Caray, Caray!

1. Capitulo 190

Love is blindness
I don't want to see
Won't you wrap the night around me
Take my heart
Love is blindness (Cassandra Wilson New Moon Daughter)

Okay, it's not Edna St. Vincent Millay, but that song started going through my head as soon as I typed the title. And Love sure is blind in this one, kinky lovemaking aside. We have a number of couples who just scream Doomed to Fail in Three Month's Time. But since this is a telenovela, we can trust everybody will stay Crazy in Love Forever. Now on to tonight's episodes.

EMAN GETS A CLUE

Emanuel, out by the pool, chuckles at how stupid he was not to realize Mari and Vicky were one and the same. But now that he knows, boy is he ever going to torture her!

FEDRA WANTS HER DUE

Our favorite villaness has stopped by the boarding house to threaten Netty. Give me every centavo Emiliano put in your name. If you don't, I'll never give him a divorce as long as I live. And I'm gonna live a long time. No way sez Netty. That dough belongs to his kids. Be content with the money you already swindled out of my niece Marianela, you trollop!

EMILIANO WANTS TO …..........

Well, mainly he wants Chema to get lost. When he arrives, our salty old sea captain is hovering very close to Netty and Emiliano asks what he's doing “so close to mi mujer”. Your “mujer”, Fedra just left a moment ago, sniffs Chema. This woman Netty is NOT yours. And takes his leave.

AXEL'S FEELING BLUE

Because Delicia brushed him off with a swish when he tried to sit beside her. { You go girl!} Unfortunately big bro' Eman sits down and tells him not to give up. Gotta “luchar” for your one and only Love and all that. { Shut up Eman. We hate this guy.}

GRETEL'S DOING TWO

Well, at least that's the impression she gives a shocked Kristel, who thinks she's going to sabotage the reconciled couple Olly and Gretel by telling sis she saw Olly kissing Manolo. No problem, laughs Gretel. We're a “menage a trois”. Making crazy sandwich love every single night. Wahoo! Great physical comedy by all three. Gretel and Oliver goofy and camp as all getout. Kristel mega Top Model Horrified. Kudos to all. Worth a rewind.

EMAN'S BEING CRUEL

He's ragging on fattie Marianela, who's anxious to get out of the fat suit and rendezvous for some nookie with el Lirio de Plata. No morning sickness for our gal. She's randy as a goat and ready for more shagging, pregnancy or no.

AND KRISTEL'S LIKE HOW COULD YOU?

Yes, our Miss Manners takes a little time to berate Eman for hovering and fussing over Mari while totally ignoring his wife. He reminds her she was the one who told him Ilitia's bun in the oven was from another baker. She maintains now this was just a joke. Ilitia could NEVER be unfaithful. She'd cut off her hand before touching that naco policeman.

CUÑADO TELL ME TRUE

So Eman grills Oliver. Are Brandon and Ilitia lovers? Olly gets out of an outright lie by saying Brandon NEVER said a thing to him about it. Right. Brandon, at least, is a gentleman...naco or no. Still, when Oliver reports back to Gretel about the questions, she vows to make like a journalist and find out the truth. Are Brandon and Ilitia lovers indeed? Our little Brenda Starr intends to find out.

SO NOW TWO ARE DUE

Yes, here we are again in Fertile Valley. Eman , convinced of Ilitia's fidelity, now ponders that he IS going to be a daddy. While Marianela simultaneously gushes to herself about her newly discovered pregnancy. Complications ahead. For sure.

ANDRÉ TAKES HIS CUE

While Doris gets in touch with her nagging side (maybe André isn't so lucky after all) and fusses at him to hurry up so they don't miss their flight, Brandon wanders into her room and finds the note on her pillow saying she's left for the weekend with her infected beau. {We also learn that the actor is well into his forties from the way he's holding the note about three feet away to read it! So sorry buddy. We know how you feel.} Then Jacqui arrives to fan the flames, claiming that André is a heartless wretch who infects women with HIV just for fun. And when they get it, he dumps 'em. Brandon immediately calls in and orders the police to intercept Doris and her criminal lover and also surround the airport. This ends badly. Outside André's apartment, Doris kicks the first officer and fells him. André adds another wallop, and they take off running. They're now guilty of assaulting a policeman. Not cool. But Doris has a backup plan for leaving the city unmolested. It involves her makeup skills naturally. Stay tuned.

ILITIA STICKS LIKE GLUE

Our scorned AlsoTop Model shadows Marianela out to the pool, accusing her of sneaking out every night to meet Emanuel. Mari denies it while fidgeting and fretting that she won't make it to her planned Love Shack fest with el Lirio. {And another song is going through my head.}

OLLY HEADS FOR THE LOO

And while he's gone Emiliano arrives with Netty and Gladiola in tow. Ready for the family dinner where he'll announce his betrothal to Ernestina Pavon Romero. But Papa is Annoyed. Because Eman's not there (Tell him I had another engagement Emanuel tells Axel). And neither is Marianela. Kristel is outraged that those two “sooooocial climbers” (trepadoras) have barged in and just where the heck is Mommy!? Emiliano explains that they can no longer live under the same roof. And as soon as the divorce is final, he's marrying Netty. And with that he gives her a bodacious beso. Everybody toasts with champagne, including Max who's arrived from the basement in full regalia. Well everybody except Ilitia, who's had her glass snatched away by her protective suegrita Gladiola. { Love it that the prospective abuelita is meddling already. Ilitia will be no match for her. That's for sure. }Anyway, a good, albeit brief PSA to not drink when pregnant.

BERNARDO'S LIKE BRAND-NEW

And living the high life. In Lorenzo's apartment. And in Lorenzo's smoking jacket (batin). Drinking Lorenzo's best cognac. Low is chapped. Fedra arrives and is equally upset. Netty's got her hub and her money. Low vows to get it back. They grapple, they fuss, they get aroused, they decide to dip into the jacuzzi, they do....or would have...except that Bernardo and Nereida got there first. While Fedra drops to the floor wailing “My eyes, my eyes!” Lorenzo fumes helplessly. Nice to see these two out-foxed and totally flummoxed by faithful lap dog Bernardo. Who has the “agallas “ to sneer --What does a person have to do to get a little privacy around here.--

AND VICKY'S LIKE WHEW!

Yes, our randy little vixen has managed to escape the mansion and hook up with el Lirio at the boardinghouse. Delicia and Gretel helped her make the change out of the fat suit. And el Lirio materialized out of nowhere as usual. On with the kinky blindfold and the incredibly boring love raptures. I need you...your skin, your kisses, your whatever. She's dreamily carping that she wants to see his face and know who he is so she can tell her best buds, Gretel, Delicia and Doris. He saucily wonders why Marianela isn't her best bud. She lies badly. He enjoys it. As well as the rest of her. { I am sooooo bored by these two.} During their interminable love-making, he wonders why she doesn't regognize his kisses. She wonders if she should tell him she's pregnant. { I say that's a great way to ruin the moment. But they didn't ask me.}

190 Vocabulary (just in case I poop out and don't feel like doing it later)

un batin= smoking jacket (used to be Lorenzo's now it's Bernardo's)
no comas ansias = don't worry (Emiliano to his family)u
hazme caso = André, worried that Doris doesn't understand the seriousness of assaulting an officer

Neta? Netissima! = Really? Yes, REALLY! (Olly assuring Eman Brandon told him nothing)
trepadora = social climber ( a word used at least 70 times in any telenovela ever made)
agallas = guts as in “having the guts to do something”

Dicho of the Day
Ser muy listo(a); ser muy vivo(a) To have a lot on the ball; to be very bright
Candidates anyone? Delicia maybe. Fedra in her own cunning way. Otherwise...a very short list.

Episode 191 THE BEST LAID PLANS WILL GET YOU PREGNANT

On the back stretch now but this old nag is losing ground. The York Mint Pattie stash has been exhausted and I'm relying on Trident gum to get me through this last slog. And dreading my next Near Death Encounter with the dentist.

GRETEL AND OLIVER UP IN A TREE, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

Actually they're out by the pool, still trying to make up for lost love time and Netty trips out to tease them about their smooching. And kvetch that Fedra will never let her and Emiliano be happy. Gretel happily announces that she has the proof Dad's marriage is a fraud and it will all work out.

TIRESOME LOVE DRIVEL

Masked Marianela wants to know why el Lirio won't abandon everything for her. She's clearly in a nesting mode now. He maintains he must continue his noble work as long as the poor and needy require it.

THESE BOOTIES ARE MADE FOR WALKING

Ilitia, redemption casting a soft glow on her already lovely face, is entranced with the plain little white socks from the market that Gladiola has brought. Chuck'em out! sneers Kristel. Cheap “naquerimada botitas”...how could you ever?.....oooooh, I get it. She gave you those 'cause she's your suegrita. That baby is naco-bred and built. Don't expect me to keep THIS secret Miss Best Friend Forever! Well, okay...maybe I'll keep the secret if you use your fashion world influence to make me the biggest brashest Top Model ever. Deal.

WHO SAID LOVE KEEPS YOU YOUNG?

André and Doris are sneaking through the airport disguised as mega-old folks. Doris' mouth looks really bloody and unnatural. Plus if they were in such a hurry to make their flight, how did they have time to stage that elaborate make-up and dredge up old folks costumes? Whatever. The ruse fails when Doris sneezes and her nose falls off. Brandon hauls them both off to jail, while protesting to an enraged Doris that he loves her and wants the best for her. And André isn't it. She rails that he's acting like her dad. And he's not. Though he helped raise her from the age of 15 when her own dad took off. Stalemate. The cells are chock full of Llena de Amor actors again.

MORE DRIVEL

Marianela is still hectoring el Lirio (They're at the boardinghouse by the way. No need to escape to Love Shack since nobody's home.) She wants more of him. Not just these nightly lust encounters. And she has marvelous news for him. At least she hopes he thinks it's marvelous.

Okay. You know what's coming, right? She keep circling around the subject, never actually telling him she's preggers until Consuwaila , home for a quick change before heading back to hospital, knocks at the door. El Lirio disappears. And still doesn't know he's got his own little masked bun in the oven.

IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME. WELL, ACTUALLY IT IS YOU. SO GET LOST.

And re-appears down below as Eman. Vicky is cold and dismissive. She's moved on. You can't, you're my woman! protests Eman. I have a new novio, she sneers. And you don't measure up to him at all. (Okay Emanuel. You're getting a clear view of her character. Sleeps around with masked guys. And is hatefully dismissive with old lovers. Like what you see?)

THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Netty, Glad and Oliver are on their way home from the celebratory dinner at the mansion. Emiliano wanted to accompany them but why worry! Olly's along. Except he's no help when the trio is assaulted outside the boarding house by four black-clad thugs (Fedra, Lorenzo, Bernardo and Mauricio). Fedra, with a little salute to cleavage, has a keyhold bodice to her outfit. The guys have all covered their manly chests. Lots of banging and shrieking and inside, Emanuel stands there unmoving, a total doofus, saying -Uh duh, what's happening?

Netty has been kidnapped, that's what's happening!

Meanwhile, Vicky, showing more ugly traits of character, assails Emanuel for his skanky murderous mother and claims it's all HIS fault for descending from those loins. (Do women have loins? Well, whatever.) Eman's not sure this assault is mom's fault but if it is...he vows to set things straight. Still, he thinks José Maria might be responsible for this crime. CommisarioTejada, another lovable but useless doofus, is alerted and on his way. Meanwhile, Oliver nurses his bloody nose and Glad laments that just when Netty's life was about to change for the better, this happens.

Chema arrives {“hablando del rey de Roma” speak of the Devil} and swears he'd never do such a thing. But Fedra would. Anything for money.

I'M AN ACTRESS....I'M POOR!

Is this a PSA for better salaries? Anyway, Netty is tied to a chair in some dark dingy place wailing that she has no money for ransom. It's all Emiliano's money. Which he gave to her until he could divorce that witch he's married to. Meow! Fedra's having fun channeling Cat Woman, purring and scratching Netty while fantasising about blowing her away with bullets then and there. Faithful lap dog Bernardo has a Doggie mask, very apt. Lorenzo is a Pig (dead on) and Mauricio, once again inflamed with lust, this time for helpless Netty, appears as a Rat.

The gang is bickering. Fedra's in kill mode. Bernardo is arguing that they can negotiate better terms if Netty is alive. Like turning over not only all the cash but also the mansion and everything in it.

CONSUWAILA AGAIN

Yep, our eternal metiche walks in the wrong door again. This time when Gladiola is frantically trying to transform nasty Vicky into increasingly nasty Marianela by wrestling her back into the fat suit. Ungrateful Vick is complaining that Doris isn't there when she needs her. Glad leaves. Consuelo stays. Mari swears Cons to secrecy while observing that Consuela hated her as Vicky, but loved her as a dear friend when Marianela. Big hug.

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

While Consuela and Mari hug upstairs, Gretel arrives downstairs and announces excitedly that she thinks she knows where the kidnappers have taken Netty.

AND MARIANELA GETS PUT IN HER PLACE

Our fattie, still in nasty Vicky mode, tromps downstairs to berate Emanuel for his origins. And how dare he pretend to be as upset over Netty's disappearance as she!? Netty is NOT his blood. But I love her dearly, whimpers Emanuel. Papa Emiliano steps in and reproves Mari for her shoddy treatment. He's trying to support you. And he's a good man. Don't treat him that way. He doesn't deserve it. Have you forgotten all the love that united you?

WORSE THAN A DOG

Yep, that's how Marianela has been treating him, observes Emanuel. { And given the average dog's treatment in Mexico, that's a serious complaint.} They were good friends long before they were lovers. Can't they at least go back to being friends again?

Marianela admits that in her thirst for vengeance (Forgiveness PSA) she's become a “hard woman” (ya' think?). And what's more she's in love with another man. But she can't tell him who it is. And there we end. Whew.

Internet Previews:
Emiliano wants Emanuel to run upstairs and get Victoria. Marianela panics....and says no no, I'll go.

Vocabulary:
tener buen puestos los pantalones = to be the man of the house, to be a straight-shooting upright guy (Oliver talking about Brandon)
embaucar = trick, con
de por medio = at stake, at issue Netty, talking about the stumbling block of money in Emiliano's divorce proceedings.
bendito(a) adj. = darned, danged, friggin' as in “esta bendita puerta!” a softer version of “maldito(a) which would be “damned”
eso que ni que = sure, of course
checar la cartelera = check the listings (for airline flights) Doris to André
hablando del rey de Roma = speak of the Devil....(and he appears)

Dicho of the Day

Todo por servir se acaba. All things wear out if you use them. And Lord! My patience is wearing out with these double recaps! How about yours?

Labels: llena