Darth Lirio calls Brandon from his near-death bed and tells him to let Victoria go. Pure coincidence that she’s been on the scene of three of his lootings, explainable since she’s involved with the same family he’s out to get. Brandon declines to follow instructions from Public Frenemy #1, but says to himself that of course Vicky is not in cahoots with that masked man of mystery. Who could he be?
In the holding cell, MariVicky wonders why she keeps running into the dashing, daring divesting dude. But focus! Got to get out of here! She also wonders why Brandon seems willing to help her. Does he maybe suspect that she is the one and only Marianela Ruiz y de Teresa?
Comisario Tejeda reams Brandon for not tracing the call from El Lirio. {If this police crew knew how to trace calls, or demonstrated any other competence, this telenovela would have been a lot shorter.} Brandon says he didn’t have time. El Lirio is just toying with him, like a cat batting about a helpless mouse! Brandon will not rest until the masked menace is rotting in a dank cell. Tejeda thinks he’s taking this case a bit too personally. Brandon tries to claim that it’s clear Vicky is not involved, but Tejeda thinks her lack of papers is just a bit too suspicious. He tells Brandon to settle down (dejar las rabietas) and get to work.
After Tejeda leaves, Jairo arrives and Brandon asks him to get the chuecos (twisted, underhanded, i.e. fake) passport and birth certificate. Jairo says he’s got the contacts, but he’s reluctant and is surprised Snow-White Brandon is even asking. Brandon says it’s an important favor for someone really special to him, and gives Jairo the info. He declines to say who this is for, but won’t Jairo need a photo for the passport?
Brandon tells Vicky her documents are on the way. She asks why he’s helping her. He tells her to just be happy and not ask so many questions. MariVicky tries to cagily ask whether it’s because he knows something about her. “All I know is that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” says our smooth charmer. She doesn’t like that he’s risking his career, and for nothing in return, even. “Who says I expect nothing in return? You’re going to pay.” She looks mildly alarmed, but all he’s asking is that she go to dinner with him once she’s out of custody. She doesn’t think looking at her over tacos and beer is much of a reward for what he could lose forging documents, but he’s says there’s no forging. It’s all legal. He’s got her data, so it’s no problem to get legal documents from the Civil Registry, RIGHT? She tries to discourage him from doing this. “Because Victoria de la Garza doesn’t exist?” asks our suddenly clever poli. {Really, Marianela. You should have gotten false documents before you started this whole scheme, and I can’t believe you haven’t been asked for identification before this.}
Meanwhile, back at the rattlesnake ranch, Fedra and Spiderus are coming to the same conclusion. It’s just too much of a coincidence that records show Marianela entered Mexico the same day that Victoria crashed Emanuel’s wedding. Emiliano interrupts to tell Fedra that Vicky has been detained, and he’s got to help her. I don’t know why he hasn’t learned yet not to inform Fedra of anything that’s going on. Fedra is predictably snarly at the idea of his helping, but Emil says she’s a friend of Marianela’s and that gives him a moral obligation to help her, especially since there’s no proof against her. “A FRIEND of Marianela? No, much more than that,” Fedra croaks when she’s alone again.
Doris visits MV, and MV tells her that Brandon is on the verge of unraveling her tangle of lies.
Delirio is still lying in bed, bleeding through a towel that Netty is not even applying pressure to. Gladiola is still hollering at Netty through the house. Netty is still somehow not telling Gladiola to shut the heck up. Eman begs Netty not to let anyone know he’s there.
MariVicky frets to Doris that no one can know she is really Marianela, at least not until Fedra and Emanuel are behind bars. Doris says she can throw them off the trail if Mari is willing to take on any level of risk. Mari is. Doris is on the case.
Doctor Arnaldo has arrived, and Gladiola has escorted him to Netty’s bedroom door and bellows her demands to know what’s going on. {Here’s where Netty should claim some super embarrassing and private medical problem and demand that Gladiola go away and leave her alone.} Netty starts coughing violently and claims she’s contagious. Gladiola stills wants to be let in and is offended that Netty is keeping her out. She finally goes away pouting and Doc Arnie steps in and makes much less fuss, even when confronted with a bullet wound and told it’s hush-hush.
Ilitia and Manzanita return to Casa Crazy, Ilitia nattering to not-there Malicio that he will never put a finger on her again. Manza tells her she sounds nuts. Also, the little apple is hungry; they never fed her. Ilitia tells her to keep quiet about it. “Why did you kill him? Killing is bad,” Manzanita remarks, without much concern. “Shut up, little plum or whoever you are! I did not kill him! Don’t mention this to anyone, understand? I was just defending us from a bad man who wanted to hurt us.” “They’re going to throw you in jail!” Ilitia claps her hand over Manzanita’s mouth once again. “I SAID, he’s not dead! I didn’t kill him! Unfortunately. Quiet, OKAY?” Kristel strolls down the stairs and wonders what they’re talking about.
Benigno skulks into the kitchen, not remotely blending into the furniture in his camo-and-houseplants disguise. Paula tells him he doesn’t have to hide, “no hay moros en la costa.” (no one is watching). He’s glad, because he’s so hungry he could eat a whole cow. Paula thinks he’s got enough of a gut as it is and should eat something lighter, so she gives him some of the vegetable soup she made (with a poison assist from the MurderMasters) for Max. Benigno slurps it up. Paula mentions that Max doesn’t eat like that. In fact, he hardly does anything at all; just lies in bed and spouts crazy talk. She’s really worried. Benigno agrees. Max is a tough old soldier, but lately he looks muy dado al catre (idiotic, simpleminded). And to make things worse, he has to eat this soup, which doesn’t taste very good. Paula indignantly says that’s just because it’s low in salt and fat.
Ilitia claims to Kristel that they were just talking about a scary movie they saw. “RIGHT, Ciruelita?” “No, you’re a liar.” {How did the little apple make it on the street so long, with this lack of survival skills?} “What movie did you see?” Kristel asks Manzanita ingratiatingly. “We didn’t see a movie. We were at the home of…” Ilitia’s hand swiftly clamps over Manza’s mouth once more. She tries to convince Manzanita it’s time for bed. Kristel sucks up some more, and Manzanita tells her they went for ice cream with a man, and then Ilitia killed him. Kristel just doesn’t even know what to make of that. “No, it was just a rat. Byeee, rat!” Ilitia says flippantly, as Manzanita shakes her head. Kristel is still stunned. “You? A rat? Aplastado, and everything?” “Aplastado, apachurrado, y fuero de esta mundo.” Kristel is impressed.
Back in the kitchen, Paula is still worrying, now about Gretel. She rambles on about Gretel’s chances for happiness as Benigno quickly goes loco. He starts making friends with the refrigerator light as Paula babbles obliviously. She’s hoping Gretel reconnects with Oliver; love is such a beautiful thing. “Is love like the light, Paulita?” “Yes, love illuminates everything.” “Where does it go when it turns off?” Benigno asks, closing the refrigerator door. “True love never turns off,” Paula says dreamily. “Hello, light! Goodbye, light!” Benigno says over and over, opening and closing the fridge door. Finally Paula notices something is amiss. “You’ve gone crazy!” … “The SOUP!”
Oliver is awake. He asks Manolo if he was really on the verge of death. Manolo sniffles that he gave him a few gray hairs, flatlining for two whole minutes. Oliver says he imagined that his beloved Gretel was here praying for him. Manolo says he must really love Gretel. “Here’s something that will help you recover…I know what happened to Gretel!”
Emiliano bravely sits through another of Axel’s little guitar-and-singing recitals. He even applauds when it’s over. Maybe because it’s over. “You have a lot of talent, son,” he says. “Uh…you’ve applied to the conservatory, right?” What a kind way to tell the kid he needs lessons. Axel says yes, and the auditions are in two months. Emiliano is super proud and happy. He tells Axel that he’s told Fedra he’s taking a business trip to the U.S., and he wants Axel to come along. Axel would love to go. Emiliano confides that the trip is really to Switzerland, to bring Gretel home. Axel tells him traveling to Switzerland will do no good because she isn’t there; he and Emanuel discovered that she had been locked in the wine cellar for two years.
In the blechelor pad, Lowrenzo is trying to get Fedra out of her clothes, but she can’t get Victoria out of her head. That woman is like a hydra, her head popping up everywhere! In the agency, in the house, everywhere, and she’s out to get Fedra! Lowrenzo, frustrated and wanting to get down to business, finally says if Victoria gets out of jail, he’ll take care of the rest. What’s a little murder when you’re horny?
Emiliano is in denial. Axel tells him how they went down to the cellar and found the food and syringes and Gretel’s name scratched into a barrel. Emiliano breaks down crying and punches things.
Lowrenzo clarifies that he is not willing to go all the way, Vicky-riddence-wise. Fedra says when someone’s in your way, you have to get rid of them COMPLETELY, for good. He says he is not a murderer (ha). “Then what happened to the mother of your latest spawn? You had nothing to do with that?” “Totally innocent.” “I know what you’re capable of. We’re lagartos del mismo pantano (two of a kind).” She suggests that Victoria’s demise would be a great benefit to both of them. Then she minces out, leaving Low high and dry.
Emiliano is in crushing emotional pain, imagining his little Gretel locked up like a lab rat. Axel assures him that this is true.
Meanwhile, GretelMan is telling Oliver s/he got information from a super-reliable source in the RydT household. “Spill it, then.” “Gretel never left. She never went to Switzerland. She was locked in the wine cellar for two years!” Oliver’s ready to head out and throttle Fedra, but for the fact that he can’t even sit up. GretelMan gets him to hold still and rest. “Yes, it was Fedra. She threatened to kill you if Gretel didn’t leave you.” “You aren’t just lying to me because I’m on my deathbed, are you?” “No! Gretel had to tell you she hated you in order to save you! She never stopped loving you!”
Axel says they don’t know where Gretel is now. But, after stalling for weeks on telling anyone about this, there isn’t a second more to lose! They’ve got to look for her! Emiliano is too distraught to function. How could Fedra be so inhumane?! Axel tries to comfort him, but he continues to blame himself and rage that he will never forgive Fedra. He wants to kill Fedra immediately, but skinny little Axel holds him back.
Oliver’s in a similar state. “Where is Gretel now? Is she still locked up? I have to find her!” He tries to get up and skinny little GretelMan holds him back. Not very well, though. He sits up, making his bullet hole bleed again, and GretelMan just yells for the nurse. No-Nonsense Nurse doesn’t bother to reason with him, opting instead to inject a little liquid loosey-goosey sauce into his IV line.
Brandon is home from a long day of work, but can he relax? No. Gladiola hops in his face, frantically sharing the gossip that Doc Arnaldo is holed up in Netty’s room, AND THEY WON’T LET HER IN!
Upstairs, the doc has saved Emanuel. Eman weakly thanks Arnaldo and Netty. Brandon knocks on the door and demands to know what’s going on. Gladiola hovers behind him. Can’t a grown woman have a little privacy? Metiches. Netty frets instead of telling them to mind their own freaking business.
Benigno has taking his raving lunatic act out into the garden, where Paula is trying to rein him in. Manzanita seems to think it’s a game. Emiliano comes outside bellowing for Fedra, followed by Axel, and they wonder what’s wrong with Benigno. “It’s the SOUP!” says Paula, not really making things any clearer. Kristel and Ilitia swish out the door next, telling Emiliano that Fedra went to the super. Then they too notice the crazy gardener. “What the heck?!” “It’s the SOUP!” says Axel, seeming to think this is all a joke. Ilitia doesn’t have time for this. Her baby hasn’t come home and he isn’t answering his phone. Where is he? “The champion is always training! The dogs are coming out!!!” Benigno shouts with glee, approaching the dog kennel. “No! No no no!!!” Kristel and Ilitia yell. Benigno releases the dogs, and the fresas scream and run, the dogs in hot pursuit. {Man. Just when you think nothing funnier can happen on this show…} Everyone else stands there laughing, unattacked. “Benigno!” Emiliano chastises. “You can’t blame him. It’s the SOUP!” Paula insists. Axel sagely nods, shaking with laughter. Humorless Nereida comes outside. “What is going on?” “It’s the SOUP!” Axel, Paula, and Manzanita yell, laughing hysterically.
Max watches all this on his monitors down in the foxhole. “And they say I’M crazy,” he mutters. Then he realizes… “The soup?”
The doc tells Brandon through the door that Netty is super contagious. Brandon insists he’s super tough. Netty coughs some more, begging them to leave her alone so she can rest. Nothing doing, the nosy nellies won’t go away without seeing her. Emanuel silently rages, wishing he had an invisibility cloak, and thinking he’d maybe take the opportunity to strangle Brandon while he had it on.
Fedra slinks into the holding cell area for a social call. And then we return to the simple old days of weight-related insults. “I’ve come to say hi, Victoria…or should I say, three point fourteen sixteen (?), tinaco sin fondo, homenaje al cholesterol. Or should I just call you by your real name, Marianela Ruiz y de Teresa?”
Brandon breaks into the bedroom, where Netty is now lying in the bed coughing and Doc Arnie sits by looking concerned. “That is no way to enter a lady’s bedroom! Such disrespect!” Netty chastises through her hacking. Doc repeats that they need to leave and let her recover. Gladiola is now all apologies and ready to leave, but Brandon says “wait!” and opens the closet. {Brandon! You do not open a lady’s closet! Especially when she’s your landlady.}
Fedra wants to know Mari’s weight-loss secret. Stomach stapling, liposuction, jaw wired shut, pills, what? MariVicky isn’t conceding and she tells Fedra she seems delirious. “You’re as bad an actress as your aunt Netty,” Fedra says. Mari slings back some insults about Fedra drying up in old age and that’s why she’s losing her mind. “I have proof that you’re deceiving all of us, Marianela,” Fedra snarls. “You arrived in Mexico the same day you turned up at Emanuel’s wedding!”
Brandon’s still searching Netty’s room, and she’s annoyed. She acts all insulted that he would suspect his beloved auntie Netty of harboring a delinquent. No, she will not excuse him for thinking so! How dare he! She gets all worked up, then collapses and sobs that she’s going to die.
“Yep, that much is true, my friend Marianela is in Mexico to do battle with you,” MariVicky agrees. “YOU are Marianela! Stop pretending! I will not let you ruin my family!” Fedra is nearly foaming at the mouth. “The only one ruining your family is you. You’d do anything for money, even destroy your own children. The only person here with a double life is you, and I’m going to unmask you in front of everyone, Juana Felipa Pérez.” Well, that stops the rabid witch in her tracks.
Axel plays with Manzanita. Kristel and Ilitia stagger back into the house, muddy and with hair even worse than our buddy Blenderhead’s. Axel chuckles about this going on the internet. “Zero cool, you flea! Don’t you dare take a single picture!” Kristel yells. “And you, little plum! No smiles, and straight to bed!” Ilitia adds. Axel races Manzanita up to the bedroom. Emiliano asks Ilitia if she knows what Paula means by the soup. Ilitia thinks the servants are just dimwitted and nuts, but who cares? The real concern is that her baby is missing. Emiliano thinks Emanuel is probably just at the police station, dealing with the aftermath of the robbery at the agency. Seems it was that Lirio de Plata. “What? Why is that guy obsessed with us?” Ilitia asks, pretending this is the first she’s heard of it. {Good thing that bigmouth Manzanita has gone to bed.} Emiliano hopes they trap him. At least there was a witness, Victoria. “WHAT?! Emanuel is with HER?!” Emiliano shrugs.
Next morning, Fedra is in a baaaaad mood. Spiderus thinks it’s because Emiliano slept in the guest room instead of with her, but she tells him THAT WOMAN called her by her REAL name! “Seems you finally found la horma de tu zapato (you met your match),” Spidey comments, getting his own zapato stomped on in response. Fedra has now decided that Victoria can’t be Marianela, because Mari is too stupid to have figured such a thing out. Then brain trust Fedra comes up with the fifty-peso word pusilánime (timid) to describe her. Way to go, Fedra. Eventually you’ll have the vocabulary of a fifth grader. Spidey seems surprised that she got the word right.
Emiliano kicks Bernardo out and tells Fedra they have to talk. “Yes, we do. Why didn’t you sleep with me last night?” “So I wouldn’t murder you! You evil, evil woman! You kept your own daughter locked up for two years!”
Avances: Kristel demands an explanation from Rapey-Snake. Brandon says to Ilitia her husband is missing and El Lirio is injured…might they be the same person? Netty tells Emanuel that Marianela ditched him because she found him in bed with Ilitia at the agency. Emanuel is going to demand an explanation. Explanations will be demanded all around! Big stuff!
Dejar las rabietas – quit with the tantrums
Chueco – twisted, dirty, underhanded. One of my favorite words; it has so many applications.
Hay moros en la costa – we’re being watched, or eavesdropped on (lit. there are Moors on the coast). This is another of my favorite expressions!
Muy dado al catre – catre means, like, a folding camp bed. But dado al catre means gullible. Maybe because catre also means a tub for bathing babies? Like, “born yesterday.”
Aplastado, apachurrado, y fuero de esta mundo – flattened, squashed, and gone from this world (if only!)
Mi cielito en Pekín – another of Oliver’s bizarre terms of endearment
Lagartos del mismo pantano – lizards of the same swamp; two of a kind
Pues, desembuche, no te atragantes – well, spit it out; don’t choke on it
Tinaco sin fondo – bottomless tank
Encontraste la horma de tu zapato – you’ve met your match (lit., you found the shoe tree for your shoe)
Pusilánime -- fainthearted
Labels: llena
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