lucas of going out with Cris. “Don’t you realize that she’s seducing you? Just like she did your brother? She‘s using you to take revenge on me. I forbid you to see her again. If you do, I‘ll kill her.” Ooh. Hard to get happy after that.

Cut to the wedding. It’s the JP, the bride and groom, Sylvia and Julio from the clinic (but not Albi’s close friend Leo), and the two old friends from abroad. Luisa is radiant as she signs the registry, making the act official. When Albieri signs, he and the guests look like the Germans at Versailles. The JP says, “You may kiss the bride.” Albieri turns to Luisa, takes hold of her head, and kisses her forehead. Sylvia cries, but perhaps not for the usual reasons. Molly Brown warns Albi, don’t hurt that girl’s feelings. Albi assures Molly, we’re very good friends. Moll answers, “Mal hecho (badly done). Don’t offer friendship when love is asked for. That will deliver you to misery.”

Back in Morocco, Latifa suggests to Nariza that the newlyweds should be allowed to live alone and get used to married life. Nariza insists that Latifa needs Nariza to teach her how to take care of her brother. Gee, is it just me, or does Mohammed look a lot happier under Latifa’s care than Nariza’s? Meanwhile, the men are talking in the other room. Uncle talks about looking for a husband for Nariza. Ali says marriage is good, but four is too many. If he had it to do over, he’d only marry one. And now way will he take a fourth wife again. (Gee, he didn’t mention that earlier tonight when he volunteered to take one of the harem women as a wife.) Uncle quickly changes the subject; “Nice weather we’re having today, isn’t it?” There’s a knock at the door, and Nariza goes to answer it as if she owns the place. It’s The Letter. Zoraida tries to get it from her hands, but Nariza is determined to take it to Ali herself. I swear, that Nariza would be considered brazen, even in New York City! Nariza barges in on the men and gives Ali the letter, which he ponders.

Leo finds Cris dancing with some man at a disco, and he makes a scene.

Roll credits.

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