Caray, Caray!

In his marvelous recap of Friday's episode, Hombre cataloged a number of choices some of our friends in Gancholandia have recently made. Today let's visit once more, this time to check on how the choices are working out for them.

Mauricio has chosen to hitch his wagon to Marcos and was promptly rewarded with rejection by our little monkey who has fallen under the spell of her mother the evil sorceress, Isabel. Isabel, seeking vengeance for her rejection by Marcos (Moni's dad), has poisoned Moni's mind against him. Marcos and Mao (not to be confused with our real M&M) are regrouping in a very appealing restaurant. Marcos inquires about the kiddies and Mao fills him in about the escapades of Aldo. Showing his appreciation for Mao's backing in his effort to develop a relationship with his daughter, he has offered his support to Mao in regaining custody of his children. Should be no problem since this old fart is responsible for Coni gaining custody of them in the first place. He assures Mao that he will make it so. This assertion is met by a confused blank look (in the case of Mao, pretty much the norm).

In the long run, probably a good choice.

I think we have our very own contender for Miss Nails on the Slate in the usually fetching Luisa whose screeching sent me to my knees to give thanks for my hearing loss. If it was so grating to this near-sordo, what must it have been like to the rest of you poor creatures suffering from normal hearing, not to mention Aldo who was within lethal range? I think she was trying to tell Aldo that she disapproves of him getting Estrella pregnant, then running off to marry her without first checking with her. He wants to know how she found out. She tells him about overhearing Jaqui as she filled in Coni. She pleads with him not to abandon her. He looks hopelessly sad. They hug. She leaves. Phew! Cute red and white stripped dress, though: no problem for this girl with horizontal stripes What's this? She must have given him a headache. He heads for his stash of pills. Wait! That's too many! Oh no! Oh yes! Oh Crap!

A terrible choice. Hey kid! Don't they show in Mexico that PSA with the egg... demonstrating what your brain will look like on drugs?

Arnie is captivated by the photo of Ximena at which he is gazing intently at as our sprite on loan from the land of rainbows and unicorns, weightlessly descends the spiral stairway. For the record she is lovely in an unsymmetrical sequined top with a right shoulder and sleeve and only the thinnest of straps on the left. Black pants, high heels... nice. Now, my choice would be to spend more time than we are allotted with her, but let us enjoy what we have. She announces to Arnie that Rolu is safely stashed in his bed with the TV on, so..."How about us Arnie?" Arnie tries to beg off more intimacy lessons , but Ximy points to the progress he has made in only a single day. She is super mega proud (orgullosa) of what her favorite alumnus has accomplished. Of course the really intimate fondling (toqueteos a toqueteos) will be left up to Lalu. Arnie prefers not, but Ximy wants all the world, sea turtles, Mao Tse Tung and Moni, even her hermanolfo, Jero, to be happy. Arnie wants her to be happy but knows that she's not. She goes over the details of her coercion of an incapacitated Rolu to marry her and be with her, even to the point of tying him to the bed, "but it didn't work (no funcionó)." Arnie corrects her, "It worked very well, my brother adores you." She then vows to fight for their maariage for after all, Rolu is her soul mate (gemelo de alma). As she says this her exuberance wilts into a frown of awareness that this simply is not the case. We know that these two have made the choice to try to ignore the growing attraction they hold for each other.

Ill-fated choices that we all know (and as I think they must suspect) will soon be rectified.

And now for the worst choice of all. Valentina has made the choice to put her faith in her lying, deceptive, cold-hearted, totally unfeeling scuzz of a mother who so far seems to have not even a shred of maternal instinct or motherly love. Serpents do a better job of nurturing their young. She and Moni are in Moni's apartment with the cobra crone wishing that she could tag along with Moni to the gym. Moni thinks that it's best that she stay behind and rest up. Isabel can't understand how someone as petite (menudita), feminine and pretty (linda) could have taken up boxing. Well, here's Alicia who will keep Issy company while Moni's away. This couldn't happen to a more deserving person. Alicia's inane babbling will give our momma snake a little glimpse into the Hell that surely is being prepared for her at this very moment.

If there is any justice in the world, Moni will surely rethink this disastrous choice.

Coni's home from her workout at the gym. She has chosen to become a boxer like Moni. Her mother Jaqui tries to impart a dose of reality onto her stubborn, willful, selfish (only for the present, mind you) daughter. With astonishing insight she points out that Coni is trying to become Moni, but ultimately lacks the nimbleness and gracefulness to ever become a boxer. "You'll be surprised when I climb into the ring with Monita." "Yes, I'll be surprised if you last a round." Coni suggests that Jaqui find another man like Jerónimo to keep her occupied and fight with so that she won't be bothering her.

This is an interesting choice, poorly made, but which may ultimately be the key to Coni finding redemption, and more importantly, a renewed sense of self-worth.

Meintras tanto, Isabella is trying to shoo away her preview of Hell. Nosireebob, Alicia, fan aflutter, like the wing of a caffeinated butterfly, suffering her own torment of hellish menopausal hot flashes, needs an ear to fill with neighborhood gossip and Isabel is the designated captive audience.

I say, "Excellent choice!"

Coni does not let Jaqui get off easy. She tosses up an inside fastball of her own. Her daddy, whom Jaqui clearly would like to go a few more rounds with, is smitten with Nieves. Take that, Mommy Dearest!

Making good on his promise to help Mao regain custody of his children, Marcos, Man of Action, is paying a visit to his old pal, Judge Fersail. The good judge doesn't understand nor care why Marcos wants the custody reversed. "You got cash, I got your justice right here. Next!"

Marcos certainly made a good choice with this judge.

In the gym, Mao and Beto are pretending to train but are actually awaiting Moni's arrival. Beto assures a nervous Mao that she will be here, and vows that he is doing all that he can to recapture Coni's heart. Moni's here and Beto takes off with Costeño. Looks like a plan is unfolding. Moni is in no mood to talk with Mao, but not so fast little monkey. Mao scoops her up in his arms, she struggles vainly and voices outraged protest. He's stronger, "This time you will listen!"

Ximena, a fantastic choice of outfits, Sweetheart! Rolu, on the bed, looks up and sees his wife decked out in a red number that would make a bulldog break his chain (I borrowed that from my adored grandfather and have no idea what it means, but it certainly seems to fit this situation). She vamps,"Rolu, how do I look?" "Divino!" He thinks that Arnoldo has spilt the frijoles. She tells him that red is the color of passion. He ends up admitting the brief flirtation with the cutie (chava) in red at the club. seemingly unfazed, she asks him what he thinks.

Back at Moni's, Alicia's verbal waterboarding of Isabel continues. Fan aflapping, she is telling her of Aldo and Estrella, of Mao's legal battle with Coni... Isabel can't take it. She sends her on an errand to the dry cleaners (tintoreria).

Ximena, looking absolutely fatally fabulous in red is needing for Rolu to quantify his love for her. Bigger than the moon, the stars, the universe... "The universe in infinite," she observes. She wants to discuss the matter with him in greater depth... downstairs. "I'll be waiting for you downstairs," she purrs as she backs out of the room... pulling his wheelchair with her. Talk about choices. Rolu has a huge choice to make. The ball is in your court, Buster.

After a brief respite, Issy is joined by the senior torturess, Nieves. She has come, "not to shout at you, or claw at you (arañarse), or share entanglements (greñas) of the neighborhood with you, although you deserve it..." Isabel expresses her appreciation then goes on attack. She knows that Valentina would be furious with her for laying so much as a hand on her. Nieves spits out, "¡Vibora!" "Estorba (hinderance)," Issy cooly replies. This lovefest is interrupted by Jaqui who strolls in unannounced, "Nieves I came looking for you (te)." Nieves wants to know since when does she tutear with her. "Since we got drunk together." Here Isabel jumps into the conversation. Jaqui recognizes her as the lady Coni followed out of the restaurant the night of the miscarriage. Isabel introduces herself as Moni's mom and Nieves quickly appends, "And Marcos' amante." Good with algebra and biology, Jaqui quickly calculates that Moni and Coni are half sisters (media hermanas).

Mauricio has transported a struggling Moni to the park and parks her on a stone wall. Crouched behind the wall with a knapsack are Beto and Costeño who at Mao's signal, "¡Que te quedes aquí! (stay here, using the subjunctive)... ¡QUE TE QUEDES AQUÍ!" Which in Spanish also must mean release the pigeons, because Beto and Beto set free a bunch of white winged-rats, that must be drugged because they don't fly away allowing a nimble Mao to capture one and hand it over to Moni, "With this white dove I offer you a truce... yada yada yada." She must be delighted because she smiles grasping the apparently numbed bird in a death grip. We breathlessly await for her to squeeze the poop out of this peace offering all over her starched white britches... Drat! No such luck. Maybe as she continues to hold it over the back of Mao's University of Tennessee Tee... nopis... Beto and Costeño bump fists. Good job guys.

Back from commercials, Costeño confesses his love to Beto who does not share the sentiment affectioately calling Costy a vulture (sopilote) as they split. As the confused birds mill about Moni finally loosens her grip on her bird enough for it to escape. The two lovebirds (M&M that is) exchange endearments we have heard many times before. Anyone want to hear this?... Thought not. Next!

Nieves, Isabel, and Jaqui are bonding. "You're quiet, Señora," Isabel says. Jaqui tells her that her mind is filled with vulgarities to express her sentiments but frankly she doesn't want to say them. Issy boldly suggests that they tutear since they've shared the warmth (calor) of the same man. Jaqui offers that if she was looking for warmth she should have gone for a charapito (I'm guessing this is like our wino, except with a preference for pulque... Jarocha? Anyone?) instead of a married man. Nieves chuckles. Jaqui considers it a nightmare that Coni and Moni are sisters who hate each other. Nieves jumps in saying that at least Monita was well-reared by her, surrounded by love and she's not about to let Issy rob her of the affection Moni has for her. Just wait'll Moni learns what Issy really is. Jaqui notes that Coni really doesn't need any more hate in her life. Issy pronounces them, "Viejas ridiculas. Metiches, corrientes, y borrachas (Ridiculous old women, meddlers, common, and drunkards)." Jaqui counters with,"Labio triste (sad lip?). Difficult to say who got the best of whom there.

Brace yourselves gang, I'll try to guide us through this with as little pain possible. Mao and Moni are walking and... gasp... talking. Steady guys. Words of love, then Mao shouts, "¡Echale, don Pepe!" Well, I'll be flogged! ¡Mariachis! Inspired choice, Mauricio. They sing, "Por qué no han de saber?..." Not one of my favorites but... Beto and Costy look on, pleased with their contribution. Monita likes. Hey! are those white spots on Mao's shoulder pigeon dookey?

Sitting alone, lovely but sad, Ximy kisses one of Rolu's/Arnie's letters. the words of her primary care bruja, Bartola, ring in her ear, "You've spent your life looking for your soul mate and you've found him, but you will lose him if you don't do something..."

Upstairs Rolu confers with Arnie. Arnie gives excellent advice, "Give up the lie the wheelchair and go downstairs.

Rolu's answer? No!

Ximy reads another letter.

Rolu tries to negotiate with his brother. Nope. Sorry Rolu. So what's it gonna be? You have until after this word from our sponsors to make that choice.

The three ladies reminisce over their relationships with Marcos. Isabel declines to offer the other two a glass of water for fear that they will rust. She notes that she has no vices, she preferred being Marcos' vice. Nieves thinks it's a first love that lasts for toda la vida. "Well yeah, first love lingers in the mind but it's the passion like she lived with him that gets under the skin, and once more I'll have him at my feet."Jaqui opines. "After twenty years?"Nieves is not so sure of that. A smug Isabel offers that Marcos enjoyed himself most when he was in bed with her.

Back at the gym, Beto, wearing a meaningfultee shirt with a simple, stark message: ↑ el Hombre ↓ la Leyenda (cute), and Costeño congratulate themselves on a job well done. This should take care of all of M&M's differences. Uh... yeah... sure. They agree that they make a great pair. Beto thinks that he and Coni make a great pair as well. Por casualidad (remember?), Costeño remembers that Coni is training at Jimmy's gym. Beto thinks that the same strategy will work for him. He enlists Costeño's aid. Costy is not sure how much he can arrange with the amount of money Beto coughs up. Beto reminds him that they are brothers. He wants doves, street birds (callejeras) are OK, just no turkeys (guajalotes) or chickens (pollos) and of course mariachis.

More M&M, this time seated on the edge of a fountain. More sweet words, memories of times together, but I think that we all see where this is headed. Let's skip ahead. Moni stands up and moves in as if to kiss and then shoves him into the fountain. He stands up, grabs her and pulls her in. They thrash about, splash, they frolic in the cool water... Enjoy yourselves kiddies, there's surely another anvil cuing up just over yon horizon.

Ximy's still waiting... and reading. She is joined by Jero. They excange good-natured sibling insults as we look up and see Rolu's amazing and I think, pretty clever choice. He has decided to drag himself down the stairs. "I'm coming my love, it took a bit of effort to get out of bed..." Astonished the sibs look on as he makes it down the spiral staircase and positions himself at her feet. I'm almost in tears at this noble effort, Jero is scandalized, and Ximy is ashamed and too embarrassed for words.

Mercifully we are whisked away from this tragically touching scene and back to the park where the lovebirds are enjoying a moment... He tuns serious telling her that Aldo and Estrella were on the verge of getting married. She knows and apologizes for keeping news of the pregnancy from him. He's in a forgiving mood (at the point of getting lucky with Monita... who wouldn't be?) But then here comes the anvil, straight from Valentina's lovely, luscious lips, "Mama's not our enemy, it's my daddy." He looks crushed, but for the moment plays along. They kiss. Make it last. It may be awhile before there's another.

At he offices of Groupo Sermeño, Marcos asks Jaqui what was so urgent, then tells her that he is nurturing the business as a legacy for his daughters. "Not just for Coni and Katia but also for Monita, right?" Well it's good that you know and perhaps it's best that you don't say what you want to say for the good of Coni. It'll just add to her hate if you tell her." All the while he is covering her with gentle persuasive kisses. We can learn from this man.

Back at Ximy's Rolu is at her feet, clinging to her long gorgeous legs. Our Ximy is stunned. She panics, bolts, and flees. Jero fetches the wheelchair for Rolu then cruelly jerks it away. No doubt he pulled wings off of flies as a child. We don't want to... but... we laugh. Jero's off to take a shower. Rolu rethinks his choices.

Back in the park, Valentina and Mauricio share with each other their very different opinions of her parental units. Irreconcilable. THUD!

Carlos

PS, here's a photo of the puerco pibil dinner:

Labels: gancho