Caray, Caray!

From yesterday: Our gloomy groom Rafa is being greeted by Claudia’s cleavage and the rest of the Siglo Sales Team. He thanks them for being there for him at such an important moment. Rafa sees Marian and asks her what she’s doing there. She tells him, he will see. Next he greets Doña Arcadia who compliments Leonor on her youth, and both Leonor and Julieta on their beauty. Finally, a white stretch Hummer limo pulls up and Don Gaston announces that the bride has arrived. Everyone gathers around anxiously, but likely nowhere near as anxious as Rafa.

“Con ustedes, Vicky!” (I present to you, Vicky!) No one comes out of the limo and Don Gaston tries again. “Con ustedes, Vicky, Vicky, Vicky!” No blushing bride makes an appearance, so Don G. decides to take a look inside the limo. He finds a curiously tranquil Vicky smiling angelically back at him. Even her makeup seems toned down. She also seems to be in no hurry to leave the limo. A bemused Don G. looks around the limo and is startled to come face to lovely face with Dora the Peinadora (aka Jaime), who is sitting opposite the Stepford wife version of Vicky. Dora explains to Don G. that s/he is there to put the finishing touches on Vicky’s makeup. An enchanted Don G. kisses Dora’s hand, tickling her delicate fingers with his moustache. He then helps his niña out of the car and is quickly joined by his sons to flank their precious baby girl.

Don G. slowly walks a radiant Vicky to the altar to meet her groom. Vicky is so overcome with emotion that she has tears in her eyes. This would be a lovely moment if the groom didn’t look like he was at his own funeral. Don G. gives Rafa Vicky’s hand and asks him to please treat her well. She’s his most precious possession. Rafa promises and he and Vicky turn to face the priest. Vicky then leans toward the Padre and asks him to just skip right to the part that officially marries them. (There’s some of the old Vicky we all know!) Marian assures her friend that she will put an end to this, and Dora gets felt up by an old geezer sitting next to “her” in the pew.

The priest goes through the vows. Does Rafa swear to be faithful until death do he and Vicky part? (You could hear a pin drop in the church as everyone waits with baited breath for Rafa’s answer.) “Sí padre. Acepto.” A gasp erupts from all present. Marian looks like she just received a stab to the heart.

We need a break from this nail-biting drama, so we head to the local bar. We find Ale sashaying in to meet Susana, and receiving wolf whistles from all males present. Susana asks how her last day at Siglo went. Ale tells her about the kind words from the sales team, and about how Dandy tried to talk to her and she shut him down. “He’s the incarnation of Rafa!” Susana can’t understand how Dandy could have done something so low down, when she thought he had changed.

Ale looks at her watch, noting silently that the hour of Rafa’s boda has arrived. She announces that she needs a drink to dull the pain and takes a swig of Susana’s drink. She is disappointed to find out that it’s just juice, and calls across the bar to the waiter to bring them the hard stuff. “This is the end of my story (historia) with Rafa.” Bottoms up! She begins to drown her sorrows in martinis, remembering the good times with Rafa as the sad music plays in the background. The music pauses long enough for Ale to drain a drink, have a good burp, and collapse over the table. It then resumes to match Ale’s despondent mood.

Back at the church, another woman who is in love with Rafa, Marian, looks like she’s going to take action. She attempts to rise up before Vicky can say her I dos, but is prevented by her friend. Turns out there’s no need because before Vicky can say “Yo acepto”, she passes out! Another gasp erupts from the wedding guests. Everyone rushes to the altar to surround her. Rafa, Leonor and Don Gaston think she needs to be taken to a hospital, but the Brothers Grimm, who have another understanding of the urgency of this wedding, think she can still get married in this state. All they have to do his nod her head for her. That works right? They get overruled by the others, and off they go, ALL of them, to the hospital. Everyone except Doña Arcadia and her assistant. She thinks Jamaica will be just the thing to help her forget this stressful wedding. Her assistant laments that he didn’t bring his passport. Arcadia then has to set him straight. She is planning to head home and have a glass of jamaica (a refreshing drink made from a type of hibiscus- in Jamaica we spice it with ginger and rum), put her feet up, and hang out with her puppies.

The whole wedding party arrives at the hospital and then ALL head to the exam room carrying an apparently comatose Vicky. The doctor has to yell over the crowd and push his way through to see his patient.

Back at the bar, Ale is telling Susana that had she been able to stop Rafa’s wedding, she would have (there’s no need now Ale). Susana says she should have asked him not to get married. “I did!” (True.) “Anyway, how could I be with a man like that? How?!” Susana knows how. She urges Ale to admit the truth, that she’s in love with Rafa. Ale has no problem admitting it. “Claro que sí! Claro que sí! Claro que sí!” (Of course x 3) She collapses over the table once more.

Vicky is the only person who is not in a high state of anxiety so far in this capitulo. Don G., the brothers and Rafa plead with the doctor to tell them what’s wrong with Vicky. He gives his learned medical opinion to the gathered crowd. He believes that…she’s ASLEEP.

“QUÉ?!!!!!!!” (collective disbelief)

Felipe (little bro) wants to know why she fainted then. He is sure it’s because she is PREGNANT!

“QUÉ?!!!!!!!” Rafa tells them that it cannot be (no puede ser). Then how did it happen, her brothers want to know. “Are you calling my sister a qualquiera (slut)?”

Finally Dora jumps in to help clear up a few things, the first being her/his real identity. S/he takes off the wig. Gasp!! “Jaime, que es esto?” Julieta doesn’t give him a chance to explain. She slaps the contacts right out of his eyes. Jaime is not deterred. He explains that the reason Vicky fell asleep at the altar is because he put some sleeping potion drops into her glass of water. The crowd gets even more hostile and wants to know why he would do such a crazy thing. (I bet Marian wasn’t planning anything nearly as crazy to put a stop to the wedding.) Timid Jaime has suddenly become brave Jaime. He soldiers on telling the truth (at least what he knows to be the truth). “Vicky esta esperando un hijo mio.” (Vicky’s expecting my child.) “QUÉ?!!!!!!!” Everyone is impactado.

It’s now Jaime against the lynch mob. His worst nightmare has come true, and Rafa and the Brothers Grimm are clutching whatever part of him they can get their hands on and shoving him around. They want to know how that would be possible. Leonor looks like she’s about to faint, and Julieta is fuming in the background. Little bro starts punching Jaime repeatedly in the gut and big bro bites his earring off (luckily it’s a clip on). Vicky wakes up in the middle of this madness. Vicky, you have some ‘splainin’ to do.

At the bar, Susana is telling Ale she needs to cry it out. “Mas?!” Yes, she needs to let it out. “Mas?!” Yes, you need to unburden your heart. Ale gulps down her martini and Susana’s instead. Susana tries to cut her off and reminds her she’s getting married tomorrow. (That will only make her want to drink more Susana.) The drinking continues and soon Susana is almost as drunk as Ale. Ale claims that she’s happy she’s moving to Brazil. That way she won’t have to see or hear anything about Rafa again. “Let’s toast to the happiness (felicidad) of that canalla (swine, jerk).” Ale and Susana have gotten to the silly/giggly phase of drunkenness. When Ale’s phone rings they both struggle to tell the difference between a phone and a pocketbook, until Susana finally answers it in Autos Siglo secretary mode. Tia Rosario is on the other end and is not amused. She wants to talk to Ale. They’ve had no news of Jorge yet and she’s worried. Ale then imagines an animated Jorge, Ruby and Manrique skiing and snowboarding through the Alps. Rosario wants Ale to come home immediately. Ale lies (in a pretty poor attempt to not sound drunk) that she’s closing the most important business deal of her life. Click! Ale then turns to the bar to order another drink and envisions Rafa drinking a tequila at the bar. One thing, if nothing else, should have made her realize this was a hallucination- Rafa is wearing a marino vest (aka, a wife-beater). When her vision turns to face her, the awful truth is revealed. It’s our resident skinny drunk, who has probably never had a woman look at him this long or intently. Suddenly, Ale regains a bit of her senses. She remembers that her papa is lost somewhere between Mexico and Switzerland. Susana is fall-off-her-seat-impactada to hear this news. But she soon recovers and assures Ale that Jorge is fine. Ale then goes back to thinking about Rafa. She is sure that HER pajarito is now a married man, and off limits (prohibido) to her.

Sleeping Beauty has awakened and is in big trouble. Rafa is using her full Christian name and wants Victoria to explain this pregnancy business. Vicky puts on the innocent act. She doesn’t know what Jaime is talking about. She’s not pregnant. Jaime tells her she can stop pretending now, and even the brothers point out that they saw the test results. Don Gaston is not happy to hear his boys kept something like this from him. Vicky tells Jaime that nothing happened between them. But she did too good of a job with her deception. He announces to all that he and Vicky had an “intimate encounter.” Julieta gives him another slap, not giving him much of a chance to explain that it was before they officially became novios. But Rafa is his best friend. How could he do such a thing?

This all starts to get very painful, both physically and emotionally, for Jaime. Julieta slaps him a few more times before leaving. Leonor gives him a piece of her mind. As does Rafa, who punctuates it with some vigorous shakes. None of them wants to see or speak to him again. Poor Jaime!

Jaime explains about the fateful night- the lingerie, the champagne, the blackout, and waking up with no memory of the cositas Vicky spoke about. He also admits to helping Vicky with her plan to make Rafa marry her, and then pass Rafa off as the baby’s father. More gasps from the wedding guests at each new detail and revelation. (Hey, this is way better than a wedding. It’s a telenovela in real time!) It seems some of the guests are starting to catch on to just what really happened, but Jaime’s still in hot water. Don G. orders the doctor to do a pregnancy test. If Vicky’s not pregnant, then they will figure out what the next steps are. If she is pregnant, then Jaime and Vicky have to answer to him.

Marian approaches Rafa as they all wait for the pregnancy results. She leans on Rafa’s shoulder and he asks if she intended to stop the wedding. She admits to it. The doctor returns to announce the results. (Drum roll please………..) “La Señorita Victoria de la Parra is NOT pregnant (no esta embarazada).” (Ha! Knew it all along.)

Our Vicky does not give up easily and tries to use this news as evidence that Jaime just made the whole thing up. She’s ready for them all to head back to the church and get the show back on the road. Rafa will not be convinced. He announces to her, and to all the assembled, that there will not be a wedding. There is no gasp of disbelief this time (except from Vicky). Instead there is a relieved exclamation of “que bueno” (good) from all the guests. Vicky is now crying and babbling about just wanting her and Rafa to have the wedding they always dreamed about. She appeals to Don Gatson. But Don Gaston has caught on to the scam his daughter just tried to pull. “No señorita. Se acabó!” (It’s over!) “Do you think that after what you did, Señor Medina (notice the respectful address) would want to marry you? The wedding is over.”

Tomorrow: Claudia tells Marco about Rafa’s cancelled wedding. He’s more determined than ever to marry Ale before she finds out. Marian makes her move on a devastated Rafa.

Labels: dinero