Caray, Caray!

We start where we left off yesterday: Jorge is getting nostalgic at the hacienda. “It’s been so long since I was here. So many memories!” Meanwhile, Chavez is making his way towards the hacienda in the company of two of his lady friends from the strip club. They are in the stripper version (or Halloween version) of a maid’s uniform and a cop uniform. Naughty Maid and Naughty Cop are tired of the strip club clients who treat them disrespectfully. Chavez plans to not only treat them with respect, he will treat them to a night of loving and passion in his Paraíso Erótico- the hacienda.

Back at Doña Dolores’ restaurant, the dance contest is about to get started. Dodo and con man Martín flirt with each other and are joined by….hey! Isn’t that Paula from Gancho?! Yes, it is. Looking quite fetching in a sexy black and silver mod dress, and missing her cute glasses. But I digress..

We get a look at some of the couples who will be competing:
-Dandy convinces Susana to be his dance partner by assuring her that her chakras will thank her and that she will emerge from it with a purer/cleaner spirit.
-Claudia is nervous because her partner, Rafa, is still missing. Dandy assures Claudia he will show, as Rafa loves to dance. He reminisces about the time he and Rafa practiced their dance moves at Autos Siglo and were busted by Ale.
-Marino has partnered with one of the sales floor models and is sporting a special wig for the dance contest. Both the wig and his dance moves are an homage to John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever-over the top and cheesy. He is sure HE is going to win. Where have we heard this before?
-The General and Bebe are teaming together, but she wants to be sure he is healthy enough for the competition. He does a few stretches to convince her, but ends up hurting himself instead.
-Rosaura looks down her nose at the dance competition, especially when she sees Trapito and his partner go dancing by, and brags about the oh so fancy and fabulous dance parties she attended in Miami. “There weren’t any Nacos there. All the best people attended like the Estefans…” (Now I see why she doesn’t have a partner.)
-Jimenez actually brings his wife Elvira! She wants them to dance till they drop, and they’d better win, or else. She decides she will lead.
-Marino spins his partner and himself right into the waiting arms of dance partners B&V, who don’t mind at all. Marino, however is very disturbed.
-Ovi and Pepeto are paired together, but for a moment, after Trapito and his partner (one of the sales floor models) bump into them, it looks like there will be a partner switch. Trapito eyes Ovi (obvio!) and Pepeto eyes the sales floor model.

Back at the hacienda, Chavez and Naughty Cop and Naughty Maid are enjoying a drink at the bar in the pool house. The skirt on the cop is cut so high, and her thong undies are so small, that Univision feels the need to blur her derriere, and for once I am in agreement with the censors. Naughty Maid freaks herself out a bit talking about ghosts, as she’s always imagined that places like the hacienda have lots of ghosts wandering around.

Upstairs, Jorge’s in his jammies and tucked into his bed. Rosario calls his cell and wakes him up, wanting to know why he decided to spend the night at the hacienda. Jorge’s reply (like any good teenager): “Because I wanted to. What’s the problem? See ya tomorrow.” As he hangs up, he hears some party music. Could it be his imagination? Ghosts?

Well, I don’t think Jorge has EVER imagined the scene that is happening right then downstairs in the pool house. And ghosts don’t tend to wear sexy costumes and writhe suggestively on couches. Chavez has a lot of love to give, and he’s decided to give it to his amigitas one at a time. He takes Naughty Cop to another part of the house where she can “take his statement.” Naughty Maid decides to amuse herself by taking a dip in the pool while they are away. She takes off her stockings, then her dress (And I am horrified to see that not only do her bra and panties not match her costume, they don’t match each other! Striped cotton panties with a satin fringe bra. Que?), but she leaves her maid’s cap on, and jumps into the pool. She turns around mid swim to find a very confused Jorge staring at her. “Señorita, who are you?” Naughty Maid thinks her worst nightmares have come true. She calls him a ghost and then lets go a pretty impressive, blood curdling scream.

Back at the dance competition, Lorena Enriquez (she’ll forever be Gancho Paula to me) is announcing the start of the competition and introducing herself. Not only is she some famous tv show host, she’s Martin’s cousin. Claudia jumps on stage to try to stall the start of the competition as her partner has not yet arrived. Just then Rafa runs in and hops on stage. He and Lorena look each other over, and they both like what they see. She calls him guapo and starts some heavy duty flirting. Looks like Claudia has decided to play the role of Vicky tonight, as she jealously puts an end to this and cuts between Rafa and Lorena.

When we transport back to the hacienda, we see that Jorge and Naughty Maid have become fast friends. She introduces herself, “Yadira, mi amor!” Jorge thinks Miamor is an odd last name. Lol! He then introduces himself with his full name and as owner of the hacienda. He thinks she’s the maid- the real one. This whole time Jorge is sitting in a patio chair next to the pool, while Yadira shows off her cleavage and flashes her other goodies while cavorting near the edge of the pool. Sweet, innocent Jorge is just tickled that he found such a nice, amusing young lady to hang out with. Chavez’s time with Naughty Cop is not quite so wholesome, and he catches sight of Jorge and Yadira from the balcony above the pool. He motions to Yadira to keep quiet about his presence, and he and Naughty Cop try to sneak by Jorge.

Chavez manages to scurry quickly behind the bar, but Jorge sees Naughty Cop. “Ah, you must be the other employee (empleada)! And from the looks of your uniform, you’re part of the security team.” Lol! Chavez peeks from behind the bar wondering how he’s going to get out of this mess.

The dance competition begins and we learn the prize is 15 days of eating and drinking free at Dodo’s. (Univision had some strangely long commercial break and we came back mid scene, so some other prize might have been missed by me.) Commence the dancing!

Dodo’s tiny dance floor is so packed that almost as soon as everyone begins dancing, they all start bumping into each other. Eventually they all go tumbling down like dominoes. Dodo has a fit and yells that none of them are doing it right. (Most times things are much better in our imaginations than they turn out to be in reality.) Super Rafa saves the day (of course), by suggesting they do the competition the way they do on Canal de las Estrellas. Each couple dances one at a time and are judged one at a time (like Dancing With the Stars). Lorena is impressed. Not only is Rafa handsome, he’s also wise! Claudia puts on her Vicky hat and jumps in to cool Lorena’s jets.

While Rosario is worrying about Jorge and all the painful memories he must be encountering at the hacienda, we see Jorge drinking and laughing with the Naughties, while they dance on the table and couch and kiss him on his cheeks. He asks them how long they have worked at the hacienda, who hired them, how do they get paid? They stall and fudge their answers until the sleeping pills they slipped him take effect. Once he’s asleep, Chavez enlists the help of Chucho and another hacienda worker to carry Jorge upstairs and tuck him back into bed. Chavez is sure when he wakes tomorrow, he will think it was all a dream. He then warns Chucho to not say a word. “Nothing happened. You saw nothing.”

The dance competition at Dodo’s is in high gear. Each couple takes their turn and is judged on a scale of 1 to 10 by Lorena.
- Maicol Yakson takes the floor solo. He does a perfect impersonation of Michael Jackson, moonwalk and all, and leaves the crowed impressed. Score: 9
- Ovi and Pepeto do a merengue. There’s plenty of heat, but it’s all really coming from Ovi. Score: 7
- Marino and Yadira (sales floor model, not Naughty Maid) dance the Saturday Night Fever hustle to “I Will Survive.” They’re doing pretty well and he almost succeeds doing the lift-spin, but then spins himself and Yadira right into the crowd. Score: 9
- Buga and Amador (hey, now we know their names!) have a lot of fun doing their dance, whatever it is, and are a crowd favorite. But they only score a 5.
- Jimenez and Elvira dance a slow one to “Besame, Besame Mucho.” I don’t think they do badly, although they struggle with the lifts. Score: 5. (Mrs. Jimenez is NOT pleased.)
- Susana and Dandy take a blast from the past and bring out some fun vintage dances (the Watusy, the Swim, the Mash Potato, etc.) to “”Wooly Bully.” Score: 9. Susanna is so excited that she hugs Dandy (hmmmm…)
- The General and Bebe dance to a slow tempo cha cha. The crowd loves them, but they only score a 7.
- Trapito and Noemi dance to the “Lion Sleeps Tonight”, but apparently Trapito lands more like an elephant each time he leaps from one end of the dance floor to the other. Noemi and Lorena seem to appreciate his efforts and they score a 9!
- Dodo and Martin look like they’re square dancing, but it gives them a chance to flirt some more. Score: 9
- Ramirez and Tally seem to be dancing to two different songs. She’s doing some sultry Latin moves, and he’s pulled out some vintage hip hop moves. Score: 8

Rafa and Claudia hit the dance floor and they are dancing to one of my favorite Celia Cruz salsa songs, “La Vida es Carnaval” Claudia is a sexy salsera, and Rafa…well, Rafa is being himself. He is dancing with energy and enthusiasm, if not with much rhythm or coordination. He even throws in a few break-dancing moves. He has a huge, infectious smile on his face. And, as usual, the crowd loves him! And Lorena really loves him. Score: 10! They’re the winners. The crowd cheers and picks Rafa up on their shoulders. He and Claudia mount the stage and Lorena gives Rafa a lingering hug. Rafa thanks everyone, but then announces he has to leave to go meet his pajarita. Both Lorena and Claudia are bitterly disappointed. Rafa rips off his dance jersey and hands it to Claudia as he runs off. She complains that it’s just like a fairytale where the prince runs off and leaves something behind, but instead, she didn’t even get a shoe in the deal.

We finally get a glimpse of Ale and Marco this episode. She is waiting impatiently for him at the hotel’s restaurant. He finally arrives, wearing not only a full suit, but a thick scarf! Ale is concerned and wants to know if he’s sick. She takes a closer look at him, notes that he’s tense and wonders if the cost of the hotel room is worrying him, given their money woes. He assures her that’s not the case and that he’s ready for their evening of romance and lovemaking. Ale looks more than ready and almost skips to their room.

The room is decked out in flowers and other romantic details that Ale really appreciates. Lots of mi amors are exchanged and the kissing begins. Marco suddenly reaches for the lights and turns them off. He and Ale then bicker about why he wants to turn the light off, and so soon. (It’s not going to be that easy Marco.) Ale seductively excuses herself to the bathroom, while Marco feigns a few sneezes and coughs and frantically searches for some candles which will give him the perfect excuse to turn off the lights. The front desk informs him they are a prohibited fire hazard when he calls. Think Marco, think!

Ale beckons him to the bathroom. He’s managed to take off his jacket, but the rest of his clothes and his scarf are still in place. (I actually thought he could tell Ale he had some sort of kinky scarf fetish and leave it, and only it, on as they made love. It’s an idea at least.) Ale, however, has shed all her clothes, and all her inhibitions, and climbed into a bubble bath. She’s eating some delicious looking strawberries that are placed on the edge of the tub, and she wants Marco to join her. Well, you can’t really take a bubble bath with a scarf on, or in the dark. What’s Marco going to do? Ale gives him some come hither looks, she coos, she beckons with her finger, she even pouts. Marco stalls, he hems, he haws, he stutters. Ale finally has had it. She says she knew this idea wouldn’t work and looks sad and dejected. Marco turns his head as he tries to come up with a good lie and Ale catches a glimpse of THE HICKEY. “Mi amor, what’s that?” Uh, oh!

Tomorrow: Vicky tries to make Rafa’s last night with the Panther unforgettable, by making a baby in the back seat.

Labels: dinero