Caray, Caray!

Bernarda and Victoria face off at last…dum, dum, dum! Each accuses the other of having ruined her life. It comes off like "You ruined my life!" "Nuh-uh, you ruined MY life!" "Well, you ruined my life FIRST, so there!" "Well, I only ruined your life because I knew you were gonna ruin mine!" Oh, yes, but it was all Victoria's fault for seducing JP and taking his virtue! You're a sinner! No, YOU'RE a sinner! Bernarda threatens violence, but Vic tells her to back the hell off. Bernarda brings up the lost child and Victoria says she's going to burn in hell for it. I bow to Daniela Romo's eyebrow arching skills.

Martincito is recovering well. He can go home tomorrow, and Padre JP promises he can run around with the other boys, but he's got to take it easy. The parish guys come in to visit and they bring him a "balón" (a fútbal). The doc and Padre JP talk about how the guys get along much better now than they used to. The guys all agree that they are Padre JP's children and he gets a little verklempt…wait, are Catholic priests allowed to get verklempt?

Bernarda and Victoria now threaten each other with telling the world about each other's past faults, real or imagined. Victoria was a priest-seducing slut. Bernarda was an overbearing mother. Bernarda wants Vic to leave JP alone because it wasn't his fault the kid got lost. Victoria physically throws Bernarda out of her office. She calls Luci and tells her to tell security to NEVER let that woman in the building again. That's the first intelligent thing she's said all day.

JuanJo comes to check up on Linda. She says she was so freaked out that she left her makeup case behind and now she doesn't know how she's going to work. Nathy thinks she should have given up the bracelet. Linda has enough presence of mind to say that she was upset that they wanted to take it. She's going to put it away so she doesn't get assaulted again. Maria D hates that on top of everything else, they've got to worry about being mugged by delinquents! JuanJo invites all the girls to dinner at his house and tells Linda she'll find out what the occasion is soon enough…wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Max drives Maria to work, stopping at a posted "Model Crossing" (if you've never seen one of these before, it's white print on a hot pink background, with stylized legs towering over tiny plastic cars…be careful, those girls are insured so, you break it, you bought it!). He waves at the herd of giraffes and Maria fusses about it. She asks a question even worse than "Does this make me look fat?"…"With all the beautiful women in Mexico, what are you doing with me?" Max says she's "different." Seriously, man, you're gonna have to do better than that! He likes her sweetness and her "mál caracter" (bad temper)…but seriously, there is no woman more important to him than Maria. That wins her over. He says he's so happy that he doesn't want to go to work. Maria says no way, "if your mom finds out I'll get in trouble!" Max says little by little, Maria will win his mother over. Smoochies. Smoooooooooooochies. And the jackass behind them starts honking.

Padre JP prays in his church. Victoria comes in and asks what he thinks he's doing sending his mother to come threaten her. Victoria fills him in on the meeting and he says he had nothing to do it. Vic says he has to take action, he can't just wait for God. He admits that he shares responsibility for what happened between them. She says all she wants is to find her daughter and he promises not to stop until they find her. Victoria wants him to put his mother on a leash. "If what she wants is to bring up the past, we've all got a lot to lose. Especially you." Padre JP is surprised to hear her say it. He watches her walk out of the church.

Maria and Max sneak into the building and try to lie to Pippin about showing up together. Pippin brings up Maria's beauty and Victoria's big plans for her. Pip starts to talk to Max about someone who's been calling, but Max says, "later." Pip walks off singing about "amore!" Maria teases Max about the mystery calls from Paris, but he brushes it off and convinces her to sneak off to his office with him. Bow, chicka, bow, bow!

Guillermo practices martial arts. He pins his opponent and probably feels like a badass, but he'll get his comeuppance in the end.

Max shows off his office and his amazing view. The view out his window, people, minds out of the gutter! Max wants some smoochies, but Maria is reluctant…for about half a second!

Osvaldo calls Victoria at work. She's irritated when she answers and he can hear it. She asks if she can call him back after she calms down. Ossie sits behind his desk and gets his mid-life crisis going again…"Nothing I do ever satisfies Victoria!" He'll be calling Linda before the end of the episode.

Linda is sitting at the table with JuanJo and Nathy, looking nervous. JJ says not to worry…after tonight her whole life will change. Nathy praises JJ's courage and asks him to demonstrate his mad fighting skillz. The phone rings and he answers it. Damn. Os works fast. He doesn't say who it is, so Linda grabs the phone and says it must be work. Nathy covers by saying people are so rude nowadays, not wanting to give their names over the phone. Shut up Nathy. Grow a spine and quit letting this tramp steal the man you love! Fight for your right to JJ! Os says he wanted to know how Linda is doing. She says she had kind of an accident…"Yes, sir, if you want me to come to the office, I can do that." Os figures out that she can't talk and asks if it has something to do with the guy who answered the phone. Meanwhile, JJ, very close to the receiver asks "Quien es, mi amor?" (Who is it, my love?) Busted!

Milagros gets Don Napo to help her down from the bus. She thanks him for coming out shopping with her. She's buying Linda's engagement ring. She doesn't want JJ to end up single. She needs him to get married and procreate. And speaking of getting married…Don Napo says he's too young. When he goes grey and hair grows out his ears, he'll get right on that marriage thing. Milagros figures he'll be calling her tomorrow…heh, heh.

Os tells Linda that he's been called to the Televisa studios, so he'll give her a call later and she can tell him what happened. Linda agrees and says she'll show up later, and thanks for his understanding.

Linda tells JJ she's got to go to an interview, but she lost her makeup kit. JJ says one they get married, she won't have to work anymore. "Yes, darling, but in the meantime, I need money…I can't live on air! But don't worry, the man who just called me offered me a job I'm very, very interested in." Linda catches Nathy's eye and realizes she's giving her chair just a little too much of a lap dance. JJ comes over to hug her. Probably attracted by the pheremones.

The Spanish director has summoned Ofelia and Guillermo to tell them something, but not before Osvaldo gets there. It's a surprise. Osvaldo comes in and asks what the director has to tell them.

Fabian shows up and can't get in because the door is locked. Max goes to unlock it and he and Maria pretend that Max was just giving her the tour. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I'd like a tour. Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to say that out loud. Maria leaves to go, you know, do some actual work. Fabian calls Max "tonto" (stupid). What if Max's mom had come in? Max says he just can't help himself he wants to smooch on her every chance he gets! Fabian says he understands, the same thing happens with Max's sister, but he's not going around cornering her every chance he gets. Max tells Fabian his sister isn't into him. "Sorry. That was a stupid thing to say." Fabian says not to worry about it. They've got work to do and they're behind.

Fer's friend Gabi tells her that it's not the end of the world just because her parents want to get a divorce. Fer says her parents have never had problems, but now they're fighting and she feels like it's her fault. Gabi think it's more likely that Os is into another woman. Fer says there's no way! Her dad's a great guy. Gabi thinks Os just wanted a little something on the side, that's all. Fer forbids her from even joking about it or their friendship is over.

The big news is that Osvaldo is going to be in the miniseries. The director insisted until Osvaldo got a good character. Basically Guillermo and Osvaldo have switched places and Osvaldo is now playing the villain. Osvaldo actually thinks it's an even bigger role than Guillermo's, with all due respect. But what about the other telenovela that Osvaldo was going to do? The director got it delayed so that Os could be in the miniseries. Ofelia pretends to be pleased, but the wheels are turning.

Padre JP talks to his confessor. The confessor says he needs to get everyone to calm down. Tell the ladies to stop catfighting and just stay away from each other.

Maria comes to see Victoria in her office. Victoria says there are two big runway shows coming up. She needs to speed up Maria's training and do a makeover, asap. They need to find her colors, get her a better hairstyle, and so on. The only thing that won't change is the name, "Maria Desamparada" because it makes her unique. Maria hugs Victoria in thanks and says she really identifies with her since she found out that Victoria's origins are as humble as her own. Maria mentions that they both needed their mothers, but neither one had her mother. She hugs Victoria again and says she feels like they both feel the same pain. Maria starts to leave, but Victoria calls her back and calls her hija and hugs her.

Os calls Linda to find out what happened the other day. He invites her to dinner and BEGS (dumbass)…just as friends, though, and she'd better be clear on that. I see Os is feeling all studly again.

Pippin and Antonieta have dinner at the same restaurant where Osvaldo is having dinner with Linda. Os had mentioned it to Pip before and he decided to take Antonieta there. She sees Osvaldo walk in and suggests they invite him to their table, but Pip sees Linda and covers his face with a napkin.

Nathy tells Maria that Linda went out with Os. She's worried that Linda is now missing her own proposal. The doorbell rings and it's JuanJo, all dressed up.

Antonieta wonders who the hell that woman is. Linda hoovers his face. Antonieta wants to go right over and give him a piece of her mind. Pip wants to hide. Antonieta is furious, but he gets her to leave with him. Ofelia and Guillermo, hiding at a table behind a plant, also see the Linda and Os show, and they grin happily. So the moral of the story is, if you're a dumbass who's cheating on your wife, don't take your new arm candy, who has more cleavage than sense, to a restaurant that you've recommended to everyone you know. Or maybe, you could, I don't know…not cheat in the first place? Just a thought.

Antonieta is still yelling at Pip when they get out to the car and into traffic. She thinks it's obvious he's cheating, but Pip says it was an innocent kiss and all artists kiss each other like that. Antonieta is not buying that. Pip begs her not to say anything. She can't do it. Pip says the family's happiness depends on it and if he has to he'll take her to his studio and sew her lips shut. Antonieta says for the happiness of the family, she'll swear, but she's furious and she thinks Os deserves to be burned with green wood! Pip says life will take care of it…"le saldrá panza, se le caerá el pelo, le saldrá una verruga en la nariz, no te preocupes" (he'll get a belly, his hair will fall out, he'll grow a wart on his nose, don't worry). Antonieta can't see how he can be so calm when this is so serious. She says she doesn't know what she wants to do, but then she gets an idea. She asks Pip to drive her back to the office.

The girls are making excuses for Linda…traffic, full busses. Milagros says the food is going to be terrible if she keeps reheating it.

Linda and Os toast to Os' new role. She kisses him again and Os tells her that they'd agreed they were just friends. Linda calls it a friendly kiss. She's annoyed by the ringing of her phone and finally answers it, knowing it's her roommates. Maria tells her if she doesn't get there in 15 minutes, she'll tell Victoria everything.

Maria hangs up on her and tells everyone that Linda is on her way. Don Napo says he was nervous after the attempted mugging the other day. Milagros hadn't heard about it and asks what they were trying to steal. "Una pulsera, " replies Nathy (a bracelet), then amends it to "de fantasía" (costume jewelry or imitation). Milagros says these damn kids today! She goes to reheat dinner and Maria goes to help her.

Linda says one of her friends was just assaulted and they stole the bracelet Osvaldo gave her, that she lent her "friend." She has to go. She leaves, but then comes back to kiss him on the mouth one more time. Guillermo and Ofelia toast to their good luck.

Bernarda sleeps the sleep of the damned. Kudos to the lighting guys for the strange spotlight on the giant crucifix over her bed. She's awakened by the door to her bedroom opening and the Ghost of Victims Past visits. "I'm dead because you killed me! For your conscience, I'm still alive!" It's hard to understand what he's saying with the echoing, but basically he threatens her with how horrid it would be for JP to find out what she's done. He ends with "You don't deserve his prayers!" Bernarda wakes up, but keeps screaming "Go away! Leave me alone!" Tomasa hears the screams and comes to her door, but doesn't enter the room, just stands outside and crosses herself.

Guillermo and Ofelia go back to Guillermo's place to hatch plans. Guillermo says he'll use the knowledge at the right time. She advises him to do it discreetly so they don't suspect him. Guillermo says Osvaldo owes him. Especially with this latest--he's read the script and the villain's part is better than his. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Ofelia says Pedro's stupid. She's only with him because it's to her advantage, but she can't stand him. Guillermo takes away her drink and suggests they share from his glass. They get it on. She'd rather have him than Pedro?

Pip begs Antonieta by anything she holds dear not to do anything she'll regret later.

Oscar asks Victoria what's up. She says a lot, but it's private and she can't tell him. He offers to keep her company, at least, but Vic says she's not the best company right now. Oscar asks her to trust in him. "You're offering me help? Me? The woman of iron? The woman who has earned the reputation as being hard and not having feelings?" Oscar reminds her she's a woman, first of all, and even the strongest women have their weak moments. Victoria says she was young when she started out and she realized how difficult it was surviving in a man's world. "You guys don't like it when women are in charge. I bet you don't like it taking orders from me?" Oh, no, Oscar luuuuuuuuurves it when she orders him around. He says he admires and respects her.

Linda praises Milagros' cooking and says she's never had better. Milagros complains about having to reheat dinner so many times. Linda says it took her a 2-hour commute to meet her new boss and then she had to fill out a ton of paperwork, but at least she got hired. The other girls start to help clearing the table and Don Napo asks if it isn't time to serve dessert? He brings over the cake and then starts to pop the champagne while Linda chokes on her engagement ring. JJ asks her to marry him and she looks confused.

Vic says she met a lot of men, some of them wanted to use her, some of them wanted to beat her down, but one day she found Osvaldo and she finally found love with him. Oscar asks her to forgive him for saying it, but he envies Osvaldo's luck. Vic says she was having a moment there, talking about her feelings, but it's over. Oscar begs her to look at him and says she can trust him unconditionally. Victoria thanks him and hugs him. And Oscar can now die a happy man.

Osvaldo is in the building, looking for Victoria. He stops in the hallway to talk to Luci for a moment.

Victoria is still going on about how alone she can feel sometimes, crying and hugging Oscar. Osvaldo walks in and asks Oscar what he's doing holding his wife! Vic says she has nothing to explain. Osvaldo tells Oscar the only reason he's not going to tell him everything he thinks of him is because Vic is there, but if he sees anything like this again…. Antonieta comes in and says they don't have anything to explain and he has no right to ask for explanations, is that clear? Osvaldo and Antonieta face off while Vic looks confused.

Sweet William Levy in a kayak!

Tomorrow: Someone publishes a picture of Max and his alleged "fiancee" in the paper, and it's not Maria.

Labels: triunfo