Caray, Caray!

Don't adjust your computer screens. Yes, this really is the recap for last week's MA, which was also our season finale, sadly. Apparently they showed a Season 1 rerun this week, but my TV did not record it for some reason. Well, we're promised Season 3 "soon." In the meantime...

Tonight, Patricia Reyes Spindola is "Tita Garza, Estafadora" (Tita Garza, con artist).

An older woman struggles her way down a flight of stairs, but almost immediately loses her balance and tumbles to the ground. A gardener shouts out "Doña Carmen" and yells to someone that she fell.

Aw, yeah, Gloria, let's get bloody for the last time. I'll miss you babe.

A bevy of broads play cards, including the soon to be fallen Carmen, and Tita. Carmen wins this hand. Tita gets a call on her cell phone from "Beto" and asks him when he needs her to "resolver" (resolve or settle…settle a debt, maybe?) she calls him her "angel de la guarda" (guardian angel) and says she'll do it, of course. Meanwhile the ladies motion to her to get off the phone and back to the game.

A guy in a suit tries to get hold of Tita, but leaves his fifth message, as the line is busy. He yells at a woman who walks in about needing to talk to Tita and ends up telling her that when Tita gets back, she needs to tell her that he's waiting for her.

Tita starts talking to the ladies about some fabulous investment that they've got to get in on tonight, if at all. She's apparently made money for them in the past and they debate among themselves whether they want to invest in whatever new scheme she has or not. Tita lays out some bull about a woman they know who made a ton of money. Two of the women say they'll give her a check, but Carmen isn't into it. Tita agrees to let her know for the next time. Carmen deals the next hand.

Tita finally makes it home and the maid tells her that her husband is furious and wants to talk to her. After she leaves the kitchen, the maid picks up Tita's discarded cigarette and starts smoking it.

The husband, Antonio, gripes at her for being out and is upset when she says she was gambling at Carmen's. She just stays annoyingly calm and asks what he's so upset about. Apparently, he gave her four million pesos to invest because she swore she could double it. Well, he hasn't gotten it back yet and it was supposed to be untouchable company money to pay the workers with. Now he's got no money, he was planning to sell the factory at a more-or-less reasonable price, and instead it's all falling apart now. He's worried about going to jail, but she says no one's going to jail in that same annoying "what a tiresome little man you are" tone of voice. She blames his lack of management skills on the problems with the factory and reminds him she's going to give him back a ton of money. She practically runs into the bathroom and locks herself in to get away from him. He starts asking if she invested all the money. She takes a pill and doesn't answer. He whines that he wrote some checks and they're going to get returned for insufficient funds. Tita starts taking off her makeup and looks a little desperate.

The next day, I guess, Carmen has changed her mind and is willing to invest $60k. In dollars, mind you. Partly in cash and partly by check. Tita doesn't even blink at signing an IOU for the money. She congratulates Carmen as a fellow investor.

Carmen talks to her daughter (who for some reason isn't listed on IMDB, but isn't that Diana Golden?) about what a great investment it is and that it's practically guaranteed. The daughter is having a little problem with the "practically" as opposed to an actual guarantee. Daughter chokes on her orange juice when she finds out mom invested sixty mil…dollars, that is. "That's everything you've got!" Carmen sighs that she's going to get all the money back next week, plus interest. Daughter remains unconvinced.

Daughter visits Det. Capellan, presumably after Carmen's death. She and the man with her are of the opinion that there was some kind of fraud going on. It's too much of a coincidence that all three women handed over money. They've spoken to the families of the other two women, who said the same thing happened, there's no record of the money or where it went. Capellan informs them that if they want to make a case for Carmen being murdered, they're going to have to autopsy the body. The daughter agrees and Capellan tells Aranda to get to work on it.

Tita is observed by a security camera as she walks into an office building and asks to see someone on the 9th floor. The security guard says there isn't anyone on the 9th floor--they and all their furniture left last night. She insists on seeing and he tells her to go ahead. Before she leaves she asks him if the guy left any kind of forwarding address. The guard says he didn't and she's not the only one to come looking for him. Tita starts getting nervous. Right then the guard gets a call from the guy, Alberto, and Tita snatches the phone away to talk to him. She's furiously asking why he up and moved offices and insisting that no, she will not calm down! He hangs up on her.

Tita spends some quality time smoking and watching the ants in her garden eat up a beetle. Matilde, the maid, comes running out with her cell phone. It's Chata, one of the ladies from the card game, asking how Tita could have taken money from Carmen when neither she nor Nena have seen any return on their investment yet. She complains that Tita told them ten days and it's now been a month. She insists that she needs her money back, like, now. She doesn't even care about the interest, she just needs her original investment back. Tita makes excuses. Chata reminds her that she has an IOU that Tita signed for the money. Tita complains that this is the first time she's been late and Chata acts like…. Chata has had enough. She asks if she should come by for the money herself or send a lawyer. Meanwhile, the maid also asks Tita if she should poison the ants.

Tita visits Chata. She's brought some freshly made butter-poison-cookies (or so I suspect) and she gives Chata two checks--one is the original investment and the other is the interest. She tells her she can cash the checks first thing in the morning and agrees that it's ok for Chata not to give her back her IOU until after she's cashed the checks.

At home, Antonio offers Tita a drink, but she declines. She lights up a cig as Antonio says that his dad always said a drink dulled the pain. Tita complains that she had a friend die, just like that, and how does he think she feels? He figures it feels about the same as when the interest on a debt is drowning you even though you're throwing a lot of money at it. She tells him to quit talking about money. He says he'd like to, but the little bit of money she gave him isn't enough. They're going to lose everything if he doesn't pay off the rest. She says he said things were getting better, so what more does he want her to do?

Matilde brings Tita some tea. She hesitates, but tells her that "they" came for her watch and Antonio gave it to them. Tita thought he was going to sell off some of her jewelry, but Matilde reminds her how he's always saying that the market goes up and down, so he didn't. Um, and also Nena called three times and said it was urgent. Tita just wants to be left alone.

Nena comes over to visit Tita. They talk about Chata's untimely death. Tita reminds Nena that they always call high blood pressure "the silent killer." Nena laments that Chata had even pre-paid part of her vacation. Well, that's life, says Tita. Matilde comes in and the ladies leave her to finish preparing the tea pot for them.

Nena begs for her money back. It's her life savings. Tita says the money's got to be put to work. Nena reminds her that the time period for the investment has already passed. Tita promises she'll have the money back next week. She says she'll go see her "executive" and get him to pull the money out of the investment. Nena is grateful. She has to leave, but Tita asks her to wait a moment. She comes back with cookies and tea for Nena to take home.

The phone rings in the middle of the night and Antonio answers it. He just says "yes" a bunch and then "don't worry." He turns on the light to tell Tita that Nena was feeling bad. She called the doctor, but wants Tita to be with her. She refuses Antonio's offer to come with her, saying Nena is shy and will be embarrassed about him being there. She says she'll take a taxi.

Nena coughs up a storm. The doc writes her a prescription for antibiotics to be taken every six hours, and advises she drink lots of water. Tita blames it on street food. She goes to walk to doctor out. Nena struggles to breathe. Tita prepares some tea and brings it in to Nena. The doorbell rings. It's paramedics running in to take care of Nena. One says she has no pulse and the other says there's nothing more they can do. Tita looks horrified.

Carmen asks her maid to hurry up and answer the door. Tita comes in asking what happened. Carmen says with what happened to Chata and Nena, she's very upset and she is also sick of waiting for her money back, she wants it now. Tita assures her she'll have it back today. She offers to go get the tea and asks if Carmen wants sugar. Tita brings the two cups of tea back into the living room and hands Carmen one of the cups. She tells Carmen to drink up while she goes to the bank and she'll be right back.

Forense Gerardo confirms that Carmen died of poisoning. They don't know how or with what, but the labs will at least tell them the "what." Capellan asks Aranda to order the exhumations of the other two women. I would think that after the embalming, they're not going to be able to run blood tests and whatnot, but who knows.

Capellan breaks it to Carmen's daughter that she was poisoned. Carmen's daughter insists that Tita must have done it, but Capellan says all they can do for now is investigate. They have no evidence that Tita did anything. Capellan asks where the IOU is, but daughter doesn't know.

Tita and hubby come to Carmen's funeral. Carmen's daughter is there, with her husband. She points out Tita to him as a friend of her mom's. Tita comes over to offer her condolences to the daughter. She introduces her to her husband and finally the daughter gives her name as "Diana Alvarado" (which character is listed on IMDB, but is not played by Diana Golden, but by Lourdes Reyes). Tita excuses herself while Antonio continues to talk to Diana and her husband.

She hightails it upstairs and looks in the nightstand for the key to a jewelry box, in which is her IOU. She grabs a picture off the nightstand just as Diana walks in. She pretends to have been up there mourning solo. "I saw her days ago and she was just perfect!" Diana says she'd rather Tita not be up there. Tita agrees to leave, but asks if she can keep the picture. Diana agrees and asks if later, she and Tita can meet to discuss business. "Oh, you want to invest some money?" Uh, no, she'd just like her mom's money back. Tita claims not to have any of her mother's money. She says she returned it all. She writes Diana's insistence off as being upset over her mother's death. Diana reminds her about the IOU. She calls her a con artist in front of the other funeral guests as Tita goes to grab Antonio and drag him out of there.

Diana and Capellan just look at each other, presumably after Diana told her the story.

Antonio asks for an explanation. Tita blames it on Diana's hurt and "nervousness." Antonio is having trouble understanding some things. Tita gives him a look and a gesture as if to say, "Well, that's cause you're stupid." He walks out of their kitchen. Tita pulls out the IOU from her purse and says "you'll have a lot more" (trouble understanding things, or things to not understand).

Antonio and Tita sit down to breakfast. Tita gripes at him for tucking his napkin into his shirt. He takes it out, but kind of huffs as he does it. She asks if they're ever going to be ok with each other again, but he doesn't think so. Too much baggage. She reminds him she's always been there, lending him a shoulder, making up for his debts and his lack of ambition. He tells her to shut it. He doesn't like easy money. She says he doesn't like difficult money either and he comes back with "Well, what have you ever done, besides lose millions!" The doorbell rings. Antonio tucks his napkin back into his collar. The maid announces that the cops are there to see her. Antonio, troubled, gets up to see what's up while Tita lights a cigarette. The DIEM team is in her foyer. Aranda asks Tita to come with her. Antonio insists on seeing the warrant, but Tita grabs it out of his hands. She then hands it to him saying there must be some mistake and tells the maid to bring her purse and her jacket. She obligingly lifts her hair out of the way as the maid lays her jacket over her shoulders. She then grandly waves the DIEM team out of her way with the hand holding the cigarette as she walks out the door. Antonio follows her. Aranda instructs two of the team to start searching. The woman asks the maid to open some locked doors in the sideboard. Meanwhile, the man has found the package of ant poison and plenty of live ants. The maid is escorted back into the kitchen as another guy finds a package of either cookies or tea. After being asked, the maid says she's worked there for six years.

Moran brings the report to Gerardo that all three women were poisoned with cyanide.

The very nervous maid talks to Aranda. She says Tita liked to make the food for get-together's herself. What she made depended on whether it was for breakfast, or dinner…or a game. Aranda asks what that menu would have been like. Cookies, French-style canapés, "brochetas" (skewers or kebabs), and coffee or tea. She says she always helped with the cooking.

The DIEM team continues their search at the houses of the deceased ladies. The find cookies at two houses at least.

Capellan tells Antonio that she has evidence that the financial problems were caused by Tita. He defends her, saying she's an investor and the market is unstable. "Mhm, right. What about the four million that you owe your workers?" Capellan says the money was removed from the company account by his wife. Antonio says she invested it in a "fund" so they could get back on their feet, but it looks like she lost it. He was not in agreement with the withdrawal, but she did it without his knowledge.

Moran and Gerardo fill Capellan in on the cyanide/ant poison.

Tita coldly and un-shockedly, says it's horrible that the families of her friends are trying to get some advantage out of their deaths. Capellan says there's no proof that Tita gave them back their money. Tita shows the IOUs and says she gave back all their money, plus interest. Capellan says all three of her investors are dead. Tita says they all died of natural causes, and, hey, they were older. "I'm already being accused of theft, now they want to accuse me of murder?" Capellan says neither the money nor the interest were deposited anywhere, so how did Tita get the IOU's back. Tita says her dad's an ambassador, she doesn't need to steal to live, she's an educated woman incapable of killing an ant. Capellan says what she knows is that Tita was defrauded by Alberto, her husband's business was in trouble, and the only way she could find to get back her IOU's was to kill her friends. "Prove it," says Tita. Oh, you asked for it bitch!

Capellan puts up the fingerprints and picture of Chata on a screen. "She liked butter cookies, right?"

Flashback to Chata eating the cookie and starting to get dizzy and have trouble breathing almost right away. Tita holds her arm s Chata dies. She picks up the IOU and walks out.

"You say you can't kill an ant, but you are capable of killing women with the same poison to solve your problems. One after the next." She puts up the fingerprints and picture of Nena.

Flashback to Tita smoking away in Nena's kitchen while she waits for water to boil. She puts the water in the teacup and adds a spoonful of ant poison. She spoons the tea into Nena's mouth. Nena's breathing gets more and more difficult. Tita tells Nena to calm down as Nena gasps for air. She smiles slightly after Nena dies.

Tita accuses Capellan of having an overactive imagination. She says she's an investigator. "Let's get back to the subject at hand. What happened to Carmen?" Tita blames it on Carmen's heart and Carmen's lack of self-care.

Flashback to Tita asking Carmen if she wants sugar in her tea. She forgot to ask about the ant poison, but she thoughtfully adds it anyway. We see Carmen rolling down the stairs again. The maid goes running to answer the gat as Tita comes running in, calling Carmen's name. She goes in the house to call the doctor and an ambulance. She goes frantically searching through Carmen's room for the IOU and finally realizes it must be in the jewelry box. She finds the key and opens it, but before she can take the IOU she hears the maid running in and puts everything back. She grabs the phone and starts yelling "How am I supposed to know what's wrong with here, hurry!" They both run outside. Carmen is foaming at the mouth as the gardener says she's still breathing and why is it taking the ambulance so long to get there?

Tita finishes, "and that's how it was. Are we done?" Capellan says she never called the ambulance and she didn't help Nena or Chata. "The evidence is against you. There are no coincidences, but there are coincidences (as in things coinciding) in the way her friends died. Killed by the cookies, tea, and canapés poisoned with the same pesticide she used on her plants. Capellan calls her an "arriesgada" (daring woman). Tita says those are Capellan's conclusions, but she doesn't have any way of proving anything. Capellan says Tita overlooked one thing. Matilde already testified against her.

Flashback to Matilde coming into the kitchen as Tita mixes cookie batter (while having a cigarette hanging out her mouth, cause we all know poisoners don't give a crap about getting cigarette ashes in your food) and adds some of the ant poison. Tita and Matilde look at each other.

Tita tells Capellan she didn't kill them. "I made them earn money and I won too."

Flashback to Tita standing over Carmen's body as the maid and the gardener keep trying to revieve her. She looks directly into the camera and smiles.

"Ernestina 'Tita' Garza was found guilty of three charges of first-degree murder and condemned to 50 years in prison for each one. She always denied having killed her friends and instead insisted she had exerted herself to increase their wealth. Matilde Sanchez was condemned to five years for criminal conspiracy. Antonio unsuccessfully cares for Tita's plants, infested with ants."

Some specialty legal vocab:

Homicido calificado--first-degree murder, meaning it was premeditated
Asociación delictuosa--criminal conspiracy

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